Maggie’s Five year olds... HELP!!!

A

anesvick

Private
Minuteman
Dec 6, 2008
28
0
43
Clarksville, IN
#1
What is it with young boys?

Lets see, two weeks ago, big quart bottle of shampoo, and conditioner all over bathroom.

Last week, can of shaving cream all over same bathroom AND his bedroom.

This week, big pump bottle of catsup covering entire kitchen table, 10 lbs of sugar in the floor, with whole bottle of syrup dumped in said sugar!

That, plus he has decided that my miniature pinscher and my wifes shih-tzu are good footballs, and punching bags. (This pisses me off the most!)

Spanking doesn't work, not much to take away from a five year old (he destroys all his toys the day he gets them), I have concluded that I might just have to get a steel dog run for the kitchen, and use it as a giant sized play-pen.

Anyone have any ideas short of Chinese water torture, or military school?
 
#2
Re: Five year olds... HELP!!!

I have a 6 and a 4 year old. It's called patience. If you don't have you will go insane. Sometimes no matter how crazy things get you have to laugh at it and let it go.
 
#5
Re: Five year olds... HELP!!!

Ah, the boundless child. Much like a dog, a child with too much energy and no outlet to expend that energy, will turn to destructive tendencies to release that energy/stress. They are at "that age" where you think a burlap bag, a rope, a cinderblock, and deep water seems a viable alternative...Been there, done that. Not the burlap bag thing.
grin.gif


Solutions? I pose two. One nice and easy, the other slightly condeming to you, but not personal in nature. I will be perfectly blunt.

1) Wear the little bastards out! Tire the hell out of them. Run their asses into the ground. Play with them until they drop from exhaustion. An exhausted child is a healthy and non-mischievious child.
2) Hate to say it, but have to throw it out there. Watch your kids. They didn't do this under your, or your wife's, (I'm surmising you are a married man here), direct supervision. Lord knows the carnage they can create when left to their own devices...Ask my daughter about when she was 3 and went into the kitchen for 3 seconds to get a drink from the fridge. Then turned the knob on the stove on the way out. Promptly setting alight the potholder, and half of the counter. Yep, GREAT fun kids!

As the father of an almost 18 year old daughter, and an almost 16 year old son, I can tell you it's not going to get ANY easier, lol. The older they get, the more you will rationalize with male lions and alligators...


HAVE FUN! I sure did. Kinda. Well, not really...
wink.gif




Jack
 
#6
Re: Five year olds... HELP!!!

Hear your frustration. I have two. Each age bracket has its own set of problems. Soon I'll be facing the teenager problems and questions like "son! do you want to date my daughter?"

Any way, my kids were like that at times. It's called being a kid. They will get themselve in all kinds of troubles. But you know what ? They are my pride, joy, and life. What I am trying to say is Take a deep breath and exhale slowly. Pick your battle. Like Megacab said. There are ways to wear them out. Be cool man. I am all for a little spanking session in the butt, but never loose your cool no matter how frustrating it seems. Some day, you can sit back and watch "pay back" when they have kids of their own.
 
#7
Re: Five year olds... HELP!!!

+1 Megacab.....He's right on. Spend as much time doing stuff with him / them. You may feal like coming home and spending some quiet time in front of the TV and let someone else watch the little critter and you give him about 10 minutes of your time and think that is good enough because daddy needs his time to rest and decompress............WRONG !!!!!!! Grab him up and go play catch, football, work on the yard with him, fix something in the house with him as your helper, go to the store with him, give him responsibilities even if it's trivial. You are or should be his outlet for his energy. He will have a short attention span but this will increase with age...Give up your time and you will have a much easier and rewarding life and the bond that you form will be priceless.. I have 2 girls. One is 11 and the other is 13 and they are my jewels..SmokeRolls
 
#8
Re: Five year olds... HELP!!!

Mega's points are good. Work them out. Watch them.

You miss stuff but a simple shake of the head from dad is powerful if you are connected. As they grow older, repeat.

Sooner or later force may be applied. Remember, when you are gone this is where you remain.
 
#9
Re: Five year olds... HELP!!!

<div class="ubbcode-block"><div class="ubbcode-header">Originally Posted By: Megacab</div><div class="ubbcode-body">
1) Wear the little bastards out! Tire the hell out of them. Run their asses into the ground. Play with them until they drop from exhaustion. An exhausted child is a healthy and non-mischievious child.
2) Hate to say it, but have to throw it out there. Watch your kids.

As the father of an almost 18 year old daughter, and an almost 16 year old son, I can tell you it's not going to get ANY easier, lol. The older they get, the more you will rationalize with male lions and alligators...

Jack </div></div>


Ding, ding, ding, ding! We have a winner!!!

