Maggie’s best bull shizzle someone told you and was serious

[KHOOKS]

Seanh,

It is true I seen it on that movie Waterworld. Kevin Costner is one of those guys he was talking about. LOL

 

[captcoop]

I have a buddy that claims to have played for Florida State under a scholarship , and to have " blown out his knee" and lost the scholarship . He claims to have been in the army worked on Navy ships in Egypt. Has 4 houses paid for around the country, and a half a mil in his savings account. His duty weapon was an "AR 14" not "15" or M4. I took him and another buddy of mine to a gun show, after the long day. My other buddy said " Man , your friend is full of shit"! There's no fucking way he was in the Army, everything he said about the army was total bullshit! I ended up taking one if my AR's over to his house, he couldn't even strip the gun down! He said " yeah, it's been a while since I messed with an Ar-14 like this" I laughed to my self!

 

[Giner25]

a buddy of mine told me "When I was in high school in New Mexico, I played wide reciever until I got hit by Brian Urlacher and he broke my collar bone, ending my career"

Same dude has a Red Bull tatoo one his shoulder because "I was sponsored by Red Bull when I raced sport bikes."

 

[Killer Spade 13]

Like I said once, heard a guy telling a bunch of cuties that he was a door gunner on a Cobra in Viet Nam.

 

[budiceale]

i had a guy tell me that he could shoot a 1" group at 100 yards.....with a shotgun......and with birdshot....all the pellets landed in a 1"group at 100 yards.

 

[budiceale]

i've mentioned this on another thread but...i was in walmart against my will one time and there was a nooby hunter at the counter in the sporting goods section. he asked the genius, "what's the difference between a 30-06 and a 270?" the genius told him, "the 30-06 is for shooting round nosed bullets and the 270 is for shooting the pointy kind." and he was the local, in-store expert!!!

 

[Jonc07]

Had a coworker tell me he shot at a coyote at 40 yards with his 8mm Mauser and the darn thing had such fast reflexes that it stepped to the side dodging his bullet.

 

[budiceale]

i've had several dodge the bullet....always when i close my eyes and yank the trigger

 

[usafabrad]

I had a guy at the Academy tell me, and i quote "we were marching on pass and review, and as we passed the reviewing stand, I saluted the guidon so hard I snapped it off and the general saluted ME" He was not kidding. He was a dersh.

 

[High Binder]

Had a coworker tell me he shot at a coyote at 40 yards with his 8mm Mauser and the darn thing had such fast reflexes that it stepped to the side dodging his bullet.

Even my paper targets move to avoid the bullets.

 

[DMW32/16]

update on mr ranger sniper man.
so today, i met with him again. said he owned m60's and m48's that were used at d-day. i asked him if he meant mg42s. he said nope, thats not it, they are m60s and m48's. I just had to giggle to myself in my head.

also, this guy is a f.i.b. all the wi guys will know what that is.

remaction, i asked this guy where he did ranger school,i asked if he did it at fort leonardwood missouri,
"YUP! he replies. thats where it was at."

any rangers here? where does ranger school happen? or in his words "ranger camp". what should i ask him next? will be meeting with him again next monday.

also, for the lineman out there, this guy wanted me to run him a temp service right off the transformer to an outlet. no overcurrent protection or anything. i said "fuck no. you need to have a breaker panel with a main or else you are relying on our transformer fuse". he said, well, the trans is fused, what the big deal?

I used to hate the term f I b however if I ever move back to the area ill live on the Wisconsin side grew up near the line.

 

[Cartman]

Keep in mind this guy was a sergeant in the Marines, a hunter, and not known to be a liar or drunk. The claim -- made in all seriousness -- was something like 3" groups all day long with his 30-06 Savage hunting rifle at 1000 yards. I'm not sure if his problem was he's an idiot and doesn't know 1000 yards or 3" from the hole in his arse, or if it is like the guy with a pig for a girlfriend who is convinced, just convinced, she's hotter than a Victoria's Secret lingerie model -- and tells everyone as much. Sometimes you just feel so bad for a guy like that you keep your mouth shut, nod, and smile.

