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GF doesn't like guns
- Thread starter triceratops3
- Start date
When my wife calls/texts an image of her with a G26 in her hands pops up. You need to to the same with the above gif and your girlfriend.
take her out to dinner in the worst part of town and don't carry......
after you both get mugged and beat up she will be a conservative forever............
after you both get mugged and beat up she will be a conservative forever............
This^^^^
When my wife (second marriage) and I were on our second date, I brought up my passion/hobby for shooting, hunting and collecting. I was cordial, and admitted I found her attractive and enjoyed her company, BUT, firearms were a big part of my life, and if that was going to be an issue, then it best be brought up now, before we go any further.
She's not into guns, but just commented, "Oh, that's not a problem. I never really was interested in them, but my grandfather had a lot. He used to be a writer for Field and Stream in the early 1920's. So no, that won't be an issue."
Been married 10 years, and never had a problem (well, the budget may have come up a time or two).
BTW, I'd walk if I were you (and your age). A lot of fish in the sea, and you got plenty of time to go fishing...
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This is exactly my situation. My 2nd wife was from SoCal where I lived at the time. Although she is not part of the gun culture, she knows that shooting and firearms are a deep part of my life and she has never tried to change it or any part of my personality. We have been happily married for 15 years and all 3 of my children with her know how to shoot. She encourages it even though she has not participated too often.
I learned in my first marriage that anyone who tries to change you is not your advocate. It only generates discord and always leads to the big D.
I would tell the OP to move along and find someone who wants to be with them versus an illusion that they hope to achieve
I learned in my first marriage that anyone who tries to change you is not your advocate. It only generates discord and always leads to the big D.
I would tell the OP to move along and find someone who wants to be with them versus an illusion that they hope to achieve
I grew up in Los Angeles and work in the movie business. I've run into this situation more times than I care to recall. I've come to the conclusion that on this issue, as with many others, people don't like to be changed and that's what's being asked of you. You're being asked to change your behavior and ultimately what "your into". I've heard love/relationships/marriage are based on compromise. I guess this is true but everything has it's limits. How far are you willing to compromise before you are compromised?
On a less somber/philosophical tone....you're 23!!! Don't even consider a "serious/committed" relationship until your are at least 30. I believe someone posted the term "sports fucking", THAT! That's what you should be doing!
On a less somber/philosophical tone....you're 23!!! Don't even consider a "serious/committed" relationship until your are at least 30. I believe someone posted the term "sports fucking", THAT! That's what you should be doing!
Kindred spirits in a relationship can make the difference between enduring a cold war for years or being happy about most things in life.
Advice, if she figures out she can manipulate you on small things, it's game over, she'll take it all to the next step and the trend will continue. If she won't be submitted into her place - you will be submitting to her place. Favorite old joke... "Yeah, you wear the pants in the family alright, only problem is they zip up in the rear, lol". There's something to be said for who has the final say, be the man! If she can't get behind that then find someone who will.
"""She was mad that I wasn't willing to compromise with her and that we should break up now if I'm going to choose guns over her down the road when we cross that bridge."""
Believe me, she'll use this excuse, " the put me first card", every time you turn around, just like my ex wife did. It's a damned if you do, damned if you don't situation, I could write a book about what a bitch the ex was, seriously. How my kids turned out so well is a complete mystery, all winners and nice people???
My new wife of 11 years now, is the nicest person I ever met, that's why I married again. Basically I do what I want, so does she, we both have a pretty good balance on things, never really had a fight, just minor disagreements. She knew coming in that guns and shooting was my passion, so she learned to shoot and enjoys it though doesn't share my passion which is fine by me. I respect her and love her for respecting me and that's why I put her first, she deserves it, which is how it should be.
A book that helped me is called "falling in love for the right reasons", sounds corny but there is a ton of wisdom in it.
Advice, if she figures out she can manipulate you on small things, it's game over, she'll take it all to the next step and the trend will continue. If she won't be submitted into her place - you will be submitting to her place. Favorite old joke... "Yeah, you wear the pants in the family alright, only problem is they zip up in the rear, lol". There's something to be said for who has the final say, be the man! If she can't get behind that then find someone who will.
