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You want a car that gets the job done? You want a car that's hassle free? You want a car that literally no one will ever compliment you on? Well look no further.
The 1999 Toyota Corolla.
Let's talk about features.
Bluetooth: nope
Sunroof: nope
Fancy wheels: nope
Rear view camera: nope...but it's got a transparent rear window and you have a fucking neck that can turn.
Let me tell you a story. One day my Corolla started making a strange sound. I didn't give a shit and ignored it. It went away. The End.
You could take the engine out of this car, drop it off the Golden Gate Bridge, fish it out of the water a thousand years later, put it in the trunk of the car, fill the gas tank up with Nutella, turn the key, and this puppy would fucking start right up.
This car will outlive you, it will outlive your children.
Things this car is old enough to do:
Vote: yes
Consent to sex: yes
Rent a car: it IS a car
This car's got history. It's seen some shit. People have done straight things in this car. People have done gay things in this car. It's not going to judge you like a fucking Volkswagen would.
Interesting facts:
This car's exterior color is gray, but it's interior color is grey.
In the owner's manual, oil is listed as "optional."
When this car was unveiled at the 1998 Detroit Auto Show, it caused all 2,000 attendees to spontaneously yawn. The resulting abrupt change in air pressure inside the building caused a partial collapse of the roof. Four people died. The event is chronicled in the documentary "Bored to Death: The Story of the 1999 Toyota Corolla"
You wanna know more? Great, I had my car fill out a Facebook survey.
Favorite food: spaghetti
Favorite tv show: Alf
Favorite band: tie between Bush and the Gin Blossoms
This car is as practical as a Roth IRA. It's as middle-of-the-road as your grandpa during his last Silver Alert. It's as utilitarian as a member of a church whose scripture is based entirely on water bills.
When I ran the CarFax for this car, I got back a single piece of paper that said, "It's a Corolla. It's fine."
Let's face the facts, this car isn't going to win any beauty contests, but neither are you. Stop lying to yourself and stop lying to your wife. This isn't the car you want, it's the car you deserve: The fucking 1999 Toyota Corolla.
Dang it Joe!Sitting in a storage in UT and can't afford to race it anymore.. 600HP on 10 psi.(Methanol) capable of 1000HP, 16V-R Sport Volvo 2.34 ltrs.
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One more gear to go
Well, damn... here I am still using a CD-Changer...It was Classic Vinyl, I didn't pick the song, although Dixie Chicken is a fun tune
I do have a Chip with 11,000 Albums in the center console, complete collections of bands at your finger tips
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So music is no problem
Wait... Who's driving? Or did you get a UK-issue Porsche? I'm the one who is supposed to have the steering wheel on the wrong side!It was Classic Vinyl, I didn't pick the song, although Dixie Chicken is a fun tune
I do have a Chip with 11,000 Albums in the center console, complete collections of bands at your finger tips
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So music is no problem
Well... it's not like that's a feature!no music because you cannot hear it over the side pipes, natures AC and no heater because it comes through the firewall
Kirkham 427 KMS/SC
www.kirkhammotorsports.com
Ha ha ha, I love it. Great movie! My buddy says that my driveway is starting to look like Ricky’s, I have a duramax with a compound turbo, a C6Z, and my kid has a gen 5 camaro SS.
Headin' down into Sinkhole @ NCM
How does an Audi V10 have 12 pistons, rods,pins, ring sets etc?
To each is own, I like bugs in my teeth.Well... it's not like that's a feature!
150mph in AC comfort with the 1812 Overture playing at medium volume is something to appreciate!
Cheers,
Sirhr
Already addressed, they’re different generations of tdi race engine.How does an Audi V10 have 12 pistons, rods,pins, ring sets etc?
How’s that old hot rodder saying go? “I’d rather be blown,” I believe.I was driving Tommy B was in the passenger Seat
My Dad had gas stations growing up so we had cars,
My first car, the Javalin, not the Demon
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Fun Fact the Ramcharger behind it had a 440 in it from the Factory it as a limited edition, the 327 Impala SS is hidden but behind the Demon
Here is my Dad's Show car, a 64 Nova
At shows it displayed like this
Yeah... but let's get back to that AMC!!!Ya, that Nova is kinda unique
The front end is from a 280ZX, the rear end is a Corvette, it has Monte Carlo Swivel Buckets, so it's a bit of a mutt
I see what you did there..My Javalin,
I called it the Dragon Slayer; ...
