Post your funniest range story...

[joelinux]

Just curious as to what some of the funniest range stories you might have collected over the years....

I'll start up with a rather mild one...

A friend of mine went to a skeet/trap range. He had a reserved time to the spiffy new voice activated range (this was some time ago).

Well, about 3rd position, a very "I'm young and rich so the rules don't apply to me" type person walks into his range and starts reading him the riot act.

Evidently, he had the time previous to him, had arrived late, and was pissed that my friend was getting his properly reserved-and-arrived-to range time on the range he was supposed to have.

My friend gracefully takes about 2-3 minutes of this man's recital of the four letter symphony, then calmly replies with, "Stop and think for a second, son. You are trying to pick a fight in front of a crowd of witnesses with a man holding a loaded shotgun."

The man looks at my friend's shotgun, then turns around, sees the (armed) range safety officer approaching him, about 20-30 people gathered around watching this spectacle, and sheepishly tries to duck out.

Next time we came to the range, his face was plastered on the pistol, rifle, and trap/skeet range with warnings to call the office if he was spotted.

 

[Blue Sky Country]

Just curious as to what some of the funniest range stories you might have collected over the years....

I'll start up with a rather mild one...

A friend of mine went to a skeet/trap range. He had a reserved time to the spiffy new voice activated range (this was some time ago).

Well, about 3rd position, a very "I'm young and rich so the rules don't apply to me" type person walks into his range and starts reading him the riot act.

Evidently, he had the time previous to him, had arrived late, and was pissed that my friend was getting his properly reserved-and-arrived-to range time on the range he was supposed to have.

My friend gracefully takes about 2-3 minutes of this man's recital of the four letter symphony, then calmly replies with, "Stop and think for a second, son. You are trying to pick a fight in front of a crowd of witnesses with a man holding a loaded shotgun."

The man looks at my friend's shotgun, then turns around, sees the (armed) range safety officer approaching him, about 20-30 people gathered around watching this spectacle, and sheepishly tries to duck out.

Next time we came to the range, his face was plastered on the pistol, rifle, and trap/skeet range with warnings to call the office if he was spotted.

Mild? Yes, but it also delivers quite a powerful message:

An armed society IS a polite society.

Nobody got hurt and the young buck learned that playing stupid games just earned him stupid prizes. In that case, being perma-banned from that range.

 

[XLR308]

One of the times me and brother went to the ASC range in Houston we were at the 100 yard line sighting in two new scopes.
I was busy setting up my rifle and ammo and things getting ready for cease fire so we would be ready to go down range and get set up and my brother taps me on the shoulder and says " Hey look at this dip shit "
I looked down the line about 10 benches over and there's a clown with a boonie hat on, elbow and knee pads and a pair of some kind of goofy looking goggles getting set up behind a 50bmg.
He takes his shot and the concusion from the brake blows his loose fitting boonie off, he gets up picks up his cover and commences to do it several more times nonchalantly like it's just part of his process.
Needless to say we just packed up and moved down to the 300 yard line for sight in to get farther away from the short range clown circus.

 

[Crang]

Was on a rifle range with lots and lots of shooters making no small amount of noise and a deer walked out and insisted on standing right in front of everyones targets. They called the range cold and it just didnt want to leave- literally standing in the exact spot bullets were impacting. Darwin award isnt just for humans.

 

[ForgeValley]

Shooting my 7.62 M1A, my 'buddy' hands me a full mag to shoot. I pop it in, chamber a round, and the bolt sticks almost all the way in. I had to mortar the round out, and I'm checking the rifle over, running the bolt. Try it again with the same results. Finally get that one unstuck and I'm looking the mags over now, inspecting the rounds, and yep, he had handed me a mag full of 6.5 Creedmoor. He was back there laughing his ass off.

 

[Gunfighter14e2]

While waiting for my shoot time for the old military bolt gun, an assault rifle comp at Knob Creek years ago a 30 something woman was pacing back an forth. She was geared up like the second guy in a swat stack. Studying the targets, range, an shooting a M4, her swagger was indicating "I got this" an will show these guys how it's done. I am slotted to shoot just before her (assault rifle) an I am shooting a uncut H&R M14e2. I finish with a fare ass score an stay to watch her. She never hit a target, not one, finger fuck the mag changes ect. Not wanting to rub it in( yea I know B/S right?) as she walks by I ask If her ammo was faulty, to which she replied. "Shut the fuck up, there was nothing wrong with my ammo I loaded it all my self " OK I think, an said " so the ammo an weapon were not faulty Uh, that only leaves one item faulty don't it. Yes I got the look, to which I replied, baby cakes your can't scare targets to death. She about had a melt down over that. I don't think she ever shot the creek again.

 

[KittieKatt]

I used to do modeling for a friend that was a photographer. When he found out I was a Vet and loved to shoot he came up with the idea for doing a double shoot day.. shoot some pictures and some guns.. We had not done a shoot in a few years as I had gained weight (bad knees and back from service injuries.) so I agree'd for old times sake.. plus who can turn down an opportunity
to go to the range and shoot a few hours??
I dolled up, put on 6" high heeled knee high snake boots, gathered up my custom pink AR I had built along with my purple reptile skin Glock holster and met him at the range.
We had shot there many times before so the range officers knew me and we told them the plan. They informed us that it seemed no one was on the 100yrd pistol/rifle range at the moment we could take pics there, but if anyone decides to shoot the range goes hot again. We thanked him and headed over to that range. Sure enough not a soul present so we start taking some pics. About 15 minutes later a guy comes over and asks if the range is closed since we were just taking pics. We told him he could shoot and that we would be shooting guns as well.. He looked me up and down.. saw my purple range bag, pink rifle case, etc and sneered laughing to himself..
He proceeds to start unloading his car.. This guy had like 10 rifle bags and 20 range bags.. all of them "Tacticool".. about half way through unloading I gave up waiting for him and we called the range hot and started shooting. half way from the car to his bench spot he stops to watch me put 3 in the chest and 2 in the head with rounds almost touching in just under a second..
This guy proceeds to put all his stuff back in his car and drives down to the next range to shoot with all the guys down there. =D

 

[joelinux]

You guys reminded me of another story...

