Ancestry Bullshit - Who Else Laughs at These?

[Mike Casselton]

I think someone already took a test of his scottish terrier and it came back as a german shepard.

My so-called Border Collie cross never really looked much like a border collie except the day she was born.
I've seen videos of the mom (who is a tan pit bull) giving birth to all nine of her kids.

The pups came out looking like pits, labs and fuzz balls.

The owner of Ziggy who is 81lbs as of last month did a DNA test on the pup and it came out right around 50% pit, 12% German wirehair and 25% Great Pyrennese with the rest unknown.
It explains why he's so big.

Our dog has taken on more of the German Wirehair looks and personality.
She's in the 60lb range now and I'm just thankful she didn't get more Great Pyrennese DNA.

It also appears that her mom was a bit of slut for a dog.

 

[pmclaine]

My so-called Border Collie cross never really looked much like a border collie except the day she was born.
I've seen videos of the mom (who is a tan pit bull) giving birth to all nine of her kids.

The pups came out looking like pits, labs and fuzz balls.

The owner of Ziggy who is 81lbs as of last month did a DNA test on the pup and it came out right around 50% pit, 12% German wirehair and 25% Great Pyrennese with the rest unknown.
It explains why he's so big.

Our dog has taken on more of the German Wirehair looks and personality.
She's in the 60lb range now and I'm just thankful she didn't get more Great Pyrennese DNA.

It also appears that her mom was a bit of slut for a dog.

Thats a bitch....

 

[hlee]

While genetic screening (or more effective, long read genetic sequencing) is a very powerful tool in a medical setting, there is no reason to have a private company sequencing your DNA. 23 and Me was served a cease and desist order because they were making medical diagnosis with non-certified tests outside of a certified environment. There is nothing you can learn from this testing that you cannot learn from an accurate family history.

 

[pmclaine]

While genetic screening (or more effective, long read genetic sequencing) is a very powerful tool in a medical setting, there is no reason to have a private company sequencing your DNA. 23 and Me was served a cease and desist order because they were making medical diagnosis with non-certified tests outside of a certified environment. There is nothing you can learn from this testing that you cannot learn from an accurate family history.

Id like to know how stringent these labs are in not cross contaminating shit.

At that price and in order to be profitable, I doubt its that stringent.

 

[Mike Casselton]

Thats a bitch....

We knew when we took her home that any chance of her being border collie was a slim one.
There was just too much fuzz on her face.

I've asked @Geno C. If he had anything to do with her. He's pleading the 5th.

I dunno, what do you guys think?

I think I see something, I just can't pin it down.

 

[Geno C.]

We knew when we took her home that any chance of her being border collie was a slim one.
There was just too much fuzz on her face.

I've asked @Geno C. If he had anything to do with her. He's pleading the 5th.

I dunno, what do you guys think?
View attachment 6954341

I think I see something, I just can't pin it down.

View attachment 6954347View attachment 6954348

Hey man, I keep my shit up top trimmed?

 

[Soulezoo]

I've got a different experience. Please save your snarkiness.
I was given up for adoption at two months old. My adopted family knew my real parents and told me I was adopted all along but never offered anything else. It wasn't until a few years (8) after my adopted mother passed that my sister in law says "oh, by the way, I found your adoption papers amongst your mother's stuff". So now at least I know my real name and real parents name. Then my adopted sister allows "yeah, my first husband was good friends with your dad and you have a few siblings too..."
So a year ago I took the DNA test from Ancestry. I found my siblings (4) and my birth mother. They had searched for me for years but had given up.
Two cousins (one on each side) have been doing the research and put together extensive family trees.
Turns out I am a sixth great grandson of Daniel Boone. Through that relationship (specifically Rebecca (Bryan) Boone), I can trace back to William the Conqueror and Charlemagne amongst others. Strictly through my fathers surname, Strong, I can count a founding father, Caleb Strong, in my lineage.
So don't be too quick to poo-poo the test. Let my story show that it can have some dramatic effects.
I now have a great relationship with my siblings and has made a big difference in my life.

 

[Redmanss]

There's a big difference between finding actual relatives (especially in cases like adoptions and SNAFUs in maternity wards), and others who suddenly ethnically "connect" because of some commercial DNA test.

There's also a big difference in the companies who are doing these tests. Just like anything in tech, for Ancestry and 23 & Me, you're paying them to be their product they're selling for hundreds of millions of dollars to pharmaceutical companies and other researchers.

If you want to get your DNA and trace your heritage, go with a company that gives a shit about privacy and does in house testing (Ancestry and 23 don't even have their own lab), and make sure you opt out/don't opt in on ANY sharing of info. Don't even bother with Ancestry or 23 for that, find a different vendor.

 

[pmclaine]

Elizabeth warren ought to send in a bunch of DNA......Im sure one of the tests will come back showing some Cherokee, just a matter of playing the numbers.

