Maggie’s Funny & awesome pics, vids and memes thread (work safe, no nudity)
- Thread starter Lawless
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Your assessment of our president is pretty accurate, but, we are citizens...... NOT subjects.And how's that working out for you with your (in my opinion) morally bankrupt, incontinent, senile dementia patient for your president
Funny… I expected that Lufthansa would have been the market leader here…. @TheGerman must be slipping…
Airlines To Now Allow First Class To Whip Coach Passengers With Pool Noodles And Shout 'Poors! Look At The Poors!' As They Walk By
U.S. — In a bid to enhance the luxury experience of first-class passengers, airlines have introduced a new perk allowing them to smack everyone flying in coach with pool noodles all while shouting, "Poors! Filthy Poors!" as they pass by.babylonbee.com
Sirhr
I don't think they fly to Cabo where I go to flex on the poors at a 5 star that I don't even get a room at, but have a 2 story house on with a pool on the roof.
But I do like the hitting everyone with pool noodles where I go. I'll carry one around that I make look like a Field Marshal's baton.
I was a cook at Bonanza my senior year of high school. I learned …. a lot about life. I also invented fried pickles in 1988 long before they were a thing in some restaurants.
I used to feel like a pro working 3 pedals to keep my pos from stalling at red lights. No more.
I have a feeling we did not see the manual fuel injection part
The floorboards remind me of the 58 Chevy wagon we had...as kids we had to learn to not drop our toys on the floor, otherwise it would be gone...LOL
I hadn't either. Had to look it up once I saw your post. Pretty sure that's also around the same time they'd just hose kids down with DDT too.Never heard the term...and I'm definitely a "boomer"
I had a white 62 Sport Fury with a 361.
Beats sitting in my 2yr old daughter's 3ft kiddy pool drinking beer before working tonight. Not sure if the waters warm from pee or the 100°day
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What a coincidence, I just opened one of those. The booze stores around here are all sold out of Miller High Life in cans...Beats sitting in my 2yr old daughter's 3ft kiddy pool drinking beer before working tonight. Not sure if the waters warm from pee or the 100°day
Wow! What a coincidence, I wonder if you guys have matching panties on!!!!!What a coincidence, I just opened one of those. The booze stores around here are all sold out of Miller High Life in cans...
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They probably have lots of bud light for really cheap.What a coincidence, I just opened one of those. The booze stores around here are all sold out of Miller High Life in cans...
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This is the Gospel, from The Voyage of the Dawn Treader.
Read it, then read it again.
[A]nyway, I looked up and saw the very last thing I expected: a huge lion coming towards me. And one queer thing was that there was no moon last night, but there was moonlight where the lion was. So it came nearer and nearer. I was terribly afraid of it. You may think that, being a dragon, I could have knocked any lion out easily enough. But it wasn’t that kind of fear. I wasn’t afraid of it eating me, I was just afraid of it — if you can understand. Well, it came close up to me and looked straight into my eyes. And I shut my eyes tight. But that wasn’t any good because it told me to follow it. …
And I knew I’d have to do what it told me, so I got up and followed it. And it led me a long way into the mountains. And there was always this moonlight over and round where the lion wherever he went. So at last we came to the top of a mountain I’d never seen before and on the top of this mountain there was a garden — trees and fruit and everything. In the middle of it, there was a well.
I knew it was a well because you could see the water bubbling up from the bottom of it: but it was a lot bigger than most wells — like a very big round bath, with marble steps going down into it. The water was as clear as anything and I thought if I could just get in there and bathe, it would ease the pain in my leg. But the lion told me I must undress first. Mind you, I don’t know if he said any words out loud or not.
I was just going to say that I couldn’t undress because I hadn’t any clothes on when I suddenly thought that dragons are snaky sort of things and snakes can cast their skins. Oh, of course, thought I, that’s what the lion means. So I started scratching myself and my scales began coming off all over the place. And then I scratched a little deeper and, instead of just scales coming off here and there, my whole skin started peeling off beautifully, like it does after an illness, or as if I was a banana. In minute or two I just stepped out of it. I could see it lying there beside me, looking rather nasty. It was a most lovely feeling. So I started to go down into the well for my bathe.
But just as I was going to put my feet into the water I looked down and saw that they were all hard and rough and wrinkled and scaly just as they had been before. Oh, that’s all right, said I, it only means that I’ll have to get out of it too. So I scratched and tore again and this underskin peeled off beautifully and out I stepped and left it lying beside the other one and went down to the well for my bathe.
Well, exactly the same thing happened again. And I thought to myself, oh dear, how ever many skins have I got to take off? For I was longing to bathe my leg. So I scratched away for the third time and got off a third skin just like the two others, and stepped out of it. But as soon as I looked at myself in the water I knew it had been no good.