"""She was mad that I wasn't willing to compromise with her and that we should break up now if I'm going to choose guns over her down the road when we cross that bridge."""
Believe me, she'll use this excuse, " the put me first card", every time you turn around, just like my ex wife did. It's a damned if you do, damned if you don't situation, I could write a book about what a bitch the ex was, seriously. How my kids turned out so well is a complete mystery, all winners and nice people???
My new wife of 11 years now, is the nicest person I ever met, that's why I married again. Basically I do what I want, so does she, we both have a pretty good balance on things, never really had a fight, just minor disagreements. She knew coming in that guns and shooting was my passion, so she learned to shoot and enjoys it though doesn't share my passion which is fine by me. I respect her and love her for respecting me and that's why I put her first, she deserves it, which is how it should be.
A book that helped me is called "falling in love for the right reasons", sounds corny but there is a ton of wisdom in it.
Unless you are ugly AF and she is a 10, I would bail. Sounds like a controlling liberal bitch. Could be a nice lady, but I doubt it!
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Doesn't matter if she is a 10 or 12. The old adage "someone is tired of fucking it" soon applies.
Physical appearance is the worst reason to be together
Physical appearance is the worst reason to be together
I said it earlier and I'll reiterate it here, MUTUAL RESPECT.
If you don't have it now, you'll never have it.
Kindred spirits, like minded and any other way it can be described is vitally important. Do not marry a yes woman. Marry one that has a brain and knows how to use it.
Great looks and a killer body are awesome. They can be temporary. Marry someone you can carry on a decent conversation with. A smart woman is very sexy.
The book falling in love for the right reasons isn't well written, but the points it makes are spot on. Get it and read it
A woman marries a man hoping she can change him, but can't.
A man marries a woman hoping she won't change, but she does.
I think Ron White nailed compromise in marriage: "My wife wanted a cat. I didn't want a cat, so we compromised and got a cat."
A man marries a woman hoping she won't change, but she does.
I think Ron White nailed compromise in marriage: "My wife wanted a cat. I didn't want a cat, so we compromised and got a cat."
If he's UAF and she's a 10, then he can pull many more. We've all seen it, probably never understood it, but we've all seen it. What he can't do is be weak and UAF, then the pussy train is over.
Well all of these responses have given me logical advice. I know that if she wants to limit my passion for shooting that it'll be over. And I have a feeling she won't budge much, so I'll continue to get some pussy for now and then have to break it off.
Its why God gave men hands.
Be well lad, use hand softener until you get back in the saddle.
The little head just so overwhelms the big head.
Dude when you knock her up and Daddys there with his shotgun, give me a PM concerning the rifles you will be selling.
Whatever you do don't post them in the classifieds first.
Its well known I pay the highest prices
.my girlfriend does not like guns in the sense she doesn't shoot them and stays away but understands the constitution. she also knows I leave guns round the house but I've also told her it changes the day I have a kid which she agrees with.
I don't post much fun stuff but she has some hardcore liberal friends who I like I make very uncomfortable by open carrying around them and sometimes cleaning my "evil assault baby killers" when they are around.
I don't post much fun stuff but she has some hardcore liberal friends who I like I make very uncomfortable by open carrying around them and sometimes cleaning my "evil assault baby killers" when they are around.
Just digging yourself a deeper hole to climb out of.
The least painful way is to cut the head off the beast and leave.
If you drag this on it will come back to bite you in the ass.
It's a very painful bite.
Not trying to piss in your punchbowl, but I suspect she may be already going through breaking up with you in her mind. My wife and I are like minded when it comes to guns, so that isn't an issue for us. The most important contributing factor in any relationship, whether it be just dating or marriage, is mutual respect for each others needs and feelings. She certainly knows how you feel, whether she accepts that or not is a different story. This is where I turn into a turd; Do you know how she feels and more importantly, do you respect her position ? It sounds to me like you were ramming your opinions and your needs down her throat, or that might be the way she interpreted it. Nobody likes to "lose", it's humiliating. If either party in a relationship "loses" in these kinds of situations, it undermines the strength of the relationship. If one person constantly "loses" it's time to get out.
