While in between real careers I grew up cooking in New Orleans and went on to work in some nice places by accident. I also earned extra money working at Williams Sonoma concentrating on selling cookware and cutlery. The gay guys handled the linens and coffee makers
I presently have Henckels simply because that was the first good knife my mother bought me 20+ yrs ago, but in getting to play with most of the good ones, I feel that the Wusthoffs may be slightly better. As has been mentioned, the Shun knives are quite simply incredible.
As with guns, you need to decide what you're intended use/s is and where you want to spend your money (and how much you're willing to spend). The sets are nice, but in many cases you end up paying for a bunch of shit you don't need or won't use. You also need to evaluate your skill level with kitchen cutlery. The Henckels blade design, especially in their larger Chef's knives, is easier for beginners to use because the overall blade contour is straighter from the bolster/heel to the tip. This allows better control of the tip of the knife and feels "easier to use" for many people, especially in the bigger knives. Wusthoff uses a much deeper curvature in the blade from heel to tip which I now prefer, but can be harder to control when you're starting out. The blades also seem to be a bit thinner in the Wusthoffs, which I've also come to prefer over the Henckels. You'll notice the difference when cutting carrots or raw potatoes, where a thinner blade slices through and the thicker blade acts more as a wedge and splits the item.
I never bought a set, but rather selected individual knives as I had the use for them. One knife I can't speak highly enough of is the Santoku. It is an absolute work horse of a knife in the kitchen and I found myself reaching for it more than my 8" Chefs most of the time.
You're absolutely right about some of the companies producing lesser grades for the consumer market. A quick reference on the Henckels is to look at the logo of the stick man on their knives. Their pro-quality knives have 2 little men, the cheaper ones have only one. The cheaper models also typically won't have a bolster at the heel, whereas with Henckels their higher end knives do.
Weight and balance is the biggest thing in a knife you're going to use constantly, so I'd highly recommend finding an upscale shop where you can lay hands on them and feel the difference between full and partial tang designs, riveted versus molded handles, etc. Keep in mind that when properly gripping a Chef's knife, you're not holding the handle anyway, but gripping the heel of the blade between thumb and fore finger.
Again, figure out what you're going to use the knives for most of the time and figure out if there's a set that hits your need, or if you're better off selecting individual pieces. In some cases you may find that one company's Chef's knife is what you want, but the other company's pairing knife or boning knife fits your needs better.
It's been quite a few years since I made a living with my knives, and some companies, like Shun, have really introduced some beautiful products in those years that I've gotten to play with but not use professionally. The ceramics are garbage for anything other than a novelty. They can't be sharpened, and will break if dropped on a tile floor. ALL of my knives have hit a tile floor at least a dozen times. One of the chefs I worked with switched completely over to Global knives (from his Wusthoff) and swears by them. As I said, win major suck-ass points with your wife and ask if she'd like to go to the mall. Find the high-end kitchen store (not a department store) and get a feel for as many different knives as you can. Then, do NOT buy from said store, but go home and find a deal at any number of places online.
Once you've got them, the trick is keeping the wife from throwing them in a dishwasher while you're not looking. Good knives NEVER go in dishwashers, EVER. Except maybe for..........NEVER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Hope that helps as a super down and dirty knife 101 from a guy who hasn't messed with it in over a decade. If by some miracle I may be able to help you out, feel free to shoot me a PM.