Asking advice in the Pit. Lord help me

[Dot3]

I haven’t wanted to come in here with this but here it goes…

About 18 months ago my wife was hit with allegations of “inappropriate relationship with a minor.” Here’s the full context. She was a teacher and tutoring several students, one of whom was a 16 yo boy. He did what most 16 yo boys do and lie-bragged to his friends about banging his tutor. I was 16 once and had the sense to know that my buddies who said that were full of shit. Says a lot about today’s youth that one of his buddies took that rumor to the administration and she was suspended (with pay) and a full blown investigation ensued. However, she was let go at the end of her contract. I’m from a small town but my wife is not from here. I knew the detectives on the case and our lawyer was a longtime family friend. Long to short: she was not charged and in fact was cleared of any wrongdoing. Not just a case of not enough evidence to make a case. The kid even admitted to lying about it etc.

Well, that didn’t stop the rumor mill and for the last year and a half she’s been taunted by these twats and it’s driving her down a dark hole. She has only recently told me about all of the “harassment” that she’s endured. I knew about some but not all of it. I put harassment in quotes because I’m not sure what actually constitutes harassment and what’s just petty bullshit. There are some things she needs to just toughen up over. Like a middle finger driving by, but things like brake checking her with my kids in the car and creeping by our house piss me the fuck off. We’ve been in touch with the detective but nothing has been done. No follow ups. So my ask is, what can I do legally to make an example out of some of these fucks so that the intimidation stops?

Fire away…

 

[Dingodog]

Having been accused of some garbage I was not a party to I can understand and empathize. If you know who some of these people are I would enlist your lawyer to send a cease and desist letter and when they ignore it then a restraining order. You may want to put cameras in your vehicle if she is harassed on the road.
Speaking from experience it takes years for shit like this to go away in a small town. For me it was the local deputies making my life hell until threatened legally they finally stopped.

 

[Eli17L]

Therapy for the wife to help her with this trama.
Might have to move.
There is no winning in this situation.
Sorry I will add your family to the prayer list.

 

[Pbgt]

we gonna need pics of the "tutor" to really decide if any damage was done....

 

[7.62willdo]

we gonna need pics of the "tutor" to really decide if any damage was done....

And there it is…….

 

[nhdeadhead]

Maybe have your lawyer draw up a civil suit for deformation/slander against family of kid that lied and against the school for terminating her and then go public with it… call news/newspapers and put it out there that she’s being harassed over false allegations and in fear for her safety? Then take the settlement and move and put this shit behind you guys.

Meanwhile, put up cameras around the house to capture acts intimidation and harassment and hand em over to pd as it occurs.

 

[W54/XM-388]

As a question, did you sue the pants off the liar's parents for what they did to your wife?

 

[TxWelder35]

Maybe have your lawyer draw up a civil suit for deformation/slander against family of kid that lied and against the school for terminating her and then go public with it… call news/newspapers and put it out there that she’s being harassed over false allegations and in fear for her safety? Then take the settlement and move and put this shit behind you guys.

Meanwhile, put up cameras around the house to capture acts intimidation and harassment and hand em over to pd as it occurs.

I was going to say move but do this first. I would imagine there will be offers to settle well before a trial, especially in the case of the school. Take what you think it is worth to you having to displace your entire life/family and move away and move on.

 

[GreenGO Juan]

 

[The King]

You need a multipart approach.

Go to School board meetings and demand her job back. With her. Its not so she gets her job back, its to form a relationship in the minds of the other parents.
Cameras. House cameras, dash cameras, and a camera under your mailbox that records license plates.
Lawyers.
The State Police if the locals aren't doing anything.
Lawyers.
Did I mention Lawyers?

And finally...ASK your wife if she wants to move. Let her know YOU are tired of this shit and ready to bail if that seems smart. Don't put it all on her.