So, my friend has a Colt Python as well as an 1873 replica, both chambered in .357 Mag, both of which are also able to fire .38 special.

When firing .38, there is virtually no recoil, so I noticed that both he and I were not shouldering the 1873 correctly as a result.

Now, my friend had been shooting for a lot longer than I had, and was fond of correcting me when my form was not up to snuff.

My friend finishes up with the 1873, and transfers over to the Python. He then asks me to reload his 1873. (I think we all know where this is going).

Sure enough, I load up 3-4 .38 special rounds, then, feeling devilish, put in a .357 round, then fill the rest with .38 special again.

He takes back the 1873, then I wait.

*pang*
*lever reload*
*pang*
*lever reload*
*pang*
*lever reload*
*pang*
*lever reload*
*BOOOOOM*
"G-dd-amnit, Joelinux"

*me, looking sweet and innocent*
"If you had proper form, that wouldn't have hurt"

My friend looked daggers at me. He was in a fair amount of (temporary) pain to both his shoulder and ego, but could not argue against my point.

He quietly shouldered the rifle (correctly), and we resumed shooting for the day.

 

[TheGerman]

At the Manatee range in Florida years ago, they have (had?) a 550 yard berm. Everything before that was just flat ground with 100 yard lines and then a 1 k range behind it. The 550 yard berm was popular for steel, reactive targets and usually towards the end of the year, pumpkins.

Was there on a quiet Sunday and basically had 1 or 2 older guys with their weird wildcat guns with heavy ass stocks and 30lb front rests and giant benchrest scopes on them on the far left lanes, me in the middle by myself fucking around with a K98 I was obsessed with turning into a 1MOA gun at the time and 3 or 4 people together on the far right side of the lanes where the pistol area started.

The people on the right put pumpkins out on the berm after asking the RO if they could. I then proceeded to watch them shoot at them with all of the cheap/weird rifles they had brought with them. Shit like a 44magnum Ruger carbine, a WASR with a giant ass China scope on it, and just random shit. It didn't take long before I realized that A. they were fucking horrible shots and B. the pumpkins were in no danger.

As the wildcat guys on the other end were shooting, I decided I was going to shoot at the same time they did so nothing would be obvious and I started shooting at the pumpkins. From looking at me, you'd think I was shooting my paper target I had up at 2 or 300 yards as their pumpkin on the berm was basically just to the right of my target stand.

Took 2 shots and the 2nd hit one of them and sent it fucking flying. Apparently the timing was perfect because it happened right as the wildcat guys were shooting and 2-3 seconds after one of the noobs shot; so it almost looked like a super delayed hit on their part but I could hear them being very confused on how that just happened given the time difference from their shot to seeing the pumpkin fly off. I didn't look at them and shot at my paper target a bit.

Then I started shooting at the pumpkins again as the wildcat guys went for another string. Pumpkin breaks in half. This time they get pissed and I can hear them start to argue amnogst themselves and that they suspect the wildcat guys for shooting at their pumpkins. Finally one of them yells out to stop shooting their targets. No one responds, I don't even look at them. I wait a few minutes and hit another one. One of them gets up, walks right past me and goes down and starts literally berating the old wildcat guys who have no idea WTF is going on.

I wait a little longer and hit another one. They go fucking nuts and start yelling across the range about fuck this and WTF, etc. 2 of them walk right by me, with a simple old wood rifle that doesn't look like it can hit anything further than 100 yards and never even think twice that it could be me. They don't even ask; hell, the wildcat guys don't even think or suggest to even ask me because I'm shooting some old ass WW2 gun.

1 more pumpkin explodes and they pack up to leave in a hissy fit. I turn around and notice the RO has been sitting on a bench a bit behind me to my left with a gigantic grin on his face lol

 

[12Bravo]

About 20 years ago, my dad asked me to hand load some .30-06 ammo for him. He said he wanted heavy bullets and high velocity for bean field deer hunting.
I don't recall the actual load I used, but I'm sure I didn't max out velocity. I took him to the range to sight in before deer season and noticed his rounds were all over the place. When I mentioned this, he claimed that my handloads must be at fault. I proceeded to load a dummy cartridge in the rifle and watched him flinch like crazy when he pulled the trigger. I couldn't help but laugh at him as he extracted the dummy round and told me: "damn it, you forgot to put a primer in this one!"

 

[QuickNDirty]

A dude I was introducing to hunting during archery season a few years back, after getting his crossbow dialed in out to 80 yards, bet me $100 I couldn't offhand the bottom of a styrofoam coffee cup that was staked to the ass of a 3d deer target with my 45 colt lever gun with iron sights.

It was one of the most nonchalant uninteresting shots I'd taken in a while. Never will forget the "wtf, how is that even possible" look on his face. That was pretty funny.

