Question for guys who say "my wife won't let me"

[D̷e̷v̷i̷l̷D̷o̷c̷A̷Z̷]

no matter the forum it seems there is always a post about some dude trashing his wife saying "she won't let me" when discussing buying something for the hobby. I see it in the truck formus, car forums & definitely in the gun forums.

I can't really believe these women exist in the form they are represented. There has to be more to the story. I doubt anyone currently in this situation will give me an honest answer so I'm reaching out to the divorced guys and just asking.....what in the actual fuck?!

I have a few theories:

1-guy can't REALLY afford it and he is a child and the wife is the only one who does so she complains when dumb financial decisions are made. I would agree w the wife here. If you are not saving money in your retirement at 10-15% you shouldn't be buying expensive toys.

2-you are doing well financially but she issecure. If you spend money on another hobby it's less time they have with you. She's not interested in shooting but she doesn't want you to be either. She's a jealous, insecure wife.

3-guys just say this to fit in and it's not really happening. WTF?

The real purpose for this question is NOT to bash the guy, not to bash the wife but to REALLY understand the situation. Maybe I have gotten lucky in the fact my wife isn't like that and neither was my ex wife. But I really want to learn to spot the signs. I have a son and nephews and I darn sure don't want them ending up getting bitched at their whole lives for spending money.

So what's the deal?

From guys who have experienced this.

 

[pmclaine]

Trying asking for anal,,,,its real, not imaginary.

 

[D̷e̷v̷i̷l̷D̷o̷c̷A̷Z̷]

Trying asking for anal,,,,its real, not imaginary.

You ask for that while she's your girlfriend, if she refuses she shouldn't ever be your fiancé. If she offers it up & you didn't even ask, your fast track her to fiancé.


But I really do want to know. Are the women who are complaining just reacting to a guys fucked up decisions (valid response) or are these women just complaining to complain.

I know it's a difficult question. Just figured I'd ask. Maybe I should start tagging guys who post up "my wife won't let me"

 

[pmclaine]

Heard a story about a chick in the middle of sex that screamed out "If my pussy is too loose put it in my ass!"

Id say you avoid that one at all costs after that, and maybe get some penicillin.

Regards the OP.......

Its a money thing and the fact you really dont even want the item.

Usually both factored together.

Sure if you had a spare $6000 with no other thing to buy you would get an AI.

but truth be told if you dont have that desire that makes your balls ache, your mouth salivate and you feel an ache in your heart every time you think of the item.....and you cant stop thinking of the item......than you wont be sacrificing to get it.

We (men) are pretty simple computers.

When we really want something the process chain is pretty simple.

When we want to avoid something though we will make up the most stupid shit to avoid it.


What are you looking to buy by the way?

 

[Veer_G]

It's a matter of magnitude.

Six figures? Seven? It better have a backyard and a street address, and we better have thought this out and made a joint decision, or I'll be on the couch for months. No curb, though.

Five figures? It better come with four tires and a steering wheel, she better like the color, and no more than four in the driveway. Beyond that, we need another garage, or at least a valet.

Four figures? We better make our car and house notes or she's gonna be pissed. Hell, I'll be pissed off at myself. Unless it hangs around her neck, off her ears, or goes on a finger.

Three figures? Depends upon which end of the spectrum. Past the midpoint, we talk, but it's me advising her, Under it, strictly free fire.

Two figures? We spend more on a meal out.

Of course, I'm lucky. I buy ammunition and magazines, and she says, "They're wear items, honey."

YMMV, and wear a cup until you're sure.

 

[Patty]

I’ve heard this often too, and not just about buying things but shooting matches. “I’ll have to ask the wife”

My wife laughs at these comments, though we don’t have kids yet, I think it’s another way of guys saying “let me ask if the wife can handle the kids for the weekend alone” or “I shouldn’t spend money on that” and using the wife as an out for the blame. Which is unfortunate because it makes the wives look bad.

I suppose I am lucky that my wife supports the hobby 100%, she’s knows it’s expensive but also knows it’s what I do, she married me knowing this was the case.

 

[pmclaine]

I suppose I am lucky that my wife supports the hobby 100%, she’s knows it’s expensive but also knows it’s what I do.

Its cheaper than boozing and banging whores.

My hobby used to be motorcycles.

That ended because it was tough saying "Seeya" and riding off leaving family behind.

So now its rifles.

Gots to have something.

Besides it was that or Anal.

Just have to know how to phrase your negotiations.

 

[Veer_G]

Heard a story about a chick in the middle of sex that screamed out "If my pussy is too loose put it in my ass!"

Id say you avoid that one at all costs after that, and maybe get some penicillin.