 

[beretta_man11]

I was in conversation with a co-worker yesterday about flashlights. He bought a new one sitting next to the checkout at home depot of which was supposed to be the best on the market... he told me he is going to make an attachment and put on his rifle so he can shoot at night. he has a special scope that lets him see in pitch black. he has used it several times to hit targets at 500yds, in total darkness. he couldnt recall the name but he paid over $200 for it!

 

[Peloton]

Had a conversation with a co-worker the other day. He was in the Army (motor transport) years ago and knows I'm a "rifle-guy" The conversation turned to rifle qualification in the services and I pointed out that the Marines course of fire has 200, 300, and 500 strings of fire. He said, "Yeah, the Army qual is only 300, but I used to go to the known distance range and make 500 yd head-shots (M-16A2 with iron sights)........wait for it........waaaaait for it............all day long. I said that we should go shooting one of these days and that I know a place where we can shoot 500yds or farther. He was suddenly "busy" every weekend for the next month. haha

 

[ricklaut]

Today... WalMart. Stopped in to verify that they didn't have any .22LR. The guy at the counter was "typical" - you've seen him - completely disheveled look, big gap between his front teeth, looked like he didn't comb his hair when he got out of bed and then dropped half his breakfast on his shirt...

They did have .22 Short, and since I have an old Savage pump action that takes them, I asked for a box. Unfortunately, that meant this guy and I were going to talk for a minute. He told me that "a guy on the east coast" is about to solve the .22LR shortage 'cause he came up with a way to reload them. Uh huh. Said he's converting them to centerfire, and taking apart shotgun shells to melt the lead & use the powder.

His compadre, who had been helping him stock the shelves with the .22 Short ammo (it took 2 of them - there were at least 20 boxes of it - when I walked up, they were both sitting on the floor with them spread out in front of them), and who was sporting the same look (but was slightly more articulate), was nodding his head in agreement. I just smiled, thanked him & bailed.

So, be on the lookout for the latest in reloading tech! I'm sure these two rocket scientists are clued in.

 

[EMorr]

I had a former co-worker explain to me that the reason he was not getting the accuracy he wanted out of his brand new two thousand dollar AR was because he could not properly clean the barrel. You see he was forced to use cleaning kits that were designed for use with .223 Remington and his rifle was chambered for 5.56 NATO, according to him only military personal were allowed to buy cleaning kits for 5.56 NATO rifles.

He also claimed that it was illegal for civilians to mount flashlights on firearms among many other stupid things. I have plenty other great stories from current co-workers but some of them browse the forums so I can't share them until either they or I move along.

 

[Victor N TN]

Back 6 or 8 years ago there was a young man at a gun show I was attending with a run of the mill black phosphate finish AR type rifle slung over his shoulder. It happened that he was directly behind me trying to sell this rifle to another young man with a lady in tow. I mean this was a STANDARD AR. No heavy barrel. No match sites. NOTHING He tells the potential buyer that this rifle with him firing it, will put 20 out of 20 rounds in less than a 5" group at 1,000 yards. I turned around and asked how many matches he had won with it. He looked at me like I was butting in. I told him to get his ammo and we'll go to the car. I was a member at ORSA that have a very nice 1,000 yard firing range. If he could do that I would give him double what he was asking for the rifle. He glared at me like he could run through me and turned and left. The lady looked at me and asked what was wrong with him. I told her he was just blowing smoke. I laughed and went about my limited business.

 

[Trapshooter12]

My Son who lives in Texas was telling about a guy he knew that could shoot quarted size groups at 1200 yards. I told my Son that if that guy was that good the Military would have him as a Sniper. My Son said he's not in the Military at which point I said it didn't matter if the guy was that good they would have him since he would never miss.

As the conversation continued I told him to have the guy show him in person, at which point my Son said that they were supposed to shoot that weekend and he would take a picture of the target. Needless to say I never heard anymore about it.

 

[Dog&Jeep]

Last week a Telecomm Engineer form my office came up wanting advice on getting on target at 500 yards. (Longest distance at our local range.) I know he spent a lot of money, and got a nice Tikka Tactical. I also know what kind of a guy he is.

