What animal would you fight

[LaraCroft]

I thought about putting this in the meme thread, but... fuk it! Here it is!

If you had to go toe-to-toe with an animal in a ring, fighting for your life, but for a good show, what do you think you could take on??

Gimmie a good explanation!!!
Bonus points if the story is true. Double bonus for pics.

I know for a fact mine would not be a deer. I think I could take a goose, though. Grab it by the neck..

 

[E. Bryant]

Beware the 6% of women that think they could take on a grizzly. And avoid the 26% of men who don't think they could take on a house cat.

 

[FS1]

Can we bring a hell boy gun?

 

[Huskydriver]

I have used jiujitsu on my husky's before....it works ...lil side control to mount gotta watch those teeth tho.... He seems to enjoy it

 

[LaraCroft]

View attachment 7628220

Beware the 6% of women that think they could take on a grizzly. And avoid the 26% of men who don't think they could take on a house cat.

I saw that . I screw with no bear lol fools.

Cats are death machines man. But if 5'5 and 3/4 me can grab a feral death machine and throw it in a carrier, I pity the grown ass man who cant or is afraid.

I'll fuk up a goose.

Grrr

 

[Powder_Burns]

Fought a shark once, we called it a draw and swam off in opposite directions.

 

[LaraCroft]

Can we bring a hell boy gun?

Hmm. No lol

Bare hands!

 

[LaraCroft]

I have used jiujitsu on my husky's before....it works ...lil side control to mount gotta watch those teeth tho.... He seems to enjoy it

View attachment 7628222

Aww that one looks like it enjoys it though

 

[LaraCroft]

Fought a shark once, we called it a draw and swam off in opposite directions.

I've heard from divers that punching them in the snout works. Is that what you did?

 

[Jscb1b]

Do gummy bears count?

 

[FS1]

 

[diverdon]

I have used jiujitsu on my husky's before....it works ...lil side control to mount gotta watch those teeth tho.... He seems to enjoy it

View attachment 7628222

Yeah, but can you really call it a fight if one side is just playing?

 

[W54/XM-388]

Stupid question for stupid games.
Only modern city dwelling humans would consider it.

Any other intelligent life is first going to figure out what weapons can be made out of what is nearby to deal with the threat.

 

[LaraCroft]

Stupid question for stupid games.
Only modern city dwelling humans would consider it.

Any other intelligent life is first going to figure out what weapons can be made out of what is nearby to deal with the threat.

 

[Powder_Burns]

I've heard from divers that punching them in the snout works. Is that what you did?

No I stabbed it in the snout. In my case it only worked 50% of the time. Also, shark skin is really tough. Like auto body tough. Pushed off the shark with the first jab, no penetration at all.

 

[diverdon]

View attachment 7628220

Beware the 6% of women that think they could take on a grizzly. And avoid the 26% of men who don't think they could take on a house cat.

I fight with my wife sometimes. Those animals on your list, that would not be a fight, just a killing.

 

[LaraCroft]

I fight with my wife sometimes. Those animals on your list, that would not be a fight, just a killing.

Well, ya have to make it a show. For sport. Drag it out, ya know?

 

[LaraCroft]

I fight with my wife sometimes. Those animals on your list, that would not be a fight, just a killing.

So pick another animal. Whatcha want? Hippo? Elephant? Velociraptor?

 

[kl3309]

Nobody wanna do it? No?
















I choke chickens!

 

[LaraCroft]

What about roo fistycuffs?

 

[eca7891]

no penetration

They have pills for that

 

[Mike Casselton]

 

[diverdon]

So pick another animal. Whatcha want? Hippo? Elephant? Velociraptor?

They are still animals, you sneek into range and shoot them. Bigger animal bigger gun.

 

[LaraCroft]

They are still animals, you sneek into range and shoot them. Bigger animal

Fight not shoot.

 

[Seed tick]

I don’t see hamsters on the list. They are bad to the bone!

 

[1J04]

Howard fucked a Duck. Does that count?


On another note, I'd wrestle around with a Dik Dik, then curb stomp it just to see the kids faces.

I'm only up to Blue Boot regarding the level of Curb Stompness I'm currently at. And yes, next is Yellow Boot. I also enjoy Fur Seals in my spare time.......

 

[BLKWLFK9]

When training working dogs, i got into fights many many times with dogs. I'd end up bloody but i always ended up with the W. Sometimes that meant with them choked out cold, sometimes it meant they did what i initially wanted them to do but against their will, sometimes it meant my foot on their neck while pulling their leashes up until they stopped wigging out, etc. IDK if i ever "lost" a fight with a dog. I dont know of anything bigger than a working dog that i would want to go toe-to-toe with.

 

[Steel head]

You should see Bender take on a pigeon!

 

[stefan73]

Is this where someone makes the inappropriate "your mama" joke?

Just asking for a friend.

 

[powdahound76]

www.interspecieserotica.com for @Bender vids.

 

[1J04]

May I suggest Barnyard Follies? Both 1 and 2. Those crazy Danes.

 

[Texasflyer]

Why are we beating up animals? Im sure i could beat up a koala, i dont think i would want to, but i bet i could. Give him some eucalyptus and watch him get all bonked out.... them bam, koala steaks

 

[Texasflyer]

Wonder if they taste like vics vaborub?

