SMART ASS ANSWER #6
It was mealtime during an airline flight. 'Would you like
dinner?' the flight attendant asked John, seated in front.
'What are my choices?' John asked..
'Yes or no,' she replied.
SMART ASS ANSWER #5
A flight attendant was stationed at the departure gate to check tickets.
As a man approached, she extended her hand for the ticket and he opened
his trench coat and flashed her.
Without missing a beat, she said, 'Sir, I need to see your ticket, not your
stub.'
SMART ASS ANSWER #4
A lady was picking
through the frozen turkeys at the grocery store but she couldn't find
one big enough for her family.
She asked a stock boy, ' Do these turkeys get any bigger?'
The stock boy replied, 'No ma'am, they're dead.'
SMART ASS ANSWER #3
The police officer got out of his car as the kid who was stopped for
speeding rolled down his window.
'I've been waiting for you all day,' the officer said.
The kid replied, Yeah, well I got here as fast as I could.'
When the cop finally stopped laughing, he sent the kid on his way
without a ticket.
SMART ASS ANSWER #2
A truck driver was driving along on the freeway and noticed a sign
that read: Low Bridge Ahead.
Before he knows it, the bridge is right in front of him and his truck gets
wedged under it.
Cars are backed up for miles. Finally a police car comes up.
The cop gets out of his car and walks to the truck driver, puts his hands
on his hips and says, 'Got stuck, huh?'
The truck driver says, 'No, I was delivering this bridge and I ran out of gas.'
SMART ASS ANSWER OF THE YEAR 2008!!
A college teacher reminds her class of tomorrow's final exam.
'Now class, I won't tolerate any excuses for you not being here
tomorrow.
I might consider a nuclear attack or a serious
personal injury, illness, or a death in your immediate family, but that's
it, no other excuses whatsoever!'
A smart-ass student in the back of the room raised his hand and asked,
'What would you say if tomorrow I said I was suffering from complete and
utter sexual exhaustion?'
The entire class is reduced to laughter and snickering.
When silence was restored, the teacher smiled knowingly at the student, shook
her head and sweetly said, 'Well, I guess you'd have to write the exam with your other
hand.'
A BONUS EXTRA
A woman is standing
nude looking in the bedroom mirror.
She is not happy with what
she sees and says to her husband,
'I feel horrible; I look old, fat and ugly. I really
need you to pay me a compliment.'
The husband replies, 'Your eyesight's damn near perfect.
It was mealtime during an airline flight. 'Would you like
dinner?' the flight attendant asked John, seated in front.
'What are my choices?' John asked..
'Yes or no,' she replied.
SMART ASS ANSWER #5
A flight attendant was stationed at the departure gate to check tickets.
As a man approached, she extended her hand for the ticket and he opened
his trench coat and flashed her.
Without missing a beat, she said, 'Sir, I need to see your ticket, not your
stub.'
SMART ASS ANSWER #4
A lady was picking
through the frozen turkeys at the grocery store but she couldn't find
one big enough for her family.
She asked a stock boy, ' Do these turkeys get any bigger?'
The stock boy replied, 'No ma'am, they're dead.'
SMART ASS ANSWER #3
The police officer got out of his car as the kid who was stopped for
speeding rolled down his window.
'I've been waiting for you all day,' the officer said.
The kid replied, Yeah, well I got here as fast as I could.'
When the cop finally stopped laughing, he sent the kid on his way
without a ticket.
SMART ASS ANSWER #2
A truck driver was driving along on the freeway and noticed a sign
that read: Low Bridge Ahead.
Before he knows it, the bridge is right in front of him and his truck gets
wedged under it.
Cars are backed up for miles. Finally a police car comes up.
The cop gets out of his car and walks to the truck driver, puts his hands
on his hips and says, 'Got stuck, huh?'
The truck driver says, 'No, I was delivering this bridge and I ran out of gas.'
SMART ASS ANSWER OF THE YEAR 2008!!
A college teacher reminds her class of tomorrow's final exam.
'Now class, I won't tolerate any excuses for you not being here
tomorrow.
I might consider a nuclear attack or a serious
personal injury, illness, or a death in your immediate family, but that's
it, no other excuses whatsoever!'
A smart-ass student in the back of the room raised his hand and asked,
'What would you say if tomorrow I said I was suffering from complete and
utter sexual exhaustion?'
The entire class is reduced to laughter and snickering.
When silence was restored, the teacher smiled knowingly at the student, shook
her head and sweetly said, 'Well, I guess you'd have to write the exam with your other
hand.'
A BONUS EXTRA
A woman is standing
nude looking in the bedroom mirror.
She is not happy with what
she sees and says to her husband,
'I feel horrible; I look old, fat and ugly. I really
need you to pay me a compliment.'
The husband replies, 'Your eyesight's damn near perfect.
