Maggie’s Funny & awesome pics, vids and memes thread (work safe, no nudity)

#106,551
1744800880079-png.436717
 
  • Like
  • Haha
Reactions: Keith E., gigamortis, Blue Sky Country and 5 others
#106,555
Maggot said:
Some words to the wise. Shooting Advice from various Concealed Carry Instructors. If you own a gun, you will appreciate this. If not, you should get one and learn how to use it:
●Guns have only two enemies: rust and politicians.
●It's always better to be judged by 12 than carried by 6.
●Cops carry guns to protect themselves, not you.
●Never let someone or something that threatens you get inside arms length.
●Never say "I've got a gun." If you need to use deadly force, the first sound they hear should be the safety clicking off. (I prefer the sound of a round being chambered when you load a shotgun)
●The average response time of a 911 call is 23 minutes, the response time of a .357 is 1400 feet per second.
●The most important rule in a gunfight is: Always win - cheat if necessary.
●Make your attacker advance through a wall of bullets . . . You may get killed with your own gun, but he'll have to beat you to death with it, cause it'll be empty.
If you're in a gun fight:
1. If you're not shooting, you should be loading.
2. If you're not loading, you should be moving,
3. If you're not moving', you're dead.
● In a life and death situation, do something . . . It may be wrong, but do something!
●If you carry a gun, people call you paranoid. Nonsense! If you have a gun, what do you have to be paranoid about? (I call it being prepared)
●You can say 'stop' or 'alto' or any other word, but a large bore muzzle pointed at someone's head is pretty much a universal language. AMEN!
●You cannot save the planet, but you may be able to save yourself and your family.
If you believe in the 2nd Amendment, please forward.
Click to expand...

Agree to most everything but this in regards to a shotgun…..
“( I prefer the sound of a round being chambered when you load a shotgun)”
All they might hear is me taking it off safety. Already have a round in the chamber. 👍
 
  • Like
  • Haha
Reactions: Winningdog, Keeper22, Marinevet1 and 3 others
#106,565
Emerson0311 said:
A plant who is loud, proud, and unrepentant. One of many in uniform. In Canukistan, most actually patriotic generals and full birds were purged by Trudeau over the last 10 years.
Click to expand...
Fat and Ugly is bad enough but add in stupid and you end up with...

1745255028566.png
 
  • Like
Reactions: Keith E. and klf
#106,567
Back in the day, most people got married in June because they took their yearly bath in May, and they still smelled pretty good by June. Since they were starting to smell, however, brides carried a bouquet of flowers to hide the body odor. Hence the custom today of carrying a bouquet when getting married.Baths consisted of a big tub filled with hot water. The man of the house had the privilege of the nice clean water, then all the other sons and men, then the women, and finally the children. Last of all the babies. By then the water was so dirty you could actually lose someone in it … hence the saying, “Don’t throw the baby out with the Bath water!”Houses had thatched roofs-thick straw-piled high, with no wood underneath. It was the only place for animals to get warm, so all the cats and other small animals (mice, bugs) lived in the roof. When it rained it became slippery and sometimes the animals would slip and fall off the roof, resulting in the idiom, “It’s raining cats and dogs.”There was nothing to stop things from falling into the house. This posed a real problem in the bedroom where bugs and other droppings could mess up your nice clean bed, therefore, a bed with big posts and a sheet hung over the top afforded some protection. That’s how canopy beds came into existence.The floor was dirt. Only the wealthy had something other than dirt, leading folks to coin the phrase “dirt poor.”The wealthy had slate floors that would get slippery in the winter when wet, so they spread thresh (straw) on floor to help keep their footing. As the winter wore on, they added more thresh until, when you opened the door, it would all start slipping outside. A piece of wood was placed in the entrance-way, subsequently creating a “thresh hold.”In those old days, they cooked in the kitchen with a big kettle that always hung over the fire.. Every day they lit the fire and added things to the pot. They ate mostly vegetables and did not get much meat. They would eat the stew for dinner, leaving leftovers in the pot to get cold overnight and then start over the next day. Sometimes stew had food in it that had been there for quite a while, and thus the rhyme, “Peas porridge hot, peas porridge cold, peas porridge in the pot nine days old.”Sometimes they could obtain pork, which made them feel quite special. When visitors came over, they would hang up their bacon to show off. It was a sign of wealth that a man could, “bring home the bacon.” They would cut off a little to share with guests and would all sit around and “chew the fat.”Those with money had plates made of pewter. Food with high acid content caused some of the lead to leach onto the food, causing lead poisoning death. This happened most often with tomatoes, so for the next 400 years or so, tomatoes were considered poisonous.Bread was divided according to status. Workers got the burnt bottom of the loaf, the family got the middle, and guests got the top, or the “upper crust.”Lead cups were used to drink ale or whisky. The combination would sometimes knock the imbibers out for a couple of days. Someone walking along the road would take them for dead and prepare them for burial.. They were laid out on the kitchen table for a couple of days and the family would gather around and eat and drink and wait and see if they would wake up, creating the custom of holding a wake.They used to use urine to tan animal skins, so families used to all pee in a pot & then once a day it was taken & sold to the tannery. If you had to do this to survive you were “piss poor.”But worse than that were the really poor folk who couldn’t even afford to buy a pot; they “didn’t have a pot to piss in” & were the lowest of the low.The next time you are washing your hands & complain because the water temperature isn’t just how you like it, think about how things used to be.
 
