Maggie’s Can you add to this?

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..."Poof". He was 5 foot two inches and weighed 400 pounds. "NO! That is not what I meant." She informed him that he had to be more specific.
 
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...9mm Browning. Lowlight was so disgusted by the bad luck he had been having that he went into the nearest bar he could find. The old barmaid walked up to him stroking a tall tumbler. She had a soiled towel stuck in the front of her pants and the rest of her appearance didn't get any better. She was 25 pounds overweight and in need of a trip to the salon for a hair dye. Her eyes were blood shot and her teeth were yellow from four decades of smoking. She threw her leg up over his lap and....
 
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....A H&k 45, he turned to shoot and hit the man dead center, but what he hit him with was really and airsoft bb. He inspected the gun closer and it was an airsoft mock up. He droped the toy and......
 
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...and landed on the ground with a thump. He scrambled to his feet, looked around with slightly wild eyes. Suddenly a gnarled old figure loomed up in front him and...
 
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grabbed the bouncer by the ears and in one swift motion bent him forward and with the speed of light went behind the stunned bouncer and shoved a cork up his raunchy butt. The gnarled old figure then proceeded to exclaim "Luke I'm your father . . . may the force be with you!" The bouncer then . . .
 
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They both lost their train of thought for a second when they mistakened a man wearing a chrome sombrero flying an open cockpit cropduster for a UFO then they.......