Maggie’s Funny & awesome pics, vids and memes thread (work safe, no nudity)

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Without qualifying info like: when did he start being fed through a tube? might help.
He was genetically born a weed, ( resilient to death ) aside from 'everything' daily he consumed was fried in Pig Lard . ( brief review) He went threw both ww1 and ww11 at euro front, 2 wives, 10 kids, smoked and drank till over 80, worked plowed the farm and milked dairy till 87. Bought little house in town. He refused and never paid Gov. a Dime in property tax before death. outlived all his brothers, sisters and close friends. Die in his sleep over 100 years with full head of white hair.
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I had to post this--hopefully this garners some laughs.

I'm a big cat fan. (All evil genius need a cat--Godfather? Check! Blofeld? Check! Putin? Check!). I get mine from the shelter. About 5 years ago our first cat passed away. We went to adopt a new cat at the shelter. We visited with several candidates and a female cat "Domina" chose us. So we agree to give her a home, shelter calls us after surgery "Yeah, your cat is not a she--its a he? Do you still want him?" Well since the cat chooses you, we had a deal and my word is bond (like it makes a difference). For the kids we had Harry Potter names--she was going to be Minerva, but he became Olivander aka Ollie aka Mr. Vanderpants.

Let me tell you about Ollie. That cat gave 0 fucks. He had had his jaw broken, leg broken, obviously had spent time on the streets. You had chicken? It was his chicken (He stole my daughters whole chicken sandwich once). You have Gyro Meat? Ollie has Gyro meat. You want to post on the hide. Ollie says no. I swear that big boy would sit on my hand and if I tried to move the mouse that giant ass paw would come out and "No"

Ollie would dash for the door if it opened. Ollie went walkabout around the neighborhood one day when I wasn't looking and cost me much grief. He came back like "What, I was gettin some tang foo!" That cat was so baddass and so I don't give a FUCK.....

Ollie died after a full life, in a big sunbeam after a full meal--liver failure from life on the streets, but he lived like king for 2 years with us and we loved every minute of it.

And I guarantee he would say "FUCK THAT BITCH, GO GET ME A SAMMICH"
 
I had to post this--hopefully this garners some laughs.

I'm a big cat fan. (All evil genius need a cat--Godfather? Check! Blofeld? Check! Putin? Check!). I get mine from the shelter. About 5 years ago our first cat passed away. We went to adopt a new cat at the shelter. We visited with several candidates and a female cat "Domina" chose us. So we agree to give her a home, shelter calls us after surgery "Yeah, your cat is not a she--its a he? Do you still want him?" Well since the cat chooses you, we had a deal and my word is bond (like it makes a difference). For the kids we had Harry Potter names--she was going to be Minerva, but he became Olivander aka Ollie aka Mr. Vanderpants.

Let me tell you about Ollie. That cat gave 0 fucks. He had had his jaw broken, leg broken, obviously had spent time on the streets. You had chicken? It was his chicken (He stole my daughters whole chicken sandwich once). You have Gyro Meat? Ollie has Gyro meat. You want to post on the hide. Ollie says no. I swear that big boy would sit on my hand and if I tried to move the mouse that giant ass paw would come out and "No"

Ollie would dash for the door if it opened. Ollie went walkabout around the neighborhood one day when I wasn't looking and cost me much grief. He came back like "What, I was gettin some tang foo!" That cat was so baddass and so I don't give a FUCK.....

Ollie died after a full life, in a big sunbeam after a full meal--liver failure from life on the streets, but he lived like king for 2 years with us and we loved every minute of it.

And I guarantee he would say "FUCK THAT BITCH, GO GET ME A SAMMICH"
It is actually a parody account, she makes fun of idiots. I don’t want to incite wrath on her
 
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You'd really like the ammo prices.
But, you would have hated the size of your paycheck.

It’s all relevant my friend. Back in the 60’s and 70’s things were cheap, but so was the value of your efforts. It all comes out in the wash.

(That was until the Jimmy Carter years. Inflation was astronomical. Interest rates were as high as 22%. In Louisiana interest rates were limited by law to 18% and they call us stupid. It was a tough time.).
 
But, you would have hated the size of your paycheck.

It’s all relevant my friend. Back in the 60’s and 70’s things were cheap, but so was the value of your efforts. It all comes out in the wash.

(That was until the Jimmy Carter years. Inflation was astronomical. Interest rates were as high as 22%. In Louisiana interest rates were limited by law to 18% and they call us stupid. It was a tough time.).
My dad knew a dude whose mortgage interest was 18% in the 70s.