After getting "Yeah, yeah, yeah'ed..." through a discussion of the basics; I finally just told him that he needed to spend more time behind his gun, getting to know it. He acted a little offended, and told me:

"I know my gun just fine! I've read the owner's manual 4 times!

I just wished him well...

 

[458win]

Some of my favorite quotes from army and iraq days...

"M16s only shoot 800yrds after that the bullet falls out of the air." WTF really? I think he was using ACME bullets from wile coyote

"556 bullets are designed to tumble through the air so they cause excessive damage. Which is why a bullet can hit you in the knee and come out your neck" (I didn't even know what to say to this and this came from a E6!!)

Not sure how many times a conversation has gone down like this...
"What was your MOS in the Army?"
"I was a Sniper"
Conversation ended there as the rest was BS

"Ak47 cant hit anything past 50yrds"

And the best for last..

"I was on the Army shooting team and we shot all the way out to 3000 meters with the 300 win mag"
I asked if he ment 300 and he said nope! 3000 all day long.... I hope to be that good one day

 

[Sniper Uncle]

And then, where I work, there are at least five ex-snipers----I know because they have the base-ball caps which identify them as such.
Two of them have specilized 5.56's that will shoot five holes in to a group smaller than a dime at 1500yds--all day long. In fact they have driven tacks with them.
One of them has a .308 that will shoot 2500yds, and do a group the size of a quarter of 10 shots at that range.
I don't remember the fantastic things the others can do, because I sorta stopped listening to folks with "sniper" sewn on a baseball cap.

 

[seanh]

When you get the "sniper" guys, just start feeding them some serious bullshit. Makeup stuff that you know they'll retell to someone else.

Something like

"I know I don't show or really talk about it but I too was a sniper but not with a specific group...was special contract, that's to say, I got called when they needed me. This one mission where I/we had to use a special weapon...X-ray scope on a Gamma Ray rifle." "you could focus the rifle on a person's head at 5 miles through the hull of a ship...they'd die in their sleep, of an aneurysm".

When they call BS on you, have them go look it up. If they can't find anything, just tell them they simply don't have clearance to view the data.

 

[eli polite]

I went to a gun store today. not so local it was a 45min drive. I have been there several times. The owner is kind of odd to begin with but he knows his shit. This time I go and he has a few new people working for him I guess business is good. Any way I'm looking at a sig p238 and I here his 20something year old employee talking to an older man wearing a VFW hat.. now the employee is wearing some busted old ass Vietnam era gear and coke bottle glasses and scraggily face hair. he is telling the vet that he just got out of the army after serving 4 years and he had to leave because he was wounded in the field. Here is where it gets good.. he tells the old man that he was shot while trying to save two of his wounded friends during an extraction.. he said that he was shot in the leg while getting them on the helicopter and because the helicopter was full he had to he had to hang from the skid as they were lifting off he got hit in the shoulder so he had to hang with one arm until they could set him down some where safe. The old man just said I'm glad your doing well and walked out. he than turned his attention to me asking if I needed help I just said there is nothing you can help me with.

 

[shankster..]

This: and he got mad at me me when I didn't believe him:

 

[HillBilly_Sniper]

This: and he got mad at me me when I didn't believe him:

Lol he prolly went with the fail safe "hold at the top of his back" and bang drops them every time

 

[UIUCPPQ]

Local fellow told me his son can shoot 5 shots into a quarter sized group at 100 yards with iron sights on his .45 ACP standing unsupported.

Never did come show me when I invited him to the range, which was disappointing because that would've been a sight to see.

 

[danieljay]

i had a guy tell me that he could shoot a 1" group at 100 yards.....with a shotgun......and with birdshot....all the pellets landed in a 1"group at 100 yards.

Careful with this one... Had an old-timer sucker me out of a case of beer when I said he couldn't do it. He made a cut slug, which is technically birdshot. Should have known better than to talk smack!

 

[tbird1960]

I was at a local gunshow and this fellow was walking around with a cut stock 303 British rifle with a weaver scope on it and the sign sticking in the barrel said WW11 Sniper rifle. Gave everybody a good laugh.

 

[barnesuser28]

I had a friend tell me that a BOTW rifle can, and i quote, "easily kill game out to 2 miles." He was telling that to a few people and they seemed impressed but when he left i raised my BS flag..

