Id be more worried about some other asshole seeing the deer and shooting at it with me a foot away.
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Maggie’s Funny & awesome pics, vids and memes thread (work safe, no nudity)
- Thread starter Lawless
- Start date
Funny stuff from before every joke had a 4 letter word in it:
1."I am enclosing two tickets to the first night of my new play;
Bring a friend, if you have one."
George Bernard Shaw to Winston Churchill.
"Cannot possibly attend first night, I will attend the second...If there is one."
- Winston Churchill, in response.
2. A member of Parliament to Disraeli: "Sir, you will either die on the gallows,
or of some unspeakable disease."
"That depends, Sir," said Disraeli, "whether I embrace your policies or your
mistress."
3. "He had delusions of adequacy." - Walter Kerr
4. "I have never killed a man, but I have read many obituaries with great
pleasure."
- Clarence Darrow
5. "He has never been known to use a word that might send a reader to the
dictionary."
- William Faulkner (about Ernest Hemingway).
6. "Thank you for sending me a copy of your book; I'll waste no time reading
it."
- Moses Hadas
7. "I didn't attend the funeral, but I sent a nice letter saying I approved of it."
- Mark Twain
8. "He has no enemies, but is intensely disliked by his friends.."
- Oscar Wilde
9. "I feel so miserable without you; it's almost like having you here."
- Stephen Bishop
10. "He is a self-made man and worships his creator."
- John Bright
11. "I've just learned about his illness. Let's hope it's nothing trivial."
- Irvin S. Cobb
12. "He is not only dull himself; he is the cause of dullness in others."
- Samuel Johnson
13. "He is simply a shiver looking for a spine to run up."
- Paul Keating
14. "In order to avoid being called a flirt, she always yielded easily."
- Charles, Count Talleyrand
15. "He loves nature in spite of what it did to him."
- Forrest Tucker
16. "Why do you sit there looking like an envelope without any address on
it?"
- Mark Twain
17. "His mother should have thrown him away and kept the stork."
- Mae West
18. "Some cause happiness wherever they go; others, whenever they go."
- Oscar Wilde
19. "He uses statistics as a drunken man uses lamp-posts... For support rather
than illumination."
- Andrew Lang (1844-1912)
20. "He has Van Gogh's ear for music."
- Billy Wilder
21. "I've had a perfectly wonderful evening. But this wasn't it."
- Groucho Marx.
22. "He has all the virtues I dislike and none of the vices I admire."
- Winston Churchill
23. Lady Astor to Churchill: “If I were married to you, I'd put poison in your
coffee.”
Churchill: “If I were married to you, I'd drink it.”
24. “If he became convinced tomorrow that coming out for cannibalism would
get him the votes he needs so sorely, he would begin fattening a missionary
in the White House yard come Wednesday.” - H.L. Mencken on Franklin
Roosevelt
25. “People always ask me the same question. They say, ‘Is Boris a very very
clever man pretending to be an idiot?’ And I always say, ‘No.'” - Ian Hislop
on Boris Johnson
1."I am enclosing two tickets to the first night of my new play;
Bring a friend, if you have one."
George Bernard Shaw to Winston Churchill.
"Cannot possibly attend first night, I will attend the second...If there is one."
- Winston Churchill, in response.
2. A member of Parliament to Disraeli: "Sir, you will either die on the gallows,
or of some unspeakable disease."
"That depends, Sir," said Disraeli, "whether I embrace your policies or your
mistress."
3. "He had delusions of adequacy." - Walter Kerr
4. "I have never killed a man, but I have read many obituaries with great
pleasure."
- Clarence Darrow
5. "He has never been known to use a word that might send a reader to the
dictionary."
- William Faulkner (about Ernest Hemingway).
6. "Thank you for sending me a copy of your book; I'll waste no time reading
it."
- Moses Hadas
7. "I didn't attend the funeral, but I sent a nice letter saying I approved of it."
- Mark Twain
8. "He has no enemies, but is intensely disliked by his friends.."
- Oscar Wilde
9. "I feel so miserable without you; it's almost like having you here."
- Stephen Bishop
10. "He is a self-made man and worships his creator."
- John Bright
11. "I've just learned about his illness. Let's hope it's nothing trivial."
- Irvin S. Cobb
12. "He is not only dull himself; he is the cause of dullness in others."
- Samuel Johnson
13. "He is simply a shiver looking for a spine to run up."