I can't imagine the cleaning time on the chevy 11.I was driving Tommy B was in the passenger Seat
My Dad had gas stations growing up so we had cars,
My first car, the Javalin, not the Demon
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Fun Fact the Ramcharger behind it had a 440 in it from the Factory it as a limited edition, the 327 Impala SS is hidden but behind the Demon
Here is my Dad's Show car, a 64 Nova
At shows it displayed like this
Javelins were tough.My Javalin,
I called it the Dragon Slayer; it had a Heavy Metal Magazine-type cover on the back, typical 1970s type airbrush artwork
It was cool, I had repair plates up until I was 25 so I used to switch cars all the time
I think someone might still have the Javalin in CT, last I heard it was still like that
Each flame, lick, etc, has 3 Flip Flop Flames trailing it so it would shimmer in the sun. We blacked out the bumpers, and under that big empty space in the dash I had an Alpine Stereo that was hidden
The AMX was, legitimately, the hottest thing of the late muscle-car era. Under-appreciated. Under-marketed. Under-capitalized. But it was a killer of virtually everything on the street!8 track?
Javelins were tough.
I know a guy that has a couple for sale. Fair price. I’ve been sitting on this information for years working up the nerve to buy one for myself.That is what I lusted after in High School… GNX Grand National… what a car!!!!
Maybe they didn't have the advertising budget? Then again nascar at the time was win on Sunday and sell on Monday.The AMX was, legitimately, the hottest thing of the late muscle-car era. Under-appreciated. Under-marketed. Under-capitalized. But it was a killer of virtually everything on the street!
The 390 and 401 were some of the best engines of the time.
Sirhr
How many hookers can you fit in there? Dead or aliveMy 2022 gay ass Camry is actually pretty fun to drive with it’s 4 cylinder.
The 2022 Camaro SS is pretty boring to drive, but I love driving it because it pisses people off so bad when they get stuck behind me doing the speed limit. Only mod I’m doing to it is putting new exhaust on it so it’s dead quiet.
4Runner is like running pulling a sled filled with fat women.
Titan is actually pretty damn fun, but at 8 years old I drive it pretty conservatively.
They are still holding value so consider it an investment. Better than losing 10% on cash because of inflation.I know a guy that has a couple for sale. Fair price. I’ve been sitting on this information for years working up the nerve to buy one for myself.
Which one?How many hookers can you fit in there? Dead or alive
You can fit a bunch of hookers in the Camry. It’s surprisingly roomy.Camry…
You can add turbos, superchargers and nitrous to 500+ cubic inch engines.
Not shag, even worse. Ugg boot material@lowlight
Got any pics of the interior? We need to see if you had shag carpet in there
CorrectYou can add turbos, superchargers and nitrous to 500+ cubic inch engines.
So, Napster.It was Classic Vinyl, I didn't pick the song, although Dixie Chicken is a fun tune
I do have a Chip with 11,000 Albums in the center console, complete collections of bands at your finger tips
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So music is no problem
I think It was the body style. Kinda hard to figure it out. Not a Torino, not a Mach 2, not a duster and not close to the hot selling Camaro or mustang.
But they ran like a bat out of hell. Weight to power and gearing put a lot of cars to shame.
Maybe they didn't have the advertising budget? Then again nascar at the time was win on Sunday and sell on Monday.
I knew a few guys that had them. They dragged my 340 duster.
The AMX was, legitimately, the hottest thing of the late muscle-car era. Under-appreciated. Under-marketed. Under-capitalized. But it was a killer of virtually everything on the street!
The 390 and 401 were some of the best engines of the time.
Sirhr
You can add turbos, superchargers and nitrous to 500+ cubic inch engines.
I had a mint 96 caprice wagon with the LT1. I miss that car. Should have kept it. Only 40k miles.My current fair-weather ride:
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Makes about 650/650 at the wheels on 93 and a few more on E85, and it goes around a road course fast enough. I'm also pretty sure that my sons are the only ones at their school getting dropped off and picked up in a car that does 11 flat at nearly 130.
I think the blower snout bearings are close to freezing, so it'll finally get the ported blower and CNC LS9 heads that have been sitting in a shelf for a few years.
Then it's time to put some attention into this back-burnered project:
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1996 Impala SS, L96 iron-block 6.0L, Lingenfelter LSA heads, LSA blower, and a GMPP accessory drive that's proving to be a minor PITA. It also looks like the 6L90 won't fit without some floorpan hacking, so there's a decision to be made over the winter. But when it's done, it should make a streetable 700ish at the wheels. It also has Ride Tech bags at all four corners and an Air Lift 3H control system.
Sounds like my FIL and MIL with his cousin and wife and a car full of luggage topping out his 300c at the Bonneville salt flats. He was like, you don't go there and not top out your car. His wife was complaint about him racing people on main street in his 47 dodge, or his charger, or his Nomad, pretty much anything but his mini van. Although if you pull up and rev your engine. He would probably run in that too.Well... it's not like that's a feature!
150mph in AC comfort with the 1812 Overture playing at medium volume is something to appreciate!
Cheers,
Sirhr