I can't talk about this elsewhere. Have an employee. Not doing well. I'm trying to throw him a lifeline so he can get to retirement. Give him his review, its not great, but its not bad ("I need you to change some behaviors") no PIP or coaching or anything like that.
Dude flips his lid on me. No offense but trying to stay cool and calm was not his strong point.
Tells me the conditions for him not to retire in a month. I'm a little--That's a bold strategy Cotton... (Inside I'm like Well, Bye!)
Now I know I am a mega-flame asshole in here (because I can be), but I apologize for using words like "crap" at work. I'm actually "Mister Nice" (STOP LAUGHING YOU JACKHOLES ITS TRUE!)
Who the hell after a bad review makes demands to stay employed? You guys wonder why I think people are dense as hell. I'm the person trying to help him, everyone else is scared of him..he literally bullied a professor into re-writting his review. So I knew the project he wanted, he was going to get (one of his demands) so to at least make him happy I told him he had be assigned, but I couldn't do the other 2 conditions. It was above my paygrade (Its a copout, more on that in a sec).
Dude then lectures me on how its my job to negotiate with the appropriate pay grade to get what he wants. (I'll take how to get Doc to can your ass on the spot for $1000 alex)
Actually it wasn't much of a negotiation: Convo went like this
"Hey Boss, X wants this or he retires"
"Do you care"
"Nope"
"Good let him retire, he's always pissed off anyway"
As the kids say:
I just can't even....
Dude flips his lid on me. No offense but trying to stay cool and calm was not his strong point.
Tells me the conditions for him not to retire in a month. I'm a little--That's a bold strategy Cotton... (Inside I'm like Well, Bye!)
Now I know I am a mega-flame asshole in here (because I can be), but I apologize for using words like "crap" at work. I'm actually "Mister Nice" (STOP LAUGHING YOU JACKHOLES ITS TRUE!)
Who the hell after a bad review makes demands to stay employed? You guys wonder why I think people are dense as hell. I'm the person trying to help him, everyone else is scared of him..he literally bullied a professor into re-writting his review. So I knew the project he wanted, he was going to get (one of his demands) so to at least make him happy I told him he had be assigned, but I couldn't do the other 2 conditions. It was above my paygrade (Its a copout, more on that in a sec).
Dude then lectures me on how its my job to negotiate with the appropriate pay grade to get what he wants. (I'll take how to get Doc to can your ass on the spot for $1000 alex)
Actually it wasn't much of a negotiation: Convo went like this
"Hey Boss, X wants this or he retires"
"Do you care"
"Nope"
"Good let him retire, he's always pissed off anyway"
As the kids say:
I just can't even....