 

[eli polite]

I had a friend tell me that a BOTW rifle can, and i quote, "easily kill game out to 2 miles." He was telling that to a few people and they seemed impressed but when he left i raised my BS flag..

may be! if the wind was at his back and he was lucky enough to lob it into a prairie dog nest. it might kill one.

 

[Big Bo]

Co-workers grandpa joined the Army, was such a great shot in basic the Army had grandpa train the snipers.

 

[Dave62677]

Friends said the longest confirm kill by army with an AR15 5.56 from 1 & 1/2 miles away.

 

[Brenneman]

The standard "I was a SEAL and did some crazy shit with them but I cant talk about that" Also another told me he was an armorer for the Navy in Alaska and they would fly him down to teach SEALs how to shoot.

 

[Big Bo]

He shot a deer offhand at 750 yds, then while in a tree he shot a deer at 1200 yds with a 7mm mag, held dead center in the cross hairs both times cause a 7mm mag shoots flat.

 

[SavageLapua]

He shot a deer offhand at 750 yds, then while in a tree he shot a deer at 1200 yds with a 7mm mag, held dead center in the cross hairs both times cause a 7mm mag shoots flat.

Like a frickin' laser beam...

 

[Dog&Jeep]

I got one brewing at work right now. I'm not ready to call BS quite yet...mostly because he's a new manager.

He showed up in my office this morning with the opening line: "So I hear you're a long range hunter."

"Well...I'm a hunter, at least. And my hobby is precision shooting."

"I shoot 3-gun, and yada yada yada. I don't have the temperament for precision. I'm not happy unless I'm shooting 600-700 rounds in a day."

"Okay..."

"My daughter likes precision though. When she practices, she seldom fire more than 5 rounds all day. Sometimes only 3. Like I said, not my style."

"Okay..."

He went on about some other stuff. There were times he almost sounded like he had some idea what he was talking about, but not often.

We'll have to wait and see how this plays out.

 

[remaction]

And then, where I work, there are at least five ex-snipers----I know because they have the base-ball caps which identify them as such.
Two of them have specilized 5.56's that will shoot five holes in to a group smaller than a dime at 1500yds--all day long. In fact they have driven tacks with them.
One of them has a .308 that will shoot 2500yds, and do a group the size of a quarter of 10 shots at that range.
I don't remember the fantastic things the others can do, because I sorta stopped listening to folks with "sniper" sewn on a baseball cap.

You must be from WI, one of these guys has to be the guy I wrote about on page 1 of this thread!

 

[The King]

I lived with a guy for a bit...he was 'a fighter pilot in nam...and then a race car driver in Europe...and a porn star." I always laughed inside a bit.

One day I was digging in the basement for some windex. I found a picture of a super young him standing next to a downed Mig. Then him standing with his squadron and plane. The next box had a detachable steering wheel, some trophies, and a picture of him with an old single seat lotus. And there were some tapes with an interesting set of names and him listed as the star.

Shut me right the fuck up.

 

[barnesuser28]

I got a new one today, so i was talking guns with a kid in my class (ya know, the kind that thinks they know anything and everything when it comes to guns, but doesnt know what ballistic coefficient means) and he was trying to convince me that his grandpa's 30-06 and 7mm rem are common elephant rifles in africa, and that there was no such thing as a 375 H&H, 416 rem, rig... etc. After about 15 minutes of me trying to prove to him that there are other cals than a 243 win, 30-06, and 7mm rem, i finally decided to change the subject to long range shooting/hunting. So i tell him that i have shot out to 1800 yards and do quite a bit between 800-1400 yards with my 338 Lapua, so then he tells me that he can keep 5 shots on a 24" plate at 300 yards (in a bragging tone ). I just said "wow, good job!"

 

[Jonc07]

Why is it that whenever you try to kindly offer some factual information to someone who is claiming that their .243 only drops a foot at 1000 yards with a 100 yard zero that they always get mad and claim that their best friend is a seal, spec-ops, etc. and that's what he uses and he knows what he's talking about. Am i the only one that has noticed this or is every special forces member required to have at least one dumbass friend? Really, this happens on a regular basis.

