Merry Christmas divorce!

[Remybarrelburner]

Been going through this divorce now sense June, been trying to get everything separated sense then. She’s my sons step mom, so at least no kids with her. She’s even been staying at my at my house off and on when she’s not at her Boyfriends place. Well family didn’t want her at our Christmas Eve did so after when I get home she shows up at my house raising all hell! Now a lil back story, when I bought my last truck we were engaged found out we could get a better ir if it was in her name well I trusted her sadly and never changed it kind of forgot about that and she let me! Well she shows up Christmas Eve raising hell. I lost it told her get your shit and get the fuck out. Your a step mom why am I entertaining this bullshit! She says fine, grabs my trucks key and goes to leave. Well of course I’m like what the fuck you think your doing? Nope blah blah blah she calls the sheriffs saying it hit her. I didn’t, lucky for me I knew both the sheriffs that showed up, so I didn’t go to jail over shit I didn’t do but she took my truck. Literally the only transportation I had. She sold my car which I bought for her awhile ago and I was fine with it and her dad gave her a spare car. So she left his car and no keys and took my truck. And the sheriffs couldn’t do shit about it cuz it was in her name. Worst part is after it’s all said and done I come in side to check and make sure my son is still asleep and didn’t hear to much of this bullshit, he’s kind of awake and asks “dad did kirsti take our truck, -yeah buddy she did but it’s ok” then he says “ did you take out my presents before she left ?” “ yeah I did buddy don’t worry” “dad take my $50 I got from grandma and you use it to get a new truck?” I lost it right there idk how I got him back to sleep but I had a mental breakdown on the floor of his room. Until my girlfriend called me 10 times and snapped me out of it.
Part of this was just needing to get this shit out before it kills me, other part looking for advice other than do what your lawyer says to do.
Cheers brothers nothing like the holidays

 

[The D]

My wife and I are really boring and our families aren’t much more dramatic so, eh, I got nothing that will help. Sorry you’re going through this. Have a beer to help you relax, but not so many that you do something stupid. Good luck

 

[david walter]

If you've been paying for the truck out of joint checking, its both of yours no mater how its titled.

If you bought it with cash and its in her name, a good attorney can get it back under the divorce decree.

Divorce is one instance where good attorneys are worth whatever you pay them, Get a good attorney.

Ask me how I know.

 

[Trigger Monkey]

I feel like an E-7 listening to one of his E-3's explain why he's been consistently late to formation and is always broke.

 

[37L1]

Dude!

People can be so cruel and at such inappropriate times. . . been there, seen it.

The best advice I can give you is try to forget it, move on. You are starting a new life, make the most of it and don't let the baggage, hurt and anger take that away from you. I know easy to say, hard to do, but the sooner the better.

About your truck: You'll spend more on a lawyer to try and get it back then to go out and get another one.

But if you want to and keep the wound fresh, by all means. . .

 

[BufordTJustice]

this is how divorce works...you work your ass off, then give away half your stuff after paying an ungodly sum to attorneys. Hang in there!

 

[Remybarrelburner]

Down payment and all the payments have been out of my account that’s not joint. I’m betting she sells it today but it was almost paid off so I want all that money back

 

[BufordTJustice]

Down payment and all the payments have been out of my account that’s not joint. I’m betting she sells it today but it was almost paid off so I want all that money back

if she sells anything during the divorce you'll get something...? it'll cost you, but a good attorney will get you some back.

 

[Remybarrelburner]

I feel like an E-7 listening to one of his E-3's explain why he's been consistently late to formation and is always broke.

@Nomad909

 

[diverdon]

Get your shit together. You put the truck in her name. It's not your truck it's her truck. If you want it talk to a lawyer, not a bunch of idiots you met on the internet. Best you can hope for is she don't want the payments so she signs it over. The worst-case judge forces you to keep making payments on her truck.

Good luck. Moving forward, the truck is not important. Your son is important. Keep this in mind each time she goes for your buttons.

If you are going to get through this you may have to sacrifice your pride. Make sure you keep your self respect. Do not go cheap on your lawyer.

 

[Jscb1b]

Prayers.

