Maggie’s Motivational Pic Thread v2.0 - - New Rules - See Post #1
- Thread starter Snake-Eyes
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- motivational pictures
And to think that there is always someone in the military's camouflage department thinking up new patterns when nature has been setting the example for us all along.
During WWII, while on a bivouac at Ft. Hood, someone put a rattlesnake in my Father's sleeping bag. He didn't get to far into the sleeping bag before he heard the rattle.
There was only one man laughing in the group. My Father figured that he was the culprit and beat the shit out of him.
The next day they were both standing in front of the 1SG, who asked; "Why did you beat this man up?"
My Dad responded that the turd-ball put a rattlesnake in his sleeping bag.
The 1SG responded; "I would have done the same thing. Now both of you get out of my sight."
Edit: Nowadays, my Father would have been court-martialed and the other soldier counseled.
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I must be too much of a city boy it took me a few minutes to see it dam!!
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Car vs Motorcycle: It doesn’t matter how dumb or wrong the car driver is, the car always wins!
The driver can always say; "Something hit me by surprise. I was temporarily blinded and lost control of the vehicle."
A suspected Covid-19 male patient is lying in bed in the hospital, wearing an oxygen mask over his mouth and nose. A young student female nurse appears and gives him a partial sponge bath.
"Nurse," he mumbles from behind the mask, "are my testicles black?"
Embarrassed, the young nurse replies, "I don't know, Sir. I'm only here to wash your upper body and feet."
He struggles to ask again, "Nurse, please check for me. Are my testicles black?"
Concerned that he might elevate his blood pressure and heart rate from worrying about his testicles, she overcomes her embarrassment and pulls back the covers.
She raises his gown, holds his manhood in one hand and his testicles gently in the other.
She looks very closely and says, "There's nothing wrong with them, Sir. They look fine."
The man slowly pulls off his oxygen mask, smiles at her, and says very slowly, "Thank you very much. That was wonderful. Now listen very, very, closely"
"Are - my - test - results - back?"
"Nurse," he mumbles from behind the mask, "are my testicles black?"
Embarrassed, the young nurse replies, "I don't know, Sir. I'm only here to wash your upper body and feet."
He struggles to ask again, "Nurse, please check for me. Are my testicles black?"
Concerned that he might elevate his blood pressure and heart rate from worrying about his testicles, she overcomes her embarrassment and pulls back the covers.
She raises his gown, holds his manhood in one hand and his testicles gently in the other.
She looks very closely and says, "There's nothing wrong with them, Sir. They look fine."
The man slowly pulls off his oxygen mask, smiles at her, and says very slowly, "Thank you very much. That was wonderful. Now listen very, very, closely"
"Are - my - test - results - back?"
She does indeed appear quite heathy.
Where did you get one of my selfies?
BTW, my budgie-smuggler is more of a fuchsia color...
Sirhr
I asked my wife why did she marry me.
"Because you're funny'' she responded.
I said "I thought it was because I was so good in bed''
She replied "You see? You are hilarious"
"Because you're funny'' she responded.
I said "I thought it was because I was so good in bed''
She replied "You see? You are hilarious"
Once during Daytona Bike Week a Boss Hog (a V8 motorcycle) T-boned a Toyota truck and flipped it.
^^^True love right there.
Gravity is a mean bitch. That fellow was about 500 big macs too heavy for that maneuver.
I hope there was not to much of a mess to clean up.
If he hadnt hit the planter wall on the way down, would he have bounced?
Don’t know if there could be a better one...one: don’t want the gun to block my beautiful eye. Two:what’s the ugliest face I can make.
I give the millennial an 8 for effort, but a 2 on his form. After his recuperation I expect he'll try from a more challenging height.
Gotta love a good blind side. Never let the other guy know he's in a fight until it's over.
