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      "nav.xfrmWatched" => "Watched"
      "nav.xfrmWatchedCategories" => "Watched categories"
      "nav.xfrmWatchedResources" => "Watched resources"
      "nav.xfrmYourResources" => "Your resources"
      "nav.yourThreads" => "Your threads"
      "button.attach" => "Attach files"
      "button.cancel" => "Cancel"
      "button.confirm" => "Confirm"
      "button.copy" => "Copy"
      "button.delete" => "Delete"
      "button.edit" => "Edit"
      "button.export" => "Export"
      "button.hide" => "Hide"
      "button.import" => "Import"
      "button.login" => "Log in"
      "button.merge" => "Merge"
      "button.move" => "Move"
      "button.preview" => "Preview"
      "button.purchase" => "Purchase"
      "button.save" => "Save"
      "button.search" => "Search"
      "button.show" => "Show"
      "button.sort" => "Sort"
      "button.submit" => "Submit"
      "button.translate" => "Translate"
      "widget_def.XP_xpress_recent_posts_3" => "XPress: thxpress_widget_recent_posts"
      "widget_def.adav_level_progress" => "[Audentio] Achievements: Progress to next level"
      "widget_def.adav_recent_achievements" => "[Audentio] Achievements: Recently Earned Achievements"
      "widget_def.adav_tracked_achievements" => "[Audentio] Achievements: Tracked Achievements"
      "widget_def.adca_account_completion" => "[Audentio] Account Completion"
      "widget_def.adlb_leaderboard" => "[Audentio] Leaderboards: Leaderboard"
      "widget_def.birthdays" => "Today's birthdays"
      "widget_def.find_member" => "Find member"
      "widget_def.forum_statistics" => "Forum statistics"
      "widget_def.html" => "HTML"
      "widget_def.member_stat" => "Member stat"
      "widget_def.members_online" => "Members online"
      "widget_def.new_posts" => "New posts"
      "widget_def.new_profile_posts" => "New profile posts"
      "widget_def.new_threads" => "New threads"
      "widget_def.newest_members" => "Newest members"
      "widget_def.nf_calendar_featured_even" => "Calendar: Featured events"
      "widget_def.nf_calendar_upcoming_evnt" => "Calendar: Upcoming events"
      "widget_def.online_statistics" => "Online statistics"
      "widget_def.php_callback" => "PHP callback"
      "widget_def.search_forum" => "Search forum"
      "widget_def.share_page" => "Share this page"
      "widget_def.template_syntax" => "Template syntax"
      "widget_def.th_post_thread_uix" => "[UI.X] Start a thread"
      "widget_def.th_reactplus_top_content" => "[TH] Reactions Plus: Top content"
      "widget_def.th_widget_login_uix" => "[UI.X] Login form"
      "widget_def.thdonate_campaign" => "[TH] Donate: Campaign"
      "widget_def.thdonate_earnings" => "[TH] Donate: Earnings"
      "widget_def.thdonate_goals" => "[TH] Donate: Goals"
      "widget_def.thdonate_topDonations" => "[TH] Donate: Top donations"
      "widget_def.thdonate_topDonors" => "[TH] Donate: Top donors"
      "widget_def.thfeature_full" => "[TH] Featured Threads and Content: Full"
      "widget_def.thfeature_full_thread" => "[TH] Featured Threads and Content: Full Threads"
      "widget_def.thfeature_grid" => "[TH] Featured Threads and Content: Grid"
      "widget_def.thfeature_grid_threads" => "[TH] Featured Threads and Content: Grid Threads"
      "widget_def.thfeature_slider" => "[TH] Featured Threads and Content: Slider"
      "widget_def.thfeature_slider_threads" => "[TH] Featured Threads and Content: Slider Threads"
      "widget_def.thfilters_filters" => "[TH] Filters"
      "widget_def.threactplus_userReactList" => "[TH] Reactions Plus: Member reaction list"
      "widget_def.thread_poll" => "Thread poll"
      "widget_def.thtrending" => "[TH] Trending"
      "widget_def.thuix_socialMedia" => "[TH] UI.X social media feed"
      "widget_def.thxpress_latest_articles" => "[TH] XPress: Latest Articles"
      "widget_def.visitor_panel" => "Visitor panel"
      "widget_def.xcfs_latest_feedback" => "XCFS: Latest Feedback"
      "widget_def.xcfs_top_traders" => "XCFS: Top Traders"
      "widget_def.xcfs_untrusted_traders" => "XCFS: Untrusted Traders"
      "widget_def.xfes_similar_threads" => "XFES: Similar threads"
      "widget_def.xfmg_albums_slider" => "XFMG: Albums slider"
      "widget_def.xfmg_gallery_statistics" => "XFMG: Gallery statistics"
      "widget_def.xfmg_latest_comments" => "XFMG: Latest comments"
      "widget_def.xfmg_media_slider" => "XFMG: Media slider"
      "widget_def.xfrm_featured_resources" => "XFRM: Featured resources"
      "widget_def.xfrm_latest_reviews" => "XFRM: Latest reviews"
      "widget_def.xfrm_new_resources" => "XFRM: New resources"
      "widget_def.xfrm_top_resources" => "XFRM: Top resources"
      "widget.Complete_Account" => "Complete Your Account"
      "widget.advertisement" => "Advertisement"
      "widget.app_download_canvas" => "App download"
      "widget.become_a_member" => "Upgrade Your Account"
      "widget.canvas_menu" => "Canvas Menu"
      "widget.canvas_menu_social" => "Canvas menu social"
      "widget.donation" => "Help Cover Community Costs!"
      "widget.forum_overview_forum_statistics" => ""
      "widget.forum_overview_members_online" => ""
      "widget.forum_overview_new_posts" => ""
      "widget.forum_overview_new_profile_posts" => ""
      "widget.forum_overview_share_page" => ""
      "widget.latest_followed_profile_posts" => "Latest profile posts by followers"
      "widget.latest_posts" => "Latest posts"
      "widget.latest_profile_posts" => "Latest profile posts"
      "widget.latest_watched" => "Latest watched"
      "widget.leaderboards" => "Leaderboard: Posts"
      "widget.member_wrapper_find_member" => ""
      "widget.member_wrapper_newest_members" => ""
      "widget.nf_calendar_list_featured_events" => ""
      "widget.online_list_online_statistics" => ""
      "widget.sh_forumStats" => "Forum Statistics"
      "widget.sh_homeTrending" => "Trending Threads"
      "widget.sh_mediaSlider" => "Latest Media"
      "widget.sh_subscribe" => "Subscribe"
      "widget.thdonate_earnings" => ""
      "widget.thdonate_goals" => ""
      "widget.thdonate_topDonations" => ""
      "widget.thdonate_topDonors" => ""
      "widget.thuix_footer_aboutUsWidget" => "About us"
      "widget.uix_footer_forumStatistics" => ""
      "widget.uix_footer_newPosts" => ""
      "widget.uix_footer_onlineStatistics" => ""
      "widget.uix_footer_sharePage" => ""
      "widget.uix_sidebar_postNewThread" => "Can't find a topic?"
      "widget.unread_posts" => "Unread posts"
      "widget.whats_new_new_posts" => ""
      "widget.whats_new_new_profile_posts" => ""
      "widget.xfes_thread_view_below_quick_reply_similar_threads" => ""
      "widget.xfrm_forum_overview_new_resources" => ""
      "widget.xfrm_list_featured_resources" => ""
      "widget.xfrm_list_top_resources" => ""
      "widget.xfrm_overview_latest_reviews" => ""
      "widget.xfrm_overview_top_authors" => ""
      "widget.xfrm_whats_new_overview_new_resources" => ""
      "reactions.1_person" => "1 person"
      "reactions.deleted_user" => "(deleted member)"
      "reactions.threactplus_one_user" => "1 user"
      "reactions.threactplus_x_users" => "{count} users"
      "reactions.threactplus_you_and_x_others" => "You and {count} others"
      "reactions.user1" => "{user1}"
      "reactions.user1_and_user2" => "{user1} and {user2}"
      "reactions.user1_user2_and_user3" => "{user1}, {user2} and {user3}"
      "reactions.user1_user2_user3_and_1_other" => "{user1}, {user2}, {user3} and 1 other person"
      "reactions.user1_user2_user3_and_x_others" => "{user1}, {user2}, {user3} and {others} others"
      "reactions.x_people" => "{reactions} people"
      "reactions.you" => "You"
      "reactions.you_and_user1" => "You and {user1}"
      "reactions.you_user1_and_user2" => "You, {user1} and {user2}"
      "reactions.you_user1_user2_and_1_other" => "You, {user1}, {user2} and 1 other person"
      "reactions.you_user1_user2_and_x_others" => "You, {user1}, {user2} and {others} others"
      "reaction_title.1" => "Like"
      "reaction_title.2" => "Love"
      "reaction_title.3" => "Haha"
      "reaction_title.4" => "Wow"
      "reaction_title.5" => "Sad"
      "reaction_title.6" => "Angry"
      "trophy_title.1" => "First Real Post"
      "trophy_title.10" => "Old School Sniper's Hide"
      "trophy_title.11" => "Posts (Silent)"
      "trophy_title.12" => "Logging In (Silent)"
      "trophy_title.13" => "Post Media Items (Silent)"
      "trophy_title.136" => "Test Achievement 4"
      "trophy_title.14" => "Spotted"
      "trophy_title.15" => "Rifle Cleaner"
      "trophy_title.16" => "Completed Profile"
      "trophy_title.17" => "Gunsmith"
      "trophy_title.19" => "Community Contributor"
      "trophy_title.2" => "Just getting into Precision Rifle."
      "trophy_title.20" => "Marksman!"
      "trophy_title.22" => "Made America Great Again"
      "trophy_title.23" => "Professor"
      "trophy_title.25" => "Leaderboard Legend"
      "trophy_title.26" => "Commercial Sales Member"
      "trophy_title.27" => "Supporter"
      "trophy_title.3" => "Look Everyone I can Sell Now !"
      "trophy_title.4" => "Hide Addict !"