 

[BufordTJustice]

Get your shit together. You put the truck in her name. It's not your truck it's her truck. If you want it talk to a lawyer, not a bunch of idiots you met on the internet. Best you can hope for is she don't want the payments so she signs it over. The worst-case judge forces you to keep making payments on her truck.

Good luck. Moving forward, the truck is not important. Your son is important. Keep this in mind each time she goes for your buttons.

If you are going to get through this you may have to sacrifice your pride. Make sure you keep your self respect. Do not go cheap on your lawyer.

I take exception to this^^^^ please refer to the "never date a schoolteacher who does amateur porn" topic...lots of valuable insight here in the pit!

 

[myronman3]

the first thing you need to do is own your part in this.

getting a divorce, but still co-habitating? that’s got disaster written all over it. and putting the truck in her name while you paid for it? that’s on you. i call that “stupid tax”. i could go on with the decisions you’ve made that are going to continue to blow up in your face, but you’d just get mad at me.

start making better decisions. which means stop talking to her, allowing her in your living space, and everything else that you know you shouldnt be doing, but made excuses/exceptions for anyway.

dont sweat the truck or any of that other stuff. worry about your kid, and YOU making the correct decisions from here on out. it’s a volatile situation and people end up dead every day because of it. speaking of which, has chad been moved off the porch yet?

make good decisions, focus on your kid, dont sweat the small stuff (and it is ALL small stuff) and take one day at a time. and if you dont know what a good decision is, ask yourself “would the pit light me up if i did this?”- if the answer is yes, then you know not to do it.

 

[diverdon]

I take exception to this^^^^ please refer to the "never date a schoolteacher who does amateur porn" topic...lots of valuable insight here in the pit!

You are comparing apples to sharks.

 

[Remybarrelburner]

Get your shit together. You put the truck in her name. It's not your truck it's her truck. If you want it talk to a lawyer, not a bunch of idiots you met on the internet. Best you can hope for is she don't want the payments so she signs it over. The worst-case judge forces you to keep making payments on her truck.

Good luck. Moving forward, the truck is not important. Your son is important. Keep this in mind each time she goes for your buttons.

If you are going to get through this you may have to sacrifice your pride. Make sure you keep your self respect. Do not go cheap on your lawyer.

Yeah no your totally right huge fuck up on my part

 

[Remybarrelburner]

the first thing you need to do is own your part in this.

getting a divorce, but still co-habitating? that’s got disaster written all over it. and putting the truck in her name while you paid for it? that’s on you. i call that “stupid tax”. i could go on with the decisions you’ve made that are going to continue to blow up in your face, but you’d just get mad at me.

start making better decisions. which means stop talking to her, allowing her in your living space, and everything else that you know you shouldnt be doing, but made excuses/exceptions for anyway.

dont sweat the truck or any of that other stuff. worry about your kid, and YOU making the correct decisions from here on out. it’s a volatile situation and people end up dead every day because of it. speaking of which, has chad been moved off the porch yet?

make good decisions, focus on your kid, dont sweat the small stuff (and it is ALL small stuff) and take one day at a time. and if you dont know what a good decision is, ask yourself “would the pit light me up if i did this?”- if the answer is yes, then you know not to do it.

Would the pit light me up if I did this! Hahahahaha yes sir I’ll keep that at the forefront

 

[Hobo Hilton]

I have little to offer... You sound like you are young enough to simply start over.... I have been there more than once.

“Everyone you meet is a part of your journey, but not all of them are meant to stay in your life. Some people are just passing through to bring you gifts; either they're blessings or lessons.”​

― Roy T. Bennett, The Light in the Heart

 

[The D]

Would the pit light me up if I did this! Hahahahaha yes sir I’ll keep that at the forefront

The pit will light you up if you fail your son. This is coming from someone who has 3 feral little boys too. It may sting a bit but the tough love is on point

 

[Rooster931]

Never been divorced myself. After shooting one day one of the other guys in our group says he is splitting from the wife. The only currently divorced guy in our group of friends and one of the smartest people I have ever met, says " Don't worry it will cost you a bundle, Do you know why it's so expensive"? We all are waiting for a real smart answer and he says "Because its worth it".

 

[DukeGSP]

never married so obviously never been through a divorce. the only advice i can offer is the same advice i give to my nephew who's 12.... Don't chase them, replace them. the sea if full of fish, be a fucking shark.