Seriously. I'm a father of a very intelligent and independant nine year old daughter and a bright but... well... evil at times two year old son and I can say that Jack is on the money here. Kids are like Labs. If you leave a Labrador to entertain itself... it will, but you probably won't like the outcome. If you don't burn off that extra, pent-up energy then they'll do it for you. But I do admit, someday's it's a question of who's trying to wear out whom.
 
#11
Re: Five year olds... HELP!!!

I have twins that are a little over 2 and a 6 year old. They are constantly double teaming the 6 year old and are like a pair of tornadoes. What is scary is my mom said the youngest boy is my twin, I guess Im getting what I was giving when I was younger. She was gray by 40 and Im getting there fast. Yesterday I was gone and the baby sitter was folding some clothes and my daughter used a Kirby to drain the fishtank, fish and kirby are both doa. I admit I was a bit steamed at first but now Im just glad nobody got electrocuted.

I keep telling myself I did the same or worse but Im not sure if its working or not....
 
#13
Re: Five year olds... HELP!!!

<div class="ubbcode-block"><div class="ubbcode-header">Originally Posted By: mtn_cowboy</div><div class="ubbcode-body">Give him an anvil with a 8" length of chain welded to it. He won't tear that up.</div></div>

I have seen kids that could tear that shit up with a rubber mallet.

Mike
 
#15
Re: Five year olds... HELP!!!

All good advice....I have a five year old boy and a two year old girl. My biggest problem is neither want to share toys. Megacab hit it dead on. Wear them out. When my boy gets in that mood it's time go outside and hit the trampoline because even a good little whack on the butt does not stop it.
 
#16
Re: Five year olds... HELP!!!

I managed to raise a Daughter almost without striking her, but just the once.

She had stepped out in front of a speeding car and I had yanked her back at the last second. I whacked her on the butt once, good and solid. She looked at me with a hurt, puzzled look. I told her that she would remember this because she got the whack, never had to hit her again, and she never forgot that life can be deceptive, either.

Corporal punishment isn't for effect, it's for reinforcing a message. Children need to know what it is, but they shouldn't need the lesson retaught over and over, a simple, "Do you remember the time I...", etc., usually should be, usually is, enough.

Several folks here have touched on it.

Kids do this, and then they do that, and then they do something else, and it keeps on keeping on. They try things out. It's called learning, and the best way to shorten the process is to explain things, consequences, potential good and bad outcomes, while the behavior is still fresh in their minds. Treat them like they are capable of learning, and they will expect your teaching, and not yout disapproval and pain. Don't become the thing they fear and avoid, become the thing they seek out and listen to. Become their source of approval.

Don't tell them not to do it, 'the power of no' immediately makes it obsessively mandatory that they try it.

My approach has been, "Well, I suppose you could do that, but when I tried it, such and such happened, and it turned out to be a really dumb stunt. But if you absolutely must learn things the hard way, sure, go ahead, and I'll keep the first aid kit handy". Then you smile.

The trick is not so much to tell them what to do and what not to do, but rather, what works, and what doesn't work, and why.

If you want angry kids, show them anger. If you want violent kids, show them violence. If you want thoughtful kids, show them thought. If you want kind kids, show them kindness. If you want stupid kids, show them stupidity, if you want patient kids, show them patience.

Etcetera.

Raising kids is the most important thing you'll ever do in your life. Don't just let it happen, think and craft the process. Perfect doesn't exist, but better is possible in every single thing you do. A good day is one where the better outweighs the worse.

My father taught me that profanity was the last recourse of the illiterate, and that violence was the last recourse of the incompetent. Those were very useful lessons.

You are the ones who show them who to be. Or maybe you'd like them to learn from someone else?

Greg
 
#17
Re: Five year olds... HELP!!!

My two are grown and in college.
I only hear from them when they need money or advice.
I'd gladly trade spots with you and have some 5 year olds again.

Point being, enjoy it while it lasts. It doesn't last that long in the grand scheme of things.
 
#18
Re: Five year olds... HELP!!!

The only folks that find this funny and are laughing their asses off are the ones that have been there. Remember that their little world's are on average 7 minutes in length. Yup, I think the best advice is to "wear their little asses out". Truer words were never spoken. A very tired child is a good child. Look at it as training. Be happy that you don't have a little lump that just sits there. When you look at your wife & say "what were they thinking?" Well, the blunt truth is that they can't. Their little brains aren't hard wired enough for the kind of thought that we normally think they should have. So the answer is that they weren't thinking, they can't. Like was said before PATIENCE & learn to smile at his shenanigans. The pay off is when you get our age you too will be able to laugh at someone else's little guy. Spend time with them while you can, they grow far faster than you thought they would. Games with walnuts & old fashon noisy pots & pans are great fun and they can't tear them up so fast. Interesting concept to a child that they will be able to play with something for more than two times with out it coming apart. If he can crush walnuts then move on to something harder.
Semper Fi & lots of Patience
 
#19
Re: Five year olds... HELP!!!