      "trophy_title.5" => "Members are Noticing"
      "trophy_title.6" => "Hide Rockstar, Lady Gaga Approved!"
      "trophy_title.7" => "They like me, they really like me!"
      "trophy_title.8" => "I want to have Lowlight's Love Child"
      "trophy_title.9" => "I LOVE IT LONG TIME"
      "a_moment_ago" => "A moment ago"
      "actions" => "Actions"
      "approve" => "Approve"
      "continue_reading" => "Continue reading..."
      "conversations" => "Conversations"
      "date_x_at_time_y" => "{date} at {time}"
      "day_friday" => "Friday"
      "day_friday_short" => "Fri"
      "day_monday" => "Monday"
      "day_monday_short" => "Mon"
      "day_saturday" => "Saturday"
      "day_saturday_short" => "Sat"
      "day_sunday" => "Sunday"
      "day_sunday_short" => "Sun"
      "day_thursday" => "Thursday"
      "day_thursday_short" => "Thu"
      "day_tuesday" => "Tuesday"
      "day_tuesday_short" => "Tue"
      "day_wednesday" => "Wednesday"
      "day_wednesday_short" => "Wed"
      "day_x_at_time_y" => "{day} at {time}"
      "delete" => "Delete"
      "edit_avatar" => "Edit avatar"
      "follow" => "Follow"
      "forums" => "Forums"
      "from_x_location" => "From {location}"
      "guest" => "Guest"
      "help" => "Help"
      "in_a_minute" => "In a minute"
      "in_a_moment" => "In a moment"
      "in_x_minutes" => "In {minutes} minutes"
      "later_today_at_x" => "Later today at {time}"
      "master_language" => "Master language"
      "master_style" => "Master style"
      "members" => "Members"
      "month_1" => "January"
      "month_10" => "October"
      "month_10_short" => "Oct"
      "month_11" => "November"
      "month_11_short" => "Nov"
      "month_12" => "December"
      "month_12_short" => "Dec"
      "month_1_short" => "Jan"
      "month_2" => "February"
      "month_2_short" => "Feb"
      "month_3" => "March"
      "month_3_short" => "Mar"
      "month_4" => "April"
      "month_4_short" => "Apr"
      "month_5" => "May"
      "month_5_short" => "May"
      "month_6" => "June"
      "month_6_short" => "Jun"
      "month_7" => "July"
      "month_7_short" => "Jul"
      "month_8" => "August"
      "month_8_short" => "Aug"
      "month_9" => "September"
      "month_9_short" => "Sep"
      "new_posts" => "New posts"
      "new_profile_posts" => "New profile posts"
      "no_items_to_display" => "No items to display"
      "none" => "None"
      "one_minute_ago" => "1 minute ago"
      "realms_realm_quiz_user" => "Realm Quiz User"
      "s9e_MediaSites_Footer_Credit" => "Media embeds via s9e/MediaSites"
      "show_hidden_content_by_x" => "Show hidden content by {names}"
      "show_ignored_content" => "Show ignored content"
      "showing_all_items" => "Showing all items"
      "showing_x_of_y_items" => "Showing {count} of {total} items"
      "spoiler" => "Spoiler"
      "staff_member" => "Staff member"
      "th_progress_bar_color_will_change_donate" => "Once this milestone has been reached the progress bar will change to this color. If left blank it will display the default color from your color palette."
      "there_are_x_items_in_total" => "There are {total} items in total"
      "time_am_lower" => "am"
      "time_am_upper" => "AM"
      "time_pm_lower" => "pm"
      "time_pm_upper" => "PM"
      "title_page_x" => " | Page {page}"
      "today_at_x" => "Today at {time}"
      "tomorrow_at_x" => "Tomorrow at {time}"
      "unfollow" => "Unfollow"
      "ungrouped" => "Ungrouped"
      "upload_file" => "Upload file"
      "viewing_an_error" => "Viewing an error"
      "x_b" => "{number}B"
      "x_bytes" => "{size} bytes"
      "x_gb" => "{size} GB"
      "x_k" => "{number}K"
      "x_kb" => "{size} KB"
      "x_m" => "{number}M"
      "x_mb" => "{size} MB"
      "x_minutes_ago" => "{minutes} minutes ago"
      "x_tb" => "{size} TB"
      "xfmg_browse_albums" => "Browse albums"
      "xfmg_x_seconds" => "{count} second(s)"
      "xfrm_resource_icon" => "Resource icon"
      "yesterday_at_x" => "Yesterday at {time}"
      "your_account" => "Your account"
      "th_reactplus_show_hidden_low_quality_content" => "Show hidden low quality content"
      "thcovers_no_edit_permissions" => "You are not allowed to edit this cover."
    ]
    #phrasesToLoad: array:1 [
      "thcovers_no_position_permissions" => true
    ]
    #groupsCached: array:7 [
      "trophy_title" => true
      "reaction_title" => true
      "reactions" => true
      "widget" => true
      "widget_def" => true
      "button" => true
      "nav" => true
    ]
    #date: DateTime @1723256114 {#312
      date: 2024-08-09 22:15:14.0 America/New_York (-04:00)
    }
    #dayStartTimestamps: array:6 [
      "tomorrow" => "1732424400"
      "now" => 1732418410
      "today" => "1732338000"
      "todayDow" => "6"
      "yesterday" => "1732251600"
      "week" => "1731819600"
    ]
    #dowTranslation: array:7 [
      0 => "sunday"
      1 => "monday"
      2 => "tuesday"
      3 => "wednesday"
      4 => "thursday"
      5 => "friday"
      6 => "saturday"
    ]
    #rdc: array:60 [
      1714463272 => array:1 [ …1]
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      1723093523 => array:1 [ …1]
      1723256114 => array:1 [ …1]
    ]
  }
  "style" => Style {#321
    #id: "27"
    #lastModified: 1731439652
    #properties: array:696 [
      "adavAchievementCriteria" => array:3 [ …3]
      "adavAchievementCriterionProgressBar" => array:5 [ …5]
      "adavAchievementCriterionProgressBarInner" => array:3 [ …3]
      "adavAchievementCriterionProgressBarStatus" => array:1 [ …1]
      "adavAchievementExperience" => array:3 [ …3]
      "adavAchievementTitle" => array:2 [ …2]
      "adst_shepherdElement" => array:3 [ …3]
      "animationSpeed" => "0.2s"
      "audapp_primaryColor" => "#677e9a"
      "audapp_secondaryColor" => "#677e9a"
      "avatarBg" => "rgb(27,27,27)"
      "avatarBorderRadius" => "8px"
      "badge" => array:4 [ …4]
      "bbCodeBlock" => array:6 [ …6]
      "bbCodeBlockTitle" => array:3 [ …3]
      "bbCodeInlineCode" => array:9 [ …9]
      "blockBorder" => array:5 [ …5]
      "blockBorderRadius" => "8px"
      "blockFilterBar" => array:3 [ …3]
      "blockFooter" => array:5 [ …5]
      "blockFooterBg" => "rgb(45,45,45)"
      "blockFooterTextColor" => "rgba(255, 255, 255, 0.6)"
      "blockHeader" => array:6 [ …6]
      "blockLink" => array:4 [ …4]
      "blockLinkSelected" => array:5 [ …5]
      "blockMinorHeader" => array:6 [ …6]
      "blockMinorTabHeader" => array:5 [ …5]
      "blockMinorTabHeaderSelected" => array:2 [ …2]
      "blockPaddingH" => "16px"
      "blockPaddingV" => "16px"
      "blockTabHeader" => array:6 [ …6]
      "blockTabHeaderBg" => "transparent"
      "blockTabHeaderSelected" => array:2 [ …2]
      "blockTabHeaderTextColor" => "rgba(255, 255, 255, 0.6)"
      "blockTextHeader" => array:3 [ …3]
      "borderColor" => "rgba(255,255,255,.14)"
      "borderColorAccentContent" => "#677e9a"
      "borderColorAttention" => "#677e9a"
      "borderColorFaint" => "rgba(255,255,255,.14)"
      "borderColorFeature" => "#677e9a"
      "borderColorHeavy" => "rgba(255,255,255,.14)"
      "borderColorHighlight" => "#677e9a"
      "borderColorLight" => "rgba(255,255,255,.14)"
      "borderRadiusLarge" => "12px"
      "borderRadiusMedium" => "8px"
      "borderRadiusSmall" => "8px"
      "borderSize" => "0px"
      "borderSizeFeature" => "2px"
      "buttonBase" => array:8 [ …8]
      "buttonBg" => "fade(rgba(255, 255, 255, 0.8), 14%)"
      "buttonCta" => array:3 [ …3]
      "buttonCtaBg" => "#677e9a"
      "buttonDefault" => array:3 [ …3]
      "buttonDisabled" => array:4 [ …4]
      "buttonPrimary" => array:3 [ …3]
      "buttonPrimaryBg" => "#677e9a"
      "buttonTextColor" => "rgba(255, 255, 255, 0.8)"
      "chip" => array:5 [ …5]
      "chipHover" => array:1 [ …1]
      "chromeBg" => "mix(#677e9a, rgb(27,27,27), 10%)"
      "chromeTextColor" => "rgb(36,36,36)"
      "contentAccentBase" => array:2 [ …2]
      "contentAccentBg" => "mix(#677e9a, rgb(27,27,27), 10%)"
      "contentAccentLink" => array:1 [ …1]
      "contentAltBase" => array:2 [ …2]
      "contentAltBg" => "rgb(36,36,36)"
      "contentBase" => array:2 [ …2]
      "contentBg" => "rgb(27,27,27)"
      "contentHighlightBase" => array:2 [ …2]
      "contentHighlightBg" => "rgb(45,45,45)"
      "dataListFooter" => array:5 [ …5]
      "dataListHeader" => array:7 [ …7]
      "dataListPaddingH" => "16px"
      "dataListPaddingV" => "16px"
      "dataListSection" => array:5 [ …5]
      "editorBg" => "rgb(45,45,45)"
      "editorButtonActiveColor" => "rgba(255, 255, 255, 0.8)"
      "editorButtonColor" => "fade(mix(rgba(255, 255, 255, 0.8), rgb(255, 255, 255)), 85%)"
      "editorButtonDisabledColor" => "mix(rgb(27,27,27), rgba(255, 255, 255, 0.6), 60%)"
      "editorButtonHoverBg" => "fade(rgba(255, 255, 255, 0.8), 15%)"
      "editorButtonHoverColor" => "rgba(255, 255, 255, 0.8)"
      "editorButtonSelectedBg" => "fade(rgba(255, 255, 255, 0.8), 15%)"
      "editorButtonSize" => "18px"
      "editorColor" => "rgba(255, 255, 255, 0.8)"
      "editorFocusBg" => "xf-intensify(rgb(45,45,45), 1%)"
      "editorFocusColor" => "rgba(255, 255, 255, 0.8)"
