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I have a theory here… hear me out!

sirhrmechanic

sirhrmechanic

Command Sgt. Major
Full Member
Minuteman
Feb 23, 2010
38,229
150,550
The Snobbiest Town in The Snobbiest State in the N
#1

Bezos has finally decided that he wants a divorce from his nasty plastic catfish…. She is old and looks like she belongs in the bar scene from Star Wars.

But Bezos doesn’t want to give her a hundred billion.

So load her and Katy Perry and some CBS hose hound into a penis rocket… and it blows up in the stratosphere. Bonus points if you took out an insurance policy…

The public cheers the fact that Katy Perry has been turned into fish food… the press spends all their time making some tier-two reporter into a martyr of space travel…

And Bezos picks up a hot 25-year old who hasn’t spent her life getting Bondo and tuck treatments at the local Earl Scheib. And can suck start a Harley.

I mean… this makes way more sense to me than launching Josie and the Pussycats into space, right?

Who has a better theory?

Who wants to bet maple syrup that the rocket turns into an aluminum shower and ends up in a geo-stationary sub-aqueous orbit off Florida??? Takers?

Ba hahahah… Bezos is an evil genius. Oh, wait… I thought of it.

Ok… Off to start hollowing out my mountain and figuring out how to put laser beams on cats heads!

Sirhr
 
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#5
sirhrmechanic said:

Bezos has finally decided that he wants a divorce from his nasty plastic catfish…. She is old and looks like she belongs in the bar scene from Star Wars.

But Bezos doesn’t want to give her a hundred billion.

So load her and Katy Perry and some CBS hose hound into a penis rocket… and it blows up in the stratosphere. Bonus points if you took out an insurance policy…

The public cheers the fact that Katy Perry has been turned into fish food… the press spends all their time making some tier-two reporter into a martyr of space travel…

And Bezos picks up a hot 25-year old who hasn’t spent her life getting Bondo and tuck treatments at the local Earl Scheib. And can suck start a Harley.

I mean… this makes way more sense to me than launching Josie and the Pussycats into space, right?

Who has a better theory?

Who wants to bet maple syrup that the rocket turns into an aluminum shower and ends up in a geo-stationary sub-aqueous orbit off Florida??? Takers?

Ba hahahah… Bezos is an evil genius. Oh, wait… I thought of it.

Ok… Off to start hollowing out my mountain and figuring out how to put laser beams on cats heads!

Sirhr
Click to expand...

Laser beams are for sharks
 
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#6
502Chevelle said:
You have too much time on your hands to sit around and think this shit up. You need a hobby. Get back to the wood shop. If you figure out the laser thing call me. I might buy one or two.
Click to expand...

I’m making jerky today… and hollowing out mountain. See above ;-).
 
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#7
Untitled.jpg
 
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#14
I think you are on to something. He just fired a few thousand penis rocket employees the other day. This is a great way to get rid of a really shitty singer and a freaky girlfriend and shut down a shitty rocket company.

10 minute space rides is a carny trick. Sort of like riding a shitty submarine to the Titanic and getting squashed.
 
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#15
lonegunman762x51 said:
I think you are on to something. He just fired a few thousand penis rocket employees the other day. This is a great way to get rid of a really shitty singer and a freaky girlfriend and shut down a shitty rocket company.

10 minute space rides is a carny trick. Sort of like riding a shitty submarine to the Titanic and getting squashed.
Click to expand...

But Bezos landed and put astronaut wings on himself and was wearing an Omega Moon Watch.

Yeah, astronaut. Not. He was cargo.

Sirhr
 
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#17
How much space does he have in that unidentified phallic object? Plenty more useless ovary carriers that could go with them...

Is this the billionaire version of "unplanned" midair disembarkation from helicopters?
 
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#22
sirhrmechanic said:

Bezos has finally decided that he wants a divorce from his nasty plastic catfish…. She is old and looks like she belongs in the bar scene from Star Wars.

But Bezos doesn’t want to give her a hundred billion.

So load her and Katy Perry and some CBS hose hound into a penis rocket… and it blows up in the stratosphere. Bonus points if you took out an insurance policy…

The public cheers the fact that Katy Perry has been turned into fish food… the press spends all their time making some tier-two reporter into a martyr of space travel…

And Bezos picks up a hot 25-year old who hasn’t spent her life getting Bondo and tuck treatments at the local Earl Scheib. And can suck start a Harley.

I mean… this makes way more sense to me than launching Josie and the Pussycats into space, right?

Who has a better theory?

Who wants to bet maple syrup that the rocket turns into an aluminum shower and ends up in a geo-stationary sub-aqueous orbit off Florida??? Takers?