This may be of no help,
I have a 1 and a 7 year old....
about the time I am going crazy because they NEVER stop.....

I try to be thankful they aren't mouthy lazy slobs parked in front of the TV, like some other kids I've seen.....
wink.gif
 
#21
Re: Five year olds... HELP!!!

The firearms stay locked up, don't worry.

The thing is, I DO wear him out constantly, but he sleeps for like fifteen minutes, and is good to go again... wish I could power-nap like that.

Theres two other kids too, 10 year old girl, and 12 year old boy, both of whom don't seem to have as much of a problem with authority.

What makes it doubly harder, is the fact that I am the STEPfather to all three. I treat them as if they are mine, and the older two respond well to that (due to the fact that they cannot see their father till after they are 21 due to the fact that he molested the 10 year old girl) but the little one, he listens fine to me, until his dirtbag homeless jobless father calls, and for some reason, a switch flips in the little ones head and he starts ignoring me for a while.

I try to laugh about things (the baby powder all over my daughters room was his best one so far, still smells good in there) but I just thank God that my wife offers me plenty of latitude with them, this would not work otherwise, because I sometimes think she is unable to disipline them, they have made a habit of walking all over her.
 
#22
Re: Five year olds... HELP!!!

8 year old daughter, sons 6 & 2 here. Mega's right - work them, play with them, and generally keep them engaged until they drop from exhaustion. It wasn't as bad with 2, but 3 are a real workout.

Our 2 year old boy is the worst and a holy terror at times. He does things the older 2 never even thought about doing. It's really simple why - we don't spend as much 1 on 1 time with him as we did with the older 2. Between homework, projects, chores, etc. with the older 2, he's left to play on his own more. As a result, he gets in a lot more trouble than the other 2 ever did at his age.
 
#23
Re: Five year olds... HELP!!!

I'm a firm believer in what both Mega and Greg said , I'm currently raising a 4 yr old , my one and only and I have to say its making me age fast !! I call my dad daily and beg for forgivness for what ever I did when I was that age.

I've got mine in Karate two days a week and will start T-ball this spring , poor little guy has ADD like his mom and it makes some things realy hard for him. although I must be doing somthing right cause we get constant compliments on his manners. I look at it like when I train my dogs , positive reinforcment works better than phisical punishment , both kids and dogs want to make you happy more than anything and like puppys theiy have to have somthing to keep them occupied or they will get into trouble. I do give him a swat on the butt from time to time or a thump on his melon to get the focus back on track when he startes to stray a bit to much and has to be told more than once. We are a pretty active family and my son does his best to keep up , when I go outsdie to to hit the bag or role on the ground he is right beside me and generaly ends up with us rolling around tickeling eachother , but on some bad weather days he gets caben fever and get get a little off the chain then we generaly just gang up on mom !!

either way it can be realy hard and super frustrating from time to time but the biggest thing is to try to understand what they are wanting but it sounds like he just might need some mor ways to expend his energy or focus it
 
#24
Re: Five year olds... HELP!!!

i am in your same boat but mine is not spilling sugar on the floor, etc.

(out of respect to his dad i dont spank him but god know he needs it sometimes.)

but like mega said wear them out. take for instance, one day i caught him and his friend throwing rocks at my dogs, so for punishment i made him, not his friend, pick up every rock he threw plus more and throw them over the fence to the dirt pile next door. he did not like it but his accuracy got better and he is a lefty.


 
#25
Re: Five year olds... HELP!!!

Im not a father and never will be. But, I'll tell you what worked great for my Labrador. Feel free to try it on your kids, Im sure the results will be just as good:

0719_1.jpg
 
#26
Re: Five year olds... HELP!!!

make them clean it up.
make them buy new stuff
after they clean it up when they are all dirty put them in the shower and put on cold water.

be consistent and follow through on what you say. Put them into some sports or something they really like. If they do this kinda crap take it away for a day or whatever. Make them responsible.
 
#28
Re: Five year olds... HELP!!!

<div class="ubbcode-block"><div class="ubbcode-header">Originally Posted By: mtn_cowboy</div><div class="ubbcode-body">Give him an anvil with a 8" length of chain welded to it. He won't tear that up. </div></div>

Are you kidding me? Each of mine could be strapped in a straight jacket, locked in a padded room with two 500 series steel balls welded to the ceiling 10 feet off the ground. Come back in 30 minutes and the straight jacket is shreaded, the pads are now a fort, one of the balls is missing and the other is broken cleanly into. And they don't know how it got that way.

laugh.gif
 
#29
Re: Five year olds... HELP!!!