      "editorImageHandles" => "#677e9a"
      "editorSelectionBg" => "rgb(36,36,36)"
      "editorSelectionColor" => "rgba(255, 255, 255, 0.8)"
      "editorToolsFocusBg" => "linear-gradient(180deg, rgb(45,45,45), xf-intensify(rgb(45,45,45), 1%))"
      "editorToolsOverflowBg" => "xf-intensify(rgb(45,45,45), 3%)"
      "elementSpacer" => "16px"
      "emailBg" => "rgb(18,18,18)"
      "emailBorderColor" => "rgba(255,255,255,.14)"
      "emailContentAltBg" => "rgb(36,36,36)"
      "emailContentBg" => "rgb(27,27,27)"
      "emailFont" => "ui-sans-serif,system-ui,sans-serif,Apple Color Emoji,Segoe UI Emoji,Segoe UI Symbol,Noto Color Emoji"
      "emailHeaderColor" => "rgba(255, 255, 255, 0.8)"
      "emailLinkColor" => "#677e9a"
      "emailTextColor" => "rgba(255, 255, 255, 0.8)"
      "emailTextColorMuted" => "rgba(255, 255, 255, 0.6)"
      "fixedMessage" => array:7 [ …7]
      "flashMessage" => array:5 [ …5]
      "fontFamilyBody" => "ui-sans-serif,system-ui,sans-serif,Apple Color Emoji,Segoe UI Emoji,Segoe UI Symbol,Noto Color Emoji"
      "fontFamilyUi" => "ui-sans-serif,system-ui,sans-serif,Apple Color Emoji,Segoe UI Emoji,Segoe UI Symbol,Noto Color Emoji"
      "fontSizeLarge" => "1.6rem"
      "fontSizeLarger" => "2.0rem"
      "fontSizeLargest" => "2.4rem"
      "fontSizeNormal" => "1.6rem"
      "fontSizeSmall" => "1.4rem"
      "fontSizeSmaller" => "1.4rem"
      "fontSizeSmallest" => "1.1rem"
      "formExplain" => array:2 [ …2]
      "formHint" => array:2 [ …2]
      "formLabel" => array:3 [ …3]
      "formRowPaddingHInner" => "16px"
      "formRowPaddingHOuter" => "16px"
      "formRowPaddingV" => "16px"
      "formSectionHeader" => array:6 [ …6]
      "formSubmitRow" => array:3 [ …3]
      "globalActionColor" => "#677e9a"
      "inlineModBar" => array:6 [ …6]
      "inlineModHighlightColor" => "mix(#677e9a, rgb(27,27,27), 10%)"
      "input" => array:10 [ …10]
      "inputBgColor" => "rgb(45,45,45)"
      "inputDisabled" => array:2 [ …2]
      "inputFocus" => array:3 [ …3]
      "inputFocusBgColor" => "xf-intensify(rgb(45,45,45), 1%)"
      "inputTextColor" => "rgba(255, 255, 255, 0.8)"
      "link" => array:2 [ …2]
      "linkColor" => "#677e9a"
      "linkHover" => array:2 [ …2]
      "linkHoverColor" => "xf-intensify(#677e9a, 17%)"
      "majorHeadingBg" => "transparent"
      "majorHeadingTextColor" => "rgb(255, 255, 255)"
      "memberHeader" => array:3 [ …3]
      "memberHeaderBlurbContainerBanner" => array:4 [ …4]
      "memberHeaderName" => array:2 [ …2]
      "memberTooltipBlurbContainerBanner" => array:5 [ …5]
      "memberTooltipHeader" => array:4 [ …4]
      "memberTooltipName" => array:1 [ …1]
      "menu" => array:6 [ …6]
      "menuBorderRadius" => "8px"
      "menuFeatureBorderColor" => "rgba(255,255,255,.14)"
      "menuFooter" => array:6 [ …6]
      "menuHeader" => array:5 [ …5]
      "menuLinkRow" => array:2 [ …2]
      "menuLinkRowSelected" => array:3 [ …3]
      "menuTabHeader" => array:5 [ …5]
      "menuTabHeaderSelected" => array:2 [ …2]
      "messageNewIndicator" => array:8 [ …8]
      "messagePadding" => "16px"
      "messagePaddingSmall" => "16px"
      "messageSignature" => array:7 [ …7]
      "messageUserBlock" => array:3 [ …3]
      "messageUserElements" => array:9 [ …9]
      "metaThemeColor" => "#677e9a"
      "minorBlockContent" => array:3 [ …3]
      "minorHeadingTextColor" => "rgba(255, 255, 255, 0.8)"
      "nodeIconReadColor" => "#fff"
      "nodeIconUnreadColor" => "#fff"
      "nodeListDescriptionDisplay" => "inline"
      "overlayHeader" => array:8 [ …8]
      "overlayMaskColor" => "rgba(0, 0, 0, .3)"
      "paddingLarge" => "16px"
      "paddingLargest" => "24px"
      "paddingMedium" => "16px"
      "paddingSmall" => "8px"
      "pageBackground" => array:1 [ …1]
      "pageBg" => "rgb(18,18,18)"
      "pageEdgeSpacer" => "30px"
      "paletteAccent1" => "#677e9a"
      "paletteAccent2" => "#677e9a"
      "paletteAccent3" => "#677e9a"
      "paletteColor1" => "rgb(27,27,27)"
      "paletteColor2" => "rgb(36,36,36)"
      "paletteColor3" => "rgb(45,45,45)"
      "paletteColor4" => "rgb(18,18,18)"
      "paletteColor5" => "mix(#677e9a, rgb(27,27,27), 10%)"
      "paletteNeutral1" => "rgb(255, 255, 255)"
      "paletteNeutral2" => "rgba(255, 255, 255, 0.6)"
      "paletteNeutral3" => "rgba(255, 255, 255, 0.8)"
      "profilePostCommentToggle" => 1
      "progressBarColor" => "#677e9a"
      "publicFaviconUrl" => "styles/snipershide/snipershide/sh-favicon.svg"
      "publicFooter" => array:2 [ …2]
      "publicFooterLink" => array:1 [ …1]
      "publicHeader" => array:3 [ …3]
      "publicHeaderAdjustColor" => ""
      "publicIconUrl" => "data/assets/logo/192.png"
      "publicIconUrlLarge" => "data/assets/logo/512.png"
      "publicLogoHeight" => "60"
      "publicLogoUrl" => "styles/snipershide/snipershide/logo-top.svg"
      "publicLogoWidth" => "417"
      "publicMetadataLogoUrl" => "https://snipershide.com/shooting/styles/snipershide/snipershide/SHMetaplatev2.png"
      "publicNav" => array:3 [ …3]
      "publicNavCollapseWidth" => "1000px"
      "publicNavPaddingH" => "12px"
      "publicNavSelected" => array:2 [ …2]
      "publicNavTab" => array:5 [ …5]
      "publicNavTabHover" => array:2 [ …2]
      "publicNavTabMenuOpen" => array:1 [ …1]
      "publicStaffBar" => array:5 [ …5]
      "publicSubNav" => array:5 [ …5]
      "publicSubNavElHover" => array:1 [ …1]
      "publicSubNavElMenuOpen" => array:1 [ …1]
      "publicSubNavPaddingV" => "2px"
      "responsiveEdgeSpacerRemoval" => "1000px"
      "responsiveWide" => "1000px"
      "scrollJumpButtons" => "both"
      "sidebarSpacer" => "16px"
      "sidebarWidth" => "300px"
      "standaloneTab" => array:4 [ …4]
      "standaloneTabSelected" => array:2 [ …2]
      "starEmptyColor" => "rgba(255,255,255,.14)"
      "starFullColor" => "#677e9a"
      "styleType" => "dark"
      "subNavBg" => "rgb(45,45,45)"
      "subNavTextColor" => "rgba(255, 255, 255, 0.6)"
      "textColor" => "rgba(255, 255, 255, 0.8)"
      "textColorAccentContent" => "#677e9a"
      "textColorAttention" => "#677e9a"
      "textColorDimmed" => "rgba(255, 255, 255, 0.6)"
      "textColorEmphasized" => "#677e9a"
      "textColorFeature" => "rgba(255, 255, 255, 0.8)"
      "textColorMuted" => "rgba(255, 255, 255, 0.6)"
      "th_nodeBody" => array:1 [ …1]
      "th_reactplus_countStyling" => array:8 [ …8]
      "thdonate_progressBar" => array:1 [ …1]
      "thdonate_progressBarContainer" => array:3 [ …3]
      "thfeature_slider" => array:1 [ …1]
      "thuix_webapp_backgroundColor" => "#677e9a"
      "thxpress_dotsNavigation" => 1
      "thxpress_postExcerptTitle" => array:4 [ …4]
      "tl_backgroundColor" => "rgb(45,45,45)"
      "tl_backgroundLightColor" => "rgb(27,27,27)"
      "tl_fontColor" => "rgba(255, 255, 255, 0.8)"
      "tl_fontDarkColor" => "rgba(255, 255, 255, 0.8)"
      "tl_fontExtraLightColor" => "rgba(255, 255, 255, 0.6)"
      "tl_fontLightColor" => "rgba(255, 255, 255, 0.6)"
      "tl_lineColor" => "rgba(255,255,255,.14)"
      "tl_lineLightColor" => "rgba(255,255,255,.14)"
      "tl_overlayColor" => "rgb(45,45,45)"
      "tl_primaryColor" => "#677e9a"
      "tl_secondaryColor" => "#677e9a"
      "tooltip" => array:8 [ …8]
      "uix_abridgedSignatures" => 1
      "uix_activeNavTitle" => 0
      "uix_activeNavTitleStyle" => array:7 [ …7]
      "uix_additionalCss" => "ac_app.less,realms.less"
      "uix_alertsUnread" => 0
      "uix_avatarShape" => "1"
      "uix_backstretch" => 0
      "uix_backstretchDuration" => "4000"
      "uix_backstretchFade" => "500"
      "uix_backstretchImages" => ""styles/acui/images/bg/1.jpg", "styles/acui/images/bg/2.jpg", "styles/acui/images/bg/3.jpg""
      "uix_backstretchSelector" => "body"
      "uix_betaMode" => 0
      "uix_blockBody" => []
      "uix_blockContainer" => array:3 [ …3]
      "uix_blockMessage" => array:3 [ …3]
      "uix_blockOuter" => array:1 [ …1]
      "uix_blockTabHeaderTab" => []
      "uix_borderRadiusJs" => 0
      "uix_borderRadiusSelectors" => ".p-footer-inner, .uix_extendedFooter, .p-nav, .p-sectionLinks, .p-staffBar, .p-header, #wpadminbar"
      "uix_bottomBreadcrumbLocation" => "belowMainContainer"
      "uix_brandmarkImage__breakpoint" => "0"
      "uix_breadcrumbItem" => array:1 [ …1]
      "uix_breadcrumbItem__active" => array:1 [ …1]
      "uix_breadcrumbStyle" => array:1 [ …1]
      "uix_breadcrumbWrapper" => []
      "uix_breadcrumbWrapperBottom" => array:1 [ …1]
      "uix_buttonActive" => array:2 [ …2]
      "uix_buttonCtaActive" => []
      "uix_buttonCtaHover" => array:1 [ …1]
      "uix_buttonHover" => array:2 [ …2]
      "uix_buttonLink" => array:4 [ …4]
      "uix_buttonPrimaryActive" => []
      "uix_buttonPrimaryHover" => array:1 [ …1]
      "uix_buttonRipple" => 1
      "uix_buttonSmall" => array:5 [ …5]
      "uix_canvas" => array:2 [ …2]
      "uix_canvasHeader" => []
      "uix_canvasNavItem" => array:2 [ …2]
      "uix_canvasNavItemActive" => array:2 [ …2]
      "uix_canvasNavItemHover" => array:1 [ …1]
      "uix_canvasNavSubItem" => array:2 [ …2]
      "uix_categoryCollapse" => 1
      "uix_categoryDescription" => array:5 [ …5]