 

[Jedi]

<style type="text/css">P { margin-bottom: 0.08in; }</style> Several years ago I worked at a place that had a group of guys that loved to gossip, they were worst than any group of females. Anything you said to one of these clowns the whole office would know in hours, even if you told them in confidence not to repeat it.
The stuff these guys spread around was second/third hand info and some of it very personal that upset numerous people, one Lil gal even quit because of the crap these clowns were circulating
Truly I despised these gossips and the hurtful stuff they spread around, it was like they derived some sick pleasure from spreading malicious rumors
So myself and another guy decided to expose these tards and stoke the fire with BS, sometimes it was almost impossible to keep a straight face as you spun your tale. Even funnier was by the time it got back to one of us the BS had been embellished with even more BS as the yarn was retold by this group and made its way around the office.
Truly it was funny to watch the gossip mill spit out its own, they could not help themselves in their haste to spread gossip, their brains went into neutral and mouths overdrive. The look on their faces when we informed them that we fed them BS to expose them … priceless
The whole office pretty much shunned them, payback is a bitch
Whats even funnier is that those not privy to what was going, to this day still spread the BS around exposing themselves as part of that exclusive club of Gossips
Still it makes me laugh when I hear someone regurgitate the BS

 

[jason1215]

Had a kid in school tell me he went bear hunting and got a 400 pounder. Asked what he shot it with and he said a 22. Then another kid told me he was shooting a glock at a shooting range and a deer ran out in front of the bullets, then his cousin went up to the deer and shot it with a shotgun cause it wasn't dead. Till this day he still claims the story true, got so good at lying he started believing his own stories.

 

[Tacsnipe73]

Why is it that whenever you try to kindly offer some factual information to someone who is claiming that their .243 only drops a foot at 1000 yards with a 100 yard zero that they always get mad and claim that their best friend is a seal, spec-ops, etc. and that's what he uses and he knows what he's talking about. Am i the only one that has noticed this or is every special forces member required to have at least one dumbass friend? Really, this happens on a regular basis.

No, you're not alone.....

 

[topgun99]

I was working at a small PD in 1999 with a guy who was about 22-23 years old who claimed to have been in Desert Storm. I just looked at him and asked if he got some special waiver that allowed him to enlist at 12. He didnt say anything about it after that.

 

[DarnYankeeUSMC]

I have this guy who seems to have everything in control. He seems to have a calming effect on most people. I have seen some major crap hit the fan and he steps right up and takes control. I am really don't trust him myself. I just don't trust anyone who starts a speach with " Let me assure you, I will get to the bottom of this and those reponsible will be held accountable" .

 

[barnesuser28]

When nosler told me their 210 ALR has a G1 bc of .730......

 

[MosesTheTank]

A co-workers' husband is a retired plastic surgeon who comes from a wealthy family. He is also the most delusional ego-maniacal asshole I have ever known, and I have known some outstanding examples. I shall refer to him as "Frank the Asshole" (FTA), mostly because his name is Frank and he is a 1st class asshole. In spite of his assumed intelligence and years of hard work and training, he now supplants intelligence, hard work and training with buying really expensive shit that he doesn't know anything about or how to use. This is soon followed by saying a bunch of really stupid shit....

Some years ago a group of us were on a farm that sported some exotic animals that were a bit on the shy side I broke out the Kowa so we could get a good look at them. These things were out somewhere around 1,200 yards. When my brother and I were (jokingly) talking about ranging the llamas, doping the wind, and then dropping them, Mr. FTA quickly blurted out that he could easily hit them with his M16 (yes, he actually has one). He could even perform this task on full-auto just making a mess of Swiss cheese out of these hoofed Andeans. Shit, his M16 is so powerful he actually felt sorry for the llamas for not being at a much greater distance so as to challenge his marksmanship skills. He proceeded to tell us that when he was in the Army he had to qualify EVERY month at 1,500 meters. Never mind that he was an Army doctor. With that out came our 300WMs. We walked some steel out to about where the llamas previously were and proceeded to clang away. His audience began to chide him and demand he get his (iron sighted) M16 and show us how it's done. He did not handle this well at all.