Don't usually have funny stories at the range.

though we do laugh occasionally about the time a farm-hand from a completely out-of-the-way ranch came walking straight down our firing lane with a single shot rifle to ask us if we were shooting in their direction, that was mostly terrifying (to me) and a real testament to having good observers and conscientious shooters that obey the 4 rules. No sooner than I'd formed the question "wtf is that moving down at the tree line (nearly 1k yards away)" did another guy say "There's a fucking guy down there!".

 

[joelinux]

No sooner than I'd formed the question "wtf is that moving down at the tree line (nearly 1k yards away)" did another guy say "There's a fucking guy down there!".

That's something out of a nightmare....

 

[QuickNDirty]

That's something out of a nightmare....

Yeah, crazy part was he did not seem to give a single fuck about any of it. He walked up, said hello, asked us if we were shooting toward the ranch, I promptly said, "nope... we were shooting down the road you just walked up." Your ranch is waaay over yonder.

"Ok then. Y'all have fun."

 

[Dthomas3523]

I went to the range one time and saw a chic taking some pics.

Only put 5 rnds on paper in a second. So I went to the next range over.

 

[joelinux]

I went to the range one time and saw a chic taking some pics.

Only put 5 rnds on paper in a second. So I went to the next range over.

Well done, sir...

 

[powdahound76]

We were all out shooting at my buddy’s farm in Iowa one time.
Mostly .22s and his FIL had a cool old blackpowder muzzle loader he was letting us shoot.

My buddy Farmer (what we have called him since grade school) swapped his 28” bird barrel out for a 20” slug barrel on his 870 to make sure it was ready to go for deer season.

He was shooting 100 yds at an 8” circle painted on the side of a 3’x3’ box weighed down with some dirt chunks. He wasnt hitting much.....

We had some gatorade bottles we had filled with water and shot with my marlin model 60 and one was laying on its side lid towards me.
He snuck in a 3” slug and asked if I wanted to try.
First shot I blew that lid and bottle all to hell, off hand no less. I couldnt repeat that in another 100 shots as I stink off hand and I calmly handed the gun back and said “it seems to not kick much with those slugs”.

I mention that story whenever we hang out. His wife laughs her butt off

 

[powdahound76]

Some jackass at the range the other night had his all tricked out AR with the shorty barrel and he couldnt even get that thing to fire!!!

Turns out he was riding the charging handle back down like it was a hot redhead screamin for more.
Bolt wasnt locking up with no force behind it. Took him a while to figure it out.

Friggin moron.......

Forgot to follow rules #1-3.

 

[GBMaryland]

Back in the early 1990s I had a friend who was the proprietor of range next to Mount airy lodge in the Poconos, PA.

Every now and then we get some dumb ideas and would try them out.

It just so happened that they had a working 37 mm cannon at this range. One of the gunsmiths gone so far as to even make a fully operational breach for the cannon, and every now and then they will fire off a blank charge to make a nice boom.

We were very friendly with the state police and one time they brought a bunch of expired CS gas projectiles for us to dispose of. (Aka tear gas grenades).

Now the range wasn’t that big… It was about 130 yards deep and about 200 yards wide with lots of stalls. There was an instructor‘s position separated by a berm and followed by shooting positions.

Looking at the grenades I realized that that look like they would fit perfectly in the bore of this cannon.

So one of my buddies and I bore sighted this 37 mm canon to the center of the 130 yard line down range.

Now we were feeling pretty good about ourselves from having figured all of this out… So my buddy put the grenade in, I pull the lanyard, and that’s when physics took over…

It turns out the velocity of teargas grenade is not quite like normal 40mm grenade (wrong assumption #1).

Instead of lobbing over the (empty) instructors range / berm, it was a litttle low at hit the tippy top of a 12ft picket fense that separted the instructors range from a skeet field.

—-
You ever have a moment when when something happens in a split second, but it feels, perceptively, like a minute and a half?

That was this...
—-

I see the grenade hit the top of one of the pieces of picket fense.

The fense simply snaps at that part and the top of the picket begins to fall.

The tear gas grenade explodes.

Huh. I didn’t know they made pink/red tear gas?

Wow. Thats a good sized cloud.

Wait a minute the wind is blowing directly toward those guys on the skeet field!

Ugh oh. There’s five if them, and they all got shotguns.

Man, that dude on position three is definitely gonna miss.

I am soooo dead.

?

Fortunately, our story ends with them all being REALLY good sports... and me buying them all dinner and alot of beer.

For the record: the guy actually hit his target as the pink cloud wafted over them. (Every single one of them had been in the military... so it wasnt as bad as it could have been, since theyd all had chemical warfare training.)

 

[Maggot]

Got a new scope for a rifle I hadnt shot for a long time, and ordered 20 MOA rings. Went to the range, mounted everything up, sighted it in at about 20 feet and then moved the target out to 100 yds. No matter what I did I couldnt get the damn thing on zero...it stayed real high, like 10 MOA high, no matter turning the elevation all the way down. Left to right no problem, dead on.

Packed up went home and pulled the scope off the rifle, Just happed to notice the rail was ..........20 MOA.

DOH!

 

[Maggot]

Back in the early 1990s I had a friend who was the proprietor of range next to Mount airy lodge in the Poconos, PA.

Every now and then we get some dumb ideas and would try them out.

It just so happened that they had a working 37 mm cannon at this range. One of the gunsmiths gone so far as to even make a fully operational breach for the cannon, and every now and then they will fire off a blank charge to make a nice boom.

We were very friendly with the state police and one time they brought a bunch of expired CS gas projectiles for us to dispose of. (Aka tear gas grenades).

Now the range wasn’t that big… It was about 130 yards deep and about 200 yards wide with lots of stalls. There was an instructor‘s position separated by a berm then but they did a shooting positions.