 

[DarnYankeeUSMC]

I have worked with children for many years. I have a hard fast rule for anyone that works with me and for myself. Never ever ever be alone with a child. Two or more adults always! If video is available make sure it covers everything. Any child that needs help with the rest room has their parents summonds to deal with it.
I know this doesn't help now.
Read post number six. There's some good advice there.

 

[acudaowner]

if she did not do it you nothing to fear but if she is guilty lol

lol sorry i know it's not funny but it is .

 

[MtnCreek]

Going to need to see a pic of her with a mad look while wearing thick frame glasses to know for sure. Thanks!

 

[hlee]

This is one area where small town America sucks compared to larger cities. Not only is this the only excitement that the small town nobodies that never went anywhere get in their whole lives, your wife isn't part of the "We never made it out of here" clique.

 

[BCP]

So my ask is, what can I do legally to make an example out of some of these fucks so that the intimidation stops?

Nothing. I grew up in a small town where my family had a "problem" with another family for many years and there wasn't shit we could do about it. Moving away is the only option.

 

[Drahthaar Dan]

This contingency, or those related to the insane left should be part of a disaster preparation plan. Best to consult a lawyer as others have noted. You/she likely have been defamed. Deal with it in an aggressive and purposeful manner.

 

[MK20]

Sue for all you can get, embarrass as many as you can and make them eat crow, them move somewhere nice and start over.

 

[hlee]

For those looking to prevent this from happening to them, make sure you marry a woman no self respecting 16 year old would brag about having sex with.

 

[myronman3]

fucking life is too short....if you love your wife, it's time to move. yeah, you might eventually get money if you sue, but it'll just wear on both of you the entire time and destroy your marriage and eventually both of your lives.
if it were me, and i loved my wife, i'd be packing up the family and flying the coop.

 

[c1steve]

Obtain from the attorney what evidence they have, as to the kid admitting he was lying.
Hopefully you have this evidence in writing, on video, etc. Get a cease and desist order, then a restraining order if needed.
You will need cameras in the vehicles, and on the property. Do not let them know that they are being recorded.
Pretty much what Dingodog said above.

Once you have plenty of evidence, sue them if possible. A loss in court will be on everyone's mind, and any payout they will remember.
Don't let them beat you or your wife down, you both will be respected and remembered when you win.

 

[Dot3]

Thank you for all the responses, now for some more context. The theme seems to be sue the school and the family of the lying fucktard. We tried to sue the school. We had a high power lawyer ready to draw up the suit only to find the one statute in NC law that absolved them completely: something to the effect of they can’t be held liable for the fallout that comes as a result of a “good faith” investigation. And “good faith” seems rather loosely defined since the state of NC obliges school admins to turn over any reported cases of such behavior, regardless of how many rounds of Telephone they’ve gone. And believe me, the one who tattled was like 4 or 5 times removed from the source of the rumor. So that’s out.

As for the family: the kid was the adopted grandchild of my former preacher, the guy who baptized me AND married me and my wife. On top of that, his son was one of my best friends and he died for our country in Afghanistan in December 2010. So even though the family loved their adopted kid, he was an outsider, only coming to live with them about 6 years ago. So we’re not suing the family.

Yes, we are going to contact lawyers and lawmen to see what can be done NOW, since this has only seemed to escalate. If only she’d told me more, maybe it wouldn’t have gotten this far

ETA: we could have gone through with suit but were advised it will likely get thrown out, or worse we’d lose and that would look even worse

 

[MK20]

It also sounds like your wife needs to harden the fuck up a bit.

Sorry to put it so bluntly but this isn't something you handle with girl feelings and not talking about it and not trying to hurt anyone's feelings.

 

[Dot3]

we gonna need pics of the "tutor" to really decide if any damage was done....

Hey that’s what the motivational thread is for!

 

[Carlos Danger]

I'm not trying to be a dick because I sympathize with her / your situation BUT she needs to toughen up. She did nothing wrong. You know it and so does she. People can (and will) believe what they want to believe. Let them. That part you can't change. Does it suck? Yes. Go after whomever you need to to whatever extent you feel justified. Do not view it as an annoyance but as a fight. Whatever doesn't kill you only makes you stronger.

