I blame corona virus and the shots

[Texasflyer]

I got off work kinda early today. When i get off i go and check on my mother and make she is ok before going home. I show up to her house and the doors are locked, her truck is there and another truck is there. I knock and get no answer, not even the dog barking. I kinda start to freak out a little, what if something happened and they had to rush her to the hospital or something. I tried calling 3 times with no answer just voice mail. At this point there isnt anything i can do, im thinking about the vaccine and her recent battle with cancer and im worried. As im about to leave i notice her room window shade is up for the dog to look out of, and for some reason i decided to look in just to make sure... i dont know... it was a dumb idea. As i peek in... i get an eye full of her boyfriends naked torso... i spun and ran... im almost 40 and never saw my mother naked, we knock in my family. This was a close call, and i blame covid. The very first time i get to meet her boyfriend and we have this akward... im not gonna shake your hand cause i know you were bangin my mom moment, not in a rude way... just not sure if he washed his hands....

 

[Expert684]

That's funny , but not. Ya might need some eye wash for that!

 

[Texasflyer]

That's funny , but not. Ya might need some eye wash for that!

When i was married my ex wife had 3 kids from a previous marriage. 13, 11 and 6. The two oldest were boys and the little one was a girl.. obviously. Anyways her mom was having that time of the month, and i dont really care.. im a warrior. So we go to the bathroom and are having relations and before i know it the door opens... i have a good imagination... i can only imagine what haunts that little girls dreams. We hop up because she is screaming get off my mom and.... blood is everywhere of course... and i cant help but laugh but until today i had no refrence for that kinda thing other than the flip side. Life is hilarious. You just gotta laugh and compartmentalize the bad shit.

 

[HiDesertELR]

Ignore and override. Drink heavily. Repeat.

 

[ColinW]

When i was married my ex wife had 3 kids from a previous marriage. 13, 11 and 6. The two oldest were boys and the little one was a girl.. obviously. Anyways her mom was having that time of the month, and i dont really care.. im a warrior. So we go to the bathroom and are having relations and before i know it the door opens... i have a good imagination... i can only imagine what haunts that little girls dreams. We hop up because she is screaming get off my mom and.... blood is everywhere of course... and i cant help but laugh but until today i had no refrence for that kinda thing other than the flip side. Life is hilarious. You just gotta laugh and compartmentalize the bad shit.

Dude....Why were you banging your ex wife during her period? That's not normally how or when its done...

 

[Alphatreedog]

Was makin whoopee with da Misses when our bedroom door busts open and in pops my 11yr old son at the time . He yells " What the Hell " .
" I know what you guys are doin " . Then proceeds to ask me " is your heart healthy enough for sex " ? Almost pissed myself laughin .

 

[10ring'r]

When i was married my ex wife had 3 kids from a previous marriage. 13, 11 and 6. The two oldest were boys and the little one was a girl.. obviously. Anyways her mom was having that time of the month, and i dont really care.. im a warrior. So we go to the bathroom and are having relations and before i know it the door opens... i have a good imagination... i can only imagine what haunts that little girls dreams. We hop up because she is screaming get off my mom and.... blood is everywhere of course... and i cant help but laugh but until today i had no refrence for that kinda thing other than the flip side. Life is hilarious. You just gotta laugh and compartmentalize the bad shit.

Thanks very much for that damn mental picture! F! I'm going to have to drink tonight just to get that scene out of my F'n head! Mac

 

[LuvDog]

This thread has so much potential

 

[Jscb1b]

Did you get pictures of your mom for MILF Monday?

 

[redneckbmxer24]

Sorry, I knocked your moms hip out and was fetching my robe to come to the door.

Were you impressed by what you saw though?

 

[Tchitcherine]

Pics or it didn't happen.

 

[Snipe260]

Pics or it didn't happen.

He was too busy Fapping to take pics! Sick bastid!

 

[DarnYankeeUSMC]

My youngest daughter has ESP. From an early age she would cry to be fed, changed or something. As she grew up she would come into the bedroom because of a bad dream or just couldn't sleep. Teen years she would be out with friends and decide to just come home. Now as an adult she just drops by unannounced. One Saturday morning the woman and I showered together and when we got out of the shower we could hear the TV. Get dressed and walk into the den and she's sitting there watching TV.