Looking at the grenades I realized that that look like they would fit perfectly in the bore of this cannon.

So one of my buddies and I bore sighted this 37 mm tearing to the center of the 130 yard line down range.

Now we were feeling pretty good about ourselves from having figured all of this out… So my buddy put the grenade in, I pull the lanyard, and that’s when physics took over…

It turns out the velocity of teargas grenade is not quite like normal 40mm grenade (wrong assumption #1).

Instead of lobbing over to the (empty) instructors range / berm, it was a litttle low at hit the tippy top of a 12ft picket fense that separted the instructors range from a skeet field.

—-
You ever have a moment when when something happens in a slipt second, but it feels, perceptively, like a minute and a half?

That was this...
—-

I see the grenade hit the top of one of the pieces of picket fense.

The fense simple snaps at that part and the top of the picket begins to fall.

The tear gas grenade explodes.

Huh. I didn’t know they made pink/red tear gas?

Wow. Thats a good sized cloud.

Wait a minute the wind is blowing directly toward those guys on the skeet field!

Ugh oh. There’s five if them, and they all got shotguns.

Man, that dude on position three is definitely gonna miss.

I am soooo dead.

?

Fortunately, our story ends with them all being REALLY good sport... and me buying them all dinner and alot of beer.

For the record: the guy actually hit his target as the pink cloud wafted over them. (Every single one of them had been in the military... so it wasnt as bad as it could have been, since theyd all had chemical warfare training.)

Ya gotta know when to hold'em
Know when to fold'em
And know when to run like a bitch.

 

[flyer]

I used to do modeling for a friend that was a photographer. When he found out I was a Vet and loved to shoot he came up with the idea for doing a double shoot day.. shoot some pictures and some guns.. We had not done a shoot in a few years as I had gained weight (bad knees and back from service injuries.) so I agree'd for old times sake.. plus who can turn down an opportunity
to go to the range and shoot a few hours??
I dolled up, put on 6" high heeled knee high snake boots, gathered up my custom pink AR I had built along with my purple reptile skin Glock holster and met him at the range.
We had shot there many times before so the range officers knew me and we told them the plan. They informed us that it seemed no one was on the 100yrd pistol/rifle range at the moment we could take pics there, but if anyone decides to shoot the range goes hot again. We thanked him and headed over to that range. Sure enough not a soul present so we start taking some pics. About 15 minutes later a guy comes over and asks if the range is closed since we were just taking pics. We told him he could shoot and that we would be shooting guns as well.. He looked me up and down.. saw my purple range bag, pink rifle case, etc and sneered laughing to himself..
He proceeds to start unloading his car.. This guy had like 10 rifle bags and 20 range bags.. all of them "Tacticool".. about half way through unloading I gave up waiting for him and we called the range hot and started shooting. half way from the car to his bench spot he stops to watch me put 3 in the chest and 2 in the head with rounds almost touching in just under a second..
This guy proceeds to put all his stuff back in his car and drives down to the next range to shoot with all the guys down there. =D

View attachment 7069027

I have to give you respect for hitting anything in those boots.

My funny range story was at a "tactical" rubber duckie shoot. There were two target stands that were a piece of wood set on top of two supports with a row of rubber duckie targets. I think it was 10 shots, the most rubber duckies knocked off wins, quickest time wins a tie and if you knock over the board, you're done.

I had my Glock 26 and cheap bulk ammo, not a great combo but I got to the final of the 8 shooter tournament by virtue of a really easy draw.

In the final, I start shooting and immediately knock down the board on my first shot. My competitor missed his first shot and then hit the board knocking it down. I won due to quickest time.

I was shooting with some friends so every now and then I remind them that I'm the champ.

 

[Bender]

When I was the Rookie at the Sheriffs Department, I outshot all the guys on our 6month training day...... I thought I was mid pack. Didn’t know till the last half hour that I did it lol.

And I’m not that good of a shot? I consider myself solid mid pack.

 

[Sean the Nailer]

When I was the Rookie at the Sheriffs Department, I outshot all the guys on our 6month training day...... I thought I was mid pack. Didn’t know till the last half hour that I did it lol.

And I’m not that good of a shot? I consider myself solid mid pack.

No offense, but that's not saying much. I've shot against/with a number of different police forces/RCMP detachments, and almost ALL of them sucked. One guy hated his sidearm, and only touched it when he had to re qualify each year. I still don't know why he had that job.

Back to funny stories.

 

[Bender]

No offense, but that's not saying much. I've shot against/with a number of different police forces/RCMP detachments, and almost ALL of them sucked. One guy hated his sidearm, and only touched it when he had to re qualify each year. I still don't know why he had that job.

Back to funny stories.

Exactly.

It’s not saying much.

I find it’s funny that they all shoot like garbage. Lol

 

[Sean the Nailer]

For the record, I did say "almost all". At the same time, there were a few whom were REALLY GOOD. The sad part of this whole story though, is that there were only a few.....

 

[Maggot]

Exactly.

It’s not saying much.

I find it’s funny that they all shoot like garbage. Lol

I read an interesting article about how lone cops often lose to gang bangers for the simple reason that most cops just want to put in their range time and go home. The banger practices all the time because hes looking to kill somebody to make a name for himself.

What is it Frank says?

"You cant miss fast enough to win a gunfight. Get out there and shoot." Paraphrased.

 

[flyer]

Another one, I went shooting on a weekday to break in a new rifle I built. It was a 6.5 Creedmoor AR and I had all my cleaning gear to do it and Hornady 140 Amax box ammo.

