Maggie’s And Then The fight Started

[Guest]

Few year ago I was in the slums in Haiti. We stopped our truck near a bunch of guys standing around an open wired welding machine. We got what we needed and were ready to leave when a tall Haitian man around 22 years old steps out from his buddies and says in Creole. Yo Blah (white) I make money off of you. I looked at my interrupter and got the the message. I looked back and said "You will need it cause I just gave your wife a nice white baby".----and then the fight started

Last fall I am sitting on my Suzuki at a stop light. Car pulls up on the right. There is a pudgy latin baca driving and her friend aint much better. She looks over at me and says My car is out of gas and i could use a couple bucks to get home. This is a common scam around here. I looked back and said, Think of all the weight you will loose while you push it to the gas station. Then the fight started.



Got one??

 

[texastonk]

At a bar several years ago. Western Bar. It summer had my palm leaf hat on which in Texas is standard head wear. On my way to the toilet, walked by a group of large Anglo women's. One made a comment that my hat was ugly and to big. I stopped turned and looked her and her friends and told them "ya and your to fat to ride." Then the fight started...

 

[Guest]

Baaahahahaha Jack pot

 

[Dog&Jeep]

Back in the late '80s a couple of us were sitting around the lunch table at the firehouse, when one of the volunteers came in with his newborn daughter. The guy was understandably proud, but he was still a bombastic asshole, so when he pointed at the bottle she was feeding on and said "Lookit how well she's sucking that thing!" I just had to come back with:
"That's what we'll all be saying when she turns 18."

 

[kl3309]

A few summers ago, I was going past the subway station early in the morning when I walked past a young lady (little black sundress, early 20's, blonde, cute) handing out pamphlets by the entrance. She handed me one. I accepted it. Pamphlet was nicely done using glossy paper and full-color printing. I saw on the front page a close-up portrait of two little piglets, and some text spewing forth a typical PETA diatribe. I had taken a few steps past the young lady so I half-turned and said (yelled), "Hey, these are delicious."
No fight (sadly) but one of us stomped away crying while the other went to the FOP Lodge for some bacon and eggs.

 

[WaltHer]

Was in my home bar. A already intoxicated indian pushed his way between my friend and me. I said, "hit the bricks tatonka". He said, "if you say it again we're gonna fiiii..." and then the fight ended.
1. Never let a sentence end in a period.
2. Always hit first.
3. Always hit second.
4. Never let them get off the ground.
5. Don't be there when the police arrived.
-Murreta's rules for Surviving Mad Squabbles.