 

[hukset402]

Flame thrower?

 

[hlee]

Have you or your wife considered knocking a tooth or 3 out of the next person that confronts you?

 

[Dot3]

It also sounds like your wife needs to harden the fuck up a bit.

Sorry to put it so bluntly but this isn't something you handle with girl feelings and not talking about it and not trying to hurt anyone's feelings.

You are not wrong! But reality is she sees it differently than you or me. Now that she’s opened up I have been able to talk to her and work on changing her perspective. Slowly chipping away at it. But ready to fiercely defend her over it. The main take away that I hope she’ll grasp is 1-these are just 15-18 yos who have no influence or credibility among the townsfolk (aside from the few “bestie “ moms who would rather be their kids’ best friends rather than a parent) and 2- what real influence does it have over our lives and ability to work or have fun and raise our kids? Yes, there are tangible risks, like some asshole brake checking her and causing an accident. But the answer is “some, but not much”

 

[Dot3]

Have you or your wife considered knocking a tooth or 3 out of the next person that confronts you?

Yes. Yes very strongly. But I asked what I can LEGALLY do. I wouldn’t come here asking for fantAsies I should have haha. But I should clarify, I don’t expect actual legal advice. I will pay for that.

 

[Dot3]

I'm not trying to be a dick because I sympathize with her / your situation BUT she needs to toughen up. She did nothing wrong. You know it and so does she. People can (and will) believe what they want to believe. Let them. That part you can't change. Does it suck? Yes. Go after whomever you need to to whatever extent you feel justified. Do not view it as an annoyance but as a fight. Whatever doesn't kill you only makes you stronger.

Agreed. Post 29

 

[Vodoun daVinci]

My condolences to both of you. It sucks when the teachers and nurtures get shafted.
VooDoo

 

[hlee]

Yes. Yes very strongly. But I asked what I can LEGALLY do. I wouldn’t come here asking for fantAsies I should have haha. But I should clarify, I don’t expect actual legal advice. I will pay for that.

Well, here's a real no-shitter. Martial Arts are GREAT for mental health.

 

[W54/XM-388]

As for the family: the kid was the adopted grandchild of my former preacher, the guy who baptized me AND married me and my wife. On top of that, his son was one of my best friends and he died for our country in Afghanistan in December 2010. So even though the family loved their adopted kid, he was an outsider, only coming to live with them about 6 years ago. So we’re not suing the family.

Well it seems then that said good preacher had best be given a very good talking to by somebody and told in no uncertain terms that HE is responsible for this mess as it came out of HIS household and they committed a grave sin against your wife.

Tell him he best get to work putting an end to the evil and lies that HIS household spread or he better never dare call himself a preacher again.

What has HE done so far to put an end to the evil that HIS household started?

If he doesn't step up to the plate and work very hard to resolve the issue then HE is just as guilty as the evil lying member of his household.

Perhaps we could get quite a few from around the country to write and call them and explain to him that it was his household that sinned, and it is on him to to make it right with both God and man.

Don't let your feelings for some preacher blind you to the evil that he allowed to be done to you and your family.
If he has any decency, he will work tirelessly to resolve the situation, if he won't then he's as much of an evil bastard as the one of his household that did it.

 

[jrassy]

I’d move the hell out of there, teachers are needed everywhere but California and New York City , cause fuck those places. I got called in to HR once as a female carpenter that worked for me made a complaint that I was drinking on the job and was constantly making remarks about her boobs and trying to cop a feel. When I heard that my jaw hit the ground I was shocked, WTF, I said man I got nothing, she played some big asked cards!! Well, turns out she was pissed another carpenter got foreman over her so she was going to take down the superintendent, lil ole me.
Now you can get cameras for every nook and cranny, hire and fire lawyers daily, get stressed the fuck out looking for the finger salute, snide remark, sideways glance from your neighbors, mailman, dog catcher but that shit just wears a man( or woman) out. I say a town or two over the grass is definitely greener. Best of luck to you and your lovely bride!