Another guy was there shooting a fancy "precision rifle" bolt action 6.5x47 with an S&B scope (a PM-II probably) and hand loaded ammo.

He came over, shit talked my break in plan, mentioned he was a cop, said he was getting ready for a match at a range I go to some times and then suggested that I violate the California "Assault Weapon" ban because it wasn't made for us (I imagine he meant white people).

I was a bit pissed off because that dickhead would never face any serious repercussions of violating the AWB but I'm sure I would if I got caught.

I went on with my break in, tuned my gas and zeroed my scope.

At the end, after my short break in I shot a group. I stacked two shots and then being excited and not completely familiar with the new trigger, I yanked a shot and opened up the group to about 3/4".

I was a bit mad at myself for that and I'm sure I could have shot under 0.5" if I tried more but I was done and went home.

On the way out I saw the target of the dickhead cop and none of his groups were appreciably better than mine with a yanked shot.

So a police "sniper" with his fancy issue "sniper" rifle, a scope worth more than my whole gun and hand loaded match ammo was not any better than my parts built AR with a $200 or $250 Criterion barrel and Hornady box ammo. If I had tried a few more groups I'm sure at least one would have been way smaller than his best.

Looking back it's funny and usually I just tell the break in and 3/4" group story with the flyer blamed on an Amax melting tip.

 

[flyer]

Now that I think about it #3:

I was shooting with friends and one of them tried an AR with a two stage trigger. He pulled the trigger and nothing happened, let off and pulled again, same result, then complained to the owner who took the rifle and shot right away and said, you're just not pulling through the second stage of the trigger. So he got back on the gun and fired a shot. I don't remember why, maybe the magazine was empty after that shot but I offered him my AR to shoot and it had a Chip McCormick single stage trigger in it. So he pulled right through the first stage and bam, it fired surprising him again.

We all had a good laugh about that.

 

[joelinux]

No offense, but that's not saying much. I've shot against/with a number of different police forces/RCMP detachments, and almost ALL of them sucked. One guy hated his sidearm, and only touched it when he had to re qualify each year. I still don't know why he had that job.

Back to funny stories.

I have a friend at the local PD...

I keep teasing him that we went to the range, and I out-shot him, me with my H&K, and him using his service pistol.

He claimed that he could out-draw me. He might be right, so that's what I'm focusing on next.

I'm sure we will be drawing against a paper target, but if he wasn't, and I don't post for awhile, you know what happened.

 

[Faronth]

One weekend in 2000 I was at Ben Avery range with a buddy. Something we did with some regularity before marriage and children took care of all that free time. Anyway, it was a busy summer day and the line was full. Break was called and everyone did what ever they did to their targets and had made it back to the shooting line. Just as the range was about to go hot a rabbit hopped right onto the range and started working it’s way across the whole range perpendicular to the firing line. The range master came on the speakers and in perfect pitch, monotone, slow voice said, “Don’t even think about it”. Wish I had a recording of that range master. We all had a good laugh at that one.

The rabbit lived another day...

 

[Alphatreedog]

I got a few . Me and my buddies were at a local range pokin paper with rifles @ 100yds . My buddie's dad taps me to get my attention and points to two guys about eight tables down . One guy spotting and the other shooting . Everytime this guy shoots there is a puff of dirt maybe 20 -30 yds in front of the target . Don't know how but this guy was hitting paper . Anyway the spotter would call correction and then poof , dirt impact then paper . They devolved their communication into a four letter worded screqmin match about correction and " fuck you I'm outta dial " . It got to the point that the whole firing line and RSOs stopped to watch Abbott and Costello trying to sight in .
Me and two buddies shoot steel challenge together . So one particular match everyone was running crazy fast . So after my first stage I decided to just run balls to the wall . The RSO running the stage was so impressed that he started to serenade me with "Miss , Miss " . Got my shit straight on third stage but wound up 21 out of maybe 35 . So of my two buddies one puts in the time and puls solid middle pack and the other brings up the rear . Well evidently the stars aligned for the rear gaurd cause he smoked both Mr. Middle and myself . I was happy for him but after the fourth day of nose rubbin it started gettin old . So rear gaurd shot recently without us and reports he shot " bottom middle of the pack " . Day later he tells me I saw the results 30 out of 33 . So I kindly replied yeah cause that's the middle of the pack if the middle is touchin the edges .

 

[Dolomite_Supafly]

There was a guy a few lanes down from me having a miserable time sighting in his rifle. Rounds were all over the place with a lot of them keyholing. I walked over to help him then I saw it. He was shooting 7mm-08 out of his 308 rifle. I told him that was the wrong ammunition and he said the worker at Walmart told him 7mm-08 would work in a 308 Winchester.

I was shooting groups with a 22 I had, I had been there a while so I had quite a few empty boxes laying on my bench with me. The RSOs would put me on one end to keep the big booming guns away from me. A guy setup next to me with a gun that had a short, 16" barrel. I settled back into my gun then it happened. My eyes were forced closed, my bench was cleared of all those empty boxes and me ears were ringing despite wearing ear muffs. Thinking someone's gun just blew up I stood up and looked around but did not see anything. Then it happened again, boom. It was the guy next to me, his gun was spitting out a fireball the size of a basketball with every shot. I asked him what it was and he said it was a 7mm SAUM he had shortened to 16" to use as a brush gun. If he shot that thing in the brush he would have caused a fire.

Some friends were talking at a range and because they had hearing protection in they were talking louder than they normally would. RSO came over and told them to be quiet because they were making too much noise.

At one range there is a no rapid fire rule. One shooter decided to do a mag dump with his 1911. RSO came over and told him he should only need to shoot one shot. RSO said that he was a sniper and it only takes him one shot to get one kill.

