I have a theory here… hear me out!

[sirhrmechanic]

https://www.breitbart.com/tech/2025/02/27/bezos-next-blue-origin-rocket-to-feature-all-female-passenger-crew-of-katy-perry-gayle-king-lauren-sanchez/

Bezos has finally decided that he wants a divorce from his nasty plastic catfish…. She is old and looks like she belongs in the bar scene from Star Wars.

But Bezos doesn’t want to give her a hundred billion.

So load her and Katy Perry and some CBS hose hound into a penis rocket… and it blows up in the stratosphere. Bonus points if you took out an insurance policy…

The public cheers the fact that Katy Perry has been turned into fish food… the press spends all their time making some tier-two reporter into a martyr of space travel…

And Bezos picks up a hot 25-year old who hasn’t spent her life getting Bondo and tuck treatments at the local Earl Scheib. And can suck start a Harley.

I mean… this makes way more sense to me than launching Josie and the Pussycats into space, right?

Who has a better theory?

Who wants to bet maple syrup that the rocket turns into an aluminum shower and ends up in a geo-stationary sub-aqueous orbit off Florida??? Takers?

Ba hahahah… Bezos is an evil genius. Oh, wait… I thought of it.

Ok… Off to start hollowing out my mountain and figuring out how to put laser beams on cats heads!

Sirhr

 

[nagantguy]

Well you may be I. To something; even if the rocket doesn’t go all explody I bet it’ll land upside down and take up 3 parking spots .

 

[502Chevelle]

You have too much time on your hands to sit around and think this shit up. You need a hobby. Get back to the wood shop. If you figure out the laser thing call me. I might buy one or two.

 

[kcbird]

Well, that's how I would do it.

 

[Mike Casselton]

https://www.breitbart.com/tech/2025/02/27/bezos-next-blue-origin-rocket-to-feature-all-female-passenger-crew-of-katy-perry-gayle-king-lauren-sanchez/

Bezos has finally decided that he wants a divorce from his nasty plastic catfish…. She is old and looks like she belongs in the bar scene from Star Wars.

But Bezos doesn’t want to give her a hundred billion.

So load her and Katy Perry and some CBS hose hound into a penis rocket… and it blows up in the stratosphere. Bonus points if you took out an insurance policy…

The public cheers the fact that Katy Perry has been turned into fish food… the press spends all their time making some tier-two reporter into a martyr of space travel…

And Bezos picks up a hot 25-year old who hasn’t spent her life getting Bondo and tuck treatments at the local Earl Scheib. And can suck start a Harley.

I mean… this makes way more sense to me than launching Josie and the Pussycats into space, right?

Who has a better theory?

Who wants to bet maple syrup that the rocket turns into an aluminum shower and ends up in a geo-stationary sub-aqueous orbit off Florida??? Takers?

Ba hahahah… Bezos is an evil genius. Oh, wait… I thought of it.

Ok… Off to start hollowing out my mountain and figuring out how to put laser beams on cats heads!

Sirhr

Laser beams are for sharks

 

[sirhrmechanic]

You have too much time on your hands to sit around and think this shit up. You need a hobby. Get back to the wood shop. If you figure out the laser thing call me. I might buy one or two.

I’m making jerky today… and hollowing out mountain. See above ;-).

 

[cas6969]

 

[hlee]

Why a rocket death? He’s not married to her. That’s what fiancé means. “It’s not you, it’s me. And, I’m’a’ need that ring back. Thx.”

 

[hlee]

Btw, she does look a bit like Steven Tyler with a boob job.

 

[Terry Cross]

Would definitely be a Win/Win if the dick rocket asploded.

 

[lash]

Why a rocket death? He’s not married to her. That’s what fiancé means. “It’s not you, it’s me. And, I’m’a’ need that ring back. Thx.”

It doesn’t exactly work that way for the rich and gold diggers, especially in CA.

 

[hlee]

It doesn’t exactly work that way for the rich and gold diggers, especially in CA.

If I had Bezos money, I’d have a lawyer that insured that it did.

 

[Big Phish]

can suck start a Harley.??
I'd pay to see that just saying....but a Harley won't start if it's been molested the fucking hell out of. Frankly that's Bezos.

 

[lonegunman762x51]

I think you are on to something. He just fired a few thousand penis rocket employees the other day. This is a great way to get rid of a really shitty singer and a freaky girlfriend and shut down a shitty rocket company.

10 minute space rides is a carny trick. Sort of like riding a shitty submarine to the Titanic and getting squashed.

 

[sirhrmechanic]

I think you are on to something. He just fired a few thousand penis rocket employees the other day. This is a great way to get rid of a really shitty singer and a freaky girlfriend and shut down a shitty rocket company.

