Maggie’s My God......He has his own forum

Re: My God......He has his own forum

"You must remember that ninjutsu is the art of stealth. Stealth is all about not being seen. Remaining invisible is never more important than when you are pressing down on the man underneath you. And yes, that can result in injuries which will last a year or more. All the more reason to be stealthy.

Being an Armed Security Specialist means taking risks. Sometimes thsoe risks may be the snipers who prowl our streets day in and day out. Sometimes those threts may be gangs of roving high school truants hell bent on apocolyptic mischef. Sometimes it may be the lawyer who tries to tell you how to do your job.

No one knows how to do your job better than you. If that lawyer knows so much about being an Armed Security Specialist, why is he practicing law? He should be an Armed Security Specialist to if he's so smart.

When the lawyers start poking into my business I just ignore it. Sure, they can serve supeenas. And I can move to another town if need be. For those who don't know, Gecko is not my real name. I am anonymous. I am invisible. I am ninja."


FN AWSOME!!!
 
Re: My God......He has his own forum

I'm gonna have to go out on a limb and say this is just really good satire.... of the natively hilarious original. See the following, which actually has him working on the FART team, and gets Crate and Barrel knives and ceramic plate body armor. That forum is just a tribute....




nut -The gear we use is not the best choice for less trained units. It takes many hours in simulations and on the range to deploy this kind of high tech equipment effectively. Putting on a pair of EOTAC pants doesn't make you an Operator. Not by a long shot.

For exmple, take our commo kits. I can not go into the details because all of our commo is totally Classified but each man on the Fast Action Response Team spend six hours at Radio Shack getting trained up on that gear.

To give you a rough idea of what I carry when I gear up for Fast Action Response Team duties:

- SWMP10 in .40 S&W with 12 spare magazines on my load out vest, EOTAC reddot sight, customized Maglite 4-cell flashlight.

- customized STI 2011 in .40 S&W with three spare magazines attached to my drop leg SERPA holster.

- Glock 22 in a chest rig on my vest loaded with a 31-round extended magazine. Six spare magazines on a thigh mount.

- Glock 27 carried small of back in a holster with an integrated spare magazine pouch, which holds a 31-round extended magazine.

- Twin fighting knifes on the belt; I'm to hard on my knifes to use one brand for long, but the Crate & Barrel usually has a good selection of tough serrated knives perfect for this kind of work.

- Two flashbang grenades, two smoke gernades, and two fragmentation grenades, carried interspersed on the belt. We had our grenades special made by our vendor so that they all look identical. That way, when a Tango sees me grab one, he's got no idea whether I'm about to throw a frag or a smoke.

- Body armor technology constantly changes but after hearing great things about ceramic plates some of our guys are now testing that concept in their vests (plates provided free of charge from our friends at Crate & Barrel again). I still believe it is worth the weight to use armorered steel so I continue to use half inch 500 Brinnell plates.

- EOTAC pants

- Oakley sun glasses (or similar, depending on what Sunglasses Hut has at a discount)

- Sears DieHard combat (black) boots

Of course at my level you never wear the same gear twice. Trends and technologys change daily. We have to change with them. The Ray Bans of yesterday became the Oakleys of today. Who knows what we'll be waring next year.



Theirs more of course but that should give you a roufgh idea.
 
Re: My God......He has his own forum

<div class="ubbcode-block"><div class="ubbcode-header">Originally Posted By: Pat M</div><div class="ubbcode-body">"For those who don't know, Gecko is not my real name. I am anonymous. I am invisible. I am ninja."


FN AWSOME!!!</div></div>

+100 AWESOME
 
Re: My God......He has his own forum

<div class="ubbcode-block"><div class="ubbcode-header">Quote:</div><div class="ubbcode-body">

I am the Sergeant of a three-man Rapid Tactical Force at one of America’s largest indoor retail shopping areas.


which means I can wear the special boots to climb walls.


Basically, the situation is that we get the call, we lock up the situation, put everything five by five, and cordon the area until the local authorities arrive. We’re cops, we just don’t get the glory. [Somehow, I imagine the real police wouldn’t agree”]

I am not permitted to carry Glocks on duty; however, when my wife picks me up from work I strap on the “Deadly Duo” of a 27 and 23, each with Bar-Sto .357 bbl.

Although I use four rotating routes to drive to and from work, I am still vulnerable during the walk to and from my car. This is the time that I load up on the trauma plates
</div></div>
 
Re: My God......He has his own forum

............