Some guys were shooting plastic bottles with a shotgun. Getting tired of waiting until the range went cold to set them back up they sent a guy out to set them up while the range was still hot. That transitioned into the guy standing in front of the line and throwing the bottles up in the air so his buddies can try to shoot them.

Had a guy zeroing an AR. He set his target up at 50 yards and once the line went hot all the shooters began shooting, including him. Not seeing impacts on his target he walks out and inspects his target. Then he stops midway at 25 yards and kneels to shoot at his target again. No hits so he moves to about the 40 yard line to shoot again. At that point we called the line cold because people were still shooting on either side of him. The guy continued to shoot at his target and then got pissy when we told him he couldn't stand on the middle of the range while others were shooting.

Had a guy that was having problems with his AR. The trigger would not move so I told him it was probably a primer under the trigger. He refused to believe it so I started looking at his pile of reloaded brass and most were missing their primers. I broke the gun down and it was a primer but seeing most of his brass was missing their primers I asked what kind of load he was using and he said "Full". Not understanding what he meant I asked him to explain. He said he would fill the case all the way up then seat the bullet. I told him that was pretty dangerous and he dismissed me saying he had been doing it that way for years. I asked how many loadings he had on his brass and he said he had no idea. I packed up and left.

 

[Dolomite_Supafly]

On a range in Germany shooting belt fed machine guns. Mostly M60's but also some M2 50BMGs. Our targets had been 500-1000 meters. The targets were the size and shape of trucks. They would pop up then move until they got hit then they would fall over, reset and start over again. We had been at it for a little while when a target that looked like a truck came out of the woodline at about 800 meters and proceeded across the range from right to left. Thinking it was another target the shooters began to engage it and then the RSO's started screaming cease fire. Turns out a German worker was in the truck and ignored the fact the range was hot. Luckily the shooters weren't to good at leading moving targets otherwise the driver would have been hurt or killed. The bed of the truck was riddled with holes.

 

[GBMaryland]

I’m at the same range above on a holiday weekend, I don’t recall which one.

The place is packed.

Joe, the owner, has asked the regulars to watch for any safety issues on the range as the place is insanely busy.

Taking this to heart, which I would have anyway, I setup and keep my eyes open.

It doesn’t take long for a dude and his, frankly, drop dead georgous girlfriend to end up right next to me.

She’s wearing a bikini top... TO THE RANGE...

It becomes quickly appearant that neither the dude or the lady have much of a clue when it comes to fire arms use.

The guy is two handed firing his pistol with his thumb not on top of his other thumb and off to the side of the reciever, but one over the other under the slide. (At some point he’s gonna get his thumb hit as the slide comes back.)

The woman is firing a rifle, and looking damn good doing it. However, she’s not paying real great attention to her surroundings.

In a ceasefire I carefully say hello and point out to the dude that he might want to change his grip due to the type of semi-auto pistol he’s using; perhaphs if he was using a 45 with an extended grip safety it wouldnt be as much of a potental risk, but that he might want to consider being much more careful.

He basically tells me I’ve got not idea what I talking about.

“ Well, yeah, I was in the military and they did go over basic weapon safety. Now I know I was in the Air Force, and my expertise is more nuclear weapons than small arms… But I’m positive you need to be a little more careful and adjust your grip. I’m just trying to be friendly and prevent you from getting hurt.”

I then say to his lady friend... “I notice that your shooting that AR, and it’s a pretty nice rifle. A couple of time I’ve seen the brass ejecting right next to the wooded suport. You might to change positions with your guy so that you don’t catch any fliers coming back at you.”

She basically told me that I don’t know what I’m talking about. Rather rudely too. (Contrary to popular belief on the forum I am neither a scumbag or creepy... FWIW.)

Anyway, the range goes hot and they both get off about one magazine before the fun starts:

She fires the rifle and the now extremely hot brass bounces off the support beam and right into her top. Her top comes off giving my young 21-year-old self and eye full ( those suckers are definitely real.) and runs off toward the range house giving everybody else an eye full. ( The person running the register was a woman and that’s all I can think of as to why she went that way.)

Nearly simultaneously the dude fires his pistol, and the slide hits his thumb. I really didn’t think a little injury like that would bleed so much… but his thumb is fucked up by the sharp edges of the slide going right into the middle of his thumb.

Of course I would preferred to remember the topless AR shooter.

I did pick up a top and discreetly give it to one of the range officers.

( of course this all happened while I was going to get one of them…)

 

[KittieKatt]

with a row of rubber duckie targets. I think it was

Try shooting Peeps!!!! Hubby and I had a shoot off with a .300 Blackout AR and Pistols (mine Glock 19, his M&P 45).. I won.. =P

 

[ChadL]

Last fall I was at the range I belong to. I was shooting at the 600 yard range. I was the only one at that particular range. I was shooting my Desert Tech with a 308 barrel and suppressor. After a bit another member shows up and starts setting up right next to me. I was at the very end of the benches (right side). Didn't think much of it at first. Then he shoots his rifle. I don't know what the cartridge was, but it was definitely a magnum of some kind with an aggressive brake....LOUD! I didn't want to be a dick, but I asked the guy if he would mind moving down a couple of benches (since we're the only two). I told him his brake is very loud, and he told me no. Ok.....fine....So.....I then swap out my 308 barrel for my 300 norma barrel I had at the time. That barrel had a heathen brake on it. Nothing like 91 grains of Reloader 33 to get a guy to reconsider moving benches.....he moved.

