Bet you don't even eat her ass like a gentlemanTales from Tinder :
Tale 1. I'm happy to see you've admitted you're fat. @Dirty D is on the way.
Tail 2. You're a stone-cold fox of a woman. Please, come hither and feel free to touch my hair in exchange for a glass of wine and perhaps some cunnilingus which may change your life. No Plan B for you, God has The Plan. Put "Dem shoes" on.