Dude......holy shit. I get buried in work, come up for air and your in the hospital? ? Man I am so sorry this happened amigo and hope your back on your pins soon. Finnally get your break to do some livin and wind up in a skirt nobody likes wearin ? Prayers brother and get all the assistance you can from the hot ones???
-
Having trouble using the site?
Contact support
Maggie’s Our resident C/O is recovering from penis enlargement surgery.......
- Thread starter Threadcutter308
- Start date
So fuggin wrong........???? LMMFAOOOOO! Sorry J, but that was the best shot out of the bunch???
It's called pitching The Big Top. She said it was a nice compliment. 
REALLY appreciate your kind words Boyz. All of ya. You're good people and make my day often. Been keeping me going around here I'll tell ya that. And the damn lack of communication is maddening. One of my Dr's said I'd be going home so I was rallying the troops for a ride then the other Doc who's in charge of this shit show sez nope, you're staying. Well ok, fuck me then.
Probably tomorrow they say now. Pain is sooooo much better. Had some blended oatmeal and some yogurt today as a test. Passed the test and really ready to get the hell outta here. Jimmy went off in front of 3 staff members and they're now giving me my space. Bout time. Gal made the mistake of wanting a verbal critique in regards to how's your stay/treatment going. Ok, I'll play, but being sleep deprived and hurting like hell it was her roll of the dice. Had a student nurse and full time staff member in the room at the same time. When the lady with all the questions asked are you getting enough sleep (and this is right after being yold you're now NOT going home) I couldn't hold my fat mouth shut. Let's just say it wasn't pretty, honest, but not pretty. They hound the fuck outta ya and there is NO WAY you're gonna get any sleep with all the different people banging on the damn door and poking and proding. Said it like it is and we have new guidelines. Leave the fucker in 127 alone unless absolutely needed. I'm not here for OHSU's future starsqtake your trainees elsewhere. Can you imagine having your vitals taken by 3 different people inside of an hour every fucking couple hours? That doesn't happen any fucking more. I hurt and I'm exhausted, go play with someone else.
Don't enjoy being like that but a little common sense would have been a better move on the Nurse Mills side.
Here's my wonderful choices now that I've graduated. Nice menu.
Crazy thing is a number of these Nurses went to Nursing school with my eldedt when he was in the program at age 17, the youngest student in the program ever. His twacher who runs the program at Clatsop CC even came in with a student and goes are you, yep, Ollie is my Son. Had a great talk. THAT was a good cotact. lol
I'll let ya know what up. Thanks again for support guys, it's appreciated and actually makes a difference when you're in these kind of predicaments. Carry on.....
REALLY appreciate your kind words Boyz. All of ya. You're good people and make my day often. Been keeping me going around here I'll tell ya that. And the damn lack of communication is maddening. One of my Dr's said I'd be going home so I was rallying the troops for a ride then the other Doc who's in charge of this shit show sez nope, you're staying. Well ok, fuck me then.
Probably tomorrow they say now. Pain is sooooo much better. Had some blended oatmeal and some yogurt today as a test. Passed the test and really ready to get the hell outta here. Jimmy went off in front of 3 staff members and they're now giving me my space. Bout time. Gal made the mistake of wanting a verbal critique in regards to how's your stay/treatment going. Ok, I'll play, but being sleep deprived and hurting like hell it was her roll of the dice. Had a student nurse and full time staff member in the room at the same time. When the lady with all the questions asked are you getting enough sleep (and this is right after being yold you're now NOT going home) I couldn't hold my fat mouth shut. Let's just say it wasn't pretty, honest, but not pretty. They hound the fuck outta ya and there is NO WAY you're gonna get any sleep with all the different people banging on the damn door and poking and proding. Said it like it is and we have new guidelines. Leave the fucker in 127 alone unless absolutely needed. I'm not here for OHSU's future starsqtake your trainees elsewhere. Can you imagine having your vitals taken by 3 different people inside of an hour every fucking couple hours? That doesn't happen any fucking more. I hurt and I'm exhausted, go play with someone else.
Don't enjoy being like that but a little common sense would have been a better move on the Nurse Mills side.
Here's my wonderful choices now that I've graduated. Nice menu.
