Maggie’s Military Version of SEX !!

Sendero_Man

OMWP... the way I roll
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Minuteman
  • Mar 29, 2007
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    Buffalo, Wyoming
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    The Commanding Officer of a regiment in the U.S. Marine Corps was about to start the morning briefing to his staff, battalion and company commanders.
    While waiting for the coffee machine to finish its brewing, the colonel decided to pose a question to all assembled. He explained that his wife had been a bit frisky the night before and he failed to get his usual amount of sound sleep. He posed the question of just how much of sex was work, and how much of it was pleasure? The regimental executive officer chimed in with 75-25% in favor of work. A captain said it was 50-50%. The colonel's aide responded with 25-75% in favor of pleasure, depending on his state of inebriation at the time. There being no consensus, the colonel turned to the private who was in charge of making the coffee. What was HIS opinion? Without any hesitation, the young PFC20responded, “Sir, it has to be 100% pleasure.” The colonel was surprised and, as you might guess, asked, why? “Well, sir, if there was any work involved, the officers would have me doing it for them.”

    The room fell silent.
     
    Re: Military Version of SEX !!

    Thats real good
    laugh.gif
     
    Re: Military Version of SEX !!

    The Navy Invented Sex

    A Marine and a sailor were sitting in a bar one day arguing over which was the superior service.

    After a swig of beer the Marine says, 'Well, we had Iwo Jima.'

    Arching his eyebrows, the sailor replies, 'We had the Battle of Midway.

    'Not entirely true', responded the Marine. 'Some of those pilots were Marines, in fact, Henderson Field on Guadalcanal was named after a Marine pilot killed at the Battle of Midway.'

    The sailor responds, 'Point taken.'

    The Marine then says, 'We Marines were born at Tunn Tavern!'

    The sailor, nodding agreement, says, 'But we had John Paul Jones.'

    The argument continued until the sailor comes up with what he thinks will end the discussion. With a flourish of finality he says...... 'The Navy invented sex!'

    The Marine replies, 'That is true, but it was the Marines who introduced it to women.'
     
    Re: Military Version of SEX !!

    It's 5 in the morning. The marine recruits are lined up outside their barracks. Nude. It's mid-January. In Alaska. The sergeant walks up to the first marine and whacks him across the ... [fill in the blank].

    The sergeant barks: "Did you feel that, soldier?"

    The recruit responds: "No, sir!"

    The sergeant: "Why not, soldier?"

    The recruit: "Because I'm a rough tough marine, sir!"

    The sergeant goes to the next marine and whacks him across his ... [fill in the blank]. The sergeant bellows: "Did you feel that, soldier?"

    The recruit screams: "No, sir!"

    "Why not, soldier?" "Because I'm a rough tough marine. Sir!"

    The sergeant goes to the third marine and etc. etc. "Did you feel that?"

    "No, sir!"

    "Why not?"

    "Because it belongs to the guy behind me!"
     
    Re: Military Version of SEX !!

    No SEX since 1955
    A crusty old Navy Chief found himself at a gala event hosted by a local liberal arts college. There was no shortage of extremely young idealistic ladies in attendance, one of whom approached the Chief for conversation.
    "Excuse me, Chief, but you seem to be a very serious man. Is something bothering you?"
    "Negative ma'am, just serious by nature."
    The young lady looked at his awards and decorations and said, "It looks like you have been deployed a lot."
    "Yes ma'am, lots."
    The young lady, tiring of trying to start up a conversation, said, "You know, you should lighten up a little. Relax and enjoy yourself."
    The Chief just stared at her in his serious manner. Finally the young lady said, "You know, I hope you don't take this the wrong way, but when is the last time you had sex?"
    "1955, ma'am."
    "Well, there you are. No wonder you're so serious. You really need to chill out! I mean, no sex since 1955! She took his hand and led him to a private room where she proceeded to "relax" him several times”.
    Afterwards, panting for breath, she leaned against his bare chest and said, "Wow, you sure didn't forget much since 1955."
    The Chief said in his serious voice, after glancing at his watch, "I hope not; it's only 2130 now
     
    Re: Military Version of SEX !!

    oldy but goody......

    A Chief and an LT were using the urinals in the head,
    the Chief finished first and as he went to leave the LT says,
    " At OCS we were taught to wash our hands after taking a leak"
    the Chief replies " in boot camp we were taught not to piss on our hands"
    cool.gif