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Don’t masturbate with Christmas ornaments doctor warns amid spike in seasonal injuries
Dr. Welsh warns that inserting candy canes and other confections can cause infections.Jam Press
According to data by the UK’s National Electronic Injury Surveillance System, there were 13,213 cases in which people aged 25-64 inserting “decorating items” in their bodies in 2021 alone, Jam Press reported.
Go figure: Experts attributed the use of these festive foreign objects to “autoeroticism,” which Merriam Webster Dictionary defines as the “sexual gratification obtained solely through stimulation by oneself of one’s own body.”
It’s not just Yuletide baubles that have been found in peculiar orifices. Last fall, a randy Michigan got six kidney beans lodged in his urethra during a bizarre attempt at sexual gratification — known in the medical community as “sounding.” Meanwhile, in September, a 27-year-old man in India had to be hospitalized after allegedly shoving a deodorant canister up his butt, where it remained for three weeks before doctors removed it.