Crazy thing is a number of these Nurses went to Nursing school with my eldedt when he was in the program at age 17, the youngest student in the program ever. His twacher who runs the program at Clatsop CC even came in with a student and goes are you, yep, Ollie is my Son. Had a great talk. THAT was a good cotact. lol
I'll let ya know what up. Thanks again for support guys, it's appreciated and actually makes a difference when you're in these kind of predicaments. Carry on.....
It's called pitching The Big Top. She said it was a nice compliment.
REALLY appreciate your kind words Boyz. All of ya. You're good people and make my day often. Been keeping me going around here I'll tell ya that. And the damn lack of communication is maddening. One of my Dr's said I'd be going home so I was rallying the troops for a ride then the other Doc who's in charge of this shit show sez nope, you're staying. Well ok, fuck me then.
Probably tomorrow they say now. Pain is sooooo much better. Had some blended oatmeal and some yogurt today as a test. Passed the test and really ready to get the hell outta here. Jimmy went off in front of 3 staff members and they're now giving me my space. Bout time. Gal made the mistake of wanting a verbal critique in regards to how's your stay/treatment going. Ok, I'll play, but being sleep deprived and hurting like hell it was her roll of the dice. Had a student nurse and full time staff member in the room at the same time. When the lady with all the questions asked are you getting enough sleep (and this is right after being yold you're now NOT going home) I couldn't hold my fat mouth shut. Let's just say it wasn't pretty, honest, but not pretty. They hound the fuck outta ya and there is NO WAY you're gonna get any sleep with all the different people banging on the damn door and poking and proding. Said it like it is and we have new guidelines. Leave the fucker in 127 alone unless absolutely needed. I'm not here for OHSU's future starsqtake your trainees elsewhere. Can you imagine having your vitals taken by 3 different people inside of an hour every fucking couple hours? That doesn't happen any fucking more. I hurt and I'm exhausted, go play with someone else.
Don't enjoy being like that but a little common sense would have been a better move on the Nurse Mills side.
Here's my wonderful choices now that I've graduated. Nice menu.
Crazy thing is a number of these Nurses went to Nursing school with my eldedt when he was in the program at age 17, the youngest student in the program ever. His twacher who runs the program at Clatsop CC even came in with a student and goes are you, yep, Ollie is my Son. Had a great talk. THAT was a good cotact. lol
I'll let ya know what up. Thanks again for support guys, it's appreciated and actually makes a difference when you're in these kind of predicaments. Carry on.....
View attachment 6964856
You fuck!.....You could get a milkskake ? Jesus Christ, all I could get when I did my stint was chicken aroma’d cardboard mush.
Teasing bud, very happy for you. Looks like no knife or stitches ? If so, good on you. When you go home, go to bed, rest, get off the meds and drink plenty of water. Don’t rush to get back to work and FFS, stay away from anything labeled “Propane”.....
Jimmy needs to read carefully and consider all his options.
Heard Jeff was offering to fill custom food orders.........
Thats good they are letting you sleep. Unless in critical condition (ICU) most don't need vitals over night.
We figured out a couple years ago that frequent interruption of sleep was causing our elderly patients to have more delerium, slowing their healing and increasing their days in hospital. Now they get no interruptions between 2200-0700.
And yes, I just called you elderly......
Thats good they are letting you sleep. Unless in critical condition (ICU) most don't need vitals over night.
We figured out a couple years ago that frequent interruption of sleep was causing our elderly patients to have more delerium, slowing their healing and increasing their days in hospital. Now they get no interruptions between 2200-0700.
And yes, I just called you elderly......
Feel better. I’m no dr, but I would suggest avoiding handfulls of pistachios and the Blue Oyster Bar for a while.
Jimmy, get well soon man! Stay on the diet they give you!
Well, you told the truth, he IS elderly...
Looks old too.....???????
That picture of him in bed 'kinda' looks like a plate of food left too long on the table, starting to dry up and wrinkle/shrink, and grow white mold... ?????????
Evidence growing on chin, white mold...
GET WELL, BROTHER !!!!