In the earlier years of our marriage, my wife and I occasionally fought like cats and dogs. We've been married 35 years and as time has gone on, we have made each others needs much more of a priority. We put the other person first much more often than we used to. She doesn't always agree with me and vis versa, but she is damn certain and comfortable that I am looking out for her. And, I know the same about her. I can't speak for anyone else but I think most women are pretty insecure. My wife would go through periods where she thought I was either going to, or had cheated on her. Never happened, not once. But, her insecurity would build up, she'd find/invent a reason to start a fight and boom, we're off to the (fight) races. Took a few days or a week to get back to normal. That doesn't happen much these days.
I think that a year from now, you're either going to be single, or with someone else. Moving forward, I would suggest that if/when the subject of guns comes up, that you be more diplomatic with that new person. It's perfectly OK to make your point(s) in a calm, respectful manner, but screaming, yelling and arguing is toxic. You may or may not have any give and take, but calmly explain where the boundaries are. Then, everyone can make decisions as adults. Don't get me wrong, this kind of situation is tough. Whenever passion and emotions are involved, they always will be. Just tone down the rhetoric that makes you actually sound like a "gun nut". Listen to the other person and take their feelings into consideration. You don't have to agree with them, but just listening to their point of view works wonders.
In the earlier years of our marriage, my wife and I occasionally fought like cats and dogs. We've been married 35 years and as time has gone on, we have made each others needs much more of a priority. We put the other person first much more often than we used to. She doesn't always agree with me and vis versa, but she is damn certain and comfortable that I am looking out for her. And, I know the same about her. I can't speak for anyone else but I think most women are pretty insecure. My wife would go through periods where she thought I was either going to, or had cheated on her. Never happened, not once. But, her insecurity would build up, she'd find/invent a reason to start a fight and boom, we're off to the (fight) races. Took a few days or a week to get back to normal. That doesn't happen much these days.
I think that a year from now, you're either going to be single, or with someone else. Moving forward, I would suggest that if/when the subject of guns comes up, that you be more diplomatic with that new person. It's perfectly OK to make your point(s) in a calm, respectful manner, but screaming, yelling and arguing is toxic. You may or may not have any give and take, but calmly explain where the boundaries are. Then, everyone can make decisions as adults. Don't get me wrong, this kind of situation is tough. Whenever passion and emotions are involved, they always will be. Just tone down the rhetoric that makes you actually sound like a "gun nut". Listen to the other person and take their feelings into consideration. You don't have to agree with them, but just listening to their point of view works wonders.
You beat me to it by mere minutes....
Get rid of that chick... find yourself one of these:
And I ain't talking about the minigun...
Cheers,
Sirhr
Now that, THAT's BAIT !
Ignore the 'bail' commands.
I started out dating a girl from CA who thought hunters didn't even eat what they killed and all hunters are like the assholes who go and hunt elephants so they can use their legs for umbrella stands at home. Guns.. forget it.
Then I got her shooting. Took her to a gun safety course. Got her behind a .308 bolt action, she can clover leaf at 300yds.
Now it's "when are you going to get a deer so we can have more pot roast" and "when are we going to the range next? I want to arrange a sitter for the kids...".
It's a process and maybe you should also determine if you WANT her to see your point of view. Regarding the FB stuff, that's up to you. How you present yourself to her family and friends and the world at large is more a function of what you want from the world. I don't see any point in filling your FB with your hobby and political frustrations. Whatever they may be it just shows you lack dimension as a person and perhaps at 23 that's ok. I all cared about was Rugby, Guinness and pussy. Roughly in that order...
When you discuss things with her, just do it in a manner you'd want someone to reason with you. Stay away from cliches and labels, that just lazy thinking. I've had more than one anti-2ndA at least tone down their shit because I kept the discussion civil and asked them to prove themselves right rather than me wrong.
We've got two awesome boys, I will teach them to shoot soon as they can listen and do as they're told (not a hope right now) and I've got about $30k worth of kit in the man cave without arguing about it with her.
I started out dating a girl from CA who thought hunters didn't even eat what they killed and all hunters are like the assholes who go and hunt elephants so they can use their legs for umbrella stands at home. Guns.. forget it.
Then I got her shooting. Took her to a gun safety course. Got her behind a .308 bolt action, she can clover leaf at 300yds.