 

[oneshot86]

Get your shit together. You put the truck in her name. It's not your truck it's her truck. If you want it talk to a lawyer, not a bunch of idiots you met on the internet. Best you can hope for is she don't want the payments so she signs it over. The worst-case judge forces you to keep making payments on her truck.

Good luck. Moving forward, the truck is not important. Your son is important. Keep this in mind each time she goes for your buttons.

If you are going to get through this you may have to sacrifice your pride. Make sure you keep your self respect. Do not go cheap on your lawyer.

Yep, truck is hers, and depending on what state you live in, and she can prove she can't afford the payments, you will pay them.
You said, going through divorce. Has it been filed yet, has the respondent signed the summons yet???

That is a very fucking important question I asked above. Again, states vary, in Florida, it is a 50, 50 split of all assets and liabilities aquired from the date of marriage to the signing of the summons for disalution of marriage.

Has the respondent signed the summons.
If not, serve her today otherwise your holiday season will get worse, she can go out and get a big fucking loan that you will be responsible for half of. Get going.

Anouther thing, which is none of my business, but here goes. You say you are going through divorce with this cunt. When she doesn't stay at her boyfriend's house she stays with you, Jesus fucking Christ dude. What the fuck is wrong with you, are you fucking stupid.

You need to call 1 800 Jerry Springer, yo

 

[Jscb1b]

People are a blessing in our lives. Some when they come into our lives and some when they leave our lives.

 

[oneshot86]

never married so obviously never been through a divorce. the only advice i can offer is the same advice i give to my nephew who's 12.... Don't chase them, replace them. the sea if full of fish, be a fucking shark.

This is the attitude homeboy needs.

Go get some strange, killer

 

[myronman3]

Would the pit light me up if I did this! Hahahahaha yes sir I’ll keep that at the forefront

keep in mind, i dont say any of what i said with any kind of malice toward you. i’ve gained my wisdom by making mistakes, a lot of them similar to the ones you did.

a smart man learns from his mistakes (me)….but a wise man, learns from other people’s mistakes… (hopefully you)

i am attaching a picture of me….circa 2005 when i was dealing with the same shit. i wish you the best.

p.s. both those boys are now young men; both in the service and outstanding people. keep your focus on what is important….your kids. and all will be fine. it’ll take some time, and it is not always going to be easy, but it will be fine.

 

[vinniedelpino]

Been going through this divorce now sense June, been trying to get everything separated sense then. She’s my sons step mom, so at least no kids with her. She’s even been staying at my at my house off and on when she’s not at her Boyfriends place. Well family didn’t want her at our Christmas Eve did so after when I get home she shows up at my house raising all hell! Now a lil back story, when I bought my last truck we were engaged found out we could get a better ir if it was in her name well I trusted her sadly and never changed it kind of forgot about that and she let me! Well she shows up Christmas Eve raising hell. I lost it told her get your shit and get the fuck out. Your a step mom why am I entertaining this bullshit! She says fine, grabs my trucks key and goes to leave. Well of course I’m like what the fuck you think your doing? Nope blah blah blah she calls the sheriffs saying it hit her. I didn’t, lucky for me I knew both the sheriffs that showed up, so I didn’t go to jail over shit I didn’t do but she took my truck. Literally the only transportation I had. She sold my car which I bought for her awhile ago and I was fine with it and her dad gave her a spare car. So she left his car and no keys and took my truck. And the sheriffs couldn’t do shit about it cuz it was in her name. Worst part is after it’s all said and done I come in side to check and make sure my son is still asleep and didn’t hear to much of this bullshit, he’s kind of awake and asks “dad did kirsti take our truck, -yeah buddy she did but it’s ok” then he says “ did you take out my presents before she left ?” “ yeah I did buddy don’t worry” “dad take my $50 I got from grandma and you use it to get a new truck?” I lost it right there idk how I got him back to sleep but I had a mental breakdown on the floor of his room. Until my girlfriend called me 10 times and snapped me out of it.
Part of this was just needing to get this shit out before it kills me, other part looking for advice other than do what your lawyer says to do.
Cheers brothers nothing like the holidays

Two years from now you'll be cruising in an even nicer truck with a smokin' hot fox riding shotgun. This is just a bump in the road.

