child discipline
- Thread starter Intrepid4576
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I'm so confused... My aunt never spanked my cousin and he turned out to be an alcoholic, drug abuser who lives at home with his parents. My parents spanked me and I own my own home, I'm happily married with two kids and I'm gainfully employed. That being said I would like to spank my 9 and 11 year old kids at times but I don't as it stopped doing anything about the time they were 5 years old. And I can't seam to reason with them either. My daughter is too emotional and my son is too lazy to reason with. I'm gonna need this British narrator to give me some advice on that as well.
i got bored after the 1:20 or so mark so I spanked my dick a few times, then forgot why i was on this retarded thread so I spanked my monkey again
as he stated in the video - the studies do not say at any time that spanking has a 100% chance to do anything or that not spanking has a 100% chance to do something
it is simply stating that if you spank/dont spank these are the possible outcomes and chances for said outcomes
Please keep report back in future intervals and relay to us your findings of potential positives or negatives of having spanked your "dick" and your "monkey" also do you ever spank the above stated "dick" and "monkey" at the same time? If so what differences does that impose vs doing them separately?
I was kind of joking there... That's kind of like saying... Studies show you may be a victim of sudden cardiac death if you leave your home today. We're not saying if you leave your home, you'll die... Because if you stay home you might die as well. But if you leave you might die.
With spanking there's too many factors to say that my kids will grow up to be a wife abuser because I spanked them when they were 2-5 years old. That's just stupid to try to correlate that out, and people trying to show that data have an agenda. Maybe some people that report to spanking also strike their kids with a closed fist but don't report that action in the study. Maybe some verbally abuse the child as well but don't report that action. Maybe a subset of the study group had a below poverty level income and skewed the data because of the over all environment that the kids grew up in? Maybe the study focused on a specific income level such as below poverty in order to get the results they wanted. Being in the medical field, I'm always very skeptical of "facts" and "studies," the people in charge of them always have an agenda. Especially in the medical field, if you wait long enough another "study" will come out stating the exact opposite of the prior one and then the whole establishment will switch their way of thinking on these new "facts."
Exactly. Look at the other videos that user has on his YouTube account. He is clearly against spanking.
There's too many other factors like "why" to make a sweeping generalization about spanking. I was spanked and my kids get spanked if they need it. Obviously, it does, and should, taper off as the child gets older. One may surmise that it is because of the correction the child is given while young and they no longer require much correction when they're older.
Obviously, we're not talking about abuse, we're simply talking about a smack on the butt. Infants should never be spanked since they do not yet understand cause and effect.
I'm a husband, father of two (soon to be 3), full-time college student, working full-time, and I was spanked when I was younger. I don't beat my wife or my children, I don't abuse drugs or alcohol, I have no problem with authority figures.
Maybe I am the 1%, but I don't think so.
I received a few when growing up but my father never spanked me when he was angry. He let me think about what I did and then we would talk about it. He would ask me what I should have done verses what i did wrong. if it was something bad enough to warrent a spanking he would say that he thought I now understand what I did wrong but he felt I needed a little something to help me remember it and he would have me lay across the bed and he would pop me two or three times with his belt. He explained that he did it out of duty and not because he was mad at me and he took no joy in having to do it. When it was over he would hug me and tell me that he loved me very much. I was never afraid of my father for the above reasons and trusted him fully to do what was right. We could all take a lesson on this type of corrective measure as it did not qualify as a "beating".
+1
Discipline of the children needs to be discussed by both parents and they need to be on the same page. Everyone has different temperaments, experiences, and situations. Just having the parents, in the same house, on the same page will drastically change the effectiveness of discipline. I am convinced, as a parent, anyone who fails to effectively disciple hates their children.
Discipline should be corrective and out of love not punitive or manipulative. Not because the parents are offended, angry, frustrated, or for convenience. This study is skewed by parents who haven’t learned self-discipline. If they can’t do that, how can they discipline someone else?
Failure to discipline correctly and effectively is an epidemic in our country. Children are disobedient to parents and authority figures.
Spanking can be an effective tool, if correctly used. Most of the disciple tools I’ve seen used are not corrective and are nothing more than a temporary inconvenience for the child. The child does not benefit from it.