      "uix_categoryDescriptionDisplay" => "tooltip"
      "uix_categoryIconStyle" => array:3 [ …3]
      "uix_categoryStrip" => array:5 [ …5]
      "uix_categoryStripIcons" => 0
      "uix_categoryStripOutsideWrapper" => 0
      "uix_clickableThreads" => 0
      "uix_collapseExtraInfo" => 1
      "uix_collapseStaffbarLinks" => 1
      "uix_collapseibleSubForums" => 0
      "uix_collapsibleSidebar" => 1
      "uix_collapsibleStickyThreads" => 1
      "uix_condenseVisitorTabs" => 0
      "uix_contentWrapper" => "0"
      "uix_contentWrapperStyle" => array:3 [ …3]
      "uix_copyrightOrder" => "30"
      "uix_defaultNavIcon" => 1
      "uix_defaultSidebarIcon" => 1
      "uix_detachedNavigation" => 1
      "uix_discussionList" => array:1 [ …1]
      "uix_discussionListAnimation" => 0
      "uix_discussionListCollapseWidth" => "1000px"
      "uix_discussionListItem" => []
      "uix_discussionListItemDeleted" => []
      "uix_discussionListItemEven" => ""
      "uix_discussionListItemHover" => ""
      "uix_discussionListItemModerated" => []
      "uix_discussionListItemSticky" => []
      "uix_discussionListTitle" => array:3 [ …3]
      "uix_discussionListTitleUnread" => array:1 [ …1]
      "uix_dropdownHover" => 0
      "uix_elevation1" => "0 10px 20px rgba(0,0,0,0.09), 0 6px 6px rgba(0,0,0,0.15)"
      "uix_elevation2" => "0 3px 10px 2px rgba(0,0,0,.1), 0 1px 18px 0px rgba(0, 0, 0, 0.12), 0 3px 5px 0 rgba(0, 0, 0, 0.2)"
      "uix_enableExtendedFooter" => 0
      "uix_enableMainTabs" => 0
      "uix_enableWelcomeHeaderImage" => 0
      "uix_extendedFooterOrder" => "10"
      "uix_extendedFooterStyle" => array:6 [ …6]
      "uix_extendedFooter__whiteText" => 0
      "uix_externalLinkIcon" => 1
      "uix_fab" => "mobile"
      "uix_fabBarBackground" => "rgb(27,27,27)"
      "uix_fabScroll" => 0
      "uix_fabVw" => "1000px"
      "uix_footerChooser" => array:2 [ …2]
      "uix_footerChooserHover" => array:1 [ …1]
      "uix_footerCopyrightRow" => array:4 [ …4]
      "uix_footerIcons" => 0
      "uix_footerInsideContent" => 0
      "uix_footerLinkHover" => array:2 [ …2]
      "uix_footerMenu" => array:1 [ …1]
      "uix_footerMenuOrder" => "20"
      "uix_footerWidget" => array:4 [ …4]
      "uix_footerWidgetBody" => []
      "uix_footerWidgetFooter" => array:4 [ …4]
      "uix_footerWidgetHeader" => array:5 [ …5]
      "uix_footerWidgetPadding" => "16px"
      "uix_footerWidgetRow" => array:2 [ …2]
      "uix_footerWidgetWidth" => "280px"
      "uix_forceCoverCopyright" => 0
      "uix_forceCoverExtendedFooter" => 0
      "uix_forceCoverFooterMenu" => 0
      "uix_glyphCategoryIcon" => ""
      "uix_glyphForumIcon" => ""
      "uix_glyphLinkIcon" => ""
      "uix_glyphPageIcon" => ""
      "uix_googleFonts" => ""
      "uix_headerWhiteSpace" => "0px"
      "uix_headerWrapper" => array:1 [ …1]
      "uix_headingFont" => "ui-sans-serif,system-ui,sans-serif,Apple Color Emoji,Segoe UI Emoji,Segoe UI Symbol,Noto Color Emoji"
      "uix_headingFontWeight" => "400"
      "uix_headingFontWeightHeavy" => "700"
      "uix_hideElementsDuringJSLoad" => 1
      "uix_hideExtendedFooterMobile" => 0
      "uix_hideNodeLastPost" => 0
      "uix_hideNodeStats" => 0
      "uix_hideSingleCrumb" => 1
      "uix_hideStyleChoose" => 0
      "uix_hideTopPagenavMobile" => 1
      "uix_homeCrumbIcon" => 1
      "uix_iconFont" => array:1 [ …1]
      "uix_iconFontFamily" => "material"
      "uix_iconSize" => "18px"
      "uix_iconSizeLarge" => "24px"
      "uix_imageForumIcon" => array:2 [ …2]
      "uix_imageForumUnreadIcon" => array:2 [ …2]
      "uix_imageIcon" => array:1 [ …1]
      "uix_imageLinkIcon" => array:2 [ …2]
      "uix_imagePageIcon" => array:2 [ …2]
      "uix_imagePath" => "styles/acui"
      "uix_jsPath" => "acui"
      "uix_lazyLoadSupport" => 0
      "uix_loginStyle" => "link"
      "uix_loginTriggerPosition" => "navigation"
      "uix_logoIcon" => "mdi mdi-tune"
      "uix_logoIconStyle" => array:2 [ …2]
      "uix_logoSmall" => ""
      "uix_logoText" => "UI.X"
      "uix_logoTextBreakpoint" => "650px"
      "uix_logoText__style" => array:4 [ …4]
      "uix_logoWidth" => "222.4px"
      "uix_mainTabsBarStyling" => array:1 [ …1]
      "uix_mainTabsHeight" => "50px"
      "uix_mainTabsSticky" => 0
      "uix_materialAvatars" => 1
      "uix_message" => array:2 [ …2]
      "uix_messageActionBar" => []
      "uix_messageAnimation" => 0
      "uix_messageAttachments" => array:3 [ …3]
      "uix_messageBody" => array:3 [ …3]
      "uix_messageControl" => array:7 [ …7]
      "uix_messageControlHover" => array:3 [ …3]
      "uix_messageLikes" => array:5 [ …5]
      "uix_messageMain" => array:1 [ …1]
      "uix_messageMeta" => array:4 [ …4]
      "uix_messageNotice" => array:2 [ …2]
      "uix_metaCell" => []
      "uix_mobileTabsNav" => 1
      "uix_navAboveHeader" => 0
      "uix_navLogoVertSpacing" => "11px"
      "uix_navTabIconStyle" => array:2 [ …2]
      "uix_navTabIcons" => 0
      "uix_navigationBarHeight" => "72px"
      "uix_navigationType" => "default"
      "uix_newNodeMarker" => 1
      "uix_newNodeMarkerStyle" => array:8 [ …8]
      "uix_nodeAnimations" => 0
      "uix_nodeBlockBody" => array:2 [ …2]
      "uix_nodeBody" => array:2 [ …2]
      "uix_nodeBodyEven" => ""
      "uix_nodeBodyHover" => array:2 [ …2]
      "uix_nodeClickable" => 1
      "uix_nodeContainer" => array:4 [ …4]
      "uix_nodeDescription" => array:3 [ …3]
      "uix_nodeIconImages" => 0
      "uix_nodeIconStyle" => array:4 [ …4]
      "uix_nodeIconWidth" => "51px"
      "uix_nodePadding" => "16px"
      "uix_nodeStatsHover" => 0
      "uix_nodeStatsIcons" => 1
      "uix_nodeTitle" => array:4 [ …4]
      "uix_nodeTitle__unread" => []
      "uix_noticeLocation" => "aboveMainContainer"
      "uix_onlineIndicator" => "default"
      "uix_originalPoster" => "icon"
      "uix_pageAnimation" => 0
      "uix_pageStyle" => "covered"
      "uix_pageTitle" => array:3 [ …3]
      "uix_pageWidthToggle" => "fixed"
      "uix_pageWrapper" => array:4 [ …4]
      "uix_parallax" => 0
      "uix_parallaxImage" => "styles/acui/images/welcome-banner.png"
      "uix_parallaxPosition" => "center"
      "uix_parallaxSelector" => ".uix_welcomeSection"
      "uix_postBitAvatarSize" => "small"
      "uix_postBitIcons" => 1
      "uix_prefixAccent" => "#677e9a"
      "uix_prefixBlue" => "#2196F3"
      "uix_prefixGray" => "#616161"
      "uix_prefixGreen" => "#4CAF50"
      "uix_prefixLightGreen" => "#8BC34A"
      "uix_prefixOlive" => "#689F38"
      "uix_prefixOrange" => "#FF9800"
      "uix_prefixPrimary" => "#677e9a"
      "uix_prefixRed" => "#D32F2F"
      "uix_prefixRedSkyBlue" => "#03A9F4"
      "uix_prefixRoyalBlue" => "#0D47A1"
      "uix_prefixSilver" => "#CFD8DC"
      "uix_prefixYellow" => "#FFEB3B"
      "uix_primaryColor" => "#677e9a"
      "uix_primaryColorDarker" => "#677e9a"
      "uix_removeBottomBreadcrumb" => 0
      "uix_removeHeaderWrapper" => 1
      "uix_removeIndexPageTitle" => 0
      "uix_removeMessageArrow" => 1
      "uix_removePageAction" => 0
      "uix_removeRegisterText" => 0
      "uix_removeVisitorTabsText" => 1
      "uix_removeWhatsNewButtons" => 1
      "uix_responsiveLogoFontSize" => ""
      "uix_rightAlignNavigation" => 0
      "uix_scrollableSidebar" => 0
      "uix_searchBar" => array:5 [ …5]
      "uix_searchBarFocus" => array:1 [ …1]
      "uix_searchBarHeight" => "36px"
      "uix_searchBarPlaceholderColor" => "rgba(255, 255, 255, 0.6)"
      "uix_searchBarPlaceholderFocusColor" => "rgba(255, 255, 255, 0.8)"
      "uix_searchBarWidth" => "250px"
      "uix_searchButton" => 0
      "uix_searchIcon" => array:6 [ …6]
      "uix_searchIconBehavior" => "expandMobile"
      "uix_searchIconFocusColor" => "rgba(255, 255, 255, 0.6)"
      "uix_searchPosition" => "header"
      "uix_search_maxResponsiveWidth" => "10000px"
      "uix_secondaryColor" => "#677e9a"
      "uix_sectionBg" => "#677e9a"
      "uix_sectionLinksStickyStyle" => array:1 [ …1]
      "uix_separateThreads" => 1
      "uix_shareWidgetModal" => 1
      "uix_sideNavCollapsed" => 0
      "uix_sideNavigationAnimation" => 0
      "uix_sidebarBlockRow" => []
      "uix_sidebarBreakpoint" => "1000px"
      "uix_sidebarIcons" => 0
      "uix_sidebarLocation" => "right"
      "uix_sidebarMobileCanvas" => 1
      "uix_sidebarNavWidth" => "210px"
      "uix_sidebarNavigationStyle" => array:1 [ …1]
      "uix_sidebarTriggerPhrase" => 0
      "uix_sidebarTriggerPosition" => "sectionLinks"
      "uix_sidebarWidgetAnimations" => 0
      "uix_sidebarWidgetFooter" => []
      "uix_sidebarWidgetHeading" => array:3 [ …3]
      "uix_sidebarWidgetWrapper" => array:1 [ …1]
      "uix_signatureHoverEnabled" => 0
      "uix_signatureMaxHeight" => "100"
      "uix_similarScrollNotice" => 1
      "uix_socialMediaIcon" => array:1 [ …1]
      "uix_socialMediaPosition" => "copyright"
      "uix_staffBarBreakpoint" => "1000px"
      "uix_staffBarTab" => array:4 [ …4]
      "uix_staffBarTabHover" => array:2 [ …2]
      "uix_stickyCategoryStrips" => 0
      "uix_stickyNavHeight" => "72px"
      "uix_stickyNavigationStyle" => array:2 [ …2]
      "uix_stickySectionLinkHeight" => "40px"
      "uix_stickySidebar" => "disabled"