 

[Hobo Hilton]

I have taken time to read every post and listened to your details. What you, your wife and family need is "Time and Space". I have dealt with similar situations. Relocating, at first, seems like your are giving up and loosing the battle. You have battled and the results are obvious. Having someone tell you "You will not win this one" pushes us to battle on and prove them wrong. You and your wife are adults. A court always decides what's best for the children. Perhaps you need to stop and look at the situation through the eyes of your children. They see and hear more than you realize. A relocation for children is just one more adventure. Kids are resilient if given a chance. Consider relocating.

Best of Luck.

 

[W54/XM-388]

This is the problem with society today and why evil flourishes.
Everybody just keeps saying to move and uproot your life

What about the lying sack of garbage boy who made the false allegations?
Why is he not being seriously and severely punished for his actions?
Everybody seems fine to let vile liars who ruin the lives of people and their families just go unpunished.

I say he deserves the proper punishment for liars and false accusers as prescribed by the mosaic law.
Put that back into practice and you'll see a lot less of these liars.

Him being 16 years old does NOT excuse him from needing to be punished harshly for the harm his lies caused.
Stupid folks these days thinking that just because someone is supposedly under the stupid magic 18 age they can be as evil as they want to be and get away with it?

 

[myronman3]

like i said, if you love her, un-ass that AO. if not, stick around and watch your marriage fail. ask yourself what is more important to you....where you live....or your wife. this is one of those things that can not be undone. so choose your poison, and drink up.

 

[myronman3]

This is the problem with society today and why evil flourishes.
Everybody just keeps saying to move and uproot your life

What about the lying sack of garbage boy who made the false allegations?
Why is he not being seriously and severely punished for his actions?
Everybody seems fine to let vile liars who ruin the lives of people and their families just go unpunished.

I say he deserves the proper punishment for liars and false accusers as prescribed by the mosaic law.
Put that back into practice and you'll see a lot less of these liars.

Him being 16 years old does NOT excuse him from needing to be punished harshly for the harm his lies caused.
Stupid folks these days thinking that just because someone is supposedly under the stupid magic 18 age they can be as evil as they want to be and get away with it?

shiiiiit.....no one is held to account anymore. not our leaders, not criminals, not the traitors. only the working man. THAT sumbitch they'll flog the shit out of. if you aint figured it out yet...i'll help ya.

if you are waiting for justice on this earth, get comfortable....you're going to be waiting a while.

 

[jrassy]

I like the idea of waiting a couple years, shit ass will be 18+ and legal for an attitude adjustment.

 

[theLBC]

film them. get positive id. catalogue the offenses.

 

[Larke]

Sue for all you can get, embarrass as many as you can and make them eat crow, them move somewhere nice and start over.

I definitely agree with this!

 

[myronman3]

yeah...for all you saying "fisticuffs" or "wait until he is 18".....if the OP so much as raises a hair of the little fuck's head, THEN the justice system will kick in and the OP will really get fucked over.

follow Christ's example, turn the other cheek, hand it off to God to settle, move your family, and spend what precious little time you have on this earth being happy and enjoying your lives. chasing this shit show only ends in more misery.

romans 12:19 Do not take revenge, my dear friends, but leave room for God’s wrath, for it is written: “It is mine to avenge; I will repay,” says the Lord

^ it is GREAT advice. it's saved my life, and my boys' lives. and the beauty is, it works everytime.

 

[norcalAF]

For those looking to prevent this from happening to them, make sure you marry a woman no self respecting 16 year old would brag about having sex with.

So, marry their mom?

