Hunting & Fishing Funny Hunting Stories

[pbatesaz]

Thought it might be fun to relate some humorous stories from hunting adventures.
I recall a handgun javenlina hunt in Arizona when a friend of my son thought he made a great shot on one that was pretty far away. He made a humane kill on a javelina that was probably a week old and weighed about 3 lbs. it made a nice desk ornament anyway.

 

[mountainman308]

Dove hunting over knee high grass in central VA. Me, two buddies, and my dog. Having a fairly good day, with 7 doves between us after 2 hours or so. A pair come overhead, outbound. Buddy 1 pops one and I get the other. While the dog is searching for the first one, we watch a bright red bushy tail held aloft charge through the grass to where the second bird went down. It pauses briefly, then dashes to the far corner of the field, where it stops to turn and look at us, gray and white feathers in its mouth. Little bastard came back the next time we went out too. The fox was spared, at the request of the landowner's granddaughter, and I'm sure roams free to this day, gloating to its friends about that one time it got the better of us.

 

[Alabusa]

One cold December morning, I am sitting about 35 feet up a poplar tree deer hunting. About 8:30 that morning, I see another hunter coming up the hollow toward me. He comes all the way to my tree and squats. Having not ever looked up, he didnt know I was in the tree he decides to take a shit beside.

I holler down and ask what he thinks he is doing? His reply......"you know how it is, when you gotta go, you gotta go."
My .morning sit ended on that sour note.

 

[pbatesaz]

A friend and I decided that we would go coyote hunting, neither of us having any prior experience in this endeavor. We set out after work on a Friday evening and set up camp in the desert, fixed a basic meal and sat around our small campfire as the sun went down over the mountains to the west. Enjoying the desert sounds we commenced to indulge in some adult beverages and discuss life. After drinking a little while we thought we should practice with our dying rabbit calls just to be ready for the next days hunt. After about 10 minutes sure as hell a coyote came crashing through camp between us and our fire. Scared the living crap out of us as we fell out of our chairs. We were lucky it wasn’t a mountain lion. Never saw another coyote on that outing.

 

[556ARs]

Not very funny at the time, but looking back on it, we both get a laugh.

A buddy and I went to Alaska to hunt moose and caribou on our own. The outfitter flew us out to a small pond, dropped us off and then would fly over us every couple of days to see if we had something in camp. I had shot a really nice caribou the first day and after not seeing anything for the next couple of days, we where moved to another area that was better for moose. Seems like the caribou wondered off and there wasn't any point waiting for them to come back.

This new spot was in a much more hilly area with ridges going every which way. We where glassing from the ridge tops looking for moose without much luck until late in the evening. There where two large bulls fighting in a clearing about a mile away. It was thick pines all the way there, but we figure that would be great for us to sneak through to get there. By the time we got to where we thought the moose where, they where long gone and it was getting dark.

We headed back to the ridge we had been glassing from, which was also just above where our camp was set up. When we got there, it was dark out. When looking down the other side, we knew right away that the pond next to our camp was not the pond we where looking at. The question was which way where we off? A funny thing about Alaska is that a compass is almost worthless. Same thing with watching the sun, it rises and sets in almost the same place!!!!! We decided to try going left. While walking, my flashlight bulb burned out, so we just had the one flashlight. This proved to be more of a challenge then we had expected, but after several hours, we got to where we could see down into the next draw and see that the pond down there wasn't it either.

by now it was after midnight, we where both wore out and clueless where camp was. We started a fire and settled in for the night. Since we had been hiking in hip boots, our socks where soaking wet. We took them off and set them around the fire to dry off. Sometime after that I woke up to my buddy screaming FIRE as our socks burned up. Nothing to do but go back to sleep and wait for sunrise.

Once we could see, we realized that we where one draw away from our camp. The hike was terrible without socks, but we lived. After a good breakfast, we went back out looking for moose, but only saw cows and small ones. We did have one very young bull walk down the trail in front of us and we had to get off the trail as he passed. I didn't try, but I was close enough to touch him. Not sure if he was so into the rut that he didn't care, or he just didn't care because he had never seen humans before. Either way, it was one of those things that only happen when out hunting that only those who have been there will understand.

