Maggie’s Ever have one of those sayings that just stuck in your brain forever?

[Ken Burton]

Brother always said" It's hotter than a Nuns cunt in a forest fire". Rest in peace, Bro

 

[animaldoc]

"If ifs and buts were candy and nuts, we'd all have a merry Christmas."

 

[SEMO Shooter]

If a frog had wings he wouldn't bump his ass when he hopped.

 

[kimbergoldmatch]

Hotter than a two pecker billy goat

Colder than a witch’s titty in a brass bra

Hire a teenager while they still know everything

If you always do what you’ve always done, you’ll always get what you always got

 

[P-Squared]

All a man has in life is his word. (from Dad when I was about 4)

 

[quietmike]

He's too stupid to pour piss out of a boot if the instructions were written on the heel.

 

[DarnYankeeUSMC]

Busier than a one arm paper hanger.

Is a frog's ass water tight?

Pussy hair is stronger than a three corded rope.

 

[Unknown]

You never learn when you are talking, you only learn when you are listening.

If idiots could fly, they would block out the sun.

 

[Yasherka]

If If If. If my sister had a dick she'd be my brother

 

[SCRAM2013]

I always heard "hotter than a NINE peckered Billy goat" cooking in a seafood restaurant on the coast.

Mouth shut. Eyes ears open

If I wanted any shit out of you, I would squeeze your head.

Don't get smart. I like you just the way you are.

And the one that has saved my ass many times. Came from a VV. I have learned to not go prompt critical on a light switch. He still tells me.... "John, remain calm. Let them hang themselves." He knows me better than I gave him credit for...

"Life is good. We are lucky to be here" another one of his.

Peace, E

 

[molonlave]

My dad's advice to me before I left for college:
"Be careful where you put your dick and your signature "

 

[Conaso]

They can take all your money, possessions, and life. But your honor and integrity you have to give it away.

 

[S Roche]

Sweating like a fat man at a free dance

 

[M8541Reaper]

“Instructions unclear, dick stuck in _______.”

 

[Wild dog]

It wouldn’t be this way if you didn’t want it this way.

 

[Wild dog]

You get what you get and you don’t get upset.

 

[PAYDIRT]

Female advice from my G-Pa "A whore was so dumb she gave away a million dollars worth of pussy before she figured out she could get paid for it"

 

[lht645]

The leading cause of disappointment in life is in trading what we want most for what we want now.

 

[PAYDIRT]

"The things you own, end up owning you"

 

[Sgt47]

"Keep up thy airspeed, lest the ground come up and smite thee."

 

[Kir]

From a book I read...

SLEEP TIL NOON AND SCREW 'EM ALL!

 

[DarnYankeeUSMC]

Boom Chaka Laka

 

[acudaowner]

heard this in the late 80's and it stuck in my head ever since even when I thought I was going to die in the hospital its almost always on a constant repeat .

 

[gray1974]

If a frog had hip pockets, it would tote a pistol to shoot snakes with.

 

[Mac 181FA]

Age and treachery will overcome Youth and confidence

 

[oneshot86]

monkey fuckin a football

 

[Jscb1b]

Chicken fucking a monkey.