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Maggie’s A few, More

Sean the Nailer

Sergeant
Full Member
Minuteman
  • May 20, 2006
    7,137
    11,265
    Winnipeg, Mb.
    <span style="font-weight: bold">Dyslexics have more NUF</span>


    Red meat is not bad for you,
    Fuzzy green meat is bad for you!

    Follow your dreams,
    --except the one where you're naked in church.

    My short-term memory is not as good as it used to be.
    Also, my short-term memory is not as good as it used to be.

    The roundest knight at King Arthur's round table was Sir Cumference. He acquired his size from too much pi.

    I thought I saw an eye doctor on an Alaskan island, but it turned out to be an optical Aleutian.

    She was only a whiskey maker, but he loved her still.

    A rubber band pistol was confiscated from algebra class, because it was a weapon of math disruption.

    The butcher backed into the meat grinder and got a little behind in his work.

    No matter how much you push the envelope, it'll still be stationery.

    A dog gave birth to puppies near the road and was cited for littering.

    A grenade thrown into a kitchen in France would result in Linoleum Blownapart.

    Two silk worms had a race. They ended up in a tie.

    Time flies like an arrow. Fruit flies like a banana.

    A hole has been found in the nudist camp wall. The police are looking into it.

    Atheism is a non-prophet organization.

    Two hats were hanging on a hat rack in the hallway. One hat said to the other: 'You stay here; I'll go on a head.'

    I wondered why the baseball kept getting bigger. Then it hit me.

    A sign on the lawn at a drug rehab center says 'Keep off the Grass.'

    A small boy swallowed some coins and was taken to a hospital. When his grandmother telephoned to ask how he was, a nurse said 'No change yet.'

    A chicken crossing the road is poultry in motion.

    The short fortune-teller who escaped from prison was a small medium at large.

    The soldier who survived mustard gas and pepper spray is now a seasoned veteran.

    A backward poet writes inverse.

    In a democracy it's your vote that counts. In feudalism it's your count that votes.

    When cannibals ate a missionary, they got a taste of religion.

    Don't join dangerous cults: Practice safe sects!

     
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