Does your wife do shit like this?

[TheGerman]

Me - walking up the stairs after coming out of the gym in the house. My entire shirt, part of my shorts are coverned in sweat after today's running machine routine of 6 degrees at 7mph, 10 degrees at 6 mph and 8 degrees at 4.5mph, all while wearing a plate carrier....for 60 mins.

Her - Oh hey, I heard you were working out so I made you some vanilla and banana pudding. its sugar free.


What in the fuck? I didn't even know we had pudding.

 

[Threadcutter308]

Me - walking up the stairs after coming out of the gym in the house. My entire shirt, part of my shorts are coverned in sweat after today's running machine routine of 6 degrees at 7mph, 10 degrees at 6 mph and 8 degrees at 4.5mph, all while wearing a plate carrier....for 60 mins.

Her - Oh hey, I heard you were working out so I made you some vanilla and banana pudding. its sugar free.


What in the fuck? I didn't even know we had pudding.

lean
fucking
cuisine
???????
It is definitely NOT hangover food.......

 

[oneshot86]

tell her the only way you are eating the damn pudding is if you eat it off her stomach

 

[whatsupdoc]

WTF Sugar Free Pudding. She is trying to kill you.

 

[Zeroit]

Me - walking up the stairs after coming out of the gym in the house. My entire shirt, part of my shorts are coverned in sweat after today's running machine routine of 6 degrees at 7mph, 10 degrees at 6 mph and 8 degrees at 4.5mph, all while wearing a plate carrier....for 60 mins.

Her - Oh hey, I heard you were working out so I made you some vanilla and banana pudding. its sugar free.


What in the fuck? I didn't even know we had pudding.

You should have showed up naked and used the excuse your hearing is bad, oh I thought you wanted? You said something about pudding.

 

[TheGerman]

I don't know we even had pudding.

I can't remember the last time in my life that I ate pudding.

I'm not sure how she put together that I was working out with...lets make pudding.

Somehow sugar free made it ok in her mind.

All I know is that if I say anything she'll be all pissed at me. Now I have to somehow, systematically so it looks like I'm eating it, get rid of the pudding. Yet now I'm worried it'll make her think I want more post workout pudding in the future.

I'm so confused.

 

[jinxx4ever]

I don't know we even had pudding.

I can't remember the last time in my life that I ate pudding.

I'm not sure how she put together that I was working out with...lets make pudding.

Somehow sugar free made it ok in her mind.

All I know is that if I say anything she'll be all pissed at me. Now I have to somehow, systematically so it looks like I'm eating it, get rid of the pudding. Yet now I'm worried it'll make her think I want more post workout pudding in the future.

I'm so confused.

don't know how many years you've been married, but confusing you is part of their job

 

[armorpl8chikn]

 

[FatBoy]

Fuck its unless you're doing Keto, carb up. Just add some protein and take a nap.

But yes. I do my winter cut and all of the sudden there's two bags of cheetos on top of the fridge and moose tracks in the freezer.

 

[whatsupdoc]

 

[TheBigCountry]

Accidentally drop it on the floor when you take it out of the fridge. Oops, butterfingers

 

[RyanScott]

You need carbs for working out. Sugar isn’t the best of them though.

 

[TheBigCountry]

The worst one is when she gets on a cleaning binge and moves your shit you had out for a reason.

hey babe why did you move my shit

I was cleanng

well where did you put It

I don’t know I put it away somewhere

....really...

 

[Fig]

Banana pudding means the same thing all over the world...EXCEPT along the South Coast of the USA!

When they say “Banana Pudding“ they’re not talking about something that comes in a box. They’re talking about a custard like creation besotted with chess cookies that will make the angels weep.

 

[atepointer]

Swear I thougth the title read 'does your wife shit like this?' and I clicked anyway. I briefly dated a woman years ago who took 2 shits on consecutive days that ultimately broke my spirit. Man she gave great helmet though.

 

[FS1]

This thread smells funky

Gwyneth Paltrow's Goop is selling a vagina-scented candle, and it's already sold out

Gwyneth Paltrow has done it again, folks.

www.foxnews.com

 

[Fig]

Does that mean you ultimately married a woman who’s shit does not stink?

 

[theLBC]

"pudding" is code for PIITB.

 

[Hobo Hilton]

Bless her Heart.. If I'd have had one like that 50 years ago I may have not had to have that open heart bypass surgery.....You want to trade?

Hobo

 

[atepointer]

Does that mean you ultimately married a woman who’s shit does not stink?

No but the blowouts were something out of a horror movie it was more what a slob she was.....toilet bowl looked like a sprinkler went off in there. I don't even leave shit stains in the bowl I scrub it clean. She was a total slob

 

[SilentStalkr]

I don't know we even had pudding.

I can't remember the last time in my life that I ate pudding.