One son of mine once drank 1/2 bottle of bleach and had to be pumped out. he later on flooded the house... One broke his arm jumping between the couch........ One hit his brother with a hurley stick in the head giving him 6 stitches..... One took the handbrake off my car and its ended up down the road with him in it after crashing into a neighbours car..

They are kids. Let me tell you if they were sick you wouldnt be complaining. Count you lucky stars they are happy and healthy..

One buddy of mine lost an 11 year old girl last year to lukemia . This man and his wife are completly brokenhearted.

Start drinking or some other form of stress relieving remedy until they turn 18.. shit works for me !
 
#30
Re: Five year olds... HELP!!!

Man this is funny. I forget how things were. I'm not an old man (37 now) and my son is 18 and somehow, maybe my mind blocking things out, sub-conscious taking over or something, I have forgotten about the bad.

My kid has been a fairly good kid over the years with what seems relatively little problem / issues. I am not going to say he was perfect. I have seen ketchup all over the kitchen before and shit get broken. Once when in Korea on a TDY I got a call that he had been hit by a car on his bike (that sucked) Then another call a couple years while under the not so watchful eye of grandparents another bike accident and he was in ICU. The worse part of that ordeal was we were living in Virginia and he was in NY. Little fucker.

But now he's all but grown up, no one has been killed, and he just entered DEP for the Air Force. Yeah I still worry.

Folks say to wear them out, it does work, to a point. You might find that they will wear you out and when you fall asleep in the chair they will still be motoring around the house. Oh shit!

Enjoy your kids while you can and be as patient as possible. The next thing you know they will be all grown up and out the door. I never would have thought that time would fly by so fast.

Then, grandkids!
 
#31
Re: Five year olds... HELP!!!

LOL those are the fun years - wait until they hit about 14 - 15 and suddenly you're the stupidest creature on two legs and their friends know waaaay more. LOL

The good news is when they hit their early 20s you'll have regained your intellect.

I now have a 2 1/2 year old grandson who is every bit the terror that his Dad was - the good thing is though I can now get him all wound up and then wait for his parents to take him home . . . aaahhhhhh parental revenge is sweet.

Oh and by the way I found exercise just as good a punishment as a spanking and alot better for them. Plus it tires 'em out.
 
#32
Re: Five year olds... HELP!!!

First of all I believe that you are really into doing a great job of raising three children, and are looking at constructive ways to deal with one special needs behavior. One thing that I'm surprised that no one has been concerned about is his willingness to inflect pain(kicking,punching)on your animals. That needs to be carefully monitored as it could possibly be a different level of misplaced internal anger from the other acting out you describe, and require professional help. Regards
 
#33
Re: Five year olds... HELP!!!

<div class="ubbcode-block"><div class="ubbcode-header">Originally Posted By: anesvick</div><div class="ubbcode-body">
What makes it doubly harder, is the fact that I am the STEPfather to all three. I treat them as if they are mine, and the older two respond well to that (due to the fact that they cannot see their father till after they are 21 due to the fact that he molested the 10 year old girl) but the little one, he listens fine to me, until his dirtbag homeless jobless father calls, and for some reason, a switch flips in the little ones head and he starts ignoring me for a while.

I try to laugh about things (the baby powder all over my daughters room was his best one so far, still smells good in there) but I just thank God that my wife offers me plenty of latitude with them, this would not work otherwise, because I sometimes think she is unable to disipline them, they have made a habit of walking all over her. </div></div>

The Dirtbag Bio-dad is a somewhat typical reaction, sort of like a switch as you described, it would happen even without the dirtbag part. The kids are trying to deal with the situation and aren't sure what to do, as to no upset either side. It's odd but I see it all the time.


WIthout the latitude from your wife - your marriage wouldn't work long-term. However, the fact that they "walk all over her" is NOT good. You and your wife need to fix that now. You are a team. You're the parents, you are in charge, you are not their friend or play buddies - that is a secondary benefit not a primary role. Your wife needs to not only support your latitude of discipline, but she needs to discipline as well and it needs to be directly consistent with whatever the two of you agree upon. Do not ever undermine the authority of each other. You can talk, or question (in private) on how to handle a new situation but never in front of the kids - they need the consistency and structure. And they need to know that yes/no from Dad will also get a yes/no from Mom.

Once the kids see both of you are doing the same thing, without giving in, a lightswitch is going to go off in their heads, and you'll notice a dramatic change. It's not going to be quick or easy, but your lives will be better for it. And eventually your children and the rest of society will appreciate it.
 
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