Nastiest flight you've ever been on?

[QuickNDirty]

I've been pretty lucky with my flights. The worst is smelly fat people.

Nothing on this level....

 

[hermosabeach]

Africa
Flying from Dar Es Salom to Zanzibar
80% of the seats fell into reclined position on take off. Hinges worn out. No cockpit door. All flights non pressurized as the old airbus could not pressurize. It would not surprise me if they would not fly with weather as they were VFR only or had a used Garmin on the windscreen.


No shit covered isles

 

[Mike Casselton]

MD-11 coming back from Egypt.
Everyone worked all day launching aircraft, breaking down tents and packing shit up.
Then they filled the aircraft full for the flight home.

The only thing worse was my first ride in a kimchee bus.

 

[XLR308]

Stinkiest flight ever was from Cape Town SA with 30 or more Nigerian missionaries who were with us all the way to Houston. They were nonstop in and out of the bathroom doing God knows what and I would have just shit myself rather than attempt to use it.
By the time I made it to Houston and my wife picked me up the first words out of her mouth when I got in the truck wasn't the usual pleasantries but rather " Good God what is that smell "
All I could say was please get me home so I can burn these clothes and take a long shower.

 

[Sean the Nailer]

That crap is hideous. In what universe is that 'civil', or humane? I have a hard time imagining the concept of 'clean people' with THAT conduct being perfectly acceptable.

Wow.

 

[oneshot86]

togo to amsterdam.
air afrique, the leg from lome to legos was the most special, real real african, real earthy, cock a doodle dooo

 

[cornhusker86]

My worst fiight wasn't commercial. No shit in the isle, but it did involve a shithook .

 

[Threadcutter308]

Anything American or United airlines........

 

[12Bravo]

There have been many bad flights, mostly in Asia, but one which sticks in my mind was a Tigerair flight from Jakarta to Medan, Indonesia several years ago. The plane smelled like it hadn't been cleaned in a few weeks, several seatbacks including mine wouldn't lock in the upright position, no air conditioning, plus the flight crew informed us that the laboratories were inoperable. Needless to say, it wasn't a pleasant hop.

 

[FleetDaddy]

My worst flight of all time was a 13 hour choppy flight ALL the way from Seoul to Suva in a very tired 330-200. Wife threw up 6 or 7 times along with most of the other passengers. Two toilets out of service in Economy. Half way there I had choice of drinks and food. Korean Air has been better since for me. I fly mostly AA from Hong Kong to DFW on Trip 7-300s or 87s.

 

[_Windrider_]

Every flight of every day. What makes them horrible.......the people. Bunch of entitled fucksticks.

 

[Maser]

Private jet flight where someone was drunk and puked and we had to smell it the rest of the flight.

 

[Clearlight]

Lots of bad ones in the Himalayan region, walked away from a few good stacks. Worst commercial flight
was on Aeroflot ex Delhi, chock a block full of locals. Overloaded aircraft didn’t want to get off the ground
in 110 degree heat, nearly hit the fence at the end of the runway for starters, then massive turbulence
popped overhead lockers and shit went everywhere.

Half the aircraft spewed due to the turbulence and the aircon wasn’t working properly. I could see out the
window the LH engine seemed to have a loose cowling and there was a weird harmonic vibration. Bad smell
of shit after about half an hour to add to the spew and spilt curry stank, and the usual crying babies and
hysteric passengers. Funniest thing was the hostesses: very hefty Olga types who took no shit. Saw one
slap a passenger who was freaking out and figured they didn’t need any help.... Very happy to land.

 

[MK20]

8 hr ride in an old S-61 that had a gyro that was going bad or out of spec. Wobbled like a top, was full of jet exhaust, the day was well above 100F in the tropics, and the air was full of smoke from fires.
If that ain’t a recipe for airsickness, I don’t know what is.

 

[lht645]

Any and all from Africa or the middle East, what the hell do people do in those bathrooms?

 

[_Windrider_]

Any and all from Africa or the middle East, what the hell do people do in those bathrooms?

I ask the same thing about the DR and Haiti

 

[briang7511]

3.5 hr red eye flight back from vegas a few months ago, guy next to me had the worst gas imaginable for the entire flight. probably not comparable to some stories above, but by far my worst experience.

 

[spurrnch]

Many shitty flights. Worst plane was an old Soviet flight out of Kiev. Pretty sure the pilots were drunk and most of the seats were broken. Worst part was the attendant - somebody had pissed in her Wheaties and she was mean as hell!