 

[brianf]

skip all the "your shooting the wrong target, that ive seen dozens of times", especially around hunting season in NY
every jerk off comes out with their uncles bent SKS or lever 30-30 with a paper lunch bag of bullets...by the way they cant hit shit at 50 yards

it was worse up here before the last weapons ban and a whole lot worse in the 90's

the funniest shit i ever saw was out at Calverton Rifle Range (towards the bottom fork of long island ny), that place was the wild west back then. washer/ dryers TV's all types of crap. about 50 benches/rotten wood split between 200,100 and 50 yards.

as expected the 200 yard benches were usually filled with guys who could shoot or who wanted to learn, so they stayed away from the 50/100 guys.
One middle aged guy was standing shooting a 1022 with a mega sized mag at 50, a bunch of ducks fly over the range/sand pit and the guy stops shooting the target and pulls off about 15 shooting at the ducks. the bench next to him grabs the rifle and the rest involved the cops

now its time for the jerk guys at the range, that we all know and love:

brought my girlfriend (wife now), to a different town range. nice clean place, the local PD ran it so there was no BS but still fun.
100 and 50 about 10 spots each.

i brought a 308 (back when they were still cool to seen in public with) and i gave my wife a 22 bolt marlin i used to shoot.

she has shot with me before so it wasnt her first time (and i can say girls listen so much better when teaching them compared to boys/men), she became a pretty good shot as well

i get lucky and the 100 and 50 are open next to each other...perfect shes at 50 im next to her on a nice spring day at 100 ans
like most girls on a nice day she was wearing a tank top, shorts and sandals.

during a cease fire and 2 guys come down 25-30 yrs old and set on her side 1-2 benches down at 50
they take out a nice hunting/wood rifle that has a Hubble space telescope on it
must have been a 338 WM or a 375 big long action
i still have no idea what the scope was especially back in the early 2000's, it was like a spotting scope

like most men they stare at the pretty girl as shes shooting, and like most girls she has no idea its happening

they get off 5-6 shots before time is called again
every shot they would communicate where it was etc
BOOM...12..BOOM...6...BOOM...10...etc
sounded like a shot gun pattern

then BOOM...and ill never forget "where'd that one go"

i was like holy shit its 50 yards

all the time my girlfriend is in her own world loading the little 7 round mag
time is called, i tell her to get her target and we'll get some lunch
she asks if i need to get my target i told her i can see how i shoot with my scope im fine, but really i was watching the other 2 morons

they dont know im with her so i hear them talking like "girls cant shoot" regular crap you would say, nothing nasty
they guys get back before her and their paper looks like swiss cheese, nothing in the black of a old school NRA target

wife comes walking back to the benches and holds up her target..."hows this"
little groups on the sticky dots i put on there. like some one took a hole puncher

she had no idea why i started laughing, the other 2 guys promptly tore up the target in to pieces and tossed it

i actually had to sit down i was laughing so hard.

long winded but funny as shit

 

[seansmd]

I'm lined up and shooting at my local range, father and son show up and start unpacking, after about 5 minutes confusion sets in, followed by angry faces, and then arguing. Where's the damn ammo!


Offered them some as did the range, they head off home and roll back about an hour later a little happier.


I did a similar thing leaving the keys to my locking gun cases at home. I was pissed!

 

[brianf]

shit just rmemebered,
was summoned to my private range last week, usually that happens when they check the cameras and you F up

i had my brother down there about 2 weeks before and forgot to sign him in properly so i figured i would get chewed out for that and the pistol target wasnt against the stop (prob a few feet short of the stop, they get crazy about that)

my mistakes no prob, everyone needs a beating now and then

there were supposed to be 5 guys at this meeting 3 guys didnt show, so they get booted from the club
the other guy had his young kid there and wasnt being safe with his pistol
they show you the film time date stamped if you want

my turn...did you know what you did wrong

i fall on the sword..yes sign in and target not all the way down

they also said that i left a mess in the rifle area of 22 brass
i shot 22 before my brother showed up but i hadnt shot 22 in 10-15 years until i picked up a vudoo in feb 2019
but when i got my vudoo i made a brass catcher because i hate picking up 22lr brass..somthings wrong in my mind

not wanting to be disrespectful to the old guys i just took it because i was there anyway

i said "no, if you saw me then i did it"

3 75-80 year old men with a computer and mouse...i didnt have the heart to make them try and find my film
i get punished to a clean up day and leave

i get to the car, and the 22 brass is eating me up
i walk back knock on the door and ask for the film if possible

now their panties are in a bunch, like how could i ask
of course it took them a few painful minutes of age+bad hearing to get the "right date"

i see the date on the TV and its in 11/2018
i ask if the dates correct...no answer...i dont ask again figuring the tape will kill me anyway
film comes up and one of the guys says "its not him", i being pissy say "what was that"
one old guy to the head old guy...its not him

i suggest that i go get the sign in sheet so we can get the exact date and pull up the film...because i didnt shoot 22lr in that club "EVER"

now their are all stunned, stammering and mumbling for who is on the TV other BS

no one knows what to do, im standing there with a longer than usual pause and so are they it was actually funny

finally i break the ice and say "dont worry about finding my video, i prob did something wrong last year as well ill see you at the clean up. when you guys finally get to watching video from this year remember that i was here for the safety meeting"

they all knew i was being a dick, but it was supposed to be a scare tactic predetermined meeting...not so much

could have heard a pin drop when i walked out

 

[timesublime]

Clark Brothers Range circa 1989. The range was hot and people were going about their business when an older guy opens up with a FA AK. Bullets flying all over the place hitting other peoples targets and the sound under the canopy was deafening. RO tells him not to do it again. Fast forward two weeks and the range is closed for maintenance. They installed angled armor to prevent rounds from going over the 50' berm at 100 yards.