      "uix_stickySidebarCalcDelay" => "100"
      "uix_stickySidenav" => 1
      "uix_stickyStaffBar" => 1
      "uix_stickyStaffBarHeight" => "40px"
      "uix_stickyStaffbarStyle" => []
      "uix_structPaddingH" => "16px"
      "uix_structPaddingV" => "16px"
      "uix_subForumTitle" => array:1 [ …1]
      "uix_swipeSupport" => 0
      "uix_tabBarLocation" => "header"
      "uix_tablinksInSideNav" => 1
      "uix_tag" => []
      "uix_tagHover" => []
      "uix_textSelection" => array:2 [ …2]
      "uix_threadField" => array:3 [ …3]
      "uix_threadListSeparator" => array:4 [ …4]
      "uix_titlebar" => array:5 [ …5]
      "uix_titlebarLocation" => "mainContainerTop"
      "uix_topBreadcrumbLocation" => "aboveMainContainer"
      "uix_transition" => "cubic-bezier(0.4, 0, 0.2, 1)"
      "uix_userTabsPosition" => "navigation"
      "uix_version" => "2.2.15.0.2"
      "uix_viewportCenterLogo" => "0px"
      "uix_viewportCollapseStaffLinks" => "1000px"
      "uix_viewportCollapseStats" => "1000px"
      "uix_viewportCondenseVisitorTabs" => "10000px"
      "uix_viewportRemoveRegisterText" => "650px"
      "uix_viewportRemoveVisitorTabsText" => "100000px"
      "uix_viewportShowLogoBlock" => "100%"
      "uix_viewportWidthRemoveSubNav" => "1px"
      "uix_visitorPanelIcons" => 0
      "uix_visitorTabsMobile" => "initial"
      "uix_voteActionButton" => "mobile"
      "uix_welcomeSectionForumListOnly" => 1
      "uix_welcomeSectionIcon__style" => array:3 [ …3]
      "uix_welcomeSectionInner" => array:2 [ …2]
      "uix_welcomeSectionLocation" => "sidebar"
      "uix_welcomeSectionOverlay" => ""
      "uix_welcomeSectionText__style" => array:4 [ …4]
      "uix_welcomeSectionTitle__style" => array:2 [ …2]
      "uix_welcomeSectionVisible" => "guests"
      "uix_welcomeSection__buttonText" => "Register"
      "uix_welcomeSection__icon" => ""
      "uix_welcomeSection__style" => array:3 [ …3]
      "uix_welcomeSection__text" => "Get access to live stream, lessons, the post exchange, and chat with other snipers."
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      "uix_widgetPadding" => "16px"
      "xpress_articleListLayout" => "list"
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      "xpress_featuredArticleStyle" => "carousel"
      "xpress_featuredExcerptLength" => "150"
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      "audfeeds_tabbar_location" => "aboveMainContent"
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      "avatarDefaultType" => "text"
      "avatarDynamicFont" => "'Arial', sans-serif"
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      "emailPublicLogoUrl" => ""
      "errorBg" => "rgb(253, 233, 233)"
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      "publicPushBadgeUrl" => "styles/default/xenforo/bell.png"
      "publicPwaInstallVideoUrl" => "styles/default/xenforo/add_to_home.mp4"
      "publicSubNavPaddingH" => "8px"
      "reactionSummaryOnLists" => ""
      "responsiveMedium" => "650px"
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      "thuix_webapp_icon512x512" => ""
      "thxpress_articleFeaturedImageCover" => 1
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      "xpress_articleThumbnailSize" => "thumbnail"
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      "xpress_vwColumnBreakpoint" => "650px"
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      "parent_list" => array:6 [ …6]
      "title" => "Realms: Sniper's Hide (Dark)"
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      "assets" => []
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      "designer_mode" => null
      "th_product_id_uix" => 0
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      "adca_notifyUserAfter" => "7"
      "addBanUserGroup" => "23"
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      "allowedCodeLanguages" => """
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      "attachmentExtensions" => """
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      "attachmentMaxFileSize" => "25000"
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      "audapp_appConfigFailures" => "0"
      "audapp_appConfigKey" => "d3ZYUjJEUEFxdERyOWlWbQ=="
      "audapp_appId" => "com.snipershide.app"
      "audapp_appleBid" => "com.snipershide.app.ios"
      "audapp_appleEnvironment" => "default"
      "audapp_appleSharedSecret" => "f0673ec43fea4ce69a9cab6b362d3738"
      "audapp_darkStyleId" => "22"
      "audapp_enableAppInstallBanner" => "1"
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      "audapp_enableInlineAds" => "1"
      "audapp_enableInterstitialAds" => "1"
      "audapp_enablePushLog" => "0"
      "audapp_featureToggles" => array:11 [ …11]
      "audapp_googleClientEmail" => "[email protected]"
      "audapp_googlePackageName" => "com.snipershide.app.android"
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      "audapp_iOSAppStoreId" => ""
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      "audfeeds_availableTTFilters" => []
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      "audfeeds_cacheTimeLong" => "24"
      "audfeeds_createButton" => array:7 [ …7]
      "audfeeds_curatedLimit" => "100"
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      "audfeeds_decay" => "exp"
      "audfeeds_dropdownSelect" => "1"
      "audfeeds_enableCustomOrder" => "0"
      "audfeeds_enableNodeFilter" => "1"
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      "audfeeds_excludeNodeIds" => []
      "audfeeds_filterAutoSave" => "0"
      "audfeeds_filterWidgetPosition" => "sidenav"
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      "audfeeds_holdPromotionX" => "60"
      "audfeeds_maxPages" => "1000"
      "audfeeds_newsFeedReactions" => "0"
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      "audfeeds_promoteEveryX" => "60"
      "audfeeds_redirectWhatsNew" => "0"
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      "audfeeds_weightReactionSocial" => "100"
      "audfeeds_weightView" => "1"
      "audlive_logApiErrors" => "0"
      "autoEmbedMedia" => array:2 [ …2]
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      "boardInactiveMessage" => "Sniper's Hide is currently undergoing an upgrade. Check back in a few hours!"
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      "boardTitle" => "Sniper's Hide Forum"
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      "boardUrlCanonical" => "0"
      "bounceEmailAddress" => ""
      "captcha" => "ReCaptcha"
      "categoryOwnPage" => "0"
      "censorCharacter" => "*"
      "censorWords" => []
      "changeLogLength" => "60"
      "collectServerStats" => array:4 [ …4]
      "contactEmailAddress" => "[email protected]"
      "contactEmailSenderHeader" => "0"
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      "disallowedCustomTitles" => """
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      "discourageFloodMultiplier" => "10"
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      "s9e_MediaSites_AMAZON_ASSOCIATE_TAG" => ""
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      "s9e_MediaSites_Footer" => "show"
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      "s9e_MediaSites_Markup" => "media"
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      "th_imageoptimizer_disabledContentTypes" => []
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      "th_instagramUrl_uix" => "https://www.instagram.com/shlowlight"
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      "th_optimizeOnUpload_imageOptimizer" => "1"
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      "th_postbitCollapseDefault_uix" => "all"
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      "th_redditUrl_uix" => ""
      "th_sidebarCollapseDefault_uix" => ""
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      "th_sidebarNavCollapseDefault_uix" => ""
      "th_steamUrl_uix" => ""
      "th_tumblrUrl_uix" => ""
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      "thconnectedaccountproviders_mapToCustom" => array:2 [ …2]
      "thconnectedaccountproviders_redirectAfterLogout" => ""
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      "xfmgAudioExtensions" => """
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        flac
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      "xfmgCommentsPerPage" => "10"
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      "xfmgLightboxNavigation" => "1"
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      "xfrmResourceCurrencies" => """
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      "xfrmResourceDeleteThreadAction" => array:4 [ …4]
      "xfrmResourceExtensions" => """
        zip\n
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        pdf\n
        png\n
        jpg\n
        jpeg\n
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        gif\n
        psd\n
        tif
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      "xfrmResourceMaxFileSize" => "2048"
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Maybe you had to be there- otherwise (now) funny stories you were able to witness