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Re: My God......He has his own forum

Gecko45 apparently has a Z-Day contingency as well:

"Next, we lock all door in and out of the center. While this may slightly increase the danger to shoppers, it serves two functions. One, it contains the threat of the infection. And B, if helps us herd the horde towards Sears. Sears is the key to our DUM-Zombie eradication measures.

While most of the security force is locking doors and using cigarette lighters borrowed from Pens & Things to drive the zombies toward the Sears wing, a special element of specialists is dispatched to set up a trap. Using the various highly flammible and toxic colognes and perfumes at the Sears cosmetics counter, a massive fuel-air-bomb is created. Then it's just a matter of waiting for all the zombies to come to Sears. The exact details of teh triggering mechanism are of course kept Secret Classified to avoid falling into the hands of potential eco Tangos."

I'm convinced this is satire written in the same light as "The Zombie Survival Guide", but that doesn't make any less funny.
 
Re: My God......He has his own forum

I just can’t believe that Hollywood had not asked him to help write a movie about his life. This guy has a great ability to write some really great comedy screenplays. If anyone thinks this guy is serious and not just joking around they are suffering from serous issues. If I ever meet this guy I would buy him a few beers and tell him that he has a great sense of humor.
 
Re: My God......He has his own forum

<div class="ubbcode-block"><div class="ubbcode-header">Originally Posted By: bcw1284</div><div class="ubbcode-body">looks like countersniper is about to get a group buy order, LOL...</div></div>

Just awesome!
 
Re: My God......He has his own forum

I just worked at gas stations on street corners in a small midwestern city,(Detroit). I only carried a gun because I had small children and no wife, so I felt the need to have some insurance that I would return home every night. I never felt the threat level that seems to exist in malls, so obviously, I was just being paranoid, and a "fraidy cat", also woefully underarmed(Taurus pt100), glad those days are past, the gun was heavy.
 
Re: My God......He has his own forum

Now, this is funny. It is like watching Pee Wee's Playhouse, I just can't stop. I want to turn away, but it is so ridiculous that I have to keep on.

Wow, really kind of scary.
 
Re: My God......He has his own forum

sounds groovy maybe i need to defect to over on that site for all my shooting tactical and zombie preparedness needs. maybe hell let me run an sks sniper rifle chat room where seriuos profeshinals can discuss coriolis compensating devices and purple laser beams as they pertain to the sks sniper platform as well as breakthrus in the latest uzi mounted mildot optics and how to paint them a nice flektard pattern.
 
Re: My God......He has his own forum

I just barely made it through his 2nd post about his "proposed armament" for this mall, and there is absolutely no way in hell this guy is for real.

I cannot convice myself that this is anything other than someone out for laughs and to get reactions. Right? Please tell me I'm right. This is friggin looney tunes/coo coo for cocoa puffs stuff.
 
Re: My God......He has his own forum

I just spent roughly an hour reading this guy's backround and its probably the funniest shit ive ever read, save this for a bad day then read that first link. funiest shit ever read " im almost a master of ninjitsu, and will be completing my training in 8 months.... which will allow me to wear boots that make's you climb walls".
-Felipe
 
Re: My God......He has his own forum

Ahaha.

I just finished reading this one...
http://lonelymachines.org/mall-ninjas/

I've been trying to judge the writing style to see if it is the same individual? Anybody have any ideas? The sad thing, although it is all intended as a joke and filled with satire I have a feeling the individuals may actually have more than a basic read-on-the-internet knowledge of weaponry? Maybe it's just me.

Either way, very good read sir.
 
Re: My God......He has his own forum

Maybe this guy is my wifes ex-husband. If he quotes chuckhawks and gives advice on rifles he has never owned or fired, could be him. Knows everything, just ask him.
 
Re: My God......He has his own forum

its funny to read but this has to be a big joke that he keeps up. There is no way a person really believes in a Mall SWAT team ?! I have secretly been waiting for him to come here and start up with his BS, I think CKA and shankster would have him crying in an hour.
 
Re: My God......He has his own forum

Reviving this thread for an UPDATE:

He's now a <span style="text-decoration: underline">literary</span> hero as well! In "Better to Beg Forgiveness..." by Michael Z. Williamson, the Executive Protection contractors run into a "mall tactical team", captained by one "Lizard 45". I spent the entire chapter laughing my ass off!
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