I’m still trying to figure the discipline thing out, but I know what has worked. Anyone can see there are more factors in play in these statistics then just spanking.
I was spanked, I thank my parents every day for spanking me and being parents to me. Its wrong that parents try to be their kids "friend". Youre not their friend, spank that ass! Let your kids know what they have done wrong and then explain to them why what they did was wrong and move on, it worked on me and my sister. My whole family spanks, family tradition!
P
Pleistarchus
Guest
Why are you posting this video on here? Were you abused as a child? Are you abusing your children and are looking for a way to change? There are so many conditions infecting us all and while this is only one condition of thousands I am curious as to why your posting this condition on this Forum.
Don't have any issues with a spank on the butt for a disobedient child...however I know what works FAR better for my 8 year old "high energy" son...manual labor.
For example, yesterday he was disrespectful to his mother who was correcting him for some misbehavior earlier. I came home from work and put him to task helping me move several large piles of chain sawed tree limbs into a brush pile in the far treeline. He did this in full view and earshot of his two sisters who were having a great time playing in the pool with Mom. After several hours of doing that, he was genuinely apologetic to both me and his Mom.
Side benefit, he actually worked hard, helped me get a job done faster and we got to spend some time together.
For example, yesterday he was disrespectful to his mother who was correcting him for some misbehavior earlier. I came home from work and put him to task helping me move several large piles of chain sawed tree limbs into a brush pile in the far treeline. He did this in full view and earshot of his two sisters who were having a great time playing in the pool with Mom. After several hours of doing that, he was genuinely apologetic to both me and his Mom.
Side benefit, he actually worked hard, helped me get a job done faster and we got to spend some time together.
The most important aspect to child discipline is caring enough, and being involved enough, to know when your child needs to be corrected. How you go about that is your own business. My mother not only spanked me, she whipped me with a belt. I was born and raised down south. The commitment by southern parents to not "spare the rod" is ingrained, and that shit makes an impact. My wifes mother never spanked any of her three children. All of the siblings on her side and my side are successful, and productive members of society. Above all I have found you get the best result when you let your child know why they are being punished. Discuss it before and after the punishment. Also recognize the outside influences that may cause behavior, (i.e. child didn't get enough sleep, being couped up in the house all day...etc.).
Cod Liver Oil!!!
All my kids had Red Butt more than once.
Sometimes it works, sometimes it doesn't.
What worked the best for me was to figure out that the reason they were misbehaving was because of a vitamin deficiency.
In order to correct this misbehavior/vitamin thing I would gather them around and put a spoonful of Cod Liver Oil in each mouth and make sure it went down. Pity the fool who holds it in his or her mouth as the taste only gets worse.
I would put a trash can out and make them all sit on the couch and watch cartoons for 10 to 30 minutes, time varies as to how bad they were.
If they had to puke in the can, no problem, here is the next spoonful, "Sit your ass down now."
After one dose of this, they will beg for a spanking over a vitamin fill up.
No bruises, nothing of the sort. Help out their bodies with vitamins.
Then when they are making ass all you have to do is ask if they are "Feeling a vitamin deficiency coming on?"
They get nice fast.
Regards, FM
All my kids had Red Butt more than once.
Sometimes it works, sometimes it doesn't.
What worked the best for me was to figure out that the reason they were misbehaving was because of a vitamin deficiency.
In order to correct this misbehavior/vitamin thing I would gather them around and put a spoonful of Cod Liver Oil in each mouth and make sure it went down. Pity the fool who holds it in his or her mouth as the taste only gets worse.
I would put a trash can out and make them all sit on the couch and watch cartoons for 10 to 30 minutes, time varies as to how bad they were.
If they had to puke in the can, no problem, here is the next spoonful, "Sit your ass down now."
After one dose of this, they will beg for a spanking over a vitamin fill up.
No bruises, nothing of the sort. Help out their bodies with vitamins.
Then when they are making ass all you have to do is ask if they are "Feeling a vitamin deficiency coming on?"
They get nice fast.
Regards, FM
I think the important part of this is that while being punished he's still doing something productive and spending time with a parent. Something I'll keep in mind as mine get older. Thanks for posting.
I try to stay away from spanking my little one.
My wife and I discussed this early on and yes spanking is something my 4 yr old will remember,
but is it necessarily what I want her to remember about her upbringing?