Stay strong, brother.

 

[TexPatriot]

the first thing you need to do is own your part in this.

getting a divorce, but still co-habitating? that’s got disaster written all over it. and putting the truck in her name while you paid for it? that’s on you. i call that “stupid tax”. i could go on with the decisions you’ve made that are going to continue to blow up in your face, but you’d just get mad at me.

start making better decisions. which means stop talking to her, allowing her in your living space, and everything else that you know you shouldnt be doing, but made excuses/exceptions for anyway.

dont sweat the truck or any of that other stuff. worry about your kid, and YOU making the correct decisions from here on out. it’s a volatile situation and people end up dead every day because of it. speaking of which, has chad been moved off the porch yet?

make good decisions, focus on your kid, dont sweat the small stuff (and it is ALL small stuff) and take one day at a time. and if you dont know what a good decision is, ask yourself “would the pit light me up if i did this?”- if the answer is yes, then you know not to do it.

See if I got this straight. Your soon to be ex has a boyfriend and you have a girlfriend but the soon to be ex is staying off and on at your place? And neither of your new love interests has a problem with that? Like Judge Joe Brown says while staring at the ceiling "Alright, go ahead."

Btw, you ain't getting your truck back, at least not in the condition you last saw it. Like others have said, best to let your lawyer try and get some of your equity back.

 

[Tokay444]

Cancel the insurance and then call your sherif buddies…

 

[Seed tick]

Fuck that bitch! Move on don’t look back! Stay strong take the high road! Get a better truck

 

[D̷e̷v̷i̷l̷D̷o̷c̷A̷Z̷]

this is how divorce works...you work your ass off, then give away half your stuff after paying an ungodly sum to attorneys. Hang in there!

Like my uncle said “yeah you got divorced and lost half your shit, but that means you are half way to recovery…..some people lose everything”


I’ll tell you what you already know. You fucked up and now you are suffering the consequences. Quit letting her in, quit playing house. Don’t play house w your new GF either.


Focus on your SON and your WORK it’s literally the only stuff that matters.


Buy a replacement truck you can afford and don’t worry about impressing anyone.

Life is NOT fair. She’s got half the money, all the truck and all the pussy. Don’t make the same mistake twice.

 

[diverdon]

Going forward: after you listen to, understand, and commit to follow advice from your lawyer.

Then you should drege up the happy thoughts that you had in the beginning of the relationship. Build a wall in your soul. Never let her back in! But when you see her alone or in public you should offer a genuine smile and a kind word. (BTW: despite the above do not see her alone)

It'll do you no good to air your legitimate grievances. She'll have one to counter each of yours, even if she has to fabricate them. It's just smarter not to motivate her bitterness.

Be aware that she or her lawyer is likely looking at what you post here. Like the boxing ref says "protect yourself at ALL times.

Your son sounds like a solid young man. I think that sounds like something you have done well and can be proud of. For both his sake and your own don't cut him out now. He loves and respects you. I'm not saying dump it all on him, just keep him in the loop. His support can make you stronger, strong enough to come out the other side better. Your heartfelt and properly expressed appreciation for his support and love will shield him from damage and insecurity. After his Dad has let him know how important he is to his Dad, no one else will be able to take his selfworth.

 

[oneshot86]

Cancel the insurance and then call your sherif buddies…

The judge will take a shit on you if you do.
Don't F around, it should be business now.

 

[Tokay444]

The judge will take a shit on you if you do.
Don't F around, it should be business now.

Fuck that commie judge then.
Why would anyone continue to pay insurance on something not in their possession?

 

[oneshot86]

Going forward: after you listen to, understand, and commit to follow advice from your lawyer.

Then you should drege up the happy thoughts that you had in the beginning of the relationship. Build a wall in your soul. Never let her back in! But when you see her alone or in public you should offer a genuine smile and a kind word. (BTW: despite the above do not see her alone)

It'll do you no good to air your legitimate grievances. She'll have one to counter each of yours, even if she has to fabricate them. It's just smarter not to motivate her bitterness.

Be aware that she or her lawyer is likely looking at what you post here. Like the boxing ref says "protect yourself at ALL times.

