I am less than a year from retiring the 3rd time in my life. As I wandered around work, taking readings and logging data I was reflecting on the worthless but required "exit interview". I wondered why they bother? Honestly, in my more than 40 years of fulltime employment I have never, EVER worked for a company, agency or government that gave a crap about what a spent employee had to say. Complain about your boss, they do not care, they frigging hired the idiot. Co workers?, They do not care, they hired those idiots too. Work policies or procedures, they do not care they wrote that crap to limit their own liability if you get killed or injured. Safety or cleanliness of the facilities? They certainly do not give two craps about that and they care even less about worker safety. Corruption, nepotism, workplace theft or time card cheats?............................................maybe. Because that might cost them money.
While it was not a retirement, I left active duty after a decade to join the National Guard. My unit had had three commanders in 6 months because of "downsizing and reorganization". I had to work until the day before I out-processed because we were so short handed. My boss had stopped me in the hallway and invited me into a meeting with the commander, 1st shirt and some of the unit officers. They asked me to attend the base commanders meeting to try and address the horrible morale and treatment of lower enlisted. I was an E-5 at the time. I politely declined and asked why? I reminded them I was departing in a few days and my morale was no longer an issue anyone should care about. The commander excitedly declared, "EXACTLY!" I gave a quizzical look. He said, "You can tell the truth without fear of retribution from the leadership. You would be doing the guys a huge favor. They cannot say what it going wrong because of what we will do to them........................you can."
The next week, I had to collect the last signature on my out-processing check list from a Major who had to idea who I was, he signed and said, "Thanks for coming out". I smiled an replied, "I came out for a decade btw." He just gave me an odd smile and sat there looking confused.
When I retired from the National Guard, my commander went room to room warning people to not speak to me. He claimed I was writing an IG complaint outlining the corrupt promotions, thieving and favoritism that was rampant in our unit. He was especially worried because for a female to make E-7 she was required to fuck him and this was a well known fact. He had hired call girls to come to his hotel room on one deployment. He was well known for his whoring, lying and cheating.
I had once stopped a simulated terrorist attack during a huge readiness inspection by exiting his bullshit meeting when I saw the simulated terrorists running towards the building. I simulated killed all four of them and made the inspectors day. I actually got an IG Outstanding Performer award and a big thank you.....................................from everyone but him. He accused me of being out there shooting bad guys because I was ditching his meeting and he called me foul names and cursed me like a 5'6" piece of shit LTC usually does. I wasn't polite back and told him that when he got home later, he better look up and thank fucking God I didn't have live ammo today. Ours was a relationship of mutual distain. I was very good at my job and he was very jealous of anyone over 6 feet tall and especially envied anyone who was good at their job, because he truly sucked at his job.
In the end, I had my buddies mail me the plaque, MSM and certificates of who gives a fuck because I really could have cared less. My exit form was brief. I said, "Promotions were rigged, the commander was a lecherous piece of garbage who demands sex from women to promote them, he uses his govt travel card to buy hookers and lacks any ability to lead." They promoted him to full Colonel less than a year later. Less than a year after that, he fired his secretary when she went on vacation and replaced her with a Waffle House waitress he was fucking. Civil Service and union rules prohibit firing people for refusing to have sex with their boss, this made for an awesome IG complaint and a great story on the local news. He "retired" shortly afterwards and his wife took 1/2 of his shit and moved on.
Six years ago, I retired from a municipal job after 20 years of it. I took this job in the mid-1990's after studying the pension plan. It paid 25% less than a comparable job elsewhere but once you had five years you were vested in the pension and once you were 50 years old, you could retire with a pension for life. The value in this job was the pension. I worked over 20 years and then started hunting for a new job to work while I double dipped. My old boss was at a different operation and instead of offering to be my reference, he offered me a chance to work for him again. I left my drunkard boss and moved on with two weeks notice and no retirement party. They asked my to come in for an "exit interview" I simply said, Why?" They insisted and I wasted an hour having this chat.