Now it's "when are you going to get a deer so we can have more pot roast" and "when are we going to the range next? I want to arrange a sitter for the kids...".
It's a process and maybe you should also determine if you WANT her to see your point of view. Regarding the FB stuff, that's up to you. How you present yourself to her family and friends and the world at large is more a function of what you want from the world. I don't see any point in filling your FB with your hobby and political frustrations. Whatever they may be it just shows you lack dimension as a person and perhaps at 23 that's ok. I all cared about was Rugby, Guinness and pussy. Roughly in that order...
When you discuss things with her, just do it in a manner you'd want someone to reason with you. Stay away from cliches and labels, that just lazy thinking. I've had more than one anti-2ndA at least tone down their shit because I kept the discussion civil and asked them to prove themselves right rather than me wrong.
We've got two awesome boys, I will teach them to shoot soon as they can listen and do as they're told (not a hope right now) and I've got about $30k worth of kit in the man cave without arguing about it with her.
If you're asking the question you should refer to what the German said. She might as well ask you to chop off Mr. Happy. I stayed single till I was 40 and my wife likes guns more than any woman I've ever met. All her sisters are married, by the way.
Bro, dump that snowflake flat as a pancake. You can meet plenty of hot chicks on the range, SHOT show, or try church. Not a lot of flaming libtards in church. Good riddance to her and good luck to you.
God bless America
Bro, dump that snowflake flat as a pancake. You can meet plenty of hot chicks on the range, SHOT show, or try church. Not a lot of flaming libtards in church. Good riddance to her and good luck to you.
God bless America
Cloverleaf @ 300 yds? As I figure it, thats pretty close to 0.1 MOA. When is she going to teach you how to shoot?
meh - I put it down to beginners luck... it was with a TacOps T-51 so it was the rifle too... probably... right.
Funny thing, she has very little in the way of 'bad' tension in her firing position. I hug the stock with my shoulder, push too hard on the bipod and generally muscle the rifle when I'm tired or really want to get the shot in and all the crap that you're not supposed to do but not her... the one who really couldn't care and is just happy to be out and not chasing kids... lol.
Bail out. And I'm not joking. I've seen this too many times. If she doesn't care for guns but tolerates them, that's fine. But as soon as it gets to the "IT'S ME OR THE (insert hobby here)" level, she obviously doesn't have your interests at heart. This is the early warning sign of a rocky relationship, especially this early in the game. Not good. There are plenty more out there.
Still, it wouldn't be a bad idea to have a serious talk first as other have stated. Let her know that if she isn't willing to tolerate (be sure to use that word... its like a buzzword for em') and appreciate you for who you are, then you're both better off callin' it quits.
And if she uses that "you're choosing the guns over me!" argument, that's ridiculous.
It's not a matter of choosing guns over her. Rather, it's a matter of choosing to find someone willing to tolerate your passion, over choosing her.
Still, it wouldn't be a bad idea to have a serious talk first as other have stated. Let her know that if she isn't willing to tolerate (be sure to use that word... its like a buzzword for em') and appreciate you for who you are, then you're both better off callin' it quits.
And if she uses that "you're choosing the guns over me!" argument, that's ridiculous.
It's not a matter of choosing guns over her. Rather, it's a matter of choosing to find someone willing to tolerate your passion, over choosing her.
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D
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Mrs Culpeper doesn't like firearms but understands the need for them. That is fine with me. Personally, I don't like couples shooting together around me. They don't pay enough attention to things going on around them. There are some exceptions where both spouse realize the importance of what they are doing and adhere the fundamentals of safety. But for the most part they are just rambling on with their heads up their asses. Don't be that couple. I'm still waiting for a couple to show up and she is wearing a T-shirt that states, "I have the Pussy, I Make the Rules."
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RUN brother. Far and fast. She's asking you to suppress your beliefs, your hobby, your (insert here) for the sake of her family's perception of you. That's pretty messed up. Trust me here, it won't stop at this one issue. Hope it works out for you.
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lots of good advice on here.
1 your too young to get married or settle down...your both kids still.
2 establish your career is primary before all other things.
3 wait until your at least 30 to get married, us guys tend to settle down more so later on.