 

[Flintdog2011]

Not a flight, but I used to work in the maintenance headquarters of a major airline. They once brought in a 757 from a middle eastern airline for heavy maintenance and an interior refurbishment. It was parked inside a hanger about a quarter of a mile from our office. They couldn't get the lav tanks to empty properly, so they opened up the fuselage to get to the tanks. The most god-awful smell I have ever experienced filled the entire building. I'm talking about a building that's almost a mile long and around six stories tall. It was so bad they evacuated the entire building of people for the rest of the day. Turns out that a hose had disconnected and raw sewage had been filling the belly of the plane for months. They had just been letting the liquid drain out through rivet holes and other openings, while the solid waste just built up. They had to call in a hazardous waste team to clean it out. Took almost two months to get clean and added two million dollars to their bill, because the rancid goo had eaten away part of the aluminum ribbing that is the structural strength of the fuselage. I can still smell it as I type this...

 

[Nik H]

Buenos Aries to Sao Paulo on some rinky dink airline. Plane looked like it was vintage 50s turboprop and we were flying over a mountainous terrain.

I think I lost two fillings. I have flown several million miles and this was the only time I flew where I was ready to kiss the ground when we got to Brazil.

 

[Blue Sky Country]

Not a flight, but I used to work in the maintenance headquarters of a major airline. They once brought in a 757 from a middle eastern airline for heavy maintenance and an interior refurbishment. It was parked inside a hanger about a quarter of a mile from our office. They couldn't get the lav tanks to empty properly, so they opened up the fuselage to get to the tanks. The most god-awful smell I have ever experienced filled the entire building. I'm talking about a building that's almost a mile long and around six stories tall. It was so bad they evacuated the entire building of people for the rest of the day. Turns out that a hose had disconnected and raw sewage had been filling the belly of the plane for months. They had just been letting the liquid drain out through rivet holes and other openings, while the solid waste just built up. They had to call in a hazardous waste team to clean it out. Took almost two months to get clean and added two million dollars to their bill, because the rancid goo had eaten away part of the aluminum ribbing that is the structural strength of the fuselage. I can still smell it as I type this...

Damn. You win this thread.

That was fucking awful to even read.

One of the things that I simply cannot stand the most, are people who just let problems fester and sweep it under the rug hoping to pass it onto someone else, instead of finding solutions for it right away. That kind of laziness and incompetence is absolutely intolerable.

 

[Greg Langelius *]

C-130 MATS (webbing seats) flight from March AFB (Cally-Phoney-Ya) to Pope AFB (Dat's Ten-and-See-Ya, Yankeeboy!), with three or four landings (including Colorado Springs USAF Acad.) along the way, during the Airline Strike of 1966. I had received leave from Pendleton prior to assignment to 'Nam; and I was gonna get home BAMN.

That Herkybird porpoised all the way across the Nation.

Got in, found the Pennsy RR, and still had my PRR employee pass in my wallet. I deadheaded into Newark NJ for free. Got a stare or two from the resident Hippie Hobos in Newark Penn Station at my short haircut, but no actual lip.

You do realize the head on a C-130 is a relief tube, don't you?

Or....

Flight from Tucson AZ to Mazatlan Mex June 1989. Aero de Mexico, guaranteed seats, only good for the hop across the Border for Mex customs check on a DC-9. Graduation present trip to Mazatlan for our Daughter on her HS Grad.

Then, the goat and chicken flight. This flight was the local, lost track of the number of drops and hops, the pilots were doing bush aircraft aerobatics, we actually dropped the nose wheel off the tarmac onto the sand on one landing. Ten minutes wait, 3 minutes with the airplane tractor, then right to the stairway and back onto the itinerary.

Exhilarating, except for the lingering, but piquantly odious scent of chili pepper barf.

Or...

Jump off the ramp of a never stopping, runway taxiing C-130, Khe Sanh, 1967. Fix the generator, wait along the runway, run up to the open tail ramp of the next C-130, roll in, grab on, kiss yo Mama goodbye as they firewall the throttles the Hell back outta there. Short hop to Dong Ha, short walk to the flight line and thumb a ride on a 3/4 ton weapons carrier back to the 11th Engr compound about a half mile away.

Just another Glorious Day in the Corps...

...And they called me a REMF...

...Riiiiight...

Greg