Fast forward a few years to last month and Frank now has a Bofors Howitzer. WTF? Just out of the blue he said he had one, and he could hit shit miles away. I asked his wife about this and she said that after the llama incident he went on a quest the the most powerful long range tool he could find. He found it, but didn't exactly get it. A doctor friend of his, who is from India, said he knew some people in the Indian armed forces that could get their hands on a retired Howitzer for him if he was willing to shell out the cash. In spite of his considerable financial resources and no small amount of effort FTA has not been able to acquire his Bofors 155mm Howitzer. He even employed a law firm to act on his behalf. But IN HIS MIND he has it. He proceeded to tell us how it has night vision (magnum rated, of course), can take out ships that lay just beyond the horizon (he didn't state the reason he might need to do this), and that if there is ever social unrest, "well just let those fuckers set foot on my castle...". Yes, Frank, open up on them with a Howitzer (that you do not now, and never will, own) as they cross the holy boundary also known as the end of your driveway.

 

[hank440]

A guy I used to work with remembered the season that the Cubs were undefeated...

Top it; I dare you!

I will give it a shot

I know a guy who is 45 yrs old, lives with his mom and owns over 300 handguns and one GA Precision built "Marine Corps sniper rifle" (HIS WORDS)

But he doesn't own any ammo at all because he mom won't allow it in her house. LOL

 

[eli polite]

A co-workers' husband is a retired plastic surgeon who comes from a wealthy family. He is also the most delusional ego-maniacal asshole I have ever known, and I have known some outstanding examples. I shall refer to him as "Frank the Asshole" (FTA), mostly because his name is Frank and he is a 1st class asshole. In spite of his assumed intelligence and years of hard work and training, he now supplants intelligence, hard work and training with buying really expensive shit that he doesn't know anything about or how to use. This is soon followed by saying a bunch of really stupid shit....

Some years ago a group of us were on a farm that sported some exotic animals that were a bit on the shy side I broke out the Kowa so we could get a good look at them. These things were out somewhere around 1,200 yards. When my brother and I were (jokingly) talking about ranging the llamas, doping the wind, and then dropping them, Mr. FTA quickly blurted out that he could easily hit them with his M16 (yes, he actually has one). He could even perform this task on full-auto just making a mess of Swiss cheese out of these hoofed Andeans. Shit, his M16 is so powerful he actually felt sorry for the llamas for not being at a much greater distance so as to challenge his marksmanship skills. He proceeded to tell us that when he was in the Army he had to qualify EVERY month at 1,500 meters. Never mind that he was an Army doctor. With that out came our 300WMs. We walked some steel out to about where the llamas previously were and proceeded to clang away. His audience began to chide him and demand he get his (iron sighted) M16 and show us how it's done. He did not handle this well at all.

Fast forward a few years to last month and Frank now has a Bofors Howitzer. WTF? Just out of the blue he said he had one, and he could hit shit miles away. I asked his wife about this and she said that after the llama incident he went on a quest the the most powerful long range tool he could find. He found it, but didn't exactly get it. A doctor friend of his, who is from India, said he knew some people in the Indian armed forces that could get their hands on a retired Howitzer for him if he was willing to shell out the cash. In spite of his considerable financial resources and no small amount of effort FTA has not been able to acquire his Bofors 155mm Howitzer. He even employed a law firm to act on his behalf. But IN HIS MIND he has it. He proceeded to tell us how it has night vision (magnum rated, of course), can take out ships that lay just beyond the horizon (he didn't state the reason he might need to do this), and that if there is ever social unrest, "well just let those fuckers set foot on my castle...". Yes, Frank, open up on them with a Howitzer (that you do not now, and never will, own) as they cross the holy boundary also known as the end of your driveway.

tell him I have a nuke I can sell him .. Its some where off the coast of north Carolina Ill take a million as the deposit. when its finally found he can have it

 

[Midwestside]

• 
  [*=1]F&D Defense Website
  [*=1] Model: FD308-17
  [*=1] Caliber: .308 Win
  [*=1] Distance: 100yds
  [*=1] Best Grouping Ammo: Blackhills 175gr BTHP Win Match, Factory New
  [*=1] Best Group: .175 MOA