  • Wow
  • Like
Reactions: Beefmanne, gigamortis, Lange Carabine and 3 others
#106,569
oldshooterback said:
Back in the day, most people got married in June because they took their yearly bath in May, and they still smelled pretty good by June. Since they were starting to smell, however, brides carried a bouquet of flowers to hide the body odor. Hence the custom today of carrying a bouquet when getting married.Baths consisted of a big tub filled with hot water. The man of the house had the privilege of the nice clean water, then all the other sons and men, then the women, and finally the children. Last of all the babies. By then the water was so dirty you could actually lose someone in it … hence the saying, “Don’t throw the baby out with the Bath water!”Houses had thatched roofs-thick straw-piled high, with no wood underneath. It was the only place for animals to get warm, so all the cats and other small animals (mice, bugs) lived in the roof. When it rained it became slippery and sometimes the animals would slip and fall off the roof, resulting in the idiom, “It’s raining cats and dogs.”There was nothing to stop things from falling into the house. This posed a real problem in the bedroom where bugs and other droppings could mess up your nice clean bed, therefore, a bed with big posts and a sheet hung over the top afforded some protection. That’s how canopy beds came into existence.The floor was dirt. Only the wealthy had something other than dirt, leading folks to coin the phrase “dirt poor.”The wealthy had slate floors that would get slippery in the winter when wet, so they spread thresh (straw) on floor to help keep their footing. As the winter wore on, they added more thresh until, when you opened the door, it would all start slipping outside. A piece of wood was placed in the entrance-way, subsequently creating a “thresh hold.”In those old days, they cooked in the kitchen with a big kettle that always hung over the fire.. Every day they lit the fire and added things to the pot. They ate mostly vegetables and did not get much meat. They would eat the stew for dinner, leaving leftovers in the pot to get cold overnight and then start over the next day. Sometimes stew had food in it that had been there for quite a while, and thus the rhyme, “Peas porridge hot, peas porridge cold, peas porridge in the pot nine days old.”Sometimes they could obtain pork, which made them feel quite special. When visitors came over, they would hang up their bacon to show off. It was a sign of wealth that a man could, “bring home the bacon.” They would cut off a little to share with guests and would all sit around and “chew the fat.”Those with money had plates made of pewter. Food with high acid content caused some of the lead to leach onto the food, causing lead poisoning death. This happened most often with tomatoes, so for the next 400 years or so, tomatoes were considered poisonous.Bread was divided according to status. Workers got the burnt bottom of the loaf, the family got the middle, and guests got the top, or the “upper crust.”Lead cups were used to drink ale or whisky. The combination would sometimes knock the imbibers out for a couple of days. Someone walking along the road would take them for dead and prepare them for burial.. They were laid out on the kitchen table for a couple of days and the family would gather around and eat and drink and wait and see if they would wake up, creating the custom of holding a wake.They used to use urine to tan animal skins, so families used to all pee in a pot & then once a day it was taken & sold to the tannery. If you had to do this to survive you were “piss poor.”But worse than that were the really poor folk who couldn’t even afford to buy a pot; they “didn’t have a pot to piss in” & were the lowest of the low.The next time you are washing your hands & complain because the water temperature isn’t just how you like it, think about how things used to be.
Click to expand...

