Every Who who lived in Whoville loved shooting a lot...
But the Grinch, who owned a 3000 Wimpester Magnum...did not
The Grinch hated shooting! The whole shooting season!
Now, please don't ask why. No one quite knows the reason.
It could be that his head wasn't screwed on quite right.
It could be, perhaps, his sizing dies were too tight.
But I think that the most likely reason of all, may have been that his ballistic coefficient was two sizes too small.
But, whatever the reason, His BC's or his dies,
He sat there at home, boosting his pride,
Staring out from his mom's basement with a sour, Grinchy frown
At the warm lighted windows outside in his town.
For he knew every Who up in Who-ville outside
Was busy now, loading and shooting in stride.
"And they're zeroing their rifles!" he snarled with a sneer. "Tomorrow is rifle season! It's practically here!"
Then he growled, with his grinch fingers nervously spinning,
"I MUST find a way to keep shooters from winning!"
For, tomorrow, he knew... ...All the Who shooter girls and boys
Would wake up bright and early.
They'd rush for their toys!
And then! Oh, the noise! Oh, the noise! Noise! Noise! Noise!
That's one thing he hated! The NOISE! NOISE! NOISE! NOISE!
Then the Who shooters, young and old, would sit down to a feast. And they'd feast! And they'd feast! And they'd FEAST! FEAST! FEAST! FEAST!
They would start on Who-pudding, and rare Who-roast-beast Which was something the Grinch couldn't hit in the least!
And THEN They'd do something he liked least of all!
Every Who down in Who-ville, the tall and the small,
Would get online together, with accounts and pics flaring
They'd post one after another.
And the Who shooters would start sharing!
They'd share! And they'd share! AND they'd SHARE SHARE SHARE SHARE
And the more the Grinch thought of the Who-shooters-Share
The more the Grinch thought, "I must stop this whole affair!
"Why for fifty-three years I've put up with it now! I MUST antagonize Who-shooters! ...But HOW?"
Then he got an idea! An awful idea! THE GRINCH GOT A WONDERFUL, AWFUL IDEA!
"I know just what to do!" The Grinch Laughed in his snout.
And he made a quick screen name for his online account.
And he chuckled, and clucked, "What a great Grinchy trick!
"With this 3000 Wimpster Magnum, it will look just like a boom stick!"
"All I need is some credibility..."
The Grinch looked around.
But since credibility is scarce, there was none to be found.
Did that stop the old Grinch...? No! The Grinch simply said,
"If I can't find some cred, I'll make some instead!"
So he emailed his COD friend
Whose text message privileges had come to an end.
They plotted and schemed, collective wits from two heads
When another caliber was mentioned, they'd derail the thread!
With 3000 Wimpester Magnum, their favorite bore
Which when passing over a chrono results in a snore
And if any Who-shooter points out this plain fact
The Grinch and his troll-friend will pounce and attack!
But as confined to their mothers' subterranean lairs
Their weapons being keyboards and broken-down chairs
Google searches and mousepads,
Neckbeards and flip-flops
Each range trip postponed
For another thread hit-op.