- Paul Keating
14. "In order to avoid being called a flirt, she always yielded easily."
- Charles, Count Talleyrand
15. "He loves nature in spite of what it did to him."
- Forrest Tucker
16. "Why do you sit there looking like an envelope without any address on
it?"
- Mark Twain
17. "His mother should have thrown him away and kept the stork."
- Mae West
18. "Some cause happiness wherever they go; others, whenever they go."
- Oscar Wilde
19. "He uses statistics as a drunken man uses lamp-posts... For support rather
than illumination."
- Andrew Lang (1844-1912)
20. "He has Van Gogh's ear for music."
- Billy Wilder
21. "I've had a perfectly wonderful evening. But this wasn't it."
- Groucho Marx.
22. "He has all the virtues I dislike and none of the vices I admire."
- Winston Churchill
23. Lady Astor to Churchill: “If I were married to you, I'd put poison in your
coffee.”
Churchill: “If I were married to you, I'd drink it.”
24. “If he became convinced tomorrow that coming out for cannibalism would
get him the votes he needs so sorely, he would begin fattening a missionary
in the White House yard come Wednesday.” - H.L. Mencken on Franklin
Roosevelt
25. “People always ask me the same question. They say, ‘Is Boris a very very
clever man pretending to be an idiot?’ And I always say, ‘No.'” - Ian Hislop
on Boris Johnson
Technically VT should only have three blue dots… and NH two blue dots.
But other than that I’d bet this is pretty accurate!!
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Back when stewardesses were hot and wore cool clothes… now they are all gay dudes or Rosa Klebb.
Oh and woke bitches at museum have to make sign about how women were degraded.
They were appreciated… not degraded. Appreciated.
And if you don’t look hot in this… go work at Popeyes or some shit.
Sirhr
Oh and woke bitches at museum have to make sign about how women were degraded.
They were appreciated… not degraded. Appreciated.
And if you don’t look hot in this… go work at Popeyes or some shit.
Sirhr
Hey… if it puts more AR’s in more people’s
Hands…. Great!
They can all be made to run… these probably do just fine. Ish. Fine-ish. Having a shitty one is stilll Better than not having one at all!
Sirhr
Yeah… but that in .458 magnum would be awesome. @buffalowinter… is this our next project?
Sirhr
Just a cool photo I took today… BOMARC…
Issac Newton invents homosexuality, 1672.
Sirhr
Sirhr
They're members of the WWII German Ober Salzburg Alpine Division's - Kommando Spezialkräfte Kommunikatione. They were known for transmitting classified information in mountainous terrain by yodeling. Similar to the American Navajo Code Talkers, little is known because none were ever taken alive without having bitten their tongues off.
this is a weird one... watched a video of a guy putting in details for sleepy child sniffer. thought i'd have a look for myself. just typing in his name didnt bring this up. came up once the memorial id was used along with his name. didnt try other combinations. but i searched my family name, my father and other family members came up with the cemeteries theyre buried in... make of this what you will... not to say that its bs.
www.findagrave.com
Joseph Robinette “Genocide Joe” Biden Jr....
Executed for treason against the American people under executive orders #13818 (human trafficking, crimes against humanity) and #13848 (election theft) as President of the bankrupted U.S. corporation on unknown date. Funeral was given on 20 Jan 2021 at Arlington Nat'l Cemetery under the guise of...
www.findagrave.com
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this is a weird one... watched a video of a guy putting in details for sleepy child sniffer. thought i'd have a look for myself. just typing in his name didnt bring this up. came up once the memorial id was used along with his name. didnt try other combinations. but i searched my family name, my father and other family members came up with the cemeteries theyre buried in... make of this what you will... not to say that its bs.
Joseph Robinette “Genocide Joe” Biden Jr....
Executed for treason against the American people under executive orders #13818 (human trafficking, crimes against humanity) and #13848 (election theft) as President of the bankrupted U.S. corporation on unknown date. Funeral was given on 20 Jan 2021 at Arlington Nat'l Cemetery under the guise of...
It's probably like Wikipedia, user populated with info partially.
From Guinness to tequila and margaritas!!
Reason 43,947 that women live longer than men…
Still want to build one…
Sirhr
Still want to build one…
Sirhr
When I see that I think of chitty chitty bang bang…..
View this morning…
I was sort of hoping it was a nuke…
Sirhr
I was sort of hoping it was a nuke…
Sirhr