4 You need to learn more about yourself and what you want need out of a relationship.
5 Younger women almost always want to change/control you, older ones know they can't change a man and accept him for what he is.
6 There are things that define who you are, they are written in stone.
7 batshitcrazy women threads are worth a read and full of wisdom.
If you do not comprehend all the above and more....well your not ready. Cover your stick at all times and enjoy your younger years. You have much to learn about yourself brother.
1 your too young to get married or settle down...your both kids still.
2 establish your career is primary before all other things.
3 wait until your at least 30 to get married, us guys tend to settle down more so later on.
4 You need to learn more about yourself and what you want need out of a relationship.
5 Younger women almost always want to change/control you, older ones know they can't change a man and accept him for what he is.
6 There are things that define who you are, they are written in stone.
7 batshitcrazy women threads are worth a read and full of wisdom.
If you do not comprehend all the above and more....well your not ready. Cover your stick at all times and enjoy your younger years. You have much to learn about yourself brother.
I'm 35 and engaged to a great woman, who is willing to try just about anything shooting, and decided she liked sporting clays enough, to buy herself a Benelli M2. The day I gave her the ring, she gave me my AXMC.
My friend's wife recently said I was the most uncompromising person she knows. They (friends) always used to say that's a bad thing. But, I landed a pretty damned good woman in the end.
I have a few guiding principles that I always made sure to get ahead of very early on if I thought she might be worth more than just fuckin. That includes:
1) Total, pure equality (hence the AXMC); this one typically gets their attention.
2) I follow that up with "Only a fool would enter into a contract controlled by the government for which they know stands a 50% chance of dissolving, despite every single person who goes into it, being 100% convinced that it won't, then having to rely on the government to determine what is "fair""- in other words, only a fool gets married without a prenuptial agreement. Especially if you're a man. You don't carry health and catastrophic insurance because you expect to get cancer or lose your legs; you carry it because you're totally fucked if it happens and you don't have it. This usually gets the worst among them to run away.
3) I don't believe in mixing life and finances until after marriage; includes living together. (this one ended up having to be broken, due to other external events)
4) My guns are MY business, and you have nothing to say, or input on the subject. I'd like to have you enjoy it too, but it's MY hobby and you are not and will never be, in a position to make decisions related to it.
5) I have no interest in telling you how to spend your money, you will not be telling me how to spend mine. So long as the bills are paid and reasonable preparations for life and retirement exist, if you want something, and you can afford it from what you earn, go for it.
Now, a lot of guys will say "oh, they'll go along with that until you're married, then it all changes". I'm not married YET, so I cannot say conclusively that such is not the case for me, but my observations are that guys who end up in that kind of situation, did not state and execute those things important to them in strong enough terms. She needs to know exactly where you stand and that you WILL NOT waiver on that which is important to you. My GF knows that if she told me tomorrow that it's her or my guns, she's gone. She knows that will be the case 30 years from now. To someone not smart enough to understand what is at work, that may seem very cold and evidence that I don't love her. On the contrary- I would view that as such a betrayal from someone who is supposed to love me, that they are no longer a needed part of my life. Because I VERY clearly stated where I stand and that I am unmovable, then demonstrated it in how I live my life and conduct myself; it is how it is, I'm not changing for anyone, and anyone who, knowing all of this still wants me to change, doesn't truly respect me enough to deserve my time.
You set the field right and you're not going to have to worry about this sort of thing. Just understand that women will push you and test your limits. They think they will change you to suit what they want. You have to make sure they understand 100% that you will kick her ass to the curb before sacrificing "ZXY". Shit you're not THAT concerned with- be flexible. Stuff that is very important to you- do not yield one bit; you set a BAD precedent.
I would approach your situation as follows:
1) You will NOT tell me how many, or what kind of guns I own.
2) You will NOT tell me how I use, carry, handle, or store said firearms
3) You will NOT tell me when or whether I can take my kids shooting.
---If that is an issue for you, we're done here; this is a hard and immovable standard which will no be compromised on. Accept it 100% or walk---
My friend's wife recently said I was the most uncompromising person she knows. They (friends) always used to say that's a bad thing. But, I landed a pretty damned good woman in the end.
