Holy Phuck balls. Maybe it’s me but it seems the last 5 guys I’ve met have all claimed to be NAVY SEALs. I’m not even asking, I’m not displaying ANY military stuff. They just come right up to me and it starts off.
Oh blah blah blah told me you were in the service. I just wanted to come over and tell you how I was a SEAL and I got blowed up so that’s why I’m 260lbs of man flab.
I’m like “yeah man, I served as a nothing, doing nothing, I just needed money for college”
Then I let them talk, oh how they talk. They talk about EVERYTHING name dropping names like I even know these people. Idk anyone. Like I said I didn’t do anything, anywhere for anyone.
I just tell them I pushed a muffin cart at the Naval Hospital
I usually thank them for their cervix then laugh about it with guys I know who were on the teams.
Here’s the rub, they guys I know who were 100% on the teams never talk to ME about anything and they don’t need to. I’ve heard a few stories about the training. Enough to know how to spot a fake.
I used to think it was a horrendous crime against our brothers who stood up, raised their hand and willingly sought that life. Turns out they are VP material not criminals.
If you are a stolen valor Phuck like VP hopeful Tim I hope you stub your pinky toe today, tomorrow and the next day.
Next SeAL I meet telling me silly stories I’m posting your pic online.
/rant
-Doc
Muffin cart master
Oh blah blah blah told me you were in the service. I just wanted to come over and tell you how I was a SEAL and I got blowed up so that’s why I’m 260lbs of man flab.
I’m like “yeah man, I served as a nothing, doing nothing, I just needed money for college”
Then I let them talk, oh how they talk. They talk about EVERYTHING name dropping names like I even know these people. Idk anyone. Like I said I didn’t do anything, anywhere for anyone.
I just tell them I pushed a muffin cart at the Naval Hospital
I usually thank them for their cervix then laugh about it with guys I know who were on the teams.
Here’s the rub, they guys I know who were 100% on the teams never talk to ME about anything and they don’t need to. I’ve heard a few stories about the training. Enough to know how to spot a fake.
I used to think it was a horrendous crime against our brothers who stood up, raised their hand and willingly sought that life. Turns out they are VP material not criminals.
If you are a stolen valor Phuck like VP hopeful Tim I hope you stub your pinky toe today, tomorrow and the next day.
Next SeAL I meet telling me silly stories I’m posting your pic online.
/rant
-Doc
Muffin cart master