LuckyDuck

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  • Nov 4, 2020
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    Haven't seen this topic explored yet and figured that the Bear Pit is the only one that made sense for the question so here it goes- does anyone else have any outrageous stories (don't need to dox anyone in particular) they were fortunate enough to witness? I reckon I have at least a handful but I remember one of the 'shocks' of boot camp was before I showed up for BCT, I not only had never been on a plane before that point, but I also never knew that certain types of Americans existed.

    I'll try my best to start this off with a story of my own.

    My unit was mobilized to the National Training Center (NTC) in CA prior to a deployment in the Middle East (pretty standard). We went through the usual mobilization crap but when we arrived at NTC- it was January timeframe and holy smokes was it cold. We had to spend the week offloading equipment, getting the MILES equipment set up, etc etc while we froze our butts off because we later found out that the vast majority of our vehicles' heaters were inoperable.

    Anywho onto the now 'funny' part of the story. Once we got everything set up, we started going through the training scenarios and for the vast majority of that exercise, I was a dismount on the back of a Bradley listening on the headset for the crew conversation to direct the rest of our dismount team on what actions were needed.

    To set up this story- the Bradley Commander (BC) had already done 2 tours in OIF I & III and was an Army Sniper (hence why I led the conversation with this story) and at that point was a SSG. He was one of the most experienced NCO's we had and as such- in typical military fashion was assigned the more 'challenging' junior/recently enlisted Privates while still holding the 'Senior Scout' position for the platoon. So to put another way, a super experienced and professional NCO is assigned a BFV, is BC, has an excellent gunner to this day I still remember their name, but the driver is... a soldier in need of extra attention. Ok- now that the stage is set..

    So we're doing our maneuvers in the BFV and I'm in the back as a dismount monitoring all communication and it's the typical- "Private X", go to the right.... and the vehicle banks violently to the left... of course this is followed by a rather impressive string of obscenities by the BC along the lines of "Right, Right goddammit!", which of course is countered by the driver with another violent shift to the other direction. This was usually followed with yet another string of expletives from the BC that essentially translated to "Jesus Christ Private X, you're going to kill me some day". And this went on day after day for over a week.

    So one thing to understand with NTC- you have to understand we didn't simulate things and if the MILES gear said your vehicle/crew was destroyed you actually got MEDEVACed out of the site and from what I remember there was something like a 'playing card system' in place on whether you returned back to your unit. Well at some point during this 'experience' I remember the squared away gunner walking off the BFV and stepping on the open hatch of the driver that PVT X was operating and if memory serves me correctly , the armored hatch slammed shut and broke PVT X's Arm. Well they patched him up and he went back to operating the BFV with one arm while we were there.

    So here we get to the crux of the story- the BC ended up having a cardiovascular medical emergency a couple of days afterwards and I can still to this day vividly remember him being strapped down to a litter (think ratchet strapped) to be loaded onto the chopper and the whole time him yelling something along the lines of "I told you so PVT X! I told you that you'd be the death of me!" etc. etc. all while he was being loaded onto the Blackhawk for a very real Medevac.

    Anyway, as the title suggests, maybe you'd have to be there to appreciate the story but perhaps some folks here can relate and appreciate it. The BC did recover well enough for the Army to deem fit to participate into deploying a 3rd time with us but without getting into too specific of details- that was his last free trip to the Middle East (at least per the compliments of our favorite uncle).

    Anyone else have similar stories?

    -LD
     
    Last edited:
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    To protect the innocent- we will call him one lung Bob.
    Fellow used to work for us - he’d had a rough life , was hard as a piece of iron. Nicest guy- one time his house burned down and he still showed up to work in the morning, but asked to leave early because he had to go buy his niece new catchers equipment cause it was in his garage .
    He only had one lung as the name would imply - took a 20 gague slug to chest as a young man .

    Anyhow one time we were working in a steel building - he was up on a ladder working on a sky light , Lighting struck the building and the power went out - he came down from the ladder and his long hair was standing straight up and he had a funny color to his skin.

    Holy fuck are you alright I asked .
    He said in a very quiet voice “yeah but I want to go home “
    I said ya sure just sit down for a minute and let’s make sure you’re alright.
    “I’m fine” he said “I just need to go home because I think I pissed myself “ he had in fact done so . He refused to go to the doctor, wasn’t nervous or shook up just wanted to go home . He was back at work 0700 the next day.
    I’ll never forget how loud the strike and how bright the strike was or how calm he was afterward.
    Now it’s funny as hell - his only concern was that he’s pissed himself .
     
    I'll play...

    (Allegedly) My Marine unit was in the field for the final night of a long set of reviews and evaluations. Being the last night, the only thing our infantry company had to finish was to "repel an enemy assault" of our company defensive position.

    It was zero dark thirty and I was awake along with the other squad leaders anf PLT sergeant. (A group of bored Marines, at night, with tons of blanks, pyro, flairs and the last night in the bush... what could go wrong?)

    So our group starts "stumbling" around in the dark, right through the CP, waking up all the officers and that "fun" was short lived.

    Back at our platoon AO, the boredom fits our little band of NCOs. The plt sgt asked if I had illum rounds for the M203, which I did. We also found out that we had blanks for the M60s.

    The plan was devised... now we part and wait five minutes to fire the illum round...

    "FUMP" goes the M203 "ghost" round. It pops in the air. The entire platoon of M60s start talking. The entire company perimeter unleashes against the "attack"...

    10 minutes of fire finally goes quiet. The CO barks down asking who had fired the illum round. I answered that I had fired it. He politely (NOT) asked why... "because I thought I saw movement in the wire and didn't want to 'fail' SIR...
     
    Another one that popped into memory-

    A lifetime ago- our Troop was in-between Tops and the 11C Platoon SGT was acting who previously had been a DS. Some of you might suspect where this is going and you'd be correct. A couple of days into this assignment the acting Top decided to pull an impromptu barracks inspection so we were all standing in the hallway at parade rest.

    At the far end of the hallway from where I was standing (next to the one stairwell) was the floor's laundry room. Whelp- that's where the inspection started and what I remember of the laundry room was a beautiful litany of profanities for whatever reason that would have caused a sailor to blush. Afterwards, the inspection moved closer to the room I occupied and the acting Top was inspecting another a room used by 11C's. And holy smokes- to this day I still remember what transpired after something along the lines of "JESUS CHRIST! You left a floater!?!?" Suffice to say comedy ensued as both soldiers were called into the room to explain the "floater" while the rest of us stood in the hall at parade rest trying to keep a straight face.

    Whelp- the story isn't done just yet. After the acting Top completed his inspection of the barracks floor we had a 'heart to heart' discussion with him while he tried to instill some worldly advice against us lowly lower enlisted chaps slumming it in the barracks. At one point- he decided to share some wisdom about avoiding the proverbial "barracks whores". Without skipping a beat- one of the folks there said "But 1SG, I just married one!".

    Sure enough- he actually did. Just a week or so prior he had a courthouse wedding with a previous 'BH' who I guess after sampling the goods for awhile decided she liked what she saw and enlisted in the AF and we used to ride together to Mississippi as she was there for tech school (? I think that's what the AF calls it at least) in Biloxi/Kessler AFB so he could have 'visits' with her prior to this whole story that I'm sharing.

    You can't make this stuff up, sometimes truth is actually stranger than fiction.

    -LD
     
    Was TDY to ADAK doing a team recon for pushing A-10a out further in Alaska from our base at Eielson. The LCDR who was our escort met us for breakfast, where I was bitching about the quarters.

    He said, “Lt, I heard you air force guys like sleeping close.” And smiled.

    I replied, “Really? I heard

    “In the Navy, you can sleep with other men,
    “In the Navy, you be Barbie, he’ll be Ken!”

    He dove across the table and grabbed me by the neck, cussing up a story. Our LTC had to break it up.

    Two days later, waiting for a ride to Shemya, the LCDR drives up in a staff car and hands a letter to the LTC, “For your Lt.”

    The old man opens it and laughs, saying “can’t wait for the Wing Commander to see this.”

    Hands it to me and it’s a letter from the NAS Adak commanding officer, addressed to me.

    After formalities it concludes:

    “Lieutenant Walter,

    “You are hereby disinvited to return to NAS Adak for the duration of your natural life.”

    I still have it somewhere.
     
    Another one that popped into memory-

    A lifetime ago- our Troop was in-between Tops and the 11C Platoon SGT was acting who previously had been a DS. Some of you might suspect where this is going and you'd be correct. A couple of days into this assignment the acting Top decided to pull an impromptu barracks inspection so we were all standing in the hallway at parade rest.

    At the far end of the hallway from where I was standing (next to the one stairwell) was the floor's laundry room. Whelp- that's where the inspection started and what I remember of the laundry room was a beautiful litany of profanities for whatever reason that would have caused a sailor to blush. Afterwards, the inspection moved closer to the room I occupied and the acting Top was inspecting another a room used by 11C's. And holy smokes- to this day I still remember what transpired after something along the lines of "JESUS CHRIST! You left a floater!?!?" Suffice to say comedy ensued as both soldiers were called into the room to explain the "floater" while the rest of us stood in the hall at parade rest trying to keep a straight face.

    Whelp- the story isn't done just yet. After the acting Top completed his inspection of the barracks floor we had a 'heart to heart' discussion with him while he tried to instill some worldly advice against us lowly lower enlisted chaps slumming it in the barracks. At one point- he decided to share some wisdom about avoiding the proverbial "barracks whores". Without skipping a beat- one of the folks there said "But 1SG, I just married one!".

    Sure enough- he actually did. Just a week or so prior he had a courthouse wedding with a previous 'BH' who I guess after sampling the goods for awhile decided she liked what she saw and enlisted in the AF and we used to ride together to Mississippi as she was there for tech school (? I think that's what the AF calls it at least) in Biloxi/Kessler AFB so he could have 'visits' with her prior to this whole story that I'm sharing.

    You can't make this stuff up, sometimes truth is actually stranger than fiction.

    -LD

    TLYLMWYSWTAAATYKOWTBS
     
    Not military but funny, just the same.

    My step-grandfather got me in the habit of speaking words while belching or sneezing. Sometimes, I would use different words.

    One time, I was at the top of an extension ladder in what is now the PetSmart in McKinney, Texas at Hwy 380 and US 75.

    I was pushing wire through some EMT to one of the j-boxes for the rooftop A/C units. I had a sneeze coming on. As I blasted, I said "Asshole!" through my sneeze. My supervisor (project superintendent) was walking across the floor at that moment.