Last edited:
WHAT THE FUCK!!??? No beverage menu with your dinner choices???? Hang in there brother and ya that wellness check sucks. Throw in a little oxygen saturation monitor that starts beaping every time your level drops below optimal due to the meds they have you on with nurse ratchet (god bless her) checking your vitals every 5 F’n minutes in conjunction with the night nurse developing amnesia and forgetting those meds at an inoportune time in the middle of the night..........yep, hospitals suck? Throw in a little ‘Just How Big Of A Rock Star’ are we survey when your boarderline loosing your shit anyway......sure fire formula for blowing a fuse??? Keep your chin up amigo?
WTF!? All of these nurses poking and prodding my personal glory hole, imma have to put on my nurse outfit and go straighten some shit out! It’s ok 1J, nurse Dirty is here to make everything bettah.
There's some epic comedy gold in there. You Boys are tripping over each other trying to outdo thee other, and amazingly it's working.
Ok, I might have over done it. I can't even get Jeffy or the clean up crew in here now. Someone knocks on the door I immediately pull my covers down, start fapping like it owes me money, and sucking my thumb while humming "Mammy how I love ya how I love ya my sweet ole Mammy".
Pains up a tad today, null bueno, but still talking bout booting me. We'll see what happens.
Thanks for the entertainment, it's good to actually have something to laugh about. Now I got some nummy yogurt to put away. You know you're jealous.
Trix Yogurt? WTF? ?
Ok, I might have over done it. I can't even get Jeffy or the clean up crew in here now. Someone knocks on the door I immediately pull my covers down, start fapping like it owes me money, and sucking my thumb while humming "Mammy how I love ya how I love ya my sweet ole Mammy".
Pains up a tad today, null bueno, but still talking bout booting me. We'll see what happens.
Thanks for the entertainment, it's good to actually have something to laugh about. Now I got some nummy yogurt to put away. You know you're jealous.
Trix Yogurt? WTF? ?
See......I was nice to my nurse. Oriental lady, can't remember her name now. She was great. Inside of doctors orders, I could have anything I wanted, whenever I wanted. I told her that for the most part, I just wanted to rest. She left me alone, unless absolutely necessary. Unfortunately, she was only one of three shift nurses. The second one skinny dipped in a 55 gallon drum of cheap perfume (I thought that was a no no for nurses......) and the third one was a guy that had a "pie" fetish. He talked about pie far more frequently than anything I was comfortable with. Now that I think about it, his name could have been Jeff too.....He was also the dipshit that fucked up the install of my first IV in the back of my hand that got infected. Just what I needed.....
Rest up Bud
This has gone from penis enlargement, to ass stuff, to turning trix. What a great day to be on the Hide.
They took your dentures away didn’t they, I told you not to bite the orderly.
Jeff wanted a gum job ?......hmmm ?
Sounds like the resident patient fapper is bringing some concern to the nurses station. They are telling you your trix are causing excess yogurt production. Also they would like you to stop calling them screws.
Not sure who I feel more bad for? You or your poor wife, trooper that she is, putting up with the awful hospital furniture.? If you made me guess I’ll bet she’s probably running interference with the staff so that her #1 doesn’t wind up where he works as a resident and not an employee??? Tell her your buddies on the Hide appreciate it?
There's some epic comedy gold in there. You Boys are tripping over each other trying to outdo thee other, and amazingly it's working.
Ok, I might have over done it. I can't even get Jeffy or the clean up crew in here now. Someone knocks on the door I immediately pull my covers down, start fapping like it owes me money, and sucking my thumb while humming "Mammy how I love ya how I love ya my sweet ole Mammy".
Pains up a tad today, null bueno, but still talking bout booting me. We'll see what happens.
Thanks for the entertainment, it's good to actually have something to laugh about. Now I got some nummy yogurt to put away. You know you're jealous.
Trix Yogurt? WTF? ?
New and improved, with extra Jeff (click to expand) !!!
Hi,
So did he get paroled today or is he still in segregation?
Sincerely,
Theis
So did he get paroled today or is he still in segregation?
Sincerely,
Theis
They have been sending optical probes into the glory hole and found a small population of gerbils with elk-hide jackets.
Doc says he has to get to the bottom of the glory hole before he lets him go home.
Glad to hear things are improving, however this is no time to let down your guard. Just to be safe it might be best to double knot the back of the hospital gown. Jeffrey does have access to sedatives.