As frustrating as it is at times, putting hands on MY kid isn't necessarily teaching her anything valuable in my opinion.
I would rather her learn reasoning skills than fearing consequences associated with her actions.
She is our only one, and we feel we have one chance to get this right.
So far she is a great kid....
My wife and I discussed this early on and yes spanking is something my 4 yr old will remember,
but is it necessarily what I want her to remember about her upbringing?
As frustrating as it is at times, putting hands on MY kid isn't necessarily teaching her anything valuable in my opinion.
I would rather her learn reasoning skills than fearing consequences associated with her actions.
She is our only one, and we feel we have one chance to get this right.
So far she is a great kid....
I got spanked regularly as a kid, and I always hated bullies. This guy is full of shit. What a f&&cking liar...... Just more psychobabble.
Oh, and I'm not a criminal, nor do I have sexual problems, nor am I a violent person. But I would like to rip this fool's lying tongue out of his mouth, and shove it up his a$$ where the rest of his head obviously is....
Oh, and I'm not a criminal, nor do I have sexual problems, nor am I a violent person. But I would like to rip this fool's lying tongue out of his mouth, and shove it up his a$$ where the rest of his head obviously is....
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+1 sniper uncle. My dad used to get his excercise whipping my ass and eye turnd owt awriht! Ha!ha!
Kids have to be about 6-17 for Cod Liver Oil to lubricate the brain joints. Maybe younger, give it a try.
All 3 of my kids, now 32 to 40, have told me that was the worst thing I did as to discipline and none of them failed to learn from it.
That shit tastes horrible. FM
All 3 of my kids, now 32 to 40, have told me that was the worst thing I did as to discipline and none of them failed to learn from it.
That shit tastes horrible. FM
I like this approach. The only question I have is, this isn't the only time the kid has to do things around the house, is it??? Hopefully it was the fact that his siblings were playing while he worked that was the punishment. I would want to be sure that the kids don't equate hard work with punishment.
Cheers,
Tim
The Right to Keep and Bear Arms Shall NOT be Infringed
Kids don't come with owners manuals, so you have to figure this stuff out on the fly sometimes. I can count the number of times on one hand that I spanked my 2 kids. It's been several years ago now (they are 8 and 11 years old now) but I'm sure they remember it, and I did not enjoy it in the least bit. However, I thought it was important for them to know that they crossed a "line" and that I wouldn't stand for it. They are both good kids. Polite, respectful, and do well in school. The same cannot be said for some of their classmates. I don't enjoy being around disrespectful little shits that are allowed to run wild because their parents allow it.
I agree with Former0302, if you've got a kid with too much energy, give them too much to do.
I agree with Former0302, if you've got a kid with too much energy, give them too much to do.
I have 5 children the oldest is 32 the youngest is 9. One is a step child she is 20. She came to live with me at age 7. I raised all my children what some would call strict. I call it firm but fair. Here are the results.
Son- 32- engineer- put himself thru school- married -about to make me a grandfather.
Daughter- 27 -office manager at Home Depot running outside contractors- single.
Son- 20 -Air Borne Ranger- Single
Step Daughter-20-just got a job this year working fast food-lives off grandma- lives with POS boyfriend-totaled car last week in a single car wreak never called police.
Son -9-Straight A in school - Cub Scout- works in my shop summers -Raises livestock he sells at market.
My wife raised her daughter her way .
I raised the rest my way.
Nuff said!!
Son- 32- engineer- put himself thru school- married -about to make me a grandfather.
Daughter- 27 -office manager at Home Depot running outside contractors- single.
Son- 20 -Air Borne Ranger- Single
Step Daughter-20-just got a job this year working fast food-lives off grandma- lives with POS boyfriend-totaled car last week in a single car wreak never called police.
Son -9-Straight A in school - Cub Scout- works in my shop summers -Raises livestock he sells at market.
My wife raised her daughter her way .
I raised the rest my way.
Nuff said!!
My kids all have some basic chores they are expected to do as part of being in the family. Age dependant, but basic stuff like keeping their rooms clean, putting their toys away, etc. Above that, they can earn a little pocket money by doing extra stuff above and beyond what they are expected to do, like mopping floors, vacuuming, cleaning bathrooms, weeding, etc.