My current boss was a full blown alcoholic who had a 290 pounder for a girlfriend and he screwed this fatso in his office once or twice a week. She worked in a different location and came over for "lunch". His office stank of old booze and the worst tuna fish sandwich EVER. When they screwed her bulbous head banged off the wall and you could hear it in my office. It was as if he wrestled a greased pig in there. He missed meetings and important phone calls because he was blowing chowder in his favorite clam and always got pissed about it. "Why didn't you knock or let me know they were here???" I replied, "Really! Do you really want me to walk people into your office while you screw your girlfriend???" He got pissed and said, "You know I AM YOUR BOSS!!!!! You cannot say that!!!" I replied, "You know who's office is on the other side of that wall your chicks head bands against????" It got very, very quiet.
For my "exit interview" I pointed out for the 1,2 and 3 guys in the department and some front office HR lady, that I had no idea what my bosses work schedule was after almost two years. They looked chagrined to say the least. I told them he comes in by noon on Monday, before 10am on Tuesday and Wednesday and for a couple of random hours on Thursday, he takes lunch from 10a-230p daily and is gone by 3pm most days. He stinks of booze and screws a plumper in his office once or twice a week then goes to sleep for an hour to two when she leaves. A year after I retired they made him the department head.
A year after that they still could not figure out his work schedule. He held screaming meetings where he demanded to be obeyed because "I AM IN-Charge!!". He still nailed the plumper in his office once in a while but usually he let her blow him in the parking lot in the new BMW he bought with his promotion cash. He was fired unceremoniously one Thursday after yelling at the lesbians from Environmental Plans when they showed up to demand to be included in departmental projects and plans because they wanted to save the earth. He refused while hungover and it went poorly.
Well, the time is rapidly approaching for another departure, my last one if my plans work out correctly. This one is tough because of the covid. Apparently, every office type still "works from home" to avoid the common cold and has no intention of coming in, especially if it was to help an employee retire. My next door neighbor retired a few months ago, he had to do it online and thru Zoom meetings. His paperwork is so screwed up that he might have to reapply for his job ands try again next year. I had six questions on the benefits I am interested in retaining once retired, I've asked them and no one will reply in writing. They have all said, "Can we have a Zoom Meeting?" I told them I would record the meeting on my Go-Pro so that we have a record of it and now that is impossible as well. No one wants to get caught helping or making statements.
The woman I spoke too, did say there is a required exit interview with my bosses, boss. And a list of questions to answer before leaving the organization. I asked why? She said, "well during your exit interview you will be given a chance to speak freely about what goes on here that you think needs addressed". Again, I asked, "Why?"
While it was not a retirement, I left active duty after a decade to join the National Guard. My unit had had three commanders in 6 months because of "downsizing and reorganization". I had to work until the day before I out-processed because we were so short handed. My boss had stopped me in the hallway and invited me into a meeting with the commander, 1st shirt and some of the unit officers. They asked me to attend the base commanders meeting to try and address the horrible morale and treatment of lower enlisted. I was an E-5 at the time. I politely declined and asked why? I reminded them I was departing in a few days and my morale was no longer an issue anyone should care about. The commander excitedly declared, "EXACTLY!" I gave a quizzical look. He said, "You can tell the truth without fear of retribution from the leadership. You would be doing the guys a huge favor. They cannot say what it going wrong because of what we will do to them........................you can."
The next week, I had to collect the last signature on my out-processing check list from a Major who had to idea who I was, he signed and said, "Thanks for coming out". I smiled an replied, "I came out for a decade btw." He just gave me an odd smile and sat there looking confused.When I retired from the National Guard, my commander went room to room warning people to not speak to me. He claimed I was writing an IG complaint outlining the corrupt promotions, thieving and favoritism that was rampant in our unit. He was especially worried because for a female to make E-7 she was required to fuck him and this was a well known fact. He had hired call girls to come to his hotel room on one deployment. He was well known for his whoring, lying and cheating.
I had once stopped a simulated terrorist attack during a huge readiness inspection by exiting his bullshit meeting when I saw the simulated terrorists running towards the building. I simulated killed all four of them and made the inspectors day. I actually got an IG Outstanding Performer award and a big thank you.....................................from everyone but him. He accused me of being out there shooting bad guys because I was ditching his meeting and he called me foul names and cursed me like a 5'6" piece of shit LTC usually does. I wasn't polite back and told him that when he got home later, he better look up and thank fucking God I didn't have live ammo today. Ours was a relationship of mutual distain. I was very good at my job and he was very jealous of anyone over 6 feet tall and especially envied anyone who was good at their job, because he truly sucked at his job.