I have a few guiding principles that I always made sure to get ahead of very early on if I thought she might be worth more than just fuckin. That includes:
1) Total, pure equality (hence the AXMC); this one typically gets their attention.
2) I follow that up with "Only a fool would enter into a contract controlled by the government for which they know stands a 50% chance of dissolving, despite every single person who goes into it, being 100% convinced that it won't, then having to rely on the government to determine what is "fair""- in other words, only a fool gets married without a prenuptial agreement. Especially if you're a man. You don't carry health and catastrophic insurance because you expect to get cancer or lose your legs; you carry it because you're totally fucked if it happens and you don't have it. This usually gets the worst among them to run away.
3) I don't believe in mixing life and finances until after marriage; includes living together. (this one ended up having to be broken, due to other external events)
4) My guns are MY business, and you have nothing to say, or input on the subject. I'd like to have you enjoy it too, but it's MY hobby and you are not and will never be, in a position to make decisions related to it.
5) I have no interest in telling you how to spend your money, you will not be telling me how to spend mine. So long as the bills are paid and reasonable preparations for life and retirement exist, if you want something, and you can afford it from what you earn, go for it.
Now, a lot of guys will say "oh, they'll go along with that until you're married, then it all changes". I'm not married YET, so I cannot say conclusively that such is not the case for me, but my observations are that guys who end up in that kind of situation, did not state and execute those things important to them in strong enough terms. She needs to know exactly where you stand and that you WILL NOT waiver on that which is important to you. My GF knows that if she told me tomorrow that it's her or my guns, she's gone. She knows that will be the case 30 years from now. To someone not smart enough to understand what is at work, that may seem very cold and evidence that I don't love her. On the contrary- I would view that as such a betrayal from someone who is supposed to love me, that they are no longer a needed part of my life. Because I VERY clearly stated where I stand and that I am unmovable, then demonstrated it in how I live my life and conduct myself; it is how it is, I'm not changing for anyone, and anyone who, knowing all of this still wants me to change, doesn't truly respect me enough to deserve my time.
You set the field right and you're not going to have to worry about this sort of thing. Just understand that women will push you and test your limits. They think they will change you to suit what they want. You have to make sure they understand 100% that you will kick her ass to the curb before sacrificing "ZXY". Shit you're not THAT concerned with- be flexible. Stuff that is very important to you- do not yield one bit; you set a BAD precedent.
I would approach your situation as follows:
1) You will NOT tell me how many, or what kind of guns I own.
2) You will NOT tell me how I use, carry, handle, or store said firearms
3) You will NOT tell me when or whether I can take my kids shooting.
---If that is an issue for you, we're done here; this is a hard and immovable standard which will no be compromised on. Accept it 100% or walk---
Also, some of the best pussy I had was from about 22-28. I don't even know how many women there have been; I stopped counting when it reached my age, and that was a long while ago. There is a LOT of fun to be had out there from your mid-20's to early 30's. Especially if you're reasonably secure financially. It's not worth passing up all the hot ass running around out there for a chick that doesn't see eye to eye with you, and isn't willing to let things be how they are... Just on a hope and a wish that she comes around. I'm not going to be with someone for what I hope they will be 5-10 years down the road. That shit is even more unpredictable than being with them for what they currently are when they are 18-24.
Last point. If you've been with her for a year, and she isn't willing to let you be you, time to leave immediately. Don't stick around because she's a good piece of ass. That's how all of a sudden you're still in it, 6 years later, because you're comfortable. Only now you're 29 and unhappy... and missed out on some damned good ass, right in the middle of your prime. Or you fuck up and get a first place fuck trophy.
Last point. If you've been with her for a year, and she isn't willing to let you be you, time to leave immediately. Don't stick around because she's a good piece of ass. That's how all of a sudden you're still in it, 6 years later, because you're comfortable. Only now you're 29 and unhappy... and missed out on some damned good ass, right in the middle of your prime. Or you fuck up and get a first place fuck trophy.
Some of the best advice has already been cast so I'll keep my post short, run as fast as you can. Been there done that. I had a hard time in college with my interests and political leanings and it'll make you butt heads a lot. Don't force something, you're young and forcing it only gets you burned later down the road. Enjoy yourself and find yourself, don't settle.
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