 

[The D]

This has all the makings of an epic thread

Up until a few months ago my oldest(4) didn’t stay in bed for shit, always migrating into our bed to sleep. We were in the middle of a week-long stretch that he was staying in bed so we thought it would be safe to do “it”. Wrong. Just as we’re wrapping everything up he opens the door and comes around to her side of the bed and asks what I’m doing to mommy. And like every father from the first time this question was asked I told him I was keeping mommy warm. Thankfully my wife was able to convince him to go back to bed so he didn’t see us cleaning up and getting dressed

 

[Flyingbullseye]

Blame the shots and or the quarantine all you want but your mom just wanted to get her freak on. But the memories will scar you for life.

 

[Snipe260]

This has all the makings of an epic thread

Up until a few months ago my oldest(4) didn’t stay in bed for shit, always migrating into our bed to sleep. We were in the middle of a week-long stretch that he was staying in bed so we thought it would be safe to do “it”. Wrong. Just as we’re wrapping everything up he opens the door and comes around to her side of the bed and asks what I’m doing to mommy. And like every father from the first time this question was asked I told him I was keeping mommy warm. Thankfully my wife was able to convince him to go back to bed so he didn’t see us cleaning up and getting dressed

It would have been funny if he had ask, then what’s that shit dripping off mommies chin?

 

[acudaowner]

not too far off I took to blaming pro communists for my reason to stop paying the cable , I lol really did not need any more reasons but it felt right if not for 24 7 pro communist news coverage and pro communist tv commercials paid for my pro communist companies trying to take away my rights , and my pursuit of happiness . I might still be paying for a cable service that acts like they deserve to raise my rates for crappy shows that have 10 commercials per 5 min of show .
maybe I should be thanking them for that at least it's almost 200 per month that I can now add to the kitty for ammo , powder and primers .

 

[pmclaine]

So it was her second injection of the week?

 

[Jscb1b]

So it was her second injection of the week?

How many boyfriends does she have?

 

[Jscb1b]

Where is BFC?

 

[Choid]

You know what I would do if I were you, after finally finding out that my mom wasn't a virgin. I'd get drunk, talk real loud and then start a thread about that too.

 

[jbell]

The very first time i get to meet her boyfriend and we have this akward... im not gonna shake your hand cause i know you were bangin my mom moment, not in a rude way... just not sure if he washed his hands....

Damn man I would just open with the story whenever you get to meet him. It will be a real good way to see what he is made of, and hell of funny for you!

 

[wildcats]

Did you get pictures of your mom for MILF Monday?

Damn!...over

 

[Josh1978]

My wife and I had been married a short time. We were in the basement cleaning and the mood struck. There was an old desk in the corner and I decided that would work fine. So we commence to getting down and all of a sudden we hear footsteps upstairs. I quickly put my pants on and rush up the steps to see who is in our house. I greet my mother and father in our living room. I had given them a key to my house in the event that I lost mine or something. My mom saw both cars in the driveway but the front door was locked so she decided to just let herself in. My wife had a lengthy discussion about what that key was for and she shouldn’t just let herself in whenever she wants. LOL

 

[theLBC]

 

[GrumpyOleFart]

I got off work kinda early today. When i get off i go and check on my mother and make she is ok before going home. I show up to her house and the doors are locked, her truck is there and another truck is there. I knock and get no answer, not even the dog barking. I kinda start to freak out a little, what if something happened and they had to rush her to the hospital or something. I tried calling 3 times with no answer just voice mail. At this point there isnt anything i can do, im thinking about the vaccine and her recent battle with cancer and im worried. As im about to leave i notice her room window shade is up for the dog to look out of, and for some reason i decided to look in just to make sure... i dont know... it was a dumb idea. As i peek in... i get an eye full of her boyfriends naked torso... i spun and ran... im almost 40 and never saw my mother naked, we knock in my family. This was a close call, and i blame covid. The very first time i get to meet her boyfriend and we have this akward... im not gonna shake your hand cause i know you were bangin my mom moment, not in a rude way... just not sure if he washed his hands....

Did they have some good moves?

 

[Snipe260]

Well. It’s better than walking in on your dad fucking your grandmother!

 

[ColinW]

As a new father, this thread has inspired me to put a deadbolt lock on my bedroom door for safety and mental well-being of my son to keep him out.

 

[E. Bryant]

 

[Maggot]

I didnt read the OP or any other posts in this thread. I you need to know is

Its Trumps Fault!!!

 

[Jscb1b]

Well. It’s better than walking in on your dad fucking your grandmother!

Alabama?

 

[Jscb1b]

Well. It’s better than walking in on your dad fucking your grandmother!

Or the funeral home?

 

[myronman3]

it’s amazing to me, that people react the way they do. i mean, you are walking talking proof she knows how to take the shlong. as are we all.

 

[GrumpyOleFart]

Though some men look at their offspring, and regret not stopping at the blowjob.