    Under my breath, I said, "Don't look, people will think that is your name."

    He looked.

    I caught up with him later. He just thought I was mad at someone. Nope, I was just being an asshole, myself. Born to it, early tutelage from my step-grandfather, graduate study under the grand master Lee, who signed my asshole certificate.
     
    Did you get to use their chow hall.
    Chicks EVERYWHERE, and they all wanted Marine dick
    Nope. We needed to get off the base before the flyboy po po showed up. A few days later NIS was holding interviews to find out who was at Blytheville. No one knew anything. Scuttlebutt was some of the hosts were in bad shape after we left and some property was damaged. NAS Millington was a fairly good place for a short TAD.
     
    One of our favorite rivers that we live very close to is on the wild and scenic list. It's clean. My family and friends are on a raft float with us and we pull up to a rock we usually jump off of and swim around. About 40 feet away there was another Rock with another group on it and their dog.
    The dog shits on the rock right at the owners feet. I tell the man who is about 10 years older than me, "hey if one of my kids took a shit by my foot I'd splash it off with river water". He declines and gets his group into their boat and starts to take off down stream.
    I dive in swimming the 40' under water and porpoise out of the water onto the rock grabbing the dog turd mid air. Landing on the rock I planted my feet and spiraled the perfectly intact dog turd through the air. At max ORD I looked at the man in the eyes and nodded. He was shocked and stunned as the scene unfolded. Time slowed down. The turd connected with his chest and splattered.
    No one could believe it.
     
    Had a fellow that was a heavy dipper, if I remember right Copenhagen Snuff was his brand of choice. Either way with this story he had a lip full and remarkably fell asleep with it still in his jaw (us lowlifes used to use it as a last resort to stay awake). Well he also snored something fierce and during one of his boisterous inhales he ended up sucking in what must have been a rather large portion of which and ended up choking himself awake in the most ridiculous manner.

    After several minutes of this hacking and choking he seemed to be completely awake sitting up in his cot. But nope- after all that song and dance once clarity (seemingly) kicked in and he was breathing properly, he just opened his can, refilled his lip with the dip and within a minute was passed out again snoring with a freshly packed lip. I was with a group that watched this whole thing unfold and...refold(?) over the course of 5 minutes or so and were just dumbfounded with what we witnessed.

    -LD
     
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    Last story for now-

    I've always been more of a pub type of person rather than a club type, perhaps it's due to my introverted preferences. So one night I was bored and all of my buddies at the time were otherwise occupied with one thing or another. Wanting to get out of the barracks I ended up at a local Irish pub to enjoy some Guinness alone and enjoy the night's performers.

    So I'm sitting alone at a table watching the live music and the table next to me is a trio with one dude and two ladies at their table. Nothing necessarily weird there. As the night progressed, they started hollering at me asking why was I alone and that I should join them. I acquiesced and found myself at their table now.

    It became clear that the guy and one of the girls were a couple and the other girl was a friend. Turns out the friend had some recent medical challenges and the other couple took her out there to take her mind off of such. Their friend was reasonably attractive and somewhat interesting to converse with- I still remember to this day that she was wearing a hat resembling the below image.

    1714542335418.png


    In such settings when the other fella's lady friend had to use the restroom, they both went. Once they both left the table we were occupying, the guy switched to a really odd "swinger-type" of tone telling me that their friend was having a rough time and just needed to get laid and that she'd be the easiest lay I'd ever pursue. It was super awkward to me at the time but like I said, she was fairly attractive and looked a lot like the above image and I didn't have anything else going on so I can't say that I wasn't interested either.

    So both ladies come back and another flag got raised as they were doing shots called 'snakebites'. Apparently that term can vary rather wildly on what a snakebite is from one location to another but in this particular case I remember it involved tequila. Why do I remember it? Whelp the other flag that got raised was when they were making the shots, the bottle of tequila ran out and whatever brand it was actually had a worm in the bottle and the bartender offered it to the group. And yep- this girl was all for it and made a big production in front of me about having the worm.

    Not going to lie- that was a bit of a wtf moment but at the same time I remember thinking if this girl can swallow a literal worm- what else is she willing to do? So I'm both shocked and also interested into seeing this further. Eventually we had to part ways and me & the friend exchanged numbers with me saying I'd call her the next week to go on a date. As a man of my word that's exactly what I did.

    So about a week later we had arranged a date and I picked her up at her place (just the two of us) and took her to dinner somewhere like Caraba's or whatever. I noticed that she's still wearing the same style hat but didn't say anything. Well while we were eating dinner, I came to find out that the medical issue that was alluded to at the pub was that she recently went through a procedure that quite literally drilled a hole in her head I shit you not. Time has a knack for making the details fuzzy but I seem to recall that the procedure had something to do with treating epilepsy.

    So now I have this girl at the table spilling her life's story out to me on a first/second date and clearly wants the night to end with some type of primal sex to take her mind off of the things she had been saying she was going through and all I can think about is this hole in her head that she told me about and was hiding whatever patch/gauze thing under the hat she kept wearing.

    Well long story short- I just couldn't do it and opted the route of being a gentleman and taking her back home after dinner and let me tell you, she was NOT happy with that move but that's what I did. I even walked her to the door of her parent's house and wished her a good night and I never did hear from her again.

    -LD
     
    I noticed that she's still wearing the same style hat but didn't say anything. Well while we were eating dinner, I came to find out that the medical issue that was alluded to at the pub was that she recently went through a procedure that quite literally drilled a hole in her head I shit you not. Time has a knack for making the details fuzzy but I seem to recall that the procedure had something to do with treating epilepsy.

    So now I have this girl at the table spilling her life's story out to me on a first/second date and clearly wants the night to end with some type of primal sex to take her mind off of the things she had been saying she was going through and all I can think about is this hole in her head that she told me about and was hiding whatever patch/gauze thing under the hat she kept wearing.

    Well long story short- I just couldn't do it and opted the route of being a gentleman and taking her back home after dinner and let me tell you, she was NOT happy with that move but that's what I did. I even walked her to the door of her parent's house and wished her a good night and I never did hear from her again.

    -LD
    I'd have skull fucked her.
     
    Last edited:
    I'd have skull fucked her.
    Hah well your stones are clearly larger than what I was packing at the time. I laugh about it now but still remember the self imposed moral/ethical dilemma during dinner. I'd be lying if I said otherwise that I also wasn't concerned that her condition at the moment would open things up for rape charges if we progressed further due to her mental state and being petty- I was also a bit afraid that her head would 'leak' onto my sheets if we went any further. I'm sure that another young chap was able to step up and assist her with what she was seeking but I just couldn't do it myself for a myriad of reasons.

    -LD
     
    When I was going through hell week we had just finished a jump and a follow on mission. We got back to our patrol base and entered the "classroom". This was an open pavillion in the woods and you had to clear the blanks out of your weapon before entering. If you failed to do this and the instructors caught you you would be issued 500 4 count push-ups and and alternate weapon weighing 50 lbs with paracord for a sling.

    We enter the pavilion that night and the instructors line us up and decide to check our weapons status by having everyone point their rifles in the air and pull the trigger on command.

    Now by this point we are all sleep deprived as hell and kinda loopy. My good friend, who is now in a Tier 1 unit, was a few people down from me when we lined up. When we all pull our triggers his goes off with a nice bang. He obviously forgot to unload and there was an instructor standing right in front of him, too. I'll never forget watching him all of a sudden start doing a damn good Jerry Miculek impersonation just cranking off blanks into the air. I mean he REALLY went for it and just started sending them. The instructor looses his mind and starts shouting, "Cease fire! Cease fire! What the FUCK do you think you are doing?"

    My buddy was so sleep deprived he had no answer and they just gave him an alternate weapon and 500 push-ups.


    I still laugh thinking about it. I'll probably never forget that scene in the dark until the day I die.
     
    When I was going through hell week we had just finished a jump and a follow on mission. We got back to our patrol base and entered the "classroom". This was an open pavillion in the woods and you had to clear the blanks out of your weapon before entering. If you failed to do this and the instructors caught you you would be issued 500 4 count push-ups and and alternate weapon weighing 50 lbs with paracord for a sling.

    We enter the pavilion that night and the instructors line us up and decide to check our weapons status by having everyone point their rifles in the air and pull the trigger on command.

    Now by this point we are all sleep deprived as hell and kinda loopy. My good friend, who is now in a Tier 1 unit, was a few people down from me when we lined up. When we all pull our triggers his goes off with a nice bang. He obviously forgot to unload and there was an instructor standing right in front of him, too. I'll never forget watching him all of a sudden start doing a damn good Jerry Miculek impersonation just cranking off blanks into the air. I mean he REALLY went for it and just started sending them. The instructor looses his mind and starts shouting, "Cease fire! Cease fire! What the FUCK do you think you are doing?"

    My buddy was so sleep deprived he had no answer and they just gave him an alternate weapon and 500 push-ups.


    I still laugh thinking about it. I'll probably never forget that scene in the dark until the day I die.
    Oh that's great. Makes me remember threats being issued about ND's resulting in an Article 15 (no excuses allowed!)/loss of rank up until the CO had his own ND in front of most of the Troop and then the narrative instantly changed to "it's nothing to be excited about", he was just tired and a recipient of an unfortunate chain of events...

    I still remember the event, I still remember the folks that were essentially crucified previously, and I also remember how the 'rules' changed once the same action was publicly done by the commissioned officers.

    Funny how that works I guess.

    -LD
     
    New day, new story I guess.

    I'll preface this particular story, as what later became known as the 'trifecta', with a full disclosure that it'd require somebody to possess a bit of dark humor to appreciate. With that said, here we go.

    Once upon a time- there was a gentleman's club not too far from us and it was seedy as hell. It even had one of those ridiculous names such as 'the catwalk' or something along those lines. This is not a location that any self-respecting person would find themselves or take a friend to but for the buddies I hung out with- the place was dirt cheap, there was tits, and we were all poors so there's that.

    So there we were at this establishment and we notice that the dancer that came on stage has some unique qualities. Yep- she was absolutely pregnant. As the 'show' continued, we all began to notice her c-section scar... we were completely mesmerized by this dancer by this point because it was such an odd combination.

    So she's naked now and right in the middle of the last hurrah- she just sits and has a complete breakdown and bawls her eyes out. The crew I was with of course showed no signs of sympathy towards the lady but rather lost their collective minds over how this dancer progressed after already capturing their attention. Here we had a very pregnant, clearly scared, and now crying stripper in front of us and it was just surreal to us.