I'm not sure how she put together that I was working out with...lets make pudding.

Somehow sugar free made it ok in her mind.

All I know is that if I say anything she'll be all pissed at me. Now I have to somehow, systematically so it looks like I'm eating it, get rid of the pudding. Yet now I'm worried it'll make her think I want more post workout pudding in the future.

I'm so confused.

Better have someone or a dog taste test it for you first. Have you made any life insurance changes lately? You sure she didn’t take out another policy on you? ??

 

[Threadcutter308]

Me - walking up the stairs after coming out of the gym in the house. My entire shirt, part of my shorts are coverned in sweat after today's running machine routine of 6 degrees at 7mph, 10 degrees at 6 mph and 8 degrees at 4.5mph, all while wearing a plate carrier....for 60 mins.

Her - Oh hey, I heard you were working out so I made you some vanilla and banana pudding. its sugar free.


What in the fuck? I didn't even know we had pudding.

You didn’t have any idea where this thread was gonna go when OP’d it, did you ? ?

 

[Threadcutter308]

don't know how many years you've been married, but confusing you is part of their job

How ‘bout asking her a question that deserves a simple yes or no answer.

It is not physiologically possible. Ever.

 

[Blutroop]

I’d rather back you up in a firefight then try and armchair quarterback that one.

 

[Threadcutter308]

I don't know we even had pudding.

I can't remember the last time in my life that I ate pudding.

I'm not sure how she put together that I was working out with...lets make pudding.

Somehow sugar free made it ok in her mind.

All I know is that if I say anything she'll be all pissed at me. Now I have to somehow, systematically so it looks like I'm eating it, get rid of the pudding. Yet now I'm worried it'll make her think I want more post workout pudding in the future.

I'm so confused.

Just go ahead and tell her how you really feel. It’ll be fine.

 

[--BLACKOUT--]

My wife does shit like... I ordered pizza, wings, garlic bread and a 2 liter soda cuz I didn't feel like cooking today... after I bust my ass in the garage gym. I'm like... fuck! had I known that, I would've just started drinking when I got home.?


Fuck it, let's eat!

 

[alpine44]

Me - walking up the stairs after coming out of the gym in the house. My entire shirt, part of my shorts are coverned in sweat after today's running machine routine of 6 degrees at 7mph, 10 degrees at 6 mph and 8 degrees at 4.5mph, all while wearing a plate carrier....for 60 mins.

Her - Oh hey, I heard you were working out so I made you some vanilla and banana pudding. its sugar free.


What in the fuck? I didn't even know we had pudding.

Some artificial sweeteners still spike insulin, which can push you into Hypoglycemia (too low blood sugar) if you have worked out hard with little caloric replenishment.

You know the saying "Wer nicht arbeited soll wenigstens gut essen" (who does not work shall at least eat well), which definitely means that if you work hard you need to eat something your body can burn.

I plan long hikes like trips with car, boat, or airplane. How much fuel do I need to get from A to B? Our body is an engine that runs on food. F' the low calorie junk if you want to get some work done or cover some distance. Anything under 300 cal per 100 gram is not worth packing IMO.

A great German (primarily Bavarian) custom is "Brotzeit", another meal between breakfast and lunch when you burn the most calories during the course of the day.

It took me years to get my wife out of her American habit of serving a little snack for lunch and half a cow for dinner. That does not make any physiological sense.

 

[Jscb1b]

Your fucked. Eat it, she makes more. Don't eat it, your an asshole. "AccidentLEE stumble and drop it.

 

[Bigfatcock]

You should have told her you need a blowjob, not pudding. Unless pudding is a code word for fucking.

 

[candyx]

No way does my wife use sugar free pudding, it better have sugar in it or else. Tomorrow is promised to no one so I enjoy everyday I wake up for you never know when you won't. I'll have plenty of time to diet when they put me in that box under the grass until then I eat everything I see including food.

 

[Ric O'shay]

Just tell her pudding is for the poor's and you prefer a nice creme fraiche.

 

[7.62willdo]

You just don’t understand woman logic....
Working out = getting in shape so you can cheat..
Pudding = fattening you up so no woman wants you.

See it’s logic.

 

[armorpl8chikn]

All I know is that if I say anything she'll be all pissed at me. Now I have to somehow, systematically so it looks like I'm eating it, get rid of the pudding. Yet now I'm worried it'll make her think I want more post workout pudding in the future.

I'm so confused.

A story if I may....
When my late wife and I were dating, she decided she would cook me a strawberry rhubarb pie. She was a phenomenal cook, the pie was....delicious, if you like rhubarb and cooked strawberries. If you cook a strawberry, I won't eat it....it's absolutely a texture thing.