Ba hahahah… Bezos is an evil genius. Oh, wait… I thought of it.

Ok… Off to start hollowing out my mountain and figuring out how to put laser beams on cats heads!

Sirhr
Click to expand...
The easiest manner of achieving this goal, is to simply remove them from the sharks heads first. Isn't it obvious?

Otherwise, everything else you'd said above, is "bang-on". (pun intended)
 
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#23
lonegunman762x51 said:
I think you are on to something. He just fired a few thousand penis rocket employees the other day. This is a great way to get rid of a really shitty singer and a freaky girlfriend and shut down a shitty rocket company.

10 minute space rides is a carny trick. Sort of like riding a shitty submarine to the Titanic and getting squashed.
Click to expand...

232593 said:
Wasn’t there a thread about a sub that tried similar shit?

Space isn’t going to be any kinder than deep water.
Click to expand...

I already posted this today in the MVP thread, but it seems appropriate to place it here as an illustration.

1740776406920.jpeg


An enterprising meme artist would be good at placing a penis rocket in place of the sub. 😉
 
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#26
sirhrmechanic said:

Bezos has finally decided that he wants a divorce from his nasty plastic catfish…. She is old and looks like she belongs in the bar scene from Star Wars.

But Bezos doesn’t want to give her a hundred billion.

So load her and Katy Perry and some CBS hose hound into a penis rocket… and it blows up in the stratosphere. Bonus points if you took out an insurance policy…

The public cheers the fact that Katy Perry has been turned into fish food… the press spends all their time making some tier-two reporter into a martyr of space travel…

And Bezos picks up a hot 25-year old who hasn’t spent her life getting Bondo and tuck treatments at the local Earl Scheib. And can suck start a Harley.

I mean… this makes way more sense to me than launching Josie and the Pussycats into space, right?

Who has a better theory?

Who wants to bet maple syrup that the rocket turns into an aluminum shower and ends up in a geo-stationary sub-aqueous orbit off Florida??? Takers?

Ba hahahah… Bezos is an evil genius. Oh, wait… I thought of it.

Ok… Off to start hollowing out my mountain and figuring out how to put laser beams on cats heads!

Sirhr
Click to expand...
i guess a submarine trip was out of the question?
 
#38
sirhrmechanic said:

Bezos has finally decided that he wants a divorce from his nasty plastic catfish…. She is old and looks like she belongs in the bar scene from Star Wars.

But Bezos doesn’t want to give her a hundred billion.
Click to expand...

Bezos isn't married to her. They're only engaged. He could just dump her if he wanted rid of her.

 
#39
billt said:
Bezos isn't married to her. They're only engaged. He could just dump her if he wanted rid of her.

Click to expand...

Palimony… it’s real!

So just easier blow her up with the bonus of knocking off Katy Perry. Who has aged badly and had a voice like a stepped-on cat even in her prime…

He knows what he is doing!!! ;-)

Sirhr
 
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#40
sirhrmechanic said:
Palimony… it’s real!

So just easier blow her up with the bonus of knocking off Katy Perry. Who has aged badly and had a voice like a stepped-on cat even in her prime…

He knows what he is doing!!! ;-)

Sirhr
Click to expand...
That's how the woman got Charles Coburn years ago, palimony. Another case of Cali leading the way through stupidity.
I believe that was one of the first cases and led to more..
 
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#41
When I read this I threw up a little in my mouth.
"“She is honored to lead a team of explorers on a mission that will challenge their perspectives of Earth, empower them to share their own stories, and create lasting impact that will inspire generations to come,” the company said."

This makes me hate the whole company and all of the cunts riding the giant rocket penis. It's a fucking roller coaster ride for rich people. There is no point to any of it except their own gratification, and I'm quite sure those women will share the shit out of their own stories whether you care to sit through or not, no further empowerment required.
 
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#43
Fig said:
When I read this I threw up a little in my mouth.
"“She is honored to lead a team of explorers on a mission that will challenge their perspectives of Earth, empower them to share their own stories, and create lasting impact that will inspire generations to come,” the company said."

This makes me hate the whole company and all of the cunts riding the giant rocket penis. It's a fucking roller coaster ride for rich people. There is no point to any of it except their own gratification, and I'm quite sure those women will share the shit out of their own stories whether you care to sit through or not, no further empowerment required.
Click to expand...
More marketing and female empowerment crap. :rolleyes:
When their rocket ride blows up with them on it, in that last split second of life do you know what their last thought will be? " why didn't I stay in the kitchen making sammichs" 🤣
 
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