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Maggie’s Funny & awesome pics, vids and memes thread (work safe, no nudity)

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Deep thoughts for the day...

"When ye belly is fulleth with the evening feasting on fish, fowl and the fatted calf and have put away ye sword, buckler, dagger, and body armor be content to lieth in ye bed and rest ye head on the bosom of ye SWMBO. Yea, neglect not ye firestick. Keepeth it loaded with leaden seeds of freedom that turneth into mushrooms in the bodies of thine enemies. Keepeth it clean and anointed with oil. And if ye have let the rust creepeth into the bowels of ye firestick may ye be cursed among gunslingers and hold thy manhood cheap. Showeth not thine face among the armed brethren that dwelleth in the gun clubs and marketplace of the firesticks. Harken unto these words so that when the unclean human pieces of excrement crosseth thine doorway that ye may filleth their bowels with leaden seeds that turneth into mushrooms and turneth them into worm food." – From the Book of Armaments 9:11

"Thy" not "ye"
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Brings back memories. My grandparents always had a candy dish with Brach’s Butterscotch hard candies in it. ALWAYS.

And, yes - I got my sweet tooth from my grandparents. Grandfather liked a piece of cake or pie after every meal. Grandmother had a dish of ice cream every day. Neither of them was overweight. They worked hard every day.

Cancer took him “early“ at 76. Alzheimer’s took her mind at 94, but not her body till 99. Long enough ago that I only have good memories- like the butterscotch candy dish.
 

As a much younger man I worked summers filling vending machines. The Hostess guy showed up at 5 am every weekday. No blueberry but during the summer months we got strawberry. We sold them for 75 cents.

Now, I’m not saying I ever stole any, I considered sampling in the name of product quality supervision to be a vital duty of the job.




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My mom’s Olds Regency 98. My dad and I went to look at it and ended up buying it. On the way home he romped down on it on hwy 70 between Clayton and Smithfield. The speedo was a long sweeping unit and at some point when that 455 was really eating he yelled “Hey open the glove box!”. I did and said “What am I looking for?!”. He said “The speedometer!” And laughed like a madman 😆

My dad had owned some bad ass cars but never drove hard with me in the car until that day. My brain had some part switch on that day and at 12 I became obsessed with all things automotive. I got Car Craft and Hot Rod magazines for 20 years til they went to shite. Built some good cars, spent 20 years in the dealership, ASE Master Tech, service writer, manager, Snapon dealer…..

All because of that day. Thanks dad.

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