Then the lion said — but I don’t know if it spoke — “You will have to let me undress you.” I was afraid of his claws, I can tell you, but I was pretty nearly desperate now. So I just lay down flat on my back to let him do it.
The very first tear he made was so deep that I thought it had gone right into my heart. And when he began pulling the skin off, it hurt worse than anything I’ve ever felt. The only thing that made me able to bear it was just the pleasure of feeling the stuff peel off. You know — if you’ve ever picked the scab off a sore place. It hurts like the billy-oh, but it is fun to see it coming away. …
Well, he peeled the beastly stuff right off — just as I thought I’d done myself the other three times, only they hadn’t hurt — and there it was, lying on the grass: only ever so much thicker, and darker, and more knobbly looking than the others had been. And there was I as smooth and soft as a peeled switch and smaller than I had been. Then he caught hold of me — I didn’t like that much for I was very tender underneath now that I’d no skin on — and threw me into the water. It smarted like anything but only for a moment. After that it became perfectly delicious and as soon as I started swimming and splashing I found that all the pain had gone from my arm. And then I saw why. I’d turned into a boy again. …
After a bit the lion took me out and dressed me … [H]e did somehow or other; in new clothes — the same I’ve got on now, as a matter of fact. And then suddenly I was back here.
Read it, then read it again.
[A]nyway, I looked up and saw the very last thing I expected: a huge lion coming towards me. And one queer thing was that there was no moon last night, but there was moonlight where the lion was. So it came nearer and nearer. I was terribly afraid of it. You may think that, being a dragon, I could have knocked any lion out easily enough. But it wasn’t that kind of fear. I wasn’t afraid of it eating me, I was just afraid of it — if you can understand. Well, it came close up to me and looked straight into my eyes. And I shut my eyes tight. But that wasn’t any good because it told me to follow it. …
And I knew I’d have to do what it told me, so I got up and followed it. And it led me a long way into the mountains. And there was always this moonlight over and round where the lion wherever he went. So at last we came to the top of a mountain I’d never seen before and on the top of this mountain there was a garden — trees and fruit and everything. In the middle of it, there was a well.
I knew it was a well because you could see the water bubbling up from the bottom of it: but it was a lot bigger than most wells — like a very big round bath, with marble steps going down into it. The water was as clear as anything and I thought if I could just get in there and bathe, it would ease the pain in my leg. But the lion told me I must undress first. Mind you, I don’t know if he said any words out loud or not.
I was just going to say that I couldn’t undress because I hadn’t any clothes on when I suddenly thought that dragons are snaky sort of things and snakes can cast their skins. Oh, of course, thought I, that’s what the lion means. So I started scratching myself and my scales began coming off all over the place. And then I scratched a little deeper and, instead of just scales coming off here and there, my whole skin started peeling off beautifully, like it does after an illness, or as if I was a banana. In minute or two I just stepped out of it. I could see it lying there beside me, looking rather nasty. It was a most lovely feeling. So I started to go down into the well for my bathe.
But just as I was going to put my feet into the water I looked down and saw that they were all hard and rough and wrinkled and scaly just as they had been before. Oh, that’s all right, said I, it only means that I’ll have to get out of it too. So I scratched and tore again and this underskin peeled off beautifully and out I stepped and left it lying beside the other one and went down to the well for my bathe.
Well, exactly the same thing happened again. And I thought to myself, oh dear, how ever many skins have I got to take off? For I was longing to bathe my leg. So I scratched away for the third time and got off a third skin just like the two others, and stepped out of it. But as soon as I looked at myself in the water I knew it had been no good.
Then the lion said — but I don’t know if it spoke — “You will have to let me undress you.” I was afraid of his claws, I can tell you, but I was pretty nearly desperate now. So I just lay down flat on my back to let him do it.
The very first tear he made was so deep that I thought it had gone right into my heart. And when he began pulling the skin off, it hurt worse than anything I’ve ever felt. The only thing that made me able to bear it was just the pleasure of feeling the stuff peel off. You know — if you’ve ever picked the scab off a sore place. It hurts like the billy-oh, but it is fun to see it coming away. …
Well, he peeled the beastly stuff right off — just as I thought I’d done myself the other three times, only they hadn’t hurt — and there it was, lying on the grass: only ever so much thicker, and darker, and more knobbly looking than the others had been. And there was I as smooth and soft as a peeled switch and smaller than I had been. Then he caught hold of me — I didn’t like that much for I was very tender underneath now that I’d no skin on — and threw me into the water. It smarted like anything but only for a moment. After that it became perfectly delicious and as soon as I started swimming and splashing I found that all the pain had gone from my arm. And then I saw why. I’d turned into a boy again. …
After a bit the lion took me out and dressed me … [H]e did somehow or other; in new clothes — the same I’ve got on now, as a matter of fact. And then suddenly I was back here.
I went to three liquor stores looking for MHL cans, all of them were well stocked with that garbage.
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