Bear or Dude? Question answered.

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I normally would have something snarky to say ,but I'm going fishing in Alaska in two weeks and you know , krama and all so no, no I won't.
So a guy goes hunting in Alaska (stop me if you've heard this one).
He finds a good spot and waits. Suddenly he feels a tap on his shoulder, he turns around and a huge bear is right behind him.
"Oh fuck" he says "Please don't kill me" and the bear replies "Well I'll tell you what drop your pants bend over and let me fuck you and I'll let you go"
Guy thinks well I guess that's better than being mauled to death so he does it. The bear tears him a new one and lets him go. Guy returns home and vows next season he's gonna pay that bear back big time. A year goes by and he sets up in the same area waiting to get some revenge. Tap,tap,tap.
Fuck. "You know the routine" says the bear. Another year goes by and the hunter who is really peeved goes back swearing he will kill that bear. Suddenly he feels tapping on his shoulder and turns around. There's the same bear who says "You're not here for the hunting are you?"
 
So a guy goes hunting in Alaska (stop me if you've heard this one).
He finds a good spot and waits. Suddenly he feels a tap on his shoulder, he turns around and a huge bear is right behind him.
"Oh fuck" he says "Please don't kill me" and the bear replies "Well I'll tell you what drop your pants bend over and let me fuck you and I'll let you go"
Guy thinks well I guess that's better than being mauled to death so he does it. The bear tears him a new one and lets him go. Guy returns home and vows next season he's gonna pay that bear back big time. A year goes by and he sets up in the same area waiting to get some revenge. Tap,tap,tap.
Fuck. "You know the routine" says the bear. Another year goes by and the hunter who is really peeved goes back swearing he will kill that bear. Suddenly he feels tapping on his shoulder and turns around. There's the same bear who says "You're not here for the hunting are you?"
a couple of guys are out camping and in the middle of the night, a bear starts ransacking the camp site.
one of the dudes starts quickly putting his shoes on.
other dude laughs and says "you're not gonna out run the bear".
dude with the shoes on says "i don't have to".
 
So a guy goes hunting in Alaska (stop me if you've heard this one).
He finds a good spot and waits. Suddenly he feels a tap on his shoulder, he turns around and a huge bear is right behind him.
"Oh fuck" he says "Please don't kill me" and the bear replies "Well I'll tell you what drop your pants bend over and let me fuck you and I'll let you go"
Guy thinks well I guess that's better than being mauled to death so he does it. The bear tears him a new one and lets him go. Guy returns home and vows next season he's gonna pay that bear back big time. A year goes by and he sets up in the same area waiting to get some revenge. Tap,tap,tap.
Fuck. "You know the routine" says the bear. Another year goes by and the hunter who is really peeved goes back swearing he will kill that bear. Suddenly he feels tapping on his shoulder and turns around. There's the same bear who says "You're not here for the hunting are you?"
Bear and a rabbit are squatting beside each other, bear asked the rabbit if he had a problem with shit sticking to his fur, the rabbit thought for a second and said no??
Bear grabs the rabbit and wipes his ass with him...
 
Polar bear is a whole different scenario. It's said they can smell 20 miles, one doesn't hunt them, you are in fact, the bait, you simply set up and wait. Eskimos took strips of whale baleen (think spring steel) sharpened both ends, rolled it into a small ball and froze it inside whale blubber. They would feed them to polar bears, when they thawed out and the baleen sprung, it would slice open their guts, as they bled out over the next several day, they'd just follow the blood trail...