I ate my piece of rhubarb pie, cause I didn't have the heart to tell her the truth. That first pie got shoved to the back of the fridge, and only after it bacame a science project, did she discover it. I will confirm nor deny, that I hid the pie, but I dug my hole deeper.
"Oh fiddlesticks! This pie went bad."

Naturally I put on an act of how disappointed I was, "That pie was delicious. It's a shame."
Lucky for me, rhubarb season was over.

For ten years I ate my requisite piece of strawberry rhubarb pie every year when the rhubarb was ready.
I had let it go far too long....
Finally that year, I told her, "Honey, I've never been a fan of strawberry rhubarb."
She didn't talk to me for about an hour.

 

[2aBaC̶a̶]

The way I see it you have 2 options.

1) Tell her no thanks, you're watching your figure.

2) Taste it and then make a disgusted face and tell her "I don't know what the fuck this is but it ain't pudding" now get back in the kitchen and make some real pudding.

 

[Jscb1b]

A story if I may....
When my late wife and I were dating, she decided she would cook me a strawberry rhubarb pie. She was a phenomenal cook, the pie was....delicious, if you like rhubarb and cooked strawberries. If you cook a strawberry, I won't eat it....it's absolutely a texture thing.

I ate my piece of rhubarb pie, cause I didn't have the heart to tell her the truth. That first pie got shoved to the back of the fridge, and only after it bacame a science project, did she discover it. I will confirm nor deny, that I hid the pie, but I dug my hole deeper.
"Oh fiddlesticks! This pie went bad."

Naturally I put on an act of how disappointed I was, "That pie was delicious. It's a shame."
Lucky for me, rhubarb season was over.

For ten years I ate my requisite piece of strawberry rhubarb pie every year when the rhubarb was ready.
I had let it go far too long....
Finally that year, I told her, "Honey, I've never been a fan of strawberry rhubarb."
She didn't talk to me for about an hour.

Best hour of your life?

 

[armorpl8chikn]

Best hour of your life?

Nope, not even close.

 

[Jscb1b]

I understand. I know I pissed my wife off when I get the cold shoulder. If we are talking or even yelling at me, I have a chance.

 

[Snipe260]

No! Unfortunately not!

 

[powdahound76]

hmmmm..

I think having your wife make you something after you have been working out is just cool. Pudding? meh. But if momma made me a snack after a nice long run, I wouldn't say anything but Thanks.
If it sucks, let her know. If its good, eat it.

I eat a lot of sugar free stuff. usually with no sugar (only natural stuff from fruit and what's in the dairy).

Its weird, but it is really worth worrying this much about?

 

[seansmd]

Check for poison?

 

[rjacobs]

My mom told my wife last week or so that she was making sugar free pudding for her and my dad... I texted my dad asking "hows the sugar free pudding?" and all I got back was a middle finger emoji...

 

[Rthur]

This went a completely different direction that I though by the thread title...
BTW only poors eat pudding.


R

 

[Maser]

Stay away from sugar substitutes unless you like having the perpetual runs all day!

 

[shoot4fun]

Sorry, can't figure out the purpose of this thread.
Are you complaining about your wife or bragging (in the stealth mode most men use to do so)?
Or, maybe more toward the truth, just bragging about your he-man workout?
It's the last part that really threw me. Any real MAN worth his penis would KNOW just exactly what kinda goodies are in the cupboard.
HAHAHAHAHAHAHA
PS
Did you eat the pudding?

 

[Supersubes]

That’s better than her telling you to take out the trash.

 

[2aBaC̶a̶]

Sorry, can't figure out the purpose of this thread.
Are you complaining about your wife or bragging (in the stealth mode most men use to do so)?
Or, maybe more toward the truth, just bragging about your he-man workout?
It's the last part that really threw me. Any real MAN worth his penis would KNOW just exactly what kinda goodies are in the cupboard.
HAHAHAHAHAHAHA
PS
Did you eat the pudding?

All of the above.

 

[DarnYankeeUSMC]

Maybe I misunderstood?

You would have eaten the pudding days ago if you knew it was in the house?

 

[Maggot]

Banana pudding means the same thing all over the world...EXCEPT along the South Coast of the USA!

When they say “Banana Pudding“ they’re not talking about something that comes in a box. They’re talking about a custard like creation besotted with chess cookies that will make the angels weep.

You got that shit right, homey. When a kid Ive been known to eat a whole casserole of the shit. Eat til youre sick. ? Then there is Key Lime Pie...

 

[Maggot]

This thread smells funky

Gwyneth Paltrow's Goop is selling a vagina-scented candle, and it's already sold out

Gwyneth Paltrow has done it again, folks.

www.foxnews.com

So it smells like fish???

 

[TheGerman]

That’s better than her telling you to take out the trash.

She doesn't even do that.

She'll fill up the main, oversized trash can we have and then start filling plastic bags, tieing them off, putting them down by the trash can and then starts filling another one up.