 

[W54/XM-388]

yeah...for all you saying "fisticuffs" or "wait until he is 18".....if the OP so much as raises a hair of the little fuck's head, THEN the justice system will kick in and the OP will really get fucked over.

follow Christ's example, turn the other cheek, hand it off to God to settle, move your family, and spend what precious little time you have on this earth being happy and enjoying your lives. chasing this shit show only ends in more misery.

romans 12:19 Do not take revenge, my dear friends, but leave room for God’s wrath, for it is written: “It is mine to avenge; I will repay,” says the Lord

^ it is GREAT advice. it's saved my life, and my boys' lives. and the beauty is, it works everytime.

Random crime is rampant these days and if it's in another place, another time...

Evil flourishes because the good folks don't destroy it.

Eventually you run out of these "cheeks" to turn and have to decide do you just want to be abused endlessly or do you want to stand up for yourself?

 

[myronman3]

^ you are not necessarily wrong. but seeking people out for vengence never ends well. i've learned to pick your battles, and that battle isn't going to yield any good results for the OP. he has nothing to gain and everything to lose. his choice. good luck with it.

 

[jrassy]

The lord works in mysterious ways, just ask any of my fellow Marines.

 

[NoDopes]

Have your lawyer announce a press conference to the local media about inappropriate teacher/student blah blah.
Then at the conference have him show the admission of the student's lie and say lawsuits against the school are forth coming...
Then quietly drop it.

 

[The King]

Okay.....got time to return to this. I'm gonna re-hash this a bit.

I think you mean well here. Especially by your wife. My comments are about women and how women react to things usually.

Her teaching days in this town are done.

There is a very good chance that a new home....in a new place....in a new career....would not be the worst idea ever. Most women are going to wonder if people are looking at them strange for the rest of their lives. The Scarlet Letter syndrome. If you make a clean break with it thats probably for the best.

The "bury the motherfuckers" thing is natural man-speak. You wanna destroy all challengers - and thats understandable. If you decide to go that route this is my recommendation:

Video evidence. It needs to show plates and faces.
Automobile cameras.
Be ready to legally record any interaction, be it Zoom, telephone, texts etc.
Once you have folks id'd.....have your law office send them a letter stating that they have been named in a lawsuit and to preserve all evidence for the court.

Lawyers are expensive. If you can name 30 people in a lawsuit for harassment, you can drop off $1000 at your lawyers office, and cost 30 people $1000 in return...the process is the punishment, and as long as you are money ahead you always win.

As for the cops...they are treating you this way because you are on line 1 and someone with a dead kid is on line 2. What you want isn't as important as the dead kid murder investigation is.


Now on to bad advice that's emotionally satisfying but comes with some jail time:

move to a property on the edge of town with no public approach and get your wife an 18 wheeler tractor trailer to drive that was stolen from the set of Mad Max. Tractor trailers don’t stop great. Brake check this!

Open carry everywhere thats legal. The whole family!

Set down spike strips on the privately owned road to your place with a little sign that says "private property no entrance". All the bushes should have 3" concrete filled steel pipe in them sunk 8 ft in the ground.
Put a mailbox out by the road thats filled with concrete...

Use a background check service on the perpetrators and then sign up their phone numbers and home addresses for Amway. And Time shares. And the NRA if you really hate them. Show your loathing by signing them up for the Trump 2024 campaign emails.

Then send TheGerman after them in the U-boat. Tell the g man that they said their Savage was the best rifle ever. Fuck AI and HK. And that he couldn't hit shit with that 40mm deck gun.

Hell...at the end of the day why not just tell the Clintons anonymously that you know where the Epstein tapes went and if they want to keep it a secret drop off bags with $100,000 each in them to the following addresses...make sure you have an alibi though for a few weeks while they find a nice quiet spot in the park and somehow say to themselves in someone else's voice "Say Hello to Vince for me pal...." and then shoot themselves in the back of the head 3 times

And finally - if anyone is left alive post an ad on craigslist saying you are getting a divorce but it’s your house goddamnit. Everything is free come and get it! Insert their address. This ad works better in spanish

Why not? Fuck em.

 

[Dot3]

What about the lying sack of garbage boy who made the false allegations?
Why is he not being seriously and severely punished for his actions?

