It really is pathetic that these people are so angst-ridden to discover that they had a Wop in the Woodpile somewhere or are 4 percent Bantu so they can put bones in their nose and deny their 'White Privilege...'
But got to love the folks at those Ancestry sites! They are making a FORTUNE!!! Costs a few bucks to do a test... run it against what is really a farce of a 'traced DNA map' created by anthropologists on a 'guess' that this is where humankind fanned out from... and you have a cash machine! Preying on the insecure who want to be more than they are, even if it means that they dress up in regalia of stolen Hittite Valor.
Years ago, my grandfather traced back the family 'the old fashioned way' with church records, birth certificates, marriage records, graveyard rubbings... did the whole thing. Way back. He spent years on it. The result.... Straight line to Scotland on one side... Dunkeld. Which I have visited. And it is a s*^thole. The family was smart to get out. Pure English on the other... and nary a duke or a lord or a by-your-leave-sir on the other. Certainly no Zulu chieftians popping up to ravish great, great, great, great grandma Gunnhild. Only interesting thing was the family was in Concord, NH almost from the founding of the town. And was making a good living selling whiskey and hors d'ouvres to the Indians when they decided the King was a better bet than the Declaration of Independence. Proving that they were morons. And after picking the tar and feathers out their hair, they settled for several generations in Abbotsford, Quebec. Where they just kept marrying more English. Or as the natives called them... Hanglish. Before coming to Vermont because the deer hunting was better, I suppose.
So I guess I should put on a Habs Jersey and fashion a Peter Puck shrine on the mantle, smoke unfiltered Gauloises Exports, drink Labatts Blue from a bottle while driving a Trans-Am with studded tires to a Celine Dionne concert.... but that would be Stolen Queeb Valor. Besides, the difference between a Canadian and a canoe is that a canoe tips.... Sorry, Sean.
As for the ancestry stuff... Gawd isn't capitalism great? We should come up with something like that...
Send us a an envelope full of nail clippings, and we'll give you a certificate that says grand-dad was Rommel or something. The creativity around here, we could have millions of unsuspecting idiots proudly wearing grand-dad's medals from Biafra... pretending to be descended from chess-grand-masters and wearing Codpieces. It would make their day! All they want is a little bit of "I am somebody" and for $49.95, I bought the certificate to prove it. The lazy and their money are easily parted.
Cheers,
Sirhr
P.S. Given my lineage, I am guilty of stolen snob valor. Well, I bought my powdered wig and Culottes fair and square at Walmart and I identify as a snob. So there, peasants.