 

[Erno86]

I asked the scorer at a 200 yard rifle match who was in 1st place. I was so proud that he told me that I was in first place ---- He then told me that I was the only shooter to have my score posted...since the other shooters were yet to shoot.

No...I didn't win the match.

 

[joelinux]

the funniest shit i ever saw was out at Calverton Rifle Range (towards the bottom fork of long island ny), that place was the wild west back then. washer/ dryers TV's all types of crap. about 50 benches/rotten wood split between 200,100 and 50 yards.

That's quite a disparity of ranges.

So your choices at this range were either 50 yards, or almost 14 miles?

(I keed, I keed)

 

[hlee]

I'm lined up and shooting at my local range, father and son show up and start unpacking, after about 5 minutes confusion sets in, followed by angry faces, and then arguing. Where's the damn ammo!


Offered them some as did the range, they head off home and roll back about an hour later a little happier.


I did a similar thing leaving the keys to my locking gun cases at home. I was pissed!

I had a similar experience recently, except it was me without the ammo. I had brought 2 rifles to shoot, a 22 for an upcoming match and my 6.5 creedmoor. In finished shooting the 22 and went over to the 400 yard berm with the 6.5. "Where the F is the ammo? It's not in the range bag. I had it this morning. Well F. I guess I'm done for the day." Pack up and head home. A few days later I found the ammo... In the pockets of the rifle case.

 

[joelinux]

In the early days of shooting, a friend of mine took some pictures of himself, then got the school print shop to make life-size targets with appropriate size rings on himself for us to take out to the range.

We showed up and started setting up, when the management pulled us and said, "no shooting pictures of real people"

My friend whined in protest, "but it's ME!"

Management didn't buy it.

We had to take them to an unmanaged range to make use of them several months later.

It worked too, because he was a paaaasty dude, so the holes showed up really nice.

 

[GBMaryland]

OK, same range as the other posts… Like I said we tend to do some pretty stupid things.

This particular one I got when I was taking organic chemistry after getting out of the Air Force. Since this is nearly 30 years ago, it wasn’t really a big deal play around with compounds that might explode.

One day we got the idea to test something called, or at least what I’ll call, “yellow explosive…”

At the time I worked in a laboratory, so getting access to high-quality chemicals wasn’t exactly hard. The two ingredients required were extremely common, and they got mixed together very carefully in a one to one moler ratio.

For testing purposes we made about 1 tablespoon of the stuff and sandwiched 1 teaspoon between an aluminum disc and a brass disc, each about 5 inches in diameter.

I had just gotten the latest yellow pages and we placed the disks in the middle of the Yellow Pages, and bound the whole thing with tape longitudinally and horizontally.

For finishing touches we put a red target sticker in the middle of the phonebook so we had an aiming point.

We put the target down range at 25 yards and begin taking pot shots at it with our 45s.

Now it’s important to know what the environment looked like:

- It was a bad winter and there was about a foot of ice snow on the ground.

- The range house had a bunch of seats next to the plate glass windows were most of the old-timers would sit and watch what we were doing down range.

- Behind the walkway there was a shack with a rather impressive 1 inch plywood thick door.

- The walkway was in between the shed and the instructors range that we were doing this whole debacle from.

Anyway, we start shooting at the telephone book.

I shoot, my friend shoots, I shoot again...

<Woooommmmpppphhh!>

<Somethink passes right by my head>

<THUNK>

Humph...

<The cold winter wind blows the pages of the now perfectly laid out telephone book>

<The phone book BURSTS into ROARING flames>

I blink.

I blink some more.

It occurs to me that I was probably almost killed a few seconds ago.

<One of the old timers comes to the door and golf claps at us!>

<With two minutes the phone book is completely burnt to ashes.>

Humph. Who knew phone books were so flammable?

<Joe comes outside to check the equipment in the shed, given that there is a perfectly recentgular hole in the door that is 5in x 1in.>

I end the day sprinkling the other two teaspoons in the snow.

——

Stayed tuned for our next episode when GBMaryland explains why beer can mortars are a REALLY bad idea! No.... seriuosly.

 

[QuickNDirty]

No offense, but that's not saying much. I've shot against/with a number of different police forces/RCMP detachments, and almost ALL of them sucked. One guy hated his sidearm, and only touched it when he had to re qualify each year. I still don't know why he had that job.

Back to funny stories.

That reminds me of a time when my dad and I were fucking around at camp when I was a lot younger. I was shooting my BB gun and he called me over to let him take a shot. He popped a wasp at about 15 yards while it was hovering in the air. Impressed the hell out of me.

My dad is an old-school cop and carried wheel guns up until he retired a few years back, but he never really shot his service weapons for fun. Maybe a range trip or two throughout the year, and qualifications. Definitely doesn't fall into the category of "shitty shooter". Up until his last qualification he would outrun the auto-loaders AND score better with his 686. Cataracts fucked him up on that one.

 

[GBMaryland]

Did he get his cataracts fixed?

 

[QuickNDirty]

Did he get his cataracts fixed?

Yeah, old fart sees better than I do now. Not quite the 20/20 he was promised, but pretty damn close!

He did the fancier "near/far" correction so he doesn't need any corrective lenses or anything.

 

[GBMaryland]

Yeah, my old man was petrified about having the operation… And then he finally did it and couldn’t believe the difference. Same story....

 

[seansmd]

Great thread