 

[pbatesaz]

Here comes another one. This happened to my son and grandson last weeken on an elk hunt in northern Arizona. As you may know, we got smacked with a half a year worth of rain and snow in a couple of days at Thanksgiving. The roads north were closed due to a foot + of snow, including I-17.

My grandson had the elk tag and my son was guiding him. On Friday they had to camp at Camp Verde, south of the hunt unit and hiked in as far as they could, seeing only a small herd of (elk) cows. The next day they managed to get up the freeway to exit at a forest service road into the hunt unit. My son’s 4wd F-150 did fine through the foot ddep snow and rutted road. They hunted until exhausted, then headed back to the truck parked along the forest road. My son was amazed to see passenger cars one after another trying to make their way along the forest road and was flagged down by one lady in a Prius! She wanted to know if she could make it through to Flagstaff OK. His answer was “NO. You need to turn around and I don’t even know if you can do that, but you need to.” A little further on towards the freeway he stopped to talk with a fellow who was watching his granddaughter play in the snow. The guy said “It’s a good thing you weren’t trying to go the other way. There is a hell of a lot of stuck vehicles blocking the road up there.” My son opined that he couldn’t understand why anyone in a passenger car would try the road in the existing conditions. The fellow he was talking with told him it was because Google was telling everyone that the freeway was closed and they should use the forest road as an alternate!

Oh, on the last day just as they were getting ready to give up and head back to Phoenix, my grandson killed his first bull elk... with my 6.5 CM at 40 yards... took about 10 steps and dropped.

 

[45.308]

A bear hunt 83, fly in and saw a few bears on the way in, landed on a sand bar and set up camp. We suffered up the hillside, on hands and knees through some alders. Up high in the open and the warm spring sun, we found a patch of grass and took a rest. Woke up hours later, looked up the hill, gianormpous bear prints in the snow less than 100 feet above us.

 

[Lawnboi]

Got charged by a skunk with his back to a cliff dropping my pants to shit this year... that was interesting

 

[coldboremiracle]

"The morning was damp from overnight rain, a muggy feeling as I rolled out of bed this morning. An early workday, and I was not feeling it yet. I stumbled down the stairs toward the kitchen, and turned on the light. The silence of the early morning surrounded me. As I sat there in a sleepy stupor, thinking about the day’s events. I was startled, by the sound of a grocery sack rustling across the room. For a moment, I thought I saw a shadow of movement near bye. I went about the business of making my breakfast when from the corner of my eye, I saw him. In the blink of an eye, a small dark shadow shot across the kitchen floor. My jaw clenched as I wrapped my still cloudy mind around the situation. "


Keep reading Mouse Hunting

 

[tcole75]

My first time shooting a 300 rum.
Well backstory I was about 11 years old hunting with my dad. I had my trusted 243 glassing up on a hilltop.

We spotted a very nice buck about a mile away. My dad told me to leave my gun and just use his 300 rum in case we had to make a far shot. I was hesitant I didn't want to shoot that gun.

Well we started stalking to this deer and got within 75 yards. So much for a far shot. This is the biggest buck I've ever had a shot on. I'm excited and dreading shooting this 300 rum.

Anyways I get braced up on a fence had a good sight picture and made the great decision to pull the gun about an inch from shoulder thinking that would help... I was wrong. I pulled the trigger and got hit by Zeuss himself.

That gun knocked my ass straight into the dirt. I dropped the rifle cant breath. My dad is laughing his ass off even thou I dropped his gun. I attempt to ask did i get him. I got the response in between my dads laughter nope.

Lesson learned that day put the damn gun tight into your shoulder and dont be afraid of it.