 

[Redmanss]

Elizabeth warren ought to send in a bunch of DNA......Im sure one of the tests will come back showing some Cherokee, just a matter of playing the numbers.

My lady had always been told they had Sioux blood in their line, but her family never traced shit so it was always rumor. She did her DNA and came back >99% European. There's a metric fuck-ton of people out there who also mistakenly think the same, likely Warren being one of them. Fucking strap hangers...

My brother did the test, so I just use his to know my own ancestral lineage. That and my family has extensively researched our genealogy back to the 1600s and a little beyond on a couple tracks.

Of course, all I really need to know is I'm 100% American Bad Ass, and that's plenty good for me.

 

[pmclaine]

My lady had always been told they had Sioux blood in their line, but her family never traced shit so it was always rumor. She did her DNA and came back >99% European. There's a metric fuck-ton of people out there who also mistakenly think the same, likely Warren being one of them. Fucking strap hangers...

My brother did the test, so I just use his to know my own ancestral lineage. That and my family has extensively researched our genealogy back to the 1600s and a little beyond on a couple tracks.

Of course, all I really need to know is I'm 100% American Bad Ass, and that's plenty good for me.

Depends on what is going on in society....

Liz warren in addition to wanting to take positions via affirmative action probably read Dee Brown and felt it would be good to have Native american blood.

Look at the identity politics dems...

They are all taking on Hispanic sounding names to appeal to their identity politics goals.

Kevin Leon figured Leon wasnt Hispanic enough so he had to change it to De Leon in hopes he will be able to push his ghost gun stories.

Check out Bill DeBlasio.....

Couldnt possibly be the dumb ass he is with his given name so he had to change it.

Hopefully eskimos become the population d'jour because I want someone looking like Cuomo running under the name Nanook.

 

[hlee]

Id like to know how stringent these labs are in not cross contaminating shit.

At that price and in order to be profitable, I doubt its that stringent.

It's pretty easy not to cross contaminate a sample. EVERYTHING in a lab setting is a single-use disposable.

Depending upon how they are doing their multiplexing (multiple samples being run as a single sequencing "library"), the disambiguation of the samples could be somewhat tricky. But, these are commercial labs running commercial kits. Everything is built for, and tested against, the lowest common denominator- a BA level lab tech.

Keeping track of what sample is what depends on the lab's LIMS and paper book keeping. I'd say you are much more likely to get someone else's results than you are to get data contaminated by another sample.

 

[shootist2004]

buddy of mine did one of these for 50 bucks. his name was Smith. He got a letter back saying " YOU ARE FROM EUROPE".
I said I could have told you that for 10 bucks!

 

[MarinePMI]

Let's be honest guys, if you have served in the military anytime since the early 90's, the government already has your DNA (it's part of the normal blood work ups and medical screening). In theory it's for identifying remains should your ass be turned into a cloud of hamburger, but we all know how good government is at safeguarding personal information (sarcasm).

 

[Mike Casselton]

Mine was done by Uncle Sam back around 85 or 86.
After I came back stateside, it was done again like you pointed out, in the early 90's.
Blood work the first time, swab the second time.

 

[Changed]

https://www.ancestry.com/cs/legal/lawenforcement

Total Shill for law enforcement. I'm sure that they sell your information, just like Google, Amazon, and Ebay. That's right. This is why you see those dildo adds on FaceFOOK.
.Gov wants to know everything everyone is doing, under the auspice of National Security. Corrupt. Just remember what happened to Rome at the height of their excess/gov.

 

[MarinePMI]

Mine was done by Uncle Sam back around 85 or 86.
After I came back stateside, it was done again like you pointed out, in the early 90's.
Blood work the first time, swab the second time.

Yeppers. Same here. Blood first, swab the second time.

 

[pmclaine]

I was in 86-91 it was green/pink ID card era.

Dont recall if they ever took DNA specifically but they took a lot of blood.

Got called back for DS and remember getting pounded with needles/air guns in order to get sent home after a 45 day stay in CA.

Sure something made it to the DNA bank.

 

[MarinePMI]

I was in 87-98. I believe it was done for deployable units first. All MEU personnel got DNA'ed before deploying, but after SOC qual'ed IIRC...

 

[pmclaine]

Timely article.....

https://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/ar...-sites-like-Ancestry-com-track-criminals.html

 

[softcock]

https://www.oregonlive.com/crime/2019/04/vancouver-police-arrest-oregon-man-in-a-25-year-old-rape-murder-case.html

.

 

[FS1]

The test I am waiting for "is she wet dot com" With factors like, headache percentage, orgasmic sensitivity, wetness and durability. It would not cost a house and car to find out she's not right for you. JMHO

 

[W54/XM-388]

The test I am waiting for "is she wet dot com" With factors like, headache percentage, orgasmic sensitivity, wetness and durability. It would not cost a house and car to find out she's not right for you. JMHO

The problem with that, is it would only be of any use if they had been previously married for some time & the ex had bothered to rate them honestly.
Because while there is always the rare ones, usually everything changes for the worse rapidly after getting married and then often after the first kid.
You think endless sex and love and happiness.... try no sex, just anger and misery..