 

[Lapuapalooza]

You should see Bender take on a pigeon!

No, no we shouldn’t. The stories are bad enough. I don’t need to be a witness too!

 

[Steel head]

No, no we shouldn’t. The stories are bad enough. I don’t need to be a witness too!

It’s certainly gruesome and not for the faint of heart.

 

[Huskydriver]

No, no we shouldn’t. The stories are bad enough. I don’t need to be a witness too!

Tyson chicken has @Bender under contact for selling his method of knocking the feathers off pigeons... apparently he is twice as fast as their current plucking machine lines

 

[Lapuapalooza]

Fortunately for the pigeons Bender is an 8 second cowboy!

 

[HiDesertELR]

Back when I thought I was bulletproof, and the only thing I was scared of was me... Out surveying a pond with a land bridge across the middle-ish, I decided I'd walk across and get the shots we needed to complete the job.

Well, the swans that decided to make their nest in the cattails, decided otherwise. If they could've talked, it would've been something along the lines of "NONE SHALL PASS". Pffft, fuck you swan, I go where I want.

Hoooooooooooooooooooleeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee Chit! That swan stood up, and the fucker's head was about 6 feet off the ground, and making an arching downward, bill-first, dive-bomb towards my pea-brain. I dropped the gear, and put hands up to wrap around it's neck. Yeah, bad move! I couldn't get both hands around his neck, and he thwacked me on the noggin, pretty good too.

OK, wrestling the swan won't work, let's try some knife-hand blocks with a little bob and weave... Nope! I could block him fine, but that damn bill kept sneakin' past my Bruce Lee knife-hands.

Suffice it to say, the neighborhood got a good show watching that swan kick my ass. I eventually made it past him, but not without a slight loss in pride, and taking the long way around the pond back to the truck.

So... yeah... I don't fuck with animals anymore. I'll tell you about the crazy cheetos-addicted raccoon at the camp site story later. THAT was traumatic. I still see his beady little eyes staring me down sometimes when the moonlight is just right.

 

[LeftyJason]

I don't think I could take a pissed off giant anteater.

 

[Jscb1b]

Somebody call PETA.

 

[weaselrunner]

I'd choke the hell out of a chicken....

 

[LaraCroft]

Back when I thought I was bulletproof, and the only thing I was scared of was me... Out surveying a pond with a land bridge across the middle-ish, I decided I'd walk across and get the shots we needed to complete the job.

Well, the swans that decided to make their nest in the cattails, decided otherwise. If they could've talked, it would've been something along the lines of "NONE SHALL PASS". Pffft, fuck you swan, I go where I want.

Hoooooooooooooooooooleeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee Chit! That swan stood up, and the fucker's head was about 6 feet off the ground, and making an arching downward, bill-first, dive-bomb towards my pea-brain. I dropped the gear, and put hands up to wrap around it's neck. Yeah, bad move! I couldn't get both hands around his neck, and he thwacked me on the noggin, pretty good too.

OK, wrestling the swan won't work, let's try some knife-hand blocks with a little bob and weave... Nope! I could block him fine, but that damn bill kept sneakin' past my Bruce Lee knife-hands.

Suffice it to say, the neighborhood got a good show watching that swan kick my ass. I eventually made it past him, but not without a slight loss in pride, and taking the long way around the pond back to the truck.

So... yeah... I don't fuck with animals anymore. I'll tell you about the crazy cheetos-addicted raccoon at the camp site story later. THAT was traumatic. I still see his beady little eyes staring me down sometimes when the moonlight is just right.

Omg... tell me about the raccoon please

Sorry about the swan, but that was funny as hell

 

[armorpl8chikn]

View attachment 7628220

Beware the 6% of women that think they could take on a grizzly. And avoid the 26% of men who don't think they could take on a house cat.

So quite a few people like their chances against a gorilla, as opposed to grizzly, lions, and elephant. Interesting.

The entire chart screams "i know so little about animals. "I can beat a chimp, but not a wolf."
Wow.
No knowledge of primates.
I'd fight almost anything on the list before I'd fight any of the Apes.
Which brings us to crocodile.....
Hell you've just got a strange fetish, about being crocodile shit.

Animal i'll fight bare handed?
Why the hell would I want to do that?
Humans have a big brain for a reason.

Eta:
I wouldn't fight a gorilla, armed with a pistol.

 

[BullGear]

It would depend on your definition of fight.

 

[Jscb1b]

The skinny smart monkey picked up a rock and beat the big stupid monkey's head in.

 

[LaraCroft]

Somebody call PITA.

Pita bread?

 

[Jscb1b]

People Eating Tasty Animals

 

[LaraCroft]

It would depend on your definition of fight.

I was thinking like bare hands. Anything but long range weapons. Make it more one on one. Use what's around you but not projectiles or explosives.

 

[oneshot86]

How do I post a video like mikie did here

 

[HiDesertELR]

Omg... tell me about the raccoon please

Sorry about the swan, but that was funny as hell

I might need a few drinks before I tell the Cheetos Raccoon story....