Teaching The Wife

[aslrookie]

For those of you who have taught your significant other long range shooting, how did you start out with it? My wife was in the Marines, so she has a basic understanding of the fundamentals, safety and etc. It's just a matter of some refinement of the fundamentals. She wants to eventually compete in matches since she feels more comfortable with that right now vs something like USPSA.

She has shot with me in the past, but I basically had the rifle all setup and all she had to do was aim where I tell her and pull the trigger. I could just hand her a dope card and show her the turrets, but that's not going to help in the long run. I just don't want to start out with so much tech information that she just loses interest thinking you need to know calculus to shoot especially since math is not her strongest subject.

How did you teach them and keep it fun and interesting? Before you say "take a class," she won't do it until she's more comfortable with it first.

 

[MCHOG]

Sign both of you up for an intro to long range shooting class. Instruction from the husband will be a waste of time.

 

[Greg Langelius *]

How did you learn? What would you have done differently? Did you have formal instruction? Did the instructors do a good job; or could it have been better for you? How?

Then, do as MCHOG says; and keep those questions in mind for after the course is done and your Wife (maybe) having questions.

Don't anticipate the course; go into with a completely open mind, and be prepared to have your most treasured beliefs shredded and tossed by the wayside.

It happens.

Get Frank's book and read it, then give it to your Wife. Give; not loan.

Also excellent is Cleckner's book. I've purchased it five times myself, for family and shooting friends.

Giving books to friends and family is always an experiment. It yields quite true insight into their commitment, and yours.

Greg

 

[ShtrRdy]

Do you have any knowledgable friends you could trust to teach her correctly?

 

[Slash0311]

Ive been a LEO firearms instructor for 10 years. I think you bring up 2 different issues to address.

1. Teaching a spouse anything is difficult. She won't listen if she's still pissed about yesterday's commen on her cooking. Having that level of familiarity can also be tricky as you may assume she understands and she won't ask because she's afraid you'll think its a dumb question.

2. Women learn things and process things very differently than men. They tend to think much more literally. That means you have to be a little more careful when explaining things pr using examples.

These don't mean its impossible for you to teach her but definitely creates some challenges.

Good luck

 

[acudaowner]

its great to be able to share you passion of shooting with your spouse or children congrats .

 

[A&8's]

Like Slash, I, too, have been an LEO instructor since '92. My wife, LEO also, has been a range officer since '00. Two drastically different forms of shooting/instructing. One is qual/re-qual. Other is teaching FNG's which end not to look in. Personally, I would rather teach new females everyday of the week and twice on Sunday. They LISTEN. Notice I said "They." "They" is NOT your wife. You can piss off a student. Not a good idea for wife.

For competitive handgun shooting, IDPA or PPC. A lot more laid back as compared to other handgun comps.

For PR style, get involved in NRL22 style matches. Even if there isn't any local, it's cheap enough for you to buy everything needed. That's how my wife got interested PR style shooting, which lead to her starting to shoot CF matches this season. My biggest thing in teaching her PR, was to limit the information overload. 1 or 2 things at a session. It seems, unless a woman came up with the initial idea of PR shooting, they are not inclined to think about it every waking moment, like we do. Wait for her to ask, "So, other than dialing for distance, what other ways are there?" Trying to teach what mph gun she has and incorporate that with learning to read wind...yeah, that'll be info-overload. You can mention it, in passing, but let her come to you about it. She will, eventually.


Just my approach.

 

[Snuby642]

See if there are any womans shooting groups in your a o.

 

[DownhillFromHere]

I too have been an instructor of one sort or another for decades, but I'm a relative newcomer to precision rifle with almost 3 years in. My experience with PRS instructors is anyone can hang out a shingle. I'm thinking recommendations from members here would be a good idea.

One thing is sure and certain: a wise man does NOT try to teach his wife to shoot or to drive.

 

[Steel head]

Depends
Is she hot?

 

[Fishfullthinking]

One thing is sure and certain: a wise man does NOT try to teach his wife to shoot or to drive.

Smart both could get you killed hahaha

 

[antenna_farmer]

Have to echo others on teaching a spouse. Unless your spouse shows a truly open mind, i.e. comes to YOU and asks, "Will you teach me this?" it will only end in frustration and neither of you enjoying the sport. Being married changes the dynamic. For instance, I taught my first wife how to drive a manual transmission. BEFORE we were married. It went great. She got really good at it. AFTER we were married, no way in hell that would have worked. Once you put that ring on, you will be wrong about everything forever...

I'm now on my second marriage and things are a bit (a LOT) better. You have to have a relationship that is not competitive, and both must be humble about what they know and honest about what they don't. Shooting is a favorite pastime for my wife and I (she owns more guns than I do). Wife 2.0 is cross dominant, but has been making it work her whole life shooting right handed with her right eye (no one ever bothered to check for dominance and she had no idea) even through 6 years in the military. Does fairly well until it's time to knock clays out of the sky. She couldn't hit the broadside of a barn from the inside with a shotgun. After much convincing she finally let me try to straighten her out shooting left handed with her dominant left eye. It worked. For ONE HOUR she dusted clay after clay. Then said, "this feels weird" and has refused to do it since. I think it only felt weird because it meant I was RIGHT about something and we can't have that now can we?