Shit man, I just saw this! How are you doing? You need anything? I ain't that far away, I can make something happen if you need it. I'd been wondering where you were...
My mother is a nurse and she had to have surgery for diverticulitis once. It is very serious. I have severe gut pains that come and go, can't eat, nausea, nausea and pain. I've had an appendectomy so I know how you feel. Unfortunately. So I know you're sucking. God it's the worst, isn't it? I've got IBS and it makes it hard to tell if it's important or not on top of it. I'm literally falling apart.
I thought they only pestered the hell out of you at VA hospitals like that... When I'm in the mood to play along, I do it to help them be better doctors. But at other times enough is enough and I let 'em know that. If you don't, you'll go a week with zero sleep. Then they'll wanna know why you haven't been sleeping.
Glad then it's improving. Glad it didn't go septic, you think you're sucking now, wait until you get to try out the IV antibiotics including Vankomycin. Collapsed burning veins, no sleep, nerves shot, it's horrible. And it's what I got the May before last when I almost died or lost my toe due to botched VA surgery. Oh it sucked. And that's IF the drugs work, it's way worse if they don't!
I'm looking forward now to a knee surgery (it seems I've blown out my left knee, good this time) and yet another foot surgery! Calendar is already full of appt.'s for MRI's and other shit. But I DID get boots that fit finally, after looking for years finally got 'em made. Hell, all boots oughta be made to order, these are nice. Hope I can still use 'em after the surgeries!
May have met a unicorn too, she's too pretty and too into AR's and shit to be hetero. No ring, two kids, 6 and 10, both with firearms. A guy we talked to told me he heard her tell another guy she was gay, could be true or it could be a nice way to make him go away. We'll see. She wasn't working when I stopped by the other day. I don't get my hopes up, but I don't just walk by opportunities either!
My mother is a nurse and she had to have surgery for diverticulitis once. It is very serious. I have severe gut pains that come and go, can't eat, nausea, nausea and pain. I've had an appendectomy so I know how you feel. Unfortunately. So I know you're sucking. God it's the worst, isn't it? I've got IBS and it makes it hard to tell if it's important or not on top of it. I'm literally falling apart.
I thought they only pestered the hell out of you at VA hospitals like that... When I'm in the mood to play along, I do it to help them be better doctors. But at other times enough is enough and I let 'em know that. If you don't, you'll go a week with zero sleep. Then they'll wanna know why you haven't been sleeping.
Glad then it's improving. Glad it didn't go septic, you think you're sucking now, wait until you get to try out the IV antibiotics including Vankomycin. Collapsed burning veins, no sleep, nerves shot, it's horrible. And it's what I got the May before last when I almost died or lost my toe due to botched VA surgery. Oh it sucked. And that's IF the drugs work, it's way worse if they don't!
I'm looking forward now to a knee surgery (it seems I've blown out my left knee, good this time) and yet another foot surgery! Calendar is already full of appt.'s for MRI's and other shit. But I DID get boots that fit finally, after looking for years finally got 'em made. Hell, all boots oughta be made to order, these are nice. Hope I can still use 'em after the surgeries!
May have met a unicorn too, she's too pretty and too into AR's and shit to be hetero. No ring, two kids, 6 and 10, both with firearms. A guy we talked to told me he heard her tell another guy she was gay, could be true or it could be a nice way to make him go away. We'll see. She wasn't working when I stopped by the other day. I don't get my hopes up, but I don't just walk by opportunities either!
Almost forgot... Get better brain!!! If you've never seen this, I'm warning you now, it's funny as shit and may hurt.
I have it on good authority that our good buddy has made it home, where he is now practicing his new super-power.
I have that power. Made the kids leave the room tonight...... ? always good for a laugh.
Momma aint kicked me out of bed for it yet....... because I havent pulled the covers over her head. Yet.....
Momma aint kicked me out of bed for it yet....... because I havent pulled the covers over her head. Yet.....
Soooo.......She doesn’t know about the game of “Armeggedon” yet, huh ? Make sure you eat lots of broccoli and deviled eggs before playing......
You're not thinkin' J's gonna get "Roofied", are you ?
It'd be a real shame, I think he has a prior commitment with the cat. Maybe Jeff likes cats and J can "deflect"......The cat isn't real particular.....You're not thinkin' J's gonna get "Roofied", are you ?