Your son sounds like a solid young man. I think that sounds like something you have done well and can be proud of. For both his sake and your own don't cut him out now. He loves and respects you. I'm not saying dump it all on him, just keep him in the loop. His support can make you stronger, strong enough to come out the other side better. Your heartfelt and properly expressed appreciation for his support and love will shield him from damage and insecurity. After his Dad has let him know how important he is to his Dad, no one else will be able to take his selfworth.

In my opinion, these are very kind truthful words

 

[oneshot86]

Fuck that commie judge then.
Why would anyone continue to pay insurance on something not in their possession?

Don't follow this jackasses words of advise, you will be sorry

 

[Expert684]

True story: neighbor across the street went through this. Went found "their" truck and set it on fire! Cops showed up, truck was paid for, told them he wanted to burn "his half". They arrested him on a misdemeanor: setting a fire in the city limits! Bitch had to get her boyfriend to drive her around! It's funny now, but not when it was happening.
Good luck, if she won't stick by you, we will!
I know this won't help, but their are others going through worse. A local family lost three kids and the Mom is in ICU cause of a drunk driver.
Your body will follow your mind, if you can breath, think and move you still can fight. Never give up!

 

[hankpac]

This subject comes up a lot.
I have yet to see a thread of this nature start off, "I already have my lawyer working on this...".
Also, many assume that the writer is the complainant, and not the respondent. They say, "I am going through this divorce" (passive voice), when it should come out as, "I am divorcing this bitch." (active voice).
If YOU didn't file for divorce, you are playing defense and are in a position of having to play catch-up. Being the one who files puts YOU in control.
Have a lawyer, a Good one. And NO you cannot afford NOT to have a lawyer.
There is no such thing as an "amicable divorce". Assume EVERYTHING is contested. In a so-called Amicable Divorce, it only takes one thing, no matter how minor to fuck everything up.
Some states have iron clad Community Property rules. Your Attorney will know if that is the case. Sign nothing, agree to nothing, and talk to no one on the other side, unless your lawyer is present. Meet at the lawyers office, NEVER at your home. Get a Protection Decree.
Put ALL her shit on the curb. Park the car that isn't yours, on the street, and give the keys to your lawyer or the Sheriff. Don't drive it anywhere. Report it as abandoned.
Cancel Insurance, and stop making payments on it, immediately. It may be titled to her, but if YOU are the one on the loan, you may need extrication from that as well, notify the lender that she has the truck and you are no longer making payments on it. Go through your lawyer.
Take her name off of health insurance, and change beneficiary for life insurance. Also, if you have retirement you pay into you may get dinged for a percentage unless she remarries, based on how long she was married to you. Lots of little details that can screw you up later, that makes a final decree not so final.

 

[TexPatriot]

Fuck that commie judge then.
Why would anyone continue to pay insurance on something not in their possession?

I would formerly tell the ex in writing via email and send her the insurance cancellation notice by certified mail.

Otherwise, if she or her new boyfriend have an accident in your truck with no insurance and it's their fault, she will plead ignorance and blame you for being uninsured. That opens a whole new can of worms and more lawyer fees.

 

[Remybarrelburner]

Yep, truck is hers, and depending on what state you live in, and she can prove she can't afford the payments, you will pay them.
You said, going through divorce. Has it been filed yet, has the respondent signed the summons yet???

That is a very fucking important question I asked above. Again, states vary, in Florida, it is a 50, 50 split of all assets and liabilities aquired from the date of marriage to the signing of the summons for disalution of marriage.

Has the respondent signed the summons.
If not, serve her today otherwise your holiday season will get worse, she can go out and get a big fucking loan that you will be responsible for half of. Get going.

Anouther thing, which is none of my business, but here goes. You say you are going through divorce with this cunt. When she doesn't stay at her boyfriend's house she stays with you, Jesus fucking Christ dude. What the fuck is wrong with you, are you fucking stupid.

You need to call 1 800 Jerry Springer, yo

The only reason she’s staying here is to help get my son to school. Dude I haven’t shared a bed or fucked her in 2 years

 

[diverdon]

The only reason she’s staying here is to help get my son to school. Dude I haven’t shared a bed or fucked her in 2 years

If you have to leave before your son get a family member to help out.

