How's my credibility if I make the inconvenient observation that many children are unplanned surprises, usually resulting in a sub-nominal household financial situations, and causing strain on their parent's relationship and level of care. Relationships that if you don't bring the state into beforehand the child is thusly considered a bastard. 40 to 50 percent of married couples in the United States divorce. The divorce rate for subsequent marriages is even higher. Those are arguably shit odds a kid would ever grow up in a stable two-parent home. I can't mathematically determine is a ~60% success rate (at best) for your decision to raise a human life form in a rudimentary traditionally healthy sense "shit odds" or "being noble", but I'm not a dad because I wear rubbers so fuck me anways, right.
What I do instead is have a career in industrialized agriculture, I work for an efficiency and productivity consultation company. I've kept a keen eye on the notion that overpopulation is contributing to the downfall of society and the lack of personal accountability among the masses for their resources in that regard will inevitably lead to a manifold of extreme and undue species-wide stress very soon. Its effects are already gaining momentum— there are how many billion lives on this planet right now? So if you alternately had kids as a concise plan, congratulations we're in this mess because of people like you. I can prove mathematically that you're working directly counter to the species' best interest if having children in either case, but I genuinely don't give a two-hour shit at Jolly Pirate Donuts about how you raise them. I don't even care that you're wrong to have kids, just don't tell me you are right. Then again, I work in the business that helps find new ways to feed people so fuck me, I'm practically my own devil. Around here there seems to be a great bunch of dads, I'm not singling anyone out saying if you do this AFHV bullshit or pull cute jokes that you're a bad parent. What I am saying is that mother nature doesn't want more children.
As much as you might love being a parent I love not having an 18 year long sentence to dedicating 110% of my time and energy to raising a primal version of myself with greater capacity for both stupidity and intelligence while simultaneously crawling myself to the grave one grey ball hair at a time and jerking it to fucking babysitter hardcore because it's the one secret thing I didn't put in the porn filter. Somewhere along the way in fatherhood, probably early on, I'd figure out that life is essentially a pointless pursuit of certainty that is ultimately unattainable and unfulfilling, existence is suffering, happiness is just less suffering, karma does not exist, we all die alone, and the only thing that is every truly real is my inability to validate my own perspective with corroboration from any other members of my own species— even a genetically mutated version of my own self that I raise. The time would pass slowly and I would always know my offspring will eventually learn the same lessons. It would be an uncomfortable emotion, I would resign a great deal of stress to it. The state or gov will eventually own them just like they own you and me through the industrialized agriculture, medical, and utility infrastructure that allowed us to think screwing our way to the top of the monetary reward system food chain at such a rate of collective tangible inefficiency in the first place is just the natural order working flawlessly. America doesn't need children, it needs men.
If you think it's the best time in history to play daddy daycare then you're mistaken, and don't be so quick to tout being a parent as the end all be all of the virtuous and insightful decisions. My decision and responsibility to not have children is what gives me credibility as a contrasting point of view to this society of the spectacle coward orgy we call modern America. If my parents had been a bunch of chucklefucks all the time like in this Jimmy Kimmel shit I'd be a goddamn joke of a man. You think your kid needs to learn this Jimmy Kimmel shit from you? Really? I know you don't think any kid is set to sail through life never having to deal with shit like this, or when they do that it ends up in a shootout because you didn't annoy the fuck out of them enough at home. So why is this enriching instead of arbitrary patronizing, because your own intentions which a child (or any other human for that matter) would be willfully ignorant to due to the aforementioned dynamic of what I will call "fuckery"? I think you're playing over their heads with this one, that just my opinion. Fuck me right. I am ignorant to some things I admit that. I never understood a parent's ability to justify their impulse to inspire or encourage dependency for insight from the parents in the child, until I realize the parents see their kids as a reiteration and extension of themselves and their behaviour and thoughts reflect on them by default. Thus it is a "natural" perversion to justify manipulation and falsely engineered situations to instil and evoke trained responses, and potentially maladaptations, which lend their parents greater control over them while simultaneously "enriching" their understanding of foundational logic. Sickening, but natural. I don't see it working long term, I see it eventually eroding a great deal of credibility and confidence. They will pull away from that bullshit themselves I'm guessing, but again fuck me cause I'm not a dad, your kids aren't mine, and I'm losing my drunk after this diatribe.
Cue the guillotine for Cheyenne the Heartless Bachelor.