Yea, that cat is a slut, no doubt. Any dude with a stretched bunghole qualifies. Deviled eggs, lol.
D
Deleted member 10043
Guest
Divertickleyetits? WTF? Get well soon. We need you back like we need a bag on our hips,
the description of how they keep you up all night sounds like Abu Grabe. Unless actually in Intensive Care, it is ok, so tell the Charge Nurse (who visits you ONCE,) when you get checked into the room, to consolidate all night time treatment and meds and Vital Signs-taking, to once at bedtime (you decide when you are down for the night) and once at dawn (recognizing they got shift change soon, I'll let them awaken me no earlier than when I go hunting), No matter what. I don't have to take a 4 x a day pill at 0 fucking 230! "Either skip it, (I refuse the 2 am pill, NOW, while I am talking to you), or take it yourself".
When evening shift comes on, at 1530 or 1930, I tell THAT nurse as well. I repeat these instructions every single night, because people work different days off, and NO one remembers what you said yesterday. If I am well enough to use the phone, I call the switchboard at 2000 hours and tell them, no more calls.
In other words, you may be THEIR patient but YOU are in charge. Like preventative medicine, or a preemptive strike, this prevents those inconsiderate people with a clipboard to check off all night, from disturbing your beauty sleep. Doing it this way also keeps me from having to actually be pissed off, no one raises their voice, and the nurses come to actually love that "curmudgeon in room 2101"
When evening shift comes on, at 1530 or 1930, I tell THAT nurse as well. I repeat these instructions every single night, because people work different days off, and NO one remembers what you said yesterday. If I am well enough to use the phone, I call the switchboard at 2000 hours and tell them, no more calls.
In other words, you may be THEIR patient but YOU are in charge. Like preventative medicine, or a preemptive strike, this prevents those inconsiderate people with a clipboard to check off all night, from disturbing your beauty sleep. Doing it this way also keeps me from having to actually be pissed off, no one raises their voice, and the nurses come to actually love that "curmudgeon in room 2101"
Li'l update for you silly bastards.
1st, this has already gonna nuclear epic. I am home now as of yesterday. Wanted to keep me in Gitmo at least another night, but that wouldn't have been healthy for any of us. My eldest was in the nursing program over there while in high school, 8 think I mentioned that previously. MANY of the people in that Hospital know both my boys. They'll get an earful I'm sure. Sorry kids.
Just got up a bit ago from a rough night and all pissy pants till I opened this. Haven't laughed like that for sometime, again. Geezus you guys are terrible! And yes it hurt, in a good way.
2nd, I can't thank each of you enough for ALL YOUR SUPPORT both here and privately on the side. You have so much info/knowledge/ advice I can't go wrong! I mean that truly. It's a big fucking deal to Jimmy.
3rd, finding out this is a way bigger deal than I really expected. Finding out it's gonna be a haul for sure. Huge change in diet, med regime, yada yada is not as easy as it sounded. Gotta get my shit together cuz I gotta be back at work a week from today. Outta time so no choice. Uf forced to remain off it'll be without pay, Jimmy can't do dat. In touch with the people I amswer to and hopefully they can accommodate me for a week or so to report on light duty, just run control again like when I met the propane tank. We'll see.
4th, keep being you, and again, thanks for everything. Makes a difference. The power of The Hide!
1st, this has already gonna nuclear epic. I am home now as of yesterday. Wanted to keep me in Gitmo at least another night, but that wouldn't have been healthy for any of us. My eldest was in the nursing program over there while in high school, 8 think I mentioned that previously. MANY of the people in that Hospital know both my boys. They'll get an earful I'm sure. Sorry kids.
Just got up a bit ago from a rough night and all pissy pants till I opened this. Haven't laughed like that for sometime, again. Geezus you guys are terrible! And yes it hurt, in a good way.
2nd, I can't thank each of you enough for ALL YOUR SUPPORT both here and privately on the side. You have so much info/knowledge/ advice I can't go wrong! I mean that truly. It's a big fucking deal to Jimmy.