 

[FS1]

The problem with that, is it would only be of any use if they had been previously married for some time & the ex had bothered to rate them honestly.
Because while there is always the rare ones, usually everything changes for the worse rapidly after getting married and then often after the first kid.
You think endless sex and love and happiness.... try no sex, just anger and misery..

It's Genetic. The prominence of the Bitch/Cunt gene would have to be in the results.

 

[TheGerman]

I am 100% meat popsicle

 

[Northfl]

I guess I should put on a Habs Jersey and fashion a Peter Puck shrine on the mantle, smoke unfiltered Gauloises Exports, drink Labatts Blue from a bottle while driving a Trans-Am with studded tires to a Celine Dionne concert.... but that would be Stolen Queeb Valor. Besides, the difference between a Canadian and a canoe is that a canoe tips.... Sorry, Sean.

All while wearing a kilt You forgot the damn kilt. What kind of scot are you???

 

[Sean the Nailer]

Hey, I tip. I tip well, when the service has been good. Now, getting good service is another story. Who can argue?

 

[wildcats]

I traced some of mine back to the Crusades,and i have in my possession the original Oak Island treasure map............

 

[sirhrmechanic]

The test I am waiting for "is she wet dot com" With factors like, headache percentage, orgasmic sensitivity, wetness and durability. It would not cost a house and car to find out she's not right for you. JMHO

Already exists:

 

[sirhrmechanic]

All while wearing a kilt You forgot the damn kilt. What kind of scot are you???

The pants-owning American type!!!

Cheers, Sirhr

 

[Dougie308]

I am in total agreement. This DNA junk is the current version of Pet Rocks. Except that you essentially rat yourself out with these rocks.

Fortunately I am only two generations away from the Old Country on my dad’s side (grandpa from Berlin and grandma was from a little village across the border in Austria). And my pack rat relatives on my mom’s side had family records (bibles, birth and wedding records and etc.) that trace them back to the Scotts/Irish migration to the Appalachians. In my case to what is now West Virginia.

It really is pathetic that these people are so angst-ridden to discover that they had a Wop in the Woodpile somewhere or are 4 percent Bantu so they can put bones in their nose and deny their 'White Privilege...'

But got to love the folks at those Ancestry sites! They are making a FORTUNE!!! Costs a few bucks to do a test... run it against what is really a farce of a 'traced DNA map' created by anthropologists on a 'guess' that this is where humankind fanned out from... and you have a cash machine! Preying on the insecure who want to be more than they are, even if it means that they dress up in regalia of stolen Hittite Valor.

Years ago, my grandfather traced back the family 'the old fashioned way' with church records, birth certificates, marriage records, graveyard rubbings... did the whole thing. Way back. He spent years on it. The result.... Straight line to Scotland on one side... Dunkeld. Which I have visited. And it is a s*^thole. The family was smart to get out. Pure English on the other... and nary a duke or a lord or a by-your-leave-sir on the other. Certainly no Zulu chieftians popping up to ravish great, great, great, great grandma Gunnhild. Only interesting thing was the family was in Concord, NH almost from the founding of the town. And was making a good living selling whiskey and hors d'ouvres to the Indians when they decided the King was a better bet than the Declaration of Independence. Proving that they were morons. And after picking the tar and feathers out their hair, they settled for several generations in Abbotsford, Quebec. Where they just kept marrying more English. Or as the natives called them... Hanglish. Before coming to Vermont because the deer hunting was better, I suppose.

So I guess I should put on a Habs Jersey and fashion a Peter Puck shrine on the mantle, smoke unfiltered Gauloises Exports, drink Labatts Blue from a bottle while driving a Trans-Am with studded tires to a Celine Dionne concert.... but that would be Stolen Queeb Valor. Besides, the difference between a Canadian and a canoe is that a canoe tips.... Sorry, Sean.

As for the ancestry stuff... Gawd isn't capitalism great? We should come up with something like that...

Send us a an envelope full of nail clippings, and we'll give you a certificate that says grand-dad was Rommel or something. The creativity around here, we could have millions of unsuspecting idiots proudly wearing grand-dad's medals from Biafra... pretending to be descended from chess-grand-masters and wearing Codpieces. It would make their day! All they want is a little bit of "I am somebody" and for $49.95, I bought the certificate to prove it. The lazy and their money are easily parted.

Cheers,

Sirhr

P.S. Given my lineage, I am guilty of stolen snob valor. Well, I bought my powdered wig and Culottes fair and square at Walmart and I identify as a snob. So there, peasants.

 

[FS1]

The pants-owning American type!!!

Cheers, Sirhr

Now we know why you have the secret fantasies about wearing a dress when the Indictments come down.