 

[Bigfatcock]

Where is BFC?

I was banging someone’s mom today, when some weirdo looked in the window...

 

[GrumpyOleFart]

More than one were watching... hacking security cameras is a very amusing pastime.

 

[Aftermath]

maybe I should be thanking them for that at least it's almost 200 per month that I can now add to the kitty for ammo , powder and primers .

So, now you can buy about 3 rounds!

 

[The King]

I got off work kinda early today. When i get off i go and check on my mother and make she is ok before going home. I show up to her house and the doors are locked, her truck is there and another truck is there. I knock and get no answer, not even the dog barking. I kinda start to freak out a little, what if something happened and they had to rush her to the hospital or something. I tried calling 3 times with no answer just voice mail. At this point there isnt anything i can do, im thinking about the vaccine and her recent battle with cancer and im worried. As im about to leave i notice her room window shade is up for the dog to look out of, and for some reason i decided to look in just to make sure... i dont know... it was a dumb idea. As i peek in... i get an eye full of her boyfriends naked torso... i spun and ran... im almost 40 and never saw my mother naked, we knock in my family. This was a close call, and i blame covid. The very first time i get to meet her boyfriend and we have this akward... im not gonna shake your hand cause i know you were bangin my mom moment, not in a rude way... just not sure if he washed his hands....

Please. I need you to run this man down right now and pass him a message from all of us.

Write it only on a 3x5 note card that says “900m, 5.7 MILS” on the top line.

On the second line write “1000m, WE MISS YOU SHANKSTER!!!”

 

[Texasflyer]

Wow... this freakin blew up.... lol. Glad i could give yall a little laugh. I will have nude picks of my mom for anyone who wants some.... real cheap. There is no shame in my game fellas, the worse everything gets, the more important it is to laugh at it. Im just glad she is happy and not alone. My step dad left when i was 13, we are still close, but at the time it was rough. My brother, his full son took it hardest. I stepped up into the man of the house seat and never looked back. At 17 i was a roustabout and would run dudes off every so often when my mom would find someone. I was cut and violent and usually partly drunk after work. It was selfish of me, but at the time you dont think about that. Every since i unfucked myself i stay well out of my moms love life. But were close enough to joke about the b.s. also. @Bigfatcock when your done gloating there is about 100 chores around here for you to do new dad.

 

[myronman3]

Though some men look at their offspring, and regret not stopping at the blowjob.

and that is their own fault. each time, everytime.

 

[BoltRunner]

You know what I would do if I were you, after finally finding out that my mom wasn't a virgin. I'd get drunk, talk real loud and then start a thread about that too.

Hahahahahahaha lololololololololololololololol spot on...

 

[forrestgump01]

Well. It’s better than walking in on your dad fucking your grandmother!

Dam !! That happened to you too !

 

[Bigfatcock]

Well. It’s better than walking in on your dad fucking your grandmother!

 

[GrumpyOleFart]

Best fuck I had, as a young lad, was with my former Physical Education teacher.
Met her in London, 5 years later.
She was an awesome, filthy, beautiful, fuck.
Will never forget that nasty weekend

 

[Bigfatcock]

All of my female teachers were fat and old. I still would have fucked them though!!

 

[The D]

It would have been funny if he had ask, then what’s that shit dripping off mommies chin?

She, uhhh, just got done eating a very messy cinnamon roll

 

[Bigfatcock]

She, uhhh, just got done eating a very messy cinnamon roll

By cinnamon roll, he means the diiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiick!!

 

[Texasflyer]

By cinnamon roll, he means the diiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiick!!

At 65 she still has friends of mine that hit on her. I could tell you the woes of growing up with a hot mom... most of yall probably wouldnt get it though lol. Good and bad, my friends my entire life have made these jokes... well not these jokes but sexual innuendos lol. I mean seriously, how many of your moms could beat cancer and get laid with rod stuarts hair cut? The woman is a beast. Yeah she got some dick, but she earned it lol.

 

[Choid]

At 65 she still has friends of mine that hit on her. I could tell you the woes of growing up with a hot mom... most of yall probably wouldnt get it though lol. Good and bad, my friends my entire life have made these jokes... well not these jokes but sexual innuendos lol. I mean seriously, how many of your moms could beat cancer and get laid with rod stuarts hair cut? The woman is a beast. Yeah she got some dick, but she earned it lol.

Have you been drinking?

 

[Texasflyer]

Have you been drinking?

Absolutely. Xr crown with water on the side in stuben glasses. Cant drink all day if you dont start in the morning.