3rd, finding out this is a way bigger deal than I really expected. Finding out it's gonna be a haul for sure. Huge change in diet, med regime, yada yada is not as easy as it sounded. Gotta get my shit together cuz I gotta be back at work a week from today. Outta time so no choice. Uf forced to remain off it'll be without pay, Jimmy can't do dat. In touch with the people I amswer to and hopefully they can accommodate me for a week or so to report on light duty, just run control again like when I met the propane tank. We'll see.
4th, keep being you, and again, thanks for everything. Makes a difference. The power of The Hide!
Jesus, that sounds epic. I hope you're past all that BS.
Let's have an update, 1J. (oops, you posted it while I posted that ^^^)
Yep, our Brother @Strykervet has run the gambit fo sho! And thank you for your kind offer. Trust me, push come to shove Jimmy ain't above yelling help, in a high pitched squeal of course.
Dude, gerbils with elk skin jackets? Seriously? NO FIBER is the order of the day! But still EPIC!!! LMFAO
Last edited:
I wanna know how they expect an old fart like you to drop a duece on a low fiber diet?
I know your prized budweiser helps a guy crap his brains out......
Glad your home buddy.
Rest a lot. Plenty of water.
Holler if you have any specific questions.
I know your prized budweiser helps a guy crap his brains out......
Glad your home buddy.
Rest a lot. Plenty of water.
Holler if you have any specific questions.
A little info for those wrapping their heads around the low-dookie diet thing:
https://livehealthy.chron.com/low-residue-diet-desserts-5892.html
https://www.mealplansite.com/medical/low-residue-diet.aspx
https://livehealthy.chron.com/low-residue-diet-desserts-5892.html
https://www.mealplansite.com/medical/low-residue-diet.aspx
That ain't no joke! I'm past that particular toe... But I'm still looking forward to another foot surgery and my damned knee just went out so I'm probably looking at surgery on it too. All from a bad back. I wore this body out man. I cannot fucking win and I have gut issues too. I also had the divorce this year and a best friend burned to death in a house fire, my closest uncle and 2 aunts died and my mother's been in surgery twice and I don't know how long I'll have her. And I'm pretty much alone up here. That's just part of it. 2017-18 was easily the year that brought the most pain, everyday bad news it seemed.
But it was you guys doing what you do that helped me through it, in more ways than one with 1J leading the way, and I really couldn't have gotten through it without you guys. I'm eternally grateful, and I view you guys more like brothers, an extended family, and I feel a similar esprit de corps here that I felt in the military. Genuine guys that have your back. Real people. I'd do anything I could if one of you were down --you've done it for me, and in turn we've done it for others. It just makes our world better, our lives richer.
1J is ALWAYS at the front of helping others on the 'Hide too, he's been more than one member's intervening angel. So it's an honor to help a man like him, even if it was just a silly Monty Python post this time.
What he said^^^, plus check into Miralax (Costco sells it in bulk by the name Laxaclear). It's an osmotic laxative, so you gotta drink PLENTY of water for it to work and for you not to feel dehydrated. Key thing about Miralax is that it's polyethylene glycol, a plastic basically, that absorbs water and isn't digestible. So it helps you go when you have no fiber, keeps you from being constipated, etc., and the best thing about it is it's not "addictive". Stimulant laxatives can lead to the intestines not moving unless you have the laxative. That'd be horrible. Fiber can cause problems for some too. Miralax just works without any side effects, just drink plenty of water.
Ask the doc about Miralax if they haven't brought it up and you find you need something, I'm sure they'll okay that but I'm not a doctor. An easy BM is important when trying to heal the guts. That and your diet. Which I hope gets relaxed for you some in the future.
Keep us updated for sure and let us know if you need anything.
Glad your home man! When I had that mashed potatoes and scrambled eggs were my friend for awhile along with clear liquid diet!
Can do nothing but to continue wishing you the absolute best day by day Brother. Your kind words are extremely humbling, but I was really just the pivot point.
You're aware of many who chose to rise to the occasion, but there are others as I've said who wish to remain the silent Santa's that put it over the top. Waaay over. I feel exactly as you in regards to the brotherhood bond. We're just blessed like that.
@powdahound76 and @Tucker301 were the catalyst. The formers idea and driving force, and the latter's for okaying and legitimizing it. What a rodeo. Anyhow, I know you're there, that's all I need.
Better days!
Similar threads
