How do you get your new toys into the house without pissing her off?
- Thread starter Steel+Killer
- Start date
Agreed with Trebek on two accounts:
1) Separate finances are an illusions, BUT (see below)
2) When you have to hide things you have a shitty relationship
Separate finances may be an illusion legally, but from a budget management perspective, it can allow people to help manage their independent "fun" budgets. There is no fighting if it is agreed what each has discretion to spend on their own decision.
My wife and I went a different direction, she does the bills (writing and mailing checks), I do the finances (looking at the money in/out at the end of the month and assessing where it went). If things are out of whack and we need to adjust, say our credit card spending increased too much, I just tell her and we both look at our habits and adjust. They key here is this doesn't work if people are selfish. And a lot of people are selfish and/or married to selfish people.
I know a guy who lies to his wife all the time. He bought my pistol, wanted to pay by Paypal or some crazy crap because that was how he moves money around his wife. No dude, you want it pay cash, you figure that out on your end. Bought a rifle, kept it at my place 6 months so she wouldn't know he bought it. Turns out he's a shitty guy and they have a shitty relationship.
1) Separate finances are an illusions, BUT (see below)
2) When you have to hide things you have a shitty relationship
Separate finances may be an illusion legally, but from a budget management perspective, it can allow people to help manage their independent "fun" budgets. There is no fighting if it is agreed what each has discretion to spend on their own decision.
My wife and I went a different direction, she does the bills (writing and mailing checks), I do the finances (looking at the money in/out at the end of the month and assessing where it went). If things are out of whack and we need to adjust, say our credit card spending increased too much, I just tell her and we both look at our habits and adjust. They key here is this doesn't work if people are selfish. And a lot of people are selfish and/or married to selfish people.
I know a guy who lies to his wife all the time. He bought my pistol, wanted to pay by Paypal or some crazy crap because that was how he moves money around his wife. No dude, you want it pay cash, you figure that out on your end. Bought a rifle, kept it at my place 6 months so she wouldn't know he bought it. Turns out he's a shitty guy and they have a shitty relationship.
Q
QuickNDirty
Guest
I'm pretty happy with my situation. I handle ever-damn-thing. Her main responsibilities are groceries, keeping the kids occupied when I'm working, cooking occasionally, and keeping the house clean. What she does outside of that I leave up to her. I give her two CCs on my accounts to use for whatever-the-fuck. She's very frugal, so it works out great. Use reward points to buy presents and shit.
I guess this describes me more accurately than any other post. If the bills are paid, and they are, mine don't really care. And the same is true from my side too.
A while back my Wife took the 2 oldest Granddaughters to get their nails done before school started. Turns out each of them invited a friend or two. I didn't even ask who paid. Thats just the way we roll! And no, I'm not wealthy. I was lucky enough to make a decent living, stay out of debt and save a little for retirement.
Edited to add, we do discuss big purchases like cars.
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Started a horse account for her, when I buy a rifle/pistol/WE (and get caught) ill throw an equal amount into her horse account. As soon as we get on some land that account will have enough for a herd....
This is both our second marriage. Lori is 60 & I am 70 now. Twice I almost lost her. First time she was supposed to have start as THE pastry chef at Windows On The World. That was the restaurant at the top of the Trade Center. On 9-10 she called the chef & said, I am sick, need to see my OBGYN, can I start on 9-12. She watched the Towers go down in the doctors office.
Last month she had a massive heart attack. She was in the operating room in less than 10 minuets. The response of those in the emergency room was heroic to say the least. There were no less than 10 people attending her. Lucky for us the head of heart surgery was there on Saturday morning.
Our agreement is, she gets all the Christian Louboutin shoes she wants, I get all the Harley’s & guns I want. No questions asked.
Maxwell
Last month she had a massive heart attack. She was in the operating room in less than 10 minuets. The response of those in the emergency room was heroic to say the least. There were no less than 10 people attending her. Lucky for us the head of heart surgery was there on Saturday morning.
Our agreement is, she gets all the Christian Louboutin shoes she wants, I get all the Harley’s & guns I want. No questions asked.
Maxwell
I did this thing call becoming a grown ass man. You see as long as our bills are paid theres no problem. Oh and when there is, i just bring up the fact that she spend hundreds of dollars on but not limited to: MAC sephora, bath and body works and other girly shit.
My wife knew before we got married that shooting was a big part of my life. She went to gun shows with me when we were dating, lets me go to matches, work at the reloading bench, and doesn't complain too much when I buy expensive stuff to support my hobby. I can't really complain...
My GF tells me to buy WHAT EVER it takes to keep us safe. Guns, ammo, and most importantly training. She wants me to have the best and be superbly prepared for those evil persons, if they try something. She insists that I do not scrimp, buy only quality products and train, train, train.
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