Sounds to me like a misspent youth clutching fistfuls of dollar bills listening to Clarence Carter on the jukebox.

 

[pmclaine]

Sounds to me like a misspent youth clutching fistfuls of dollar bills listening to Clarence Carter on the jukebox.

Better watch that ass sos she doesnt wear it out.

Its one thing to have tunnel vagina but and uncontained reamed sphincter could be problematic.

 

[Maggot]

Ive never been married so my thoughts are conjecture based on observation.

Mike- a buddy who loved everything western, so when I was planning a trip out to the SW I invited him to come along. He reply "Pam would never let me do that." I almost shit myself in dis belief. If he'd said I cant afford it Id understand. If he'd said Id love to but family obligations, got it, but "Pam wont let me.? I knew Pam, she would have cajoled a bit but its something he loved and would have given in. I never understood it, but in thinking about it now, he was just a little local country boy who aside from the army had hardly left the county he grew up in.

-He just didnt have the nuts to go and used her as a way out.

Ive heard that other times and I think most of it was the same thing. I think that if you approach it with reason, and can afford it, any wife or woman worth having would want her man to have hes toys...especially if she has hers. Fair is fair.

If she doesnt, (TAKE THE KIDS IF ANY) get the fuck outta there or YOURE THE PUSSY IN THE MARRIAGE.

 

[Maggot]

Better watch that ass sos she doesnt wear it out.

Its one thing to have tunnel vagina but and uncontained reamed sphincter could be problematic.

Unless you have a constant constipation problem, then it could be a blessing.

Great start to Saturday morning, talking about reaming assholes. ?

 

[ArmyJerry]

 

[Veer_G]

Better watch that ass sos she doesnt wear it out.

Its one thing to have tunnel vagina but and uncontained reamed sphincter could be problematic.

The only Greek she wants is baklava, which is fine by me.

 

[Olen_4504]

God this is the story of my life.

My friends use this excuse for everything. I think your reason #2 has a lot to do with it. It especially describes one particular married friends of mine. He only gets nice things if she buys it for him. And when does she buy it for him? Once he’s been a good boy for a few months. “He’s been really helpful lately I want to surprise him with the AR he really wants,, help me pick it out” she also bought him a Polaris side by side utv. And when he mentioned needing a new $80 fishing reel. She went off threatening to return the UTV. I was standing there and called her out “how much money did you spend at the mall today? Let the guy buy a $80 reel for crying out loud.” silence.

He’s not allowed to buy things on his own. He has to wait until he’s earned it.

It’s rather embarrassing and I give him a hard time about it. His excuse is “wait till you’ve been married 5 years, you’ll find out”

My wife chuckles at these comments from them.

I’m in the same boat as @Patruck825
Our wife’s support our hobby 100%
We are fortunate to all be friends together and I think it’s a big reason we were able to get close quickly. Where most of my other old time friends with controlling significant others are falling to the wayside. I’ve grown closer to new friends in this hobby that share similar circumstances to me.

Our wives come to matches, and never once complain about the costs associated because they know it makes us happy. They get to do their thing, we do ours. And we involve each other as much as possible.

 

[sid]

I have been there, my wife would have killed my if I had spent 1000$ on something.
At that time we had small kids and I big list of things we needed, something always was broken and needed replacing.

The last few years we caught up on everything, I save over 20% for retirement and if I have the money I can buy whatever I want, as long as the family doesn't need to eat spaghetti for the rest of the month.

 

[blbennett1288]

I think it has to do more with "what could the money be used on?"

New house, new car, vacation, savings, ect.

Retirement is taken care of; 401k's and backdoor are maxed out yearly.

Also boils down to "do you really need said item."

I bought an AT in December and had always been jonesing for an AX. When I found a really good deal on one I had no issues explaining that I was going to pick it up. Now if this evolved into a continuous spending habit I could see where she might start saying no.

 

[Spblademaker]

You guys make me sick! Certified Trophy Husband, here. Aim big. Never ask permission. Don’t get caught. Have a rock solid excuse if you do....and fuck the living daylights out of her every chance you get.

 

[MarinePMI]

View attachment 7075540

Okay AJ. You win the internet today.

 

[Nik H]

People charging things for the hobby which is quite common would be a big reason I would think.

People not only need to save for retirement but also for entertainment. Your entertainment may be shooting or golf or traveling. I think the friction is when the wife don't give a rat's ass about the hobby.

 

[MarinePMI]

Personally, I think it's either guys that don't know how to manage their money (as stated previously), or guys that have been burnt buying shit they know they couldn't afford, and having the wife hit melt down mode.

Like @Veer_G , our house has an unwritten set of rules/considerations when it comes to spending. If I think is something completely selfish and wasteful, I don't even mention it. I may want it, but I know I don't need it, or have a real use for it.