Punishment is the more taxing stuff like yard work.
It's also not the first approach we use. Usually the go to is a limitation on privileges. My kids get only an hour of screen time a day, so taking that away seems to do the trick most of the time. We reserve the hard labor for the final straw.
Our kids are pretty good kids so far. Time will tell, they're only 9,9 and 8...but so far they are respectful (usually) and do well in school. They like to be outside and seek adventure. But, they're kids and like all kids they push boundaries.
Personally, I don't have an issue with an occasional spanking if done without anger, but it just doesn't work with our son. I think each kid is different and you've got to tailor your approach to the kid. Just like good leadership, one size doesn't fit all.
Our kids are pretty good kids so far. Time will tell, they're only 9,9 and 8...but so far they are respectful (usually) and do well in school. They like to be outside and seek adventure. But, they're kids and like all kids they push boundaries.
Personally, I don't have an issue with an occasional spanking if done without anger, but it just doesn't work with our son. I think each kid is different and you've got to tailor your approach to the kid. Just like good leadership, one size doesn't fit all.
+1
I have two girls (6 and 3) and most of the time a disapproving look or an 'ahem' will quell it. A talking to and restricted screen privileges if it goes farther.
But there are lines that get crossed that call for an immediate cessation of nonsense. When my oldest took off like a shot for the street and heavy traffic as a 2-year old, I was able to grab her before it was a tragedy (just caught her by the hair). My "daddy voice" turned on full volume and a huge swat on the behind came with it. I wasn't angry with her and I never want my children to be afraid of me (otherwise they won't come for help when there is a problem), but she hasn't even put her toes on the curb since that day.
My 3-year old...she's a great kid and sweet as can be, most of the time. But she could give a shit what you say or do. That kid is stubborn. We're still figuring her out.
We teach them what we believe is right from wrong and what we consider acceptable. They're going to make their own choices in life sooner than later and all we can do is try to help them understand that there are consequences to doing the 'wrong' things in life, be that debt, addiction, bad relationships or just a miserable life.
Total agreement here. Each child responds differently, and it is a blessing and a challenge to figure them out.
I like your approach to having expectations of certain chores, certain types of chores for extra cash, and certain types for corrective measures. Nice flow there.
Also, I totally agree with a well administered spanking when given justly, and without anger---if the child will respond to such correction.
I think time-outs are more for a parent to get an handle on themselves and think through the appropriate corrective measure. Punishment dealt in anger many times will hurt more than help.
Loss if privileges where effective is a wonderful tool. Some don't respond we'll to this, however.
A close friend of mine was having respect issues from her teen age son. One day she had enough, and took a suitcase and packed some clothes of his in it, placed it in the front hall, and demanded his presence. She informed him that he must take his case and leave the house until he could change his attitude and give her the respect due to his mother. That made a huge change in the lad, as he knew his dad would totally back his mom up when he returned home from his weekly work trip. This family has three teenagers, and one younger boy, and all are a real joy to be around.
God Bless and give wisdom to all you parents who truly care about the honor bestowed upon you to raise kids in today's world.
Cheers,
Tim
The Right to Keep and Bear Arms Shall NOT be Infringed
I like your approach to having expectations of certain chores, certain types of chores for extra cash, and certain types for corrective measures. Nice flow there.
Also, I totally agree with a well administered spanking when given justly, and without anger---if the child will respond to such correction.
I think time-outs are more for a parent to get an handle on themselves and think through the appropriate corrective measure. Punishment dealt in anger many times will hurt more than help.
Loss if privileges where effective is a wonderful tool. Some don't respond we'll to this, however.
A close friend of mine was having respect issues from her teen age son. One day she had enough, and took a suitcase and packed some clothes of his in it, placed it in the front hall, and demanded his presence. She informed him that he must take his case and leave the house until he could change his attitude and give her the respect due to his mother. That made a huge change in the lad, as he knew his dad would totally back his mom up when he returned home from his weekly work trip. This family has three teenagers, and one younger boy, and all are a real joy to be around.
God Bless and give wisdom to all you parents who truly care about the honor bestowed upon you to raise kids in today's world.
Cheers,
Tim
The Right to Keep and Bear Arms Shall NOT be Infringed