Wow !!
That’s some good words ! Being 71 years old and growing up in the South , I’ve heard lots of what you wrote , but never actually knew the origins.
I learned something today , thanks 👍
 
#106,578
Sandhog308 said:
Wow !!
That’s some good words ! Being 71 years old and growing up in the South , I’ve heard lots of what you wrote , but never actually knew the origins.
I learned something today , thanks 👍
Click to expand...
Fear not. A couple minutes with google will prove pretty much all of it to be industrial grade organic fertilizer.
 
Last edited:
  • Like
Reactions: Ltcg
#106,580
sirhrmechanic said:
Somone got to pattern their shotgun before turkey season... AND keep their catalytic converter!

View attachment 8669688


Chalk this up to win-win!

Someone is gonna have a wicked tough time getting a tat in the future, too!

Sirhr
Click to expand...


YEEPS! That look about as agonizing as it can get, as well as embarrassing too. Now imagine if that shell was loaded with rock salt... Or parasitic worm larvae... :ROFLMAO:

The question is not "what can you load in a shotgun shell?", but "WHAT CAN'T YOU LOAD IN A SHOTGUN SHELL?" There had been the folktale of a Union gunboat towards the end of the Civil War which had lost course during a bad storm and ended up deep inside hostile Indian territory. The crew did not expect hostilities at the start of their journey and the ship's deck guns were not loaded, with only one charge of powder for each next to them, and the shells were locked away in the magazine deep within the ironclad's bowels. As the enemy warriors tried to board the gunboat, the captain, using his quickest wits, ordered the crew to bring balls of cheese from the mess section as it was much closer, pack them above the powder and had the first couple of deck batteries discharged into the mass of attacking hostiles. The barrage of cheese at roughly 2000 FPS out of the 12 pounders eliminated the first wave of the attackers and the rest beat feet out of there fast once they saw what the smoke-spewing ironclad was capable of.
 
#106,581
Blue Sky Country said:
YEEPS! That look about as agonizing as it can get, as well as embarrassing too. Now imagine if that shell was loaded with rock salt... Or parasitic worm larvae... :ROFLMAO:

The question is not "what can you load in a shotgun shell?", but "WHAT CAN'T YOU LOAD IN A SHOTGUN SHELL?" There had been the folktale of a Union gunboat towards the end of the Civil War which had lost course during a bad storm and ended up deep inside hostile Indian territory. As the enemy warriors were attempting to board the steamer the crew did not expect hostilities at the start of their journey and the ship's deck guns were not loaded, with only one charge of powder for each next to them, and the shells were locked away in the magazine deep within the ironclad's bowels. The captain, using his quickest wits, ordered the crew to bring balls of cheese from the mess section as it was much closer, pack them above the powder and had the first couple of deck batteries discharged into the mass of attacking hostiles. The barrage of cheese at roughly 2000 FPS out of the 12 pounders eliminated the first wave of the attackers and the rest beat feet out of there fast once they saw what the smoke-spewing ironclad was capable of.
Click to expand...

The USS Wisconsin???

Sirhr
 
  • Haha
Reactions: dinc, gigamortis and 6.5SH
#106,582
I had to look that one up and sure enough during 1865….

IMG_8178.jpeg


Brazil vs Uruguay and two sailors were killed!!

More on the story…

www.slurrp.com

When Brazil Lost A Naval Battle To Cheese

The border between Brazil and Uruguay runs through the middle of the Negro River basin in South America. This resulted in both countries owning different parts of the same river, tributary and lake. Here's how something as harmless as cheese spurred a war.
www.slurrp.com www.slurrp.com

Sirhr
 
Last edited:
  • Like
  • Wow
Reactions: gigamortis and Blue Sky Country
#106,584
sirhrmechanic said:
The USS Wisconsin???

Sirhr
Click to expand...


I think it was the "Arakwe". One of the much older Dixie Gun Works Black Powder Annuals had an excerpt on it. Strange but apparently true and the captain's quick wits secured the ironclad from being stormed. There was no Wisconsin named boats on the Civil War era ship roster but Wisconsin AKA BB-64 made legends of it's own when it's 16 inchers vaporized the entire top of a mountain housing North Korean coastal artillery positions during the Korean War...
 