Good question. He wasn’t even removed from the school during the investigation, which was a big component in going after the school. Still, that failed. And since then he’s dropped out of school and gone on somewhere else.

As for what the preacher and his family have done, they’ve done as much as they possibly can from their position. He doesn’t have the reach he had while in the pulpit: he’s retired, in his mid 70s and his health is failing him. But he’s been my wife’s biggest advocate all along to any who would listen.

I hear everyone who is talking about moving. My wife has absolutely mentioned that. That’s a hard pill. Like someone said, pick your poison. I have been adamantly against that for a few reasons: if we just move a town or two over, we’ll still encounter the same dipshits. We will still have to go to the same grocery stores and gas stations. Also, I see things differently as I realize that in the scheme of things, this has absolutely 0 bearing on how we live our lives practically speaking. However, we all know that emotionality is an even bigger driver than practicality. Also, my mother is only a couple miles away and battling cancer. Her grand babies are her motivation to keep pushing. My mom has been my wife’s sole source of motherly wisdom and support (too long and private for here). In order to get far enough away for this shit not to matter, we’re giving up a whole lot of family and pride. Pride for me anyhow. And I’m just not convinced that my wife’s pride will be restored by moving. I know peace will come back, but what about the things that make a person feel better about life?

 

[DarnYankeeUSMC]

Holy fuck dude, you are starting to sound like that POS that has a water leak, worked in fiberglass and whatever other drama.
You are making every excuse possible to not have to do something for yourself. But you started this asking for advice? At this point I almost hope your wife leaves you for someone that will stand up for her. Grow some balls and follow some of the good advice here. (Post #6 is a good start) .
But but but but but but is all I hear from you. Take off your wife's panties and pull up your pants (currently your pants are around your ankles, you are getting fucked) and realize that your wife opened up about the rest of this shit show because she's looking to you for help. So you Can man the fuck up and save your marriage/family or you can continue to be a little bitch and make excuses.
Balls in your court. That's if you have any balls to do what needs to be done.

Good question. He wasn’t even removed from the school during the investigation, which was a big component in going after the school. Still, that failed. And since then he’s dropped out of school and gone on somewhere else.

As for what the preacher and his family have done, they’ve done as much as they possibly can from their position. He doesn’t have the reach he had while in the pulpit: he’s retired, in his mid 70s and his health is failing him. But he’s been my wife’s biggest advocate all along to any who would listen.

I hear everyone who is talking about moving. My wife has absolutely mentioned that. That’s a hard pill. Like someone said, pick your poison. I have been adamantly against that for a few reasons: if we just move a town or two over, we’ll still encounter the same dipshits. We will still have to go to the same grocery stores and gas stations. Also, I see things differently as I realize that in the scheme of things, this has absolutely 0 bearing on how we live our lives practically speaking. However, we all know that emotionality is an even bigger driver than practicality. Also, my mother is only a couple miles away and battling cancer. Her grand babies are her motivation to keep pushing. My mom has been my wife’s sole source of motherly wisdom and support (too long and private for here). In order to get far enough away for this shit not to matter, we’re giving up a whole lot of family and pride. Pride for me anyhow. And I’m just not convinced that my wife’s pride will be restored by moving. I know peace will come back, but what about the things that make a person feel better about life?

 

[Dot3]

I hear everyone who is talking about moving. My wife has absolutely mentioned that. That’s a hard pill. Like someone said, pick your poison.

No bro. This is me coming to terms with the fact that all this good advice, which goes against my instincts, might have to be implemented. Along with all the good advice to get a lawyer involved AGAIN, to deal with the current fallout (not the initial fallout). No, I don’t sound like fiberglass dude. My previous post was long so I get you not catching the meta point. I was laying out reasons why I hadn’t considered moving yet but had been against it. This thread confirms the need to rethink things and I’ve got sense enough to know when I need to back up and punt. Of course moving is a last resort, but don’t insult my willingness and ability to protect my family.