 

[Faronth]

This is a hunting story my grandfather told me when I was a barely a teenager aka ~ 40 years ago. He was a bit of a hell raiser as a child and young man (that’s an understatement by a far cry). Anyway when my grandfather was nine or ten years old he lived in small farming town in Illinois. One day he snuck over to his grandparents’ house, who were not home at the time and figured he was man enough to go hunting by himself. Better yet he thought I will take my grandfather’s double 12g, and on top of that he decided to take a big chaw of his grandfather’s favorite tobacco in his cheek and go find some pheasant. You can see where this is heading.

So out he went and sure enough he stumbled upon a bird that got up right in front of him. He hauled that double up and accidentally fired both barrels at the same time. The recoil slammed the gun up into his face and as he fell backward and hit the ground he swallowed every bit of that big chaw of tobacco. He did not get the bird but as he walked back to the house with the now in-residence grandparents, he had two good black eyes and was turning blue and getting sick as a dog from the tobacco. He was not feelin quite the man he thought he was at the beginning of this debacle. Trouble does not adequately describe his punishment for his hunting trip.

By the time my grandfather got to the end of telling his story he was laughing so hard he had tears in his eyes. It was a great memory from his youth and him telling me is one of my favorite memories of him.

 

[xdeano]

I had a good friend tell me a story a couple years ago. So to preface this story, the location was western ND, deer season, so its cold as hell and a there was a pile of snow. Hes wearing bib coveralls and a heavy coat.

So hes hiking the hills for the better part of a day. When all of a sudden he's gotta go. Not just a feeling, but hes gotta go NOW! So he finds a tree, pulls off his insulated bibs and does his business while leaning against the tree. He uses his shirt sleeves to clean up and. Gets up to go, pulls up his pants, tucks in his shirt, tightens his belt. Then goes for his insulated bibs, he grabs the suspenders and pulls the left up over his shoulder, then he grabs the right side and pulls it up over his shoulders, his hand slides through and smears a pile of shit all over this hand and shoulder. Now hes got shit all over his right hand, shoulder strap and shirt and hes miles from the truck. So he uses the snow to get most of the shit off his hands and starts trudging back to the truck. The hunt is done for the day.

Ive got another buddy that was out in MT on a camp trip. He just goes out there by himself and spikes out in the middle of nowhere. Hes been in the bush for a week and hes thinking that it might be time to clean up a bit in the creek. So hes in the creek bare ads naked when up and over a hill comes 2 forest service employees on horseback. There he is a bit cold and wet. He says that that one was a female and he just stands in the creek looks up at the two with his hands over his bits and says, "sorry, the waters a bit cool". He said that got out of the water and grabbed his hat and talked with them a few more minutes before they headed on their way.

Deano

 

[powdahound76]

Perhaps @Claymorx would like to weigh in about a little hill we climbed once that had a snow covered cliff band at the top to find a way up.......

Or the trip up a small creek drainage that involved several hundred feet vertical climbing of ice, frozen mud, and frost covered downed logs (bare of any bark, so super slick) all on a day where one could barely feel their toes in the AM.....

And thats just 2 days of one trip!

He can add details of how much he loved it if he wants...... ????

 

[Claymorx]

Perhaps @Claymorx would like to weigh in about a little hill we climbed once that had a snow covered cliff band at the top to find a way up.......

Or the trip up a small creek drainage that involved several hundred feet vertical climbing of ice, frozen mud, and frost covered downed logs (bare of any bark, so super slick) all on a day where one could barely feel their toes in the AM.....

And thats just 2 days of one trip!

He can add details of how much he loved it if he wants...... ????

If I remember correctly it was 13 degrees and the snow was thigh deep. My boots decided they had enough and started leaking. And we got our plyometric workout out in by vaulting over the most insane dead fall I've ever seen. To top it all off we got slap happy, and bitched so loud about the dead fall that we blew out 2 elk that we probably could have popped in their bed. Oh yeah, I also found out you don't like spam. The coffee was good though.

 

[powdahound76]

@Claymorx

it was 3F. My left big toe remembered for about 6 weeks.......

Spam sucks.

i think the deadfall hopping boosted that bull. Or the hate in my heart about that morning and my numb toes.
The coffee in the sun fresh made was good.