I was shot down by a SQ command (major) when I submitted a waiver for TOS. I told her I understood and would pick up the paperwork and move up the chain. Next day I visit her boss (COL) and laid out my justification. Next day I get a call from commander's office to be there at XX hours. She spent about 15 minutes berating me until she made a tactical error. Apparently, I had a bored look on my face and was perusing her "I Love Me" wall. She stopped talking for a second and asked, "Am I boring you?" I replied, "Frankly, ma'am (accent on bitch), you're wasting your time and mine. I followed the chain." "GET THE F#$@ OUT OF MY OFFICE." She was so pissed she didn't realize I did not salute her.
1st SGT told me about a week later the Colonel told her to STFU. My request was approved.
Everyone was either a butter bar or an E1 at some point, just as at some point everyone will get chewed on. Fortunately, I never had any serious issues, but I was a magnet for stupid shit myself...
I was entering the exchange at Bolling AFB back in the day. Unfortunately, we had begun switching from green fatigues to BDUs, and hats were in short supply. (You were not permitted to wear a standard hat with you BDUs at that point, and the Army was running low, so they wouldn’t sell them to the USAF.) I think I was an A1C at that point, and I reported to an E9 (CMSgt).
I’m getting ready to enter the exchange and I’m in the safe zone of being under this long overhang at the entrance. (For you non-military people: you’re required to wear a hat at all times while outside with the rare exception of certain designated places that you can get away with not having one on.)
Out of nowhere a Marine Corps Master Sergeant shows up and just start letting me have it:
Marine: “Airman! Where is you cover!?!?”
SCENE: We are near the entrance to the base exchange with officers, mostly senior officers, walking in an out of the building.
ME: (i’m totally caught off guard) ”Er, cover sir?”
(I’m clearly the biggest dipshit the Marine has ever seen, based on his reaction to me asking that question, or calling him Sir... maybe both.)
Marine: “Your hat Airman, were is your damn hat!?”
Me: “I seem to have lost it sir.”
Marine: “Call me Sergeant!”
(My brain is starting to engage, but I havent been yelled at since basic, so I’m caught off guard...)
Me: “Yes sir!”
Marine: [apparently pissed off the I said ’Sir’ and starting to notice the officers either grinning or outright laughing as the walk by]
“You [USAF] people always have an excuse...”
Me: “Well, sergeant, I’m required to wear a BDU hat with my combat fatigues. However, with no regard for AF Regulation 35-10, AAFES appears to be out if hats and the Army refuses to sell them the AF personnel.”
(An AF O-6 walking behind us actually starts laughing.)
Marine: “You being a smartass with me Airman?”
(He‘s beginning to look like hes gonna kick my ass, and being a Marine MSgt he probably very proficient at it.)
Me: “Sargent, if you have a problem with my attitude or responses, you may feel free to contact my reporting offical, Chief Master Sargent Edward Logan, at 202-123-4567. I will tell him to expect your call.”
Marine: “Get a cover!”
Me: “Yessir!”
(I walk into the Exchange and there are 4 field grade officers, including the Colonel from before.)
Col: “You handled that well Airman.”
Me: “Thank you sir.”
Col: “Try not get your ass kicked by anymore Marines... and see about that hat.”
Me: “Yes sir. Thats why I’m here sir.”
Never did find a fucking hat...
