Help! I Am Surrounded by Teenage Lesbians

[Veer_G]

Not to steal anything from the other thread, which I will update tomorrow, but I am spending the night here before returning tomorrow morning.

I'm in one of our two rented rooms, which I had the foresight to extend for another night, in case my father's discharge fell through and we had to spend an extra day.

My older son drove down to see my folks off. Their departure, in itself, was pure fiasco. Afterwards, son no. 1 and I had godawfully bad @sirhrmechanic istan grade faux Mexican nearby.

On my return, I went to enter the hotel and was immediately in the effluent midst of some three dozen or so buxom lasses in variously revealing articles of university jockwear exiting the premises.

Apparently, there's an enormous NCAA softball tournament here this weekend.

I am not getting the night of blissful sleep that I wanted. Right now, on the middle floor of this three-story building, I am entirely boxed in at all angles by riotous, post-pubescent females in other rooms, cackling, screaming, and bouncing what I presume are softballs off of each other. Can teacher-issue midget Louisville Slugger bats be far behind?

Oh, Hide, what should I do?

 

[DarnYankeeUSMC]

Holy Fucking shit. Are you that old? Yeah I am sorry. I know you're dealing with some business. Hope you get a decent night sleep.

 

[Veer_G]

Holy Fucking shit. Are you that old? Yeah I am sorry. I know you're dealing with some business. Hope you get a decent night sleep.

Believe me, I'm trying really hard to remember just how old I am.

 

[DarnYankeeUSMC]

oh yeah. I forgot to ask about your address.

 

[Veer_G]

Yankee's gonna play missionary and revoke some liquor licenses.

 

[2ndamendfan]

I feel your pain. All I have is a story to entertain you with.

Years ago we did a road trip/vacation that went to mount Rushmore. Devils tower in Wyoming was cool.
Anyway from home to Rushmore is 13-15 hours. On the way home we planned to stay the night in Little America Wyoming. Which is a hotel and gas station in the middle of now where right where it needs to be.
Couple hours into our stay the parking lots starts to fill with Halliburton trucks. Well going to sleep and the party starts with a massive amount of cigarette smoke coming under the adjoining door. Along with a massive amount of sound. I hate cig smoke as does my wife daughter was about 7 years old.
We call the front desk and complain. Security comes to the floor and sees smoke (in a non-smoking building) coming out from the door in the hallway. Security calls the front desk who then calls the room and tells them to calm the hell down. No one including myself willing to deal with a bunch of rowdy oil field workers.
Through the door I hear. " hey someone is bitching that we are to loud". At that point they went to volume 11.
I was pissed but not ready for a fight with my family in tow. So went to the front desk and requested a refund. At this point it is about 10pm. They refunded and offered another room free of charge. I told them to shove it. Inwas going home. They were worried i would fall asleep and crash. I assured the desk worker i would NOT fall asleep due to how pissed i was.
5 hours later at approx 3 am i was in my own bed.
Wife developed a blood clot 2 days later soooo it was not without consequence (15 hours in a car)

 

[Veer_G]

Just imagine if the teenage lesbians and the Halliburton crew had a mixer ...

 

[powdahound76]

Well Veer, being old and married kinda ruins the best ideas........

Dont even think about the underwear (or not) pillow fights and get your heart in overdrive. Or you could just go take the room your pops vacated!?

Good luck with sleep, headed there myself

 

[Veer_G]

Well Veer, being old and married kinda ruins the best ideas........

Dont even think about the underwear (or not) pillow fights and get your heart in overdrive. Or you could just go take the room your pops vacated!?

Good luck with sleep, headed there myself

Pain is temporary,
Glory is forever,
And chicks dig scars.

 

[Slash0311]

I call bullshit...

Without pictures, my guess is you're hallucinating due to stress and lack of sleep. Totally understandable, but it didnt happen unless pics back it up. Haha

 

[Threadcutter308]

You are all dreaming/delusional......good luck with that

Sorry, if you are older than 24, game over.....Try to get some sleep, that'll be the best thing to come out of the whole ordeal.

 

[Veer_G]

I call bullshit...

Without pictures, my guess is you're hallucinating due to stress and lack of sleep. Totally understandable, but it didnt happen unless pics back it up. Haha

I took this about five minutes ago as a pack of them came screaming down the hall. The shot would be better, but they started trucking when I told them that I was getting a picture to settle a bet with friends.

Scary, scary old man I must be. Sleep, hello.

 

[tnichols]

Based on the title of thread, I’m thinking “it could be worse “ ?

 

[bullseye13]

 

[sirhrmechanic]

 

[...]

meanwhile next room over....

 

[Slash0311]

I took this about five minutes ago as a pack of them came screaming down the hall. The shot would be better, but they started trucking when I told them that I was getting a picture to settle a bet with friends.

Scary, scary old man I must be. Sleep, hello.

I stand corrected. I'm not worthy to carry your spit bucket. I beg forgiveness all knowing one!!

 

[Veer_G]

I stand corrected. I'm not worthy to carry your spit bucket. I beg forgiveness all knowing one!!

I have room for a ceremonial rose petal tosser, 3rd class, on my entourage. The pay is minimal, but it comes with a corner in which to sleep at night, and all the basmati rice and vegetable curry you can eat. PM me if you're interested.

 

[Rthur]

While an interesting pondering this would be when they are in their wheelhouse of psychological pathology.

R

 

[oneshot86]

i must be honest

dudes

im a lesbian, my edgar suit is a man, tho

 

[Slash0311]

Wow.... awesome offer. Toss in a 401k and 1000 rounds of ammo a year and I'm golden.

How long would a promotion to 2nd class take?

 

[...]

Wow.... awesome offer. Toss in a 401k and 1000 rounds of ammo a year and I'm golden.

How long would a promotion to 2nd class take?

just 1000?.....thats like, one weekends worth of shooting.....

 

[Slash0311]

I figured I couldn't ask for too much ammo. Plus I figured I'd be way too busy with my official petal tossing doodies... err duties.

 

[Foul Mike]

Damn, you have missed your chance.
You should have joined in on all of the antics and after checking IDs for age demonstrated to them;
"The older the Ram, the harder the Horn." FM

 

[Veer_G]

Wow.... awesome offer. Toss in a 401k and 1000 rounds of ammo a year and I'm golden.

How long would a promotion to 2nd class take?

Promotion board is pretty strict. It'll depend upon how many demerits you manage to accumulate.

 

[1J04]

Wow.... awesome offer. Toss in a 401k and 1000 rounds of ammo a year and I'm golden.

How long would a promotion to 2nd class take?

Lickitty Split comes to mind......

 

[Veer_G]

I figured I couldn't ask for too much ammo. Plus I figured I'd be way too busy with my official petal tossing doodies... err duties.

Maser is the doody tosser (tossé?), but he isn't on my staff.

 

[jrassy]

No pictures from the hotel bar says you missed your chance, relegated to duffer status.

 

[Veer_G]

No pictures from the hotel bar says you missed your chance, relegated to duffer status.

Nah. Just no desire to act like an old fool, and, believe it or not, respect for my vows.