    So there ya go Hide, that's the 'trifecta' story I have.

    -LD
     
    So there I was entering the hooch on the wrong side of the tracks and there was a group of folks playing spades so at least 4 of them there. Well PVT 'Bobo' was also a heavy dipper and next to him was a Gatorade bottle he spit into and the other one was his actual drink. I must have had a rare moment with nothing to do that I was watching this group play card games.

    Well not such a spectacular surprise but PVT 'Bobo' mixed his two gatorade bottles up and took a healthy swig from the spit bottle and he instantly turned green in his face and was out puking his guts out in short order which the rest of us, being as supportive as we could be, found this to be absolutely hilarious and were dying from laughter at his misfortunate error while he was outside making his entrails his extrails.

    PVT 'Bobo' also had another less than hygienic habit in which he would regularly use said gatorade bottles as his piss bottles. That much I can forgive within reason but it reached the point of absurdity because for whatever reason, he never disposed of the contents of said piss bottles and had quite the collection accumulated under his bunk.

    An inspection was conducted, the bottles were discovered and PVT 'Bobo' found himself promoted to the rank of PLT SGT and was ordered to stand guard of his formation of piss bottles for quite some time. If memory serves me- he had at least a platoon of 40 all dress right dress behind him. It was quite the spectacle.

    -LD
     
    So there I was entering the hooch on the wrong side of the tracks and there was a group of folks playing spades so at least 4 of them there. Well PVT 'Bobo' was also a heavy dipper and next to him was a Gatorade bottle he spit into and the other one was his actual drink. I must have had a rare moment with nothing to do that I was watching this group play card games.

    Well not such a spectacular surprise but PVT 'Bobo' mixed his two gatorade bottles up and took a healthy swig from the spit bottle and he instantly turned green in his face and was out puking his guts out in short order which the rest of us, being as supportive as we could be, found this to be absolutely hilarious and were dying from laughter at his misfortunate error while he was outside making his entrails his extrails.

    PVT 'Bobo' also had another less than hygienic habit in which he would regularly use said gatorade bottles as his piss bottles. That much I can forgive within reason but it reached the point of absurdity because for whatever reason, he never disposed of the contents of said piss bottles and had quite the collection accumulated under his bunk.

    An inspection was conducted, the bottles were discovered and PVT 'Bobo' found himself promoted to the rank of PLT SGT and was ordered to stand guard of his formation of piss bottles for quite some time. If memory serves me- he had at least a platoon of 40 all dress right dress behind him. It was quite the spectacle.

    -LD
    "Urine the Army now. You're not behind the plow.
    You'll never get rich
    You son of a bitch.
    Urine the Army now."
     
    I remember being down at a pond we all used swim at when we were kids. They're were 4 of us there. Kirk, Dominic, Rory and myself. We were all in the water up to our chests. Rory takes a giant shit and grabs ahold of it in his left hand . He then reaches over and grabs Dominic by the hair and dunks him underwater. When Dominic comes up gasping for air, Rory takes the shit and jams it in Dominic's mouth and dunks him back under water. This time when Dominic pops up the shit is gone but he's got it all over his mouth. Dominic looks at us with grimace on his face and says, oh man that taste like shit. Well no kidding Dom it was shit. Good times.
     
    Meh.
    The funny thing is that the fuckstain thinks his words have meaning.
    Cracks me up every time.
    He's (she's ?) so easily manipulated into whatever response you want to get from him (her?).
    You can hear it going wahhhh if you listen close.
     
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    Took a friend to Vegas for his birthday. Got a limo for the evening‘s festivities which included plenty of drinking and a pile of cocaine (it was the 80s after all). The driver was a stunning blonde with just the slightest hint of crazy that made her intriguing at that point in our young lives. After a while she was imbibing as well and, in the blur of the early morning hours, we found ourselves at a wedding chapel as the birthday boy married the limo driver.

    The annulment was done a few weeks later…
     
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    Took a friend to Vegas for his birthday. Got a limo for the evening‘s festivities which included plenty of drinking and a pile of cocaine (it was the 80s after all). The driver was a stunning blonde with just the slightest hint of crazy that made her intriguing at that point in our young lives. After a while she was imbibing as well and, in the blur of the early morning hours, we found ourselves at a wedding chapel as the birthday boy married the limo driver.

    The annulment was done a few weeks later…
    Didn't they make a movie about this.............
     
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    One time, we were working on a new building at a catholic school and this one guy on the crew liked to prank others, including spilling a soda or water on people.

    So, one of the other guys took the time to play ninja and secure some tie wraps (some call them zip ties) around the driveshaft of his truck.

    At the end of the day, he was always one of the first out and leaving. While some of us were still packing up our tools, he was already driving through the parking lot.

    Whack-whack-whack-whack-whack-whack....

    He stopped and looked underneath and saw what had been done. So, he got a pair of dykes and cut it loose. And then looked up at us still in the building, boiling red mad and ready to kick everyone's ass. But he left. However, that was just entertainment to see a meltdown like that.

    Payback is a bitch.
     
    So back in 2018 I was in Seattle for a work trip and a group of us decided to walk around town. Nothing too unexpected but before long we came across a group of college aged folks protesting... get this, plastics. Nothing particular about plastics such as the way they're manufactured, the way they're used, just in general plastics. Of course it did not escape our attention that the majority were wearing fleece jackets, yoga pants and wearing beanies (it was Seattle after all) made out of acrylic fibers among other things. Some of them also were holding tablets computers with whatever material they wanted to present, and yep- plastic housings. It was... typical I'd say.

    Same day, my supervisor at the time and I noticed an economically disadvantaged resident of the city and she said to me that she thought he was urinating on a water fountain, I said I don't think he's wearing any pants or garments for that matter below the waist- whelp turns out we were both right.

    -LD
     
    Another work trip that came to mind, this time circa 2018-2019 in San Diego.

    I don't recall the name of the hotel I was staying at that week but it was right on the water and across from a Ruth's Chris Steakhouse and if memory serves me right, just a bit south of Old Town. There was also an old Navy ship nearby and a little village of sorts that had touristy shops a bit further south which had some of the best tacos I had in my life.

    Anyway, my room was facing the ocean and they had something resembling a boardwalk like you'd see on the east coast but this was concrete/paved from what I remember. I also seem to remember small shops selling whatever along the path similar to the kiosks you might find in a mall. Well each day I would have to walk about a mile or whatever to a convention center to attend the day's requirements that I was sent to San Diego for.

    Along that path, there was a... economically disadvantaged man that seemed to set up a bit of a small encampment there. At first I thought he had either a severe substance abuse problem or the worst case of Tourettes I'd personally seen up to that point because he seemed to think his responsibility camped out there was to yell all sorts of obscenities all day long to everyone who passed (and this was a busy pathway too).

    I believe I was there for 10 days total but after the jet lag wore off, I began to notice that not only did this fella take his spot and 'job' seriously as he never moved, he also... and I can't find any other way to explain this, but would sit there and masturbate "furiously" as he screamed these obscenities to people (primarily women).

    And so it went for the entirety of my stay- no deviation whatsoever but as shocking as that was to me- I found it equally puzzling how nonchalant/indifferent everyone was to this behavior which made me feel crazy that I was the only one that seemed to take issue that we have a homeless guy beating his dick raw day in and day out screaming at people all day long and nobody cared, it mid as well have been an art sculpture that'd been there 80 years for the lack of interest shown. And this is just across from the Ruth's Chris Steakhouse there... nobody seemed to care or notice.

    Well as the thread title suggests- maybe you had to be there but it just blew my mind and I've never seen such behavior or indifference before or since then. Meanwhile- the #MeToo and all the other crimes are pursued with indecent exposure can and will be enforced against you and the victimized women (from seeing a penis) will cry foul when convenient I guess but for the tallywacker beating his meat and screaming at them each time they pass them to and from work, it somehow has the magical powers of not offending, scarring, or traumatizing them.

    I know that's the stronghold of 'the land of fruits and nuts' but years later I still am baffled by this experience.

    -LD
     
    Man I've got quite a few experiences with some unbelievable shit. Some funny, some not so much.

    I'll throw one of the WTF just happened ones out there for you all.

    I'm a recently retired cop from a pretty violent area. I was a SWAT Operator, K9 Handler/Trainer, FTO and a bunch of other crap... But by FAR, some of the wackiest nonsense imaginable occurred during regular road patrol answering "routine" calls for service.

    I go to a domestic disturbance at one of the housing projects. I walk in the door and there's the standard female in the bedroom crying going on. I ask what happened and noticed she was sporting a pretty decent shiner under her eye. She said she got into an argument with her boyfriend and he hit her.

    She goes on to say that she suspected her man of cheating on her with another man because his sexual proclivities had recently evolved into him wanting her to put dildos up his ass. She went on to say that when she brought up her suspicions to him during an intimate moment prior to calling the police, he became enraged and hit her. She was pretty distraught, hysterical, the whole nine yards while telling me what happened.

    So... she reaches down next to the bed and pulls out a foot long rubber schlong and said he hit her in the face with it. As she's telling me this, she's frantically waving it at me and it's flopping around like a slinky. She then proceeds to slam it against the wall out of anger and the damned thing attaches itself. Apparently it had a suction cup on the bottom. So there's this crying lady with a dildo induced shiner and the weapon stuck to the wall staring me right in the face.

    She continues with the hysterics and now that she has an object to vent her frustrations upon, starts whacking the damned thing between every other word she's yelling at me. She had a cadence going on and apparently achieved the resonant frequency of the dildo on the wall because now it's helicoptering in circles.

    And yes, I had to bag it as evidence. The body cam footage was spectacular though and sparked off the usage of the letter "P" over the radio and during conversations for weeks afterwards...

    Things like: Perhaps it's possible that prior to the perpetrator producing the prosthetic penis, the prostitute provoked the problem.
     
    Not a great story but a story nevertheless- 20 years or so ago I found myself on a college campus and made the egregious mistake of holding the door to the building for the person just several feet behind me. Well lo and behold, I inadvertently committed a mortal sin and that individual read me the the riot act of how chauvinistic I was by holding the door open for a strong and independent woman such as she was.

    Looking back- this was likely one of my first major experiences with an absolute fruitcake. Whelp- a month or so passed and I found myself in yet the same situation and obviously recognized this social martyr being behind me once again so learning from my past mistakes, I didn't make any effort to keep the door open and our young justice warrior proceeded to walk right into the door popping her nose in the process and lord help me but I couldn't stop from feeling incredibly satisfied from that outcome. I recall having a fantastic day moving forward.

    -LD