Same here... I am actually glad that I am not as pugilistic and pugnacious as I was in the past when I simply got down and dirty with no fucks given over even little things. Being one of the few Chinese kids who grew up in the hood (right near Fort Greene Projects on Nostrand Avenue), you just had to develop a certain mentality and attitude to not only survive, but earn respect and make friends. When me and my GF started dating in earnest a couple years back I had taken her to one of those super seedy and dingy blue-collar fast food cafes in the back part of NYC Chinatown where most of the clientele are FOB (fresh off the boat from China) bulldozer and crane jockeys from the numerous construction and bulk concrete/sand supply outlets on the block who only spoke hoarse and raspy cigarette-burned Cantonese, littered and spat and threw their garbage all over the place with absolutely no shred of decency or civility for anyone. The only reason why we went there was because that place had the only authentic Shanghainese rice-deep fried pastry/pork jerky roll called
Chi Fan Tuan that I loved so much and wanted to introduce her to. As soon as we walked in, one of these hobos occupying a table in the corner pointed right at my GF with his chopsticks, and with a full mouth, said "
bok guay", which meant "white devil", and the whole table began to guffaw. I turned right to him and said "Yo, if you gonna talk mad reckless you should just walk up to a man and say that shit right to him". At that, he immediately stood up, threw his chopsticks on the table and began squawking a mixture of Cantonese and English at me.
I fucking lost it at that moment. I walked right towards his direction and yelled: "Yo what up nigga? You standing up like you want to scrap. I am gonna lay you the fuck out right here in this bitch. Come on. Come at me you fucking pussy."
The manager and two other customers actually got up and stood in my way at this point. Meanwhile, FOB boy had pressed his back against the rear wall of the room. My GF stood by the door, looking completely terrified.
"Nigga you think you hard but youz' nothing but a punk bitch", I had continued. "I can knock you the fuck out and then rob all yo shit right in front of your homies and guess what? They ain't gonna do SHIT, B"...
At that moment, the manager said to me in Mandarin about "stop", and "don't want to get the police involved".
I answered back in English "I ain't gonna do shit, no worries. I ain't catching a case because of some fake ass hard boy. But you should tell yo boy over there that he shouldn't talk shit and expect people to not do anything".
I got our rice rolls and left... And spent the next block walked explaining to my crying GF why I bugged out on that mofo. There is no way in hell I was going to let that shit fly like that.
...Fast forward to last week. I had to deliver a load of lumber to a warehouse on that same block several buildings down from the eatery. As soon as I pulled the truck up in front of the warehouse I saw another delivery truck parked in front, 4-way flashers on. The driver, a black dude, seemed to be getting into it with a Chinese guy judging by the arm movements and raised voices. I pulled up nice and slow,
POW!!, popped my springbrakes, and got out to see what the fuck was up, as I needed to back into the loading dock where a Subaru was blocking the way, also with it's hazards flashing. Did not take 1 minute of listening... Seems like the Chinese guy was hoarding a parking space for someone. Non-commercial too. And pretty illegal in NYC. The delivery truck had slipped in and parked while the guy had momentarily walked away and was distracted by something and now the parking space warlord was furious. That delivery truck driver has got to be the coolest and most chill black dude I had ever seen, because all he did was just stand there, arms crossed, laughing, as the Chinese guy just heaped round after round of abuse at him.
Curb warlord: "YOU MODDAFOCKA! I FOCKA YOU IN THE ASSHOLE, YOU FOCKING FAGGOT. YOU LOOKA LIKE GAY, YOU MODDAFOCKA. GO TO HELL YOU FOCKING MONKEY. YOU LOOKA LIKE UGLY MONKEY. GO BACKA TO AFIRICA. I FOCKA YOU AND YOU FAMALY!"
Delivery guy: (Laughing, shrugging shoulders) "I am already here. I ain't giving up this space. I got a delivery to make. Call the muthafucking cops if you think I did something wrong"...
Right then, I had walked up next to the delivery guy's side and facing the ranting clown, the biggest grin on my face, and arms outstretched in an exaggerated "what's up" gesture.
Me: "Yo, it seems like the only guy that's gay here...is YOU, B... Nobody's talking about sucking dick except you, flaming the fuck out like somebody's crack pipe on fire... You iight, homie???". (Delivery guy was laughing so hard that his keys and phone had fell out of his pockets onto the asphalt)
Curb clown: "FOCKA YOU! FOCKA YOU! YOU MODDA IS A MAN! (Starts to flex his arms like a fighting stance) YOU WANNA PROBLEM? YOU WANNA PROBLEM, FOCKING FAGGOT?"
Me: (Pushing my beanie back, taking off my reflective vest and throwing it onto the hood of my truck) "WHOAH YO, YO! You see that shit, fam?" (Turning to the delivery guy) "Homie think he is a hard nigga, flexing and shit. Yo, you want to talk all that shit, talk all the shit you want. You flex at me, that means you want to go down. And once I start swinging, I ain't gonna stop till yo ass is down and snoring on the street... You really want to go that route, B???"
At that point the punk stopped his aggressive stance, pulling out his phone instead and taking pictures of our license plates and threatening to "report" us. The delivery guy had already taken pics of the asshat and was telling him to go ahead and do as he please. (The Subaru had already drove off slowly a moment ago. I assume it had been another driver who got cowed by the curb warlord's shit and did not want to argue with him)
The only people worse than illegal immigrants around here and with whom I got into more problems with, are fucking Cantonese FOBs.