  • Like
Reactions: gigamortis and sirhrmechanic
#106,585
oldshooterback said:
Back in the day, most people got married in June because they took their yearly bath in May, and they still smelled pretty good by June. Since they were starting to smell, however, brides carried a bouquet of flowers to hide the body odor. Hence the custom today of carrying a bouquet when getting married.Baths consisted of a big tub filled with hot water. The man of the house had the privilege of the nice clean water, then all the other sons and men, then the women, and finally the children. Last of all the babies. By then the water was so dirty you could actually lose someone in it … hence the saying, “Don’t throw the baby out with the Bath water!”Houses had thatched roofs-thick straw-piled high, with no wood underneath. It was the only place for animals to get warm, so all the cats and other small animals (mice, bugs) lived in the roof. When it rained it became slippery and sometimes the animals would slip and fall off the roof, resulting in the idiom, “It’s raining cats and dogs.”There was nothing to stop things from falling into the house. This posed a real problem in the bedroom where bugs and other droppings could mess up your nice clean bed, therefore, a bed with big posts and a sheet hung over the top afforded some protection. That’s how canopy beds came into existence.The floor was dirt. Only the wealthy had something other than dirt, leading folks to coin the phrase “dirt poor.”The wealthy had slate floors that would get slippery in the winter when wet, so they spread thresh (straw) on floor to help keep their footing. As the winter wore on, they added more thresh until, when you opened the door, it would all start slipping outside. A piece of wood was placed in the entrance-way, subsequently creating a “thresh hold.”In those old days, they cooked in the kitchen with a big kettle that always hung over the fire.. Every day they lit the fire and added things to the pot. They ate mostly vegetables and did not get much meat. They would eat the stew for dinner, leaving leftovers in the pot to get cold overnight and then start over the next day. Sometimes stew had food in it that had been there for quite a while, and thus the rhyme, “Peas porridge hot, peas porridge cold, peas porridge in the pot nine days old.”Sometimes they could obtain pork, which made them feel quite special. When visitors came over, they would hang up their bacon to show off. It was a sign of wealth that a man could, “bring home the bacon.” They would cut off a little to share with guests and would all sit around and “chew the fat.”Those with money had plates made of pewter. Food with high acid content caused some of the lead to leach onto the food, causing lead poisoning death. This happened most often with tomatoes, so for the next 400 years or so, tomatoes were considered poisonous.Bread was divided according to status. Workers got the burnt bottom of the loaf, the family got the middle, and guests got the top, or the “upper crust.”Lead cups were used to drink ale or whisky. The combination would sometimes knock the imbibers out for a couple of days. Someone walking along the road would take them for dead and prepare them for burial.. They were laid out on the kitchen table for a couple of days and the family would gather around and eat and drink and wait and see if they would wake up, creating the custom of holding a wake.They used to use urine to tan animal skins, so families used to all pee in a pot & then once a day it was taken & sold to the tannery. If you had to do this to survive you were “piss poor.”But worse than that were the really poor folk who couldn’t even afford to buy a pot; they “didn’t have a pot to piss in” & were the lowest of the low.The next time you are washing your hands & complain because the water temperature isn’t just how you like it, think about how things used to be.
Click to expand...

Holy wall of words Batman… Paragraphs, they exist.

Edit: deleted the snarky .gif…. Thought I was in the other thread, LoL
 
#106,587
Blue Sky Country said:
I think it was the "Arakwe". One of the much older Dixie Gun Works Black Powder Annuals had an excerpt on it. Strange but apparently true and the captain's quick wits secured the ironclad from being stormed. There was no Wisconsin named boats on the Civil War era ship roster but Wisconsin AKA BB-64 made legends of it's own when it's 16 inchers vaporized the entire top of a mountain housing North Korean coastal artillery positions during the Korean War...
Click to expand...

I was making a cheese joke…

IMG_6020.jpeg
 
  • Haha
Reactions: Blue Sky Country
#106,590
You must log in or register to reply here.

Similar threads

T
Accessories Unfired 20” 6.5 Grendel Odin Works Upper
Replies
5
Views
696
tsteelman
T
T
Firearms WTS Arsenal SA M-5 5.56 Milled AK
Replies
4
Views
352
taisenki
T
mwinter6
SOLD Revic PMR 4.5-28x56mm MIL
Replies
1
Views
330
mwinter6
mwinter6
LuckyDuck
This might be a fun one- Have you ever made a firearm purchase out of "spite"?
Replies
56
Views
2K
GTOJOSH
GTOJOSH
rpg777
SOLD JP APAC Chassis w/accessories
Replies
3
Views
576
rpg777
rpg777
Top Bottom
Back
Home
Forums
Merch
Alerts