Fast forward a couple years, and I wanted my wife to take more of an interest in long range/precision shooting. I built a Mk12 inspired 6.5 Grendel. She has a good deal of time behind the M4/M16 so it's already familiar. When it was finished, I handed it to her and said, "Here. This is YOURS." I meant it. It's not something I built for myself and justified it by calling it "hers". It is HER rifle. It doesn't leave the safe unless she takes it out. Once she got out on the range with it a couple times, she LOVED it. Even told me, "this is the sweetest rifle I've ever fired." She now shoots it more than any other gun she owns. So to the OP I would ask (only because it is not mentioned), does your Marine wife have a rifle that is hers and hers alone? Might sound like a strange question to ask, but when most of the guns in the safe are "ours" in some way it makes both of us more reluctant to use them. Make sense?

The advice to sign BOTH of you up to take a class is the best. Teaching a spouse anything seldom ends well unless the teaching is specifically asked for by the "student".

 

[Fishfullthinking]

I try to avoid the teaching almost everything even the small stuff. Never ends well for me with frustration on both sides. Glad to hear that I'm not the only 1 lol.

 

[Milo 2.5]

I try to avoid the teaching almost everything even the small stuff. Never ends well for me with frustration on both sides. Glad to hear that I'm not the only 1 lol.

The struggle is real. Any together project is dreaded, by both parties. I tried to teach mine to shoot pistol in the mid 90's, sat her on a bench so she had elbow support, I was behind her in the umpire stance, she gets a bullseye, promptly turns around for my approval, barrel under my chin, finger on the trigger. Well, that didn't end well, and the end.
Today, I would like to bring her for some LR shots, but I think my motivation may be selfish, she has more money than I do, my gun budget could triple, and it is dang high now.
I could be like The German, only a Norwegian version.

 

[Fishfullthinking]

Me- hey hun I just sharpened that knife it's razor sharp if you choke up on the handle and pinch the blade it's much safer.
Her- I know how to cut a tomato and use a knife just let me do it.
Me - ok I was just trying to help.
Her- like I don't know how to cut a tomato.

Stranger - o hey be careful that's a sharp knife you should hold it like this.
Her- wow that helps a lot thanks for the tip.

Baffling every time lol

 

[diggler1833]

My wife was a medical officer in the Army...so she had just a tiny amount of training (mostly before a deployment to AFG).

I was once a PMI in the Marines years ago (8531, later grandfathered into 0931/CMT)...we can damn sure take the fun out of shooting unless you are really competitive.

What I did was get her behind guns that damn near shoot themselves, like a good .223 bolt gun. Got the wife and her mother breaking clay targets at 200 right off the bat with my .223 trainer/varmint rifle, and then transitioned to paper. Tweak the most obvious errors so she can see an immediate impact, and then work from there. You have to keep the excitement up, or they'll mentally check out.

Sounds like the OP was on this track, so maybe add a distance element that requires her to dial or hold over. Might help to bring back the wow factor.

Just remember that very few significant others are going to be into this as much as you and adjust accordingly. My wife loves to garden, and I'll never find the enjoyment in growing a good squash.

 

[jgraves]

My advise is not to. You may be the best instructor on the planet but to her, you're just the dork she lives with and has to cook for. The same philosophy applies to family members and close friends. You have a relationship with them that is not instructor / student. That doesn't change when you go to the range.

Assuming your wife is interested (not you want her to be interested), there are a few approaches:
1) Just take her shooting with you and only provide advise when she asks for it. Always be receptive to questions and generous with information but a question is not an opportunity to demonstrate your superior knowledge and mastery. When she asks, give options and suggestions rather than command THE WAY to do something. Be supportive.
2) Have someone she doesn't know well offer advice. If she takes well to it, encourage them to become shooting buddies and let them have some space. This establishes the expert / student relationship with someone.
3) Suggest an all women's class. Many woman are more comfortable learning in a group of woman being the only woman in a class of male egos.

Another thing to keep in mind is woman are generally more interested in skills than the technical details and gadgets. No matter how into shooting she gets, she probably will never want to spend an evening discussing the trade-offs of 6 vs 6.5mm in different styles of PRS comps.

Jeff

Edit: after reading a the other replies, I'll reinforce a couple suggestions by others:
- Get her own rifle, adjusted to fit her, in a caliber suited to her, and the only time you touch it is to clean or maintain it.
- Take a class geared to her skill level together (not geared to your skill level). Keep my points above in mind. Try to set it up to be a pleasant experience (decent accommodation and some place / time likely to have comfortable weather).

PS My wife approves of this post