10 minute space rides is a carny trick. Sort of like riding a shitty submarine to the Titanic and getting squashed.

But Bezos landed and put astronaut wings on himself and was wearing an Omega Moon Watch.

Yeah, astronaut. Not. He was cargo.

Sirhr

 

[232593]

Wasn’t there a thread about a sub that tried similar shit?

Space isn’t going to be any kinder than deep water.

 

[Numedal]

How much space does he have in that unidentified phallic object? Plenty more useless ovary carriers that could go with them...

Is this the billionaire version of "unplanned" midair disembarkation from helicopters?

 

[clubstrump]

Is there room for a 4th, I'll nominate my ex

 

[Mongo68]

Is there room for a 4th, I'll nominate my ex

I sense a new business opportunity coming…

Spaced EX.

 

[Smokeshot]

 

[sirhrmechanic]

View attachment 8629040

It's still a classic...

 

[Sean the Nailer]

https://www.breitbart.com/tech/2025/02/27/bezos-next-blue-origin-rocket-to-feature-all-female-passenger-crew-of-katy-perry-gayle-king-lauren-sanchez/

Bezos has finally decided that he wants a divorce from his nasty plastic catfish…. She is old and looks like she belongs in the bar scene from Star Wars.

But Bezos doesn’t want to give her a hundred billion.

So load her and Katy Perry and some CBS hose hound into a penis rocket… and it blows up in the stratosphere. Bonus points if you took out an insurance policy…

The public cheers the fact that Katy Perry has been turned into fish food… the press spends all their time making some tier-two reporter into a martyr of space travel…

And Bezos picks up a hot 25-year old who hasn’t spent her life getting Bondo and tuck treatments at the local Earl Scheib. And can suck start a Harley.

I mean… this makes way more sense to me than launching Josie and the Pussycats into space, right?

Who has a better theory?

Who wants to bet maple syrup that the rocket turns into an aluminum shower and ends up in a geo-stationary sub-aqueous orbit off Florida??? Takers?

Ba hahahah… Bezos is an evil genius. Oh, wait… I thought of it.

Ok… Off to start hollowing out my mountain and figuring out how to put laser beams on cats heads!

Sirhr

The easiest manner of achieving this goal, is to simply remove them from the sharks heads first. Isn't it obvious?

Otherwise, everything else you'd said above, is "bang-on". (pun intended)

 

[lash]

I think you are on to something. He just fired a few thousand penis rocket employees the other day. This is a great way to get rid of a really shitty singer and a freaky girlfriend and shut down a shitty rocket company.

10 minute space rides is a carny trick. Sort of like riding a shitty submarine to the Titanic and getting squashed.

Wasn’t there a thread about a sub that tried similar shit?

Space isn’t going to be any kinder than deep water.

I already posted this today in the MVP thread, but it seems appropriate to place it here as an illustration.

An enterprising meme artist would be good at placing a penis rocket in place of the sub.

 

[theLBC]

should have bought her a ticket on that submarine.

 

[Darryle]

View attachment 8628914

 

[mosin46]

https://www.breitbart.com/tech/2025/02/27/bezos-next-blue-origin-rocket-to-feature-all-female-passenger-crew-of-katy-perry-gayle-king-lauren-sanchez/

Bezos has finally decided that he wants a divorce from his nasty plastic catfish…. She is old and looks like she belongs in the bar scene from Star Wars.

But Bezos doesn’t want to give her a hundred billion.

So load her and Katy Perry and some CBS hose hound into a penis rocket… and it blows up in the stratosphere. Bonus points if you took out an insurance policy…

The public cheers the fact that Katy Perry has been turned into fish food… the press spends all their time making some tier-two reporter into a martyr of space travel…

And Bezos picks up a hot 25-year old who hasn’t spent her life getting Bondo and tuck treatments at the local Earl Scheib. And can suck start a Harley.

I mean… this makes way more sense to me than launching Josie and the Pussycats into space, right?

Who has a better theory?

Who wants to bet maple syrup that the rocket turns into an aluminum shower and ends up in a geo-stationary sub-aqueous orbit off Florida??? Takers?

Ba hahahah… Bezos is an evil genius. Oh, wait… I thought of it.

Ok… Off to start hollowing out my mountain and figuring out how to put laser beams on cats heads!

Sirhr

i guess a submarine trip was out of the question?

 

[kl3309]

Ok… Off to start hollowing out my mountain and figuring out how to put laser beams on cats heads!

Chicoms can do this:

Sure you're well capable of making a helmet mount for it!

 

[WTF-2-EDC]

Why a rocket death? He’s not married to her. That’s what fiancé means. “It’s not you, it’s me. And, I’m’a’ need that ring back. Thx.”

Naw...just pay a jeweler to swap the stones with CZs.