 

[Tokay444]

I would formerly tell the ex in writing via email and send her the insurance cancellation notice by certified mail.

Otherwise, if she or her new boyfriend have an accident in your truck with no insurance and it's their fault, she will plead ignorance and blame you for being uninsured. That opens a whole new can of worms and more lawyer fees.

It’s not his truck. It’s her truck.

 

[TexPatriot]

True story: neighbor across the street went through this. Went found "their" truck and set it on fire! Cops showed up, truck was paid for, told them he wanted to burn "his half". They arrested him on a misdemeanor: setting a fire in the city limits! Bitch had to get her boyfriend to drive her around! It's funny now, but not when it was happening.
Good luck, if she won't stick by you, we will!
I know this won't help, but their are others going through worse. A local family lost three kids and the Mom is in ICU cause of a drunk driver.
Your body will follow your mind, if you can breath, think and move you still can fight. Never give up!

Your neighbor was lucky. That would be Class A or B Felony Arson in many states.

 

[TexPatriot]

It’s not his truck. It’s her truck.

Yup. But he would need a lawyer to argue that if she had an accident and injured / killed someone.

Divorce courts have nothing to do with whats fair.

 

[Hobo Hilton]

The only reason she’s staying here is to help get my son to school. Dude I haven’t shared a bed or fucked her in 2 years

That falls under "her word against your word" in court.... You will lose that argument. Establish a cut off date and document it.

 

[Jscb1b]

If you have to leave before your son get a family member to help out.

Or get a new job or a different one at the same company.

 

[hollowoutadime]

On the truck, whose name is on the loan? Don't ruin your credit if you are a cosigner and the payments aren't being made.

 

[wildcats]

She's gone and so is the truck.
You still have a car in the driveway.call the dealer ,give them the vin# and they will cut you a new set of keys.end of story.
Now the rest is water under the bridge.if you bought anything of value while your were married.she is entitled to half.,

I went trough a divorce myself ,no kids involved.
One day she walked trough the door after coming back from a trip from vegas with her mother,i sat her down and told her things are working out and i was moving on,that was 15+ years ago and no regrets.
Here is good part,next day when i left for work she put all of my personal stuff out in the garage and porch and locked me out of our house,assessed value of $700k with a million dollar view of the ocean.at the time,not including expensive furnichings.i was even paying for new SUV she was driving. frankly i didn't give a rats ass.i just wanted the dogs to have a place to live,4 lovable english bull terriers..
Gets better, she then hires the best divorce attorney in the state and theatens me .after 15 years of me putting up with her shit.
She wanted to give me a measly $40k after me paying the fucking mortgage for 8 years.lmao. i told her give $80k and you can have it all.
Won't even go into her secret off island back accounts that i found out about later ,and trying to take what i had in life insurance.
I can go on and on,but at the end of the day. it was worth it.and that was 15 years ago.

Just my 2 cents.
I got all of my firearms and kept my little repair shop.

 

[Bigfatcock]

The only advice I can give is to dump your girlfriend too.

 

[Remybarrelburner]

keep in mind, i dont say any of what i said with any kind of malice toward you. i’ve gained my wisdom by making mistakes, a lot of them similar to the ones you did.

a smart man learns from his mistakes (me)….but a wise man, learns from other people’s mistakes… (hopefully you)

i am attaching a picture of me….circa 2005 when i was dealing with the same shit. i wish you the best.

p.s. both those boys are now young men; both in the service and outstanding people. keep your focus on what is important….your kids. and all will be fine. it’ll take some time, and it is not always going to be easy, but it will be fine.
View attachment 7770176

No I know brother passing on the wisdom you learned the hard way to try to make mine better and I appreciate it

 

[Buzzinga]

The fact that you are posting here on the hide makes me think you are looking for guidance or advice. So if you are going to take advice, take it form The Man Himself...Jordan Peterson. Here is a short video of his book 12 rules or life. I've read and listened to this this book many times.

 

[tiNdvenTFHwMdqKW]

LPT: Never mix finances. If you can't agree to pay for shit between you then don't buy it or just pay for it if YOU want it and YOU have the money for it. If you don't have the money for it then you probably shouldn't be buying it.