A co-workers' husband is a retired plastic surgeon who comes from a wealthy family. He is also the most delusional ego-maniacal asshole I have ever known, and I have known some outstanding examples. I shall refer to him as "Frank the Asshole" (FTA), mostly because his name is Frank and he is a 1st class asshole. In spite of his assumed intelligence and years of hard work and training, he now supplants intelligence, hard work and training with buying really expensive shit that he doesn't know anything about or how to use. This is soon followed by saying a bunch of really stupid shit....
Some years ago a group of us were on a farm that sported some exotic animals that were a bit on the shy side I broke out the Kowa so we could get a good look at them. These things were out somewhere around 1,200 yards. When my brother and I were (jokingly) talking about ranging the llamas, doping the wind, and then dropping them, Mr. FTA quickly blurted out that he could easily hit them with his M16 (yes, he actually has one). He could even perform this task on full-auto just making a mess of Swiss cheese out of these hoofed Andeans. Shit, his M16 is so powerful he actually felt sorry for the llamas for not being at a much greater distance so as to challenge his marksmanship skills. He proceeded to tell us that when he was in the Army he had to qualify EVERY month at 1,500 meters. Never mind that he was an Army doctor. With that out came our 300WMs. We walked some steel out to about where the llamas previously were and proceeded to clang away. His audience began to chide him and demand he get his (iron sighted) M16 and show us how it's done. He did not handle this well at all.
Fast forward a few years to last month and Frank now has a Bofors Howitzer. WTF? Just out of the blue he said he had one, and he could hit shit miles away. I asked his wife about this and she said that after the llama incident he went on a quest the the most powerful long range tool he could find. He found it, but didn't exactly get it. A doctor friend of his, who is from India, said he knew some people in the Indian armed forces that could get their hands on a retired Howitzer for him if he was willing to shell out the cash. In spite of his considerable financial resources and no small amount of effort FTA has not been able to acquire his Bofors 155mm Howitzer. He even employed a law firm to act on his behalf. But IN HIS MIND he has it. He proceeded to tell us how it has night vision (magnum rated, of course), can take out ships that lay just beyond the horizon (he didn't state the reason he might need to do this), and that if there is ever social unrest, "well just let those fuckers set foot on my castle...". Yes, Frank, open up on them with a Howitzer (that you do not now, and never will, own) as they cross the holy boundary also known as the end of your driveway.
grew up near the line.
