Maggie’s Hard to believe that people like this can survive

dagwood

Sergeant
Full Member
Minuteman
Mar 20, 2008
336
0
Myrtle Beach,SC
How do these people survive?
Remember. they are voting, driving and having little babies like them!!!
ONE
Recently, when I went to McDonald's I saw on the menu that you could have an order of 6, 9 or 12 Chicken McNuggets.
I asked for a half dozen nuggets.
'We don't have half dozen nuggets,' said the teenager at the counter.
'You don't?' I replied.
'We only have six, nine, or twelve,' was the reply.
'So I can't order a half dozen nuggets, but I can order six?'
'That's right.'
So I shook my head and ordered six McNuggets.
(Unbelievable but sadly true...)
TWO
I was checking out at the local Wal-Mart with just a few items and the lady behind me put her things on the belt close to mine. I picked up one of those 'dividers' that they keep by the cash register and placed it between our things so they wouldn't get mixed.
After the girl had scanned all of my items, she picked up the 'divider', looking it all over for the bar code so she could scan it.
Not finding the bar code, she said to me, 'Do you know how much this is?'
I said to her 'I've changed my mind; I don't think I'll buy that today.'
She said 'OK,' and I paid her for the things and left.
(She had no clue to what had just happened.)
THREE
A woman at work was seen putting a credit card into her floppy drive and pulling it out very quickly.
When I inquired as to what she was doing, she said she was shopping on the Internet and they kept asking for a credit card number, so she was using the ATM 'thingy.'
(Keep shuddering!!)
FOUR
I recently saw a distraught young lady weeping beside her car. 'Do you need some help?' I asked.
She replied, 'I knew I should have replaced the battery to this remote door unlocker. Now I can't get into my car. Do you think they (pointing to a distant convenience store) would have a battery to fit this?'
'Hmmm, I don't know. Do you have an alarm, too?' I asked.
'No, just this remote thingy,' she answered, handing it and the car keys to me. As I took the key and manually unlocked the door, I replied, 'Why don't you drive over there and check about the batteries. It's a long walk....'
PLEASE just lay down before you hurt yourself!!!
FIVE
Several years ago, we had an Intern who was none too swift. One day she was typing and turned to a secretary and said, 'I'm almost out of typing paper. What do I do?' 'Just use paper from the photocopier', the secretary told her. With that, the intern took her last remaining blank piece of paper, put it on the photocopier and proceeded to make five 'blank' copies.
Brunette, by the way!!

SIX
A mother calls 911 very worried asking the dispatcher if she needs to take her kid to the emergency room, the kid had eaten ants. The dispatcher tells her to give the kid some Benadryl and he should be fine, the mother says, 'I just gave him some ant killer......'
Dispatcher: 'Rush him in to emergency!'


Life is tough. It's even tougher if you're stupid!!!!
 
Re: Hard to believe that people like this can survive

The late J.B.S. Haldane, a biologist, was asked by an interviewer what he might have concluded about God as a result of his career. Haldane said, "He must have been very fond of beetles, as there are so many species of them."

God must also have been very fond of stupid people, using that line of reasoning.

Pray for them. It's not their fault that they are stupid, and life is hard for those who are.
 
Re: Hard to believe that people like this can survive

<div class="ubbcode-block"><div class="ubbcode-header">Originally Posted By: tigerhawk</div><div class="ubbcode-body">It makes one wonder for the future of the human species. </div></div>

Easy, just watch the first 5 or 10 minutes of the movie Idiocracy. Don't bother watching the whole thing, it will make your head hurt.
 
Re: Hard to believe that people like this can survive

There is a 911 recording going around the net where a lady calls in because her door lock button wont work and she can't get out of the car. The 911 operator asked her if she tried to pull up on the lock and she said NO!!. So she gets the driver door open and then starts asking if 911 operator has any idea on how to get the passanger door open??

On tv there was some footage of Paris Hilton driving away and her car dies so the camera guy walks over and asks what up. The bimbo says it just died and the camera guy looks ina nd says your gas gauge is on empty. Paris asks where is that gauge you are looking at? And then gets on the phone and starts chewing on someone's ass foro not putting gas in her car.

You don't have to be uneducated to be a idiot.
 
Re: Hard to believe that people like this can survive

Goofy 911 calls are hilarious. They need to make a show dedicated to just stupid 911 calls. Guaranteed that show will be a huge hit.
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Re: Hard to believe that people like this can surv

Believe it or not, I've actually been dispatched to one of these... Same shit, c/o the heat inside the car, telling dispatch to hurry. Luckily, we were cancelled en route, b/c there's no way I would've been able to keep a straight face when I got there...

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Re: Hard to believe that people like this can surv

<div class="ubbcode-block"><div class="ubbcode-header">Originally Posted By: JRose</div><div class="ubbcode-body">Yup. I could write a book on the stupid shit we get called on, and you guys woulld swear it's fiction...</div></div>

Start writing, I would read it.
 
Re: Hard to believe that people like this can surv

Just think how I feel dealing with inmates.

Creech AFB artillery range is right across the highway and every so often we get to see them blow stuff up. One day it had the attention of several inmates plus myself. Due to the distance of the explosions you get a good 5-6 seconds before you hear the sound. "How come you dont hear it right away?" one inmate asks.
"It takes a while for the sound to get here, we're like 5 miles away" I told him. "Oh, well how fast is it moving?" After a pause, I turn to him and say "Im guessing the speed of sound"

Even his buddies looked at me as if they were ashamed to know him. But then again, they are not there from winning the Nobel.
 
Re: Hard to believe that people like this can surv

<div class="ubbcode-block"><div class="ubbcode-header">Originally Posted By: JRose</div><div class="ubbcode-body">I've actually been dispatched to one of these...

Luckily, we were cancelled en route...</div></div>

Too bad, you might have had to smash out the window when you got there to gain access.
 
Re: Hard to believe that people like this can surv

<div class="ubbcode-block"><div class="ubbcode-header">Originally Posted By: desertrat1979</div><div class="ubbcode-body">Just think how I feel dealing with inmates.

Creech AFB artillery range is right across the highway and every so often we get to see them blow stuff up. One day it had the attention of several inmates plus myself. Due to the distance of the explosions you get a good 5-6 seconds before you hear the sound. "How come you dont hear it right away?" one inmate asks.
"It takes a while for the sound to get here, we're like 5 miles away" I told him. "Oh, well how fast is it moving?" After a pause, I turn to him and say "Im guessing the speed of sound"

Even his buddies looked at me as if they were ashamed to know him. But then again, they are not there from winning the Nobel. </div></div>

The proper answer is 761 mph @ sea level...
grin.gif