In the end, I had my buddies mail me the plaque, MSM and certificates of who gives a fuck because I really could have cared less. My exit form was brief. I said, "Promotions were rigged, the commander was a lecherous piece of garbage who demands sex from women to promote them, he uses his govt travel card to buy hookers and lacks any ability to lead." They promoted him to full Colonel less than a year later. Less than a year after that, he fired his secretary when she went on vacation and replaced her with a Waffle House waitress he was fucking. Civil Service and union rules prohibit firing people for refusing to have sex with their boss, this made for an awesome IG complaint and a great story on the local news. He "retired" shortly afterwards and his wife took 1/2 of his shit and moved on.
Six years ago, I retired from a municipal job after 20 years of it. I took this job in the mid-1990's after studying the pension plan. It paid 25% less than a comparable job elsewhere but once you had five years you were vested in the pension and once you were 50 years old, you could retire with a pension for life. The value in this job was the pension. I worked over 20 years and then started hunting for a new job to work while I double dipped. My old boss was at a different operation and instead of offering to be my reference, he offered me a chance to work for him again. I left my drunkard boss and moved on with two weeks notice and no retirement party. They asked my to come in for an "exit interview" I simply said, Why?" They insisted and I wasted an hour having this chat.
My current boss was a full blown alcoholic who had a 290 pounder for a girlfriend and he screwed this fatso in his office once or twice a week. She worked in a different location and came over for "lunch". His office stank of old booze and the worst tuna fish sandwich EVER. When they screwed her bulbous head banged off the wall and you could hear it in my office. It was as if he wrestled a greased pig in there. He missed meetings and important phone calls because he was blowing chowder in his favorite clam and always got pissed about it. "Why didn't you knock or let me know they were here???" I replied, "Really! Do you really want me to walk people into your office while you screw your girlfriend???" He got pissed and said, "You know I AM YOUR BOSS!!!!! You cannot say that!!!" I replied, "You know who's office is on the other side of that wall your chicks head bands against????" It got very, very quiet.
For my "exit interview" I pointed out for the 1,2 and 3 guys in the department and some front office HR lady, that I had no idea what my bosses work schedule was after almost two years. They looked chagrined to say the least. I told them he comes in by noon on Monday, before 10am on Tuesday and Wednesday and for a couple of random hours on Thursday, he takes lunch from 10a-230p daily and is gone by 3pm most days. He stinks of booze and screws a plumper in his office once or twice a week then goes to sleep for an hour to two when she leaves. A year after I retired they made him the department head.
A year after that they still could not figure out his work schedule. He held screaming meetings where he demanded to be obeyed because "I AM IN-Charge!!". He still nailed the plumper in his office once in a while but usually he let her blow him in the parking lot in the new BMW he bought with his promotion cash. He was fired unceremoniously one Thursday after yelling at the lesbians from Environmental Plans when they showed up to demand to be included in departmental projects and plans because they wanted to save the earth. He refused while hungover and it went poorly.
Well, the time is rapidly approaching for another departure, my last one if my plans work out correctly. This one is tough because of the covid. Apparently, every office type still "works from home" to avoid the common cold and has no intention of coming in, especially if it was to help an employee retire. My next door neighbor retired a few months ago, he had to do it online and thru Zoom meetings. His paperwork is so screwed up that he might have to reapply for his job ands try again next year. I had six questions on the benefits I am interested in retaining once retired, I've asked them and no one will reply in writing. They have all said, "Can we have a Zoom Meeting?" I told them I would record the meeting on my Go-Pro so that we have a record of it and now that is impossible as well. No one wants to get caught helping or making statements.
The woman I spoke too, did say there is a required exit interview with my bosses, boss. And a list of questions to answer before leaving the organization. I asked why? She said, "well during your exit interview you will be given a chance to speak freely about what goes on here that you think needs addressed". Again, I asked, "Why?"
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