However, when it is something I want/need (such a fine line there), and it's fairly costly, I bring it up in conversation. If it is a "want" item, I mention "thinking about picking up" said item, and open a dialog with the wife to see her stance. After all, we share all the expenses, and earn roughly the same amount of income. No sense in causing conflict over something that is just a luxury. If it is something I think I need, I bring it up by saying "Yeah, there's this xxx that I think I need, so I going to pick it up/order it, probably next week". The wife knows me, and just nods. It's a consideration thing in this case, not a "asking for permission" thing. It keeps the peace. Besides, as she puts it almost every time "Look, you know you're going to eventually get it, so just order it and be done with it".

Like Veer_G, these discussions are factored in the number of zeros attached to the end of the price tag.

 

[armorpl8chikn]

Most men who say that are chicken shit.
I've said it as a joke.
A lot of times guys are spending money they don't have.
Good friend pointed out to me once, "if you want something bad enough, you'll find a way to get it." That is very true. I have wheeled and dealed and saved and skrimped when I want something.

I had a hobby fund for a long time, even though my late wife and I were into the same stuff. On occasion I bought an item outside the budget, we mutually agreed on.

My wife now is just nuts. My last trip to the gun show, she asked me what I was gonna buy. I told her, I really had nothing in mind, had thought about getting a lever action, but I don't need one. Told her I was happy with my money in the bank just fine.
"Buy the thing, you only live once. We've got the money."

She's a Perdy good gal.

 

[PAYDIRT]

Curtain Shoppers. I don't feel sorry for them one bit, they had to know what kinda shit they were getting into before they put a ring on it. Usually when they start in about what "the boss" will allow I start in about how I do/buy/ wtf I want.

 

[Maggot]

People charging things for the hobby which is quite common would be a big reason I would think.

People not only need to save for retirement but also for entertainment. Your entertainment may be shooting or golf or traveling. I think the friction is when the wife don't give a rat's ass about the hobby.

Yep. No entertainment could mean no retirement. Stress related early check out.

 

[AIAW]

The responses so far are awesome.

This entire thread is why I have friends with two direct-deposit accounts; the shared one and the fun one.

Me personally, I'm a pretty independent person overall. She knows (knew actually) this. Control my account that my salary feeds 8x more - I think not bitch. I have no problem with you buying whatever you want, I'm going to do the same.

There is nothing more annoying than a controlling hag. Guys that have to leave the range crazy early because the wifey wants him home... righhhttt. Tell her to get a hobby of some sort... or friends.

 

[candyx]

Trying asking for anal,,,,its real, not imaginary.

Anal is not something you ask for you just do it and apologize after saying you thought you were in the other hole, my bad.

 

[deersniper]

Heard a story about a chick in the middle of sex that screamed out "If my pussy is too loose put it in my ass!"

Id say you avoid that one at all costs after that, and maybe get some penicillin.

Regards the OP.......

Its a money thing and the fact you really dont even want the item.

Usually both factored together.

Sure if you had a spare $6000 with no other thing to buy you would get an AI.

but truth be told if you dont have that desire that makes your balls ache, your mouth salivate and you feel an ache in your heart every time you think of the item.....and you cant stop thinking of the item......than you wont be sacrificing to get it.

We (men) are pretty simple computers.

When we really want something the process chain is pretty simple.

When we want to avoid something though we will make up the most stupid shit to avoid it.


What are you looking to buy by the way?

Meh. AIs are a modern day neccessity. The bolt is sooo nice.

And you can get mki or iis for like 1500

 

[brianf]

I say it out of respect to her.
She knows if I want it I'm going to buy it
And she knows she can spend up to a point depending on the item, and I won't care
Never really spoke about outright dollars but she gets it
Only thing (hobby/shooting not important stuff) she gets pissy about is if I make a plan to go on a hunt and I don't "ok" it with her first.
It's the out of the house/ not being home for dinner/not seeing the kids/family time that she stands firm
Range time better be in the morning if possible not at lunch on Saturday etc
If I want to do a week in Alaska she won't care what it costs but the 7 nights are a touchy subject
I've resorted to shooting school or longer hunts that she can hang out a ranch house or a nice hotel close by with the kids.
Huge decisions we go 60/40 me
Kids school 70/30 her
$ decisions 90/10 me
That being said she is a stay home mom and we are paying the bills just fine
So actual budget and the stress that comes with it really isn't there
If I was behind on the mortgage it would be totally different but then so would i

 

[isofahunter]

My wife says I cannot leave a comment.

 

[Spblademaker]

There’s always this approach.

 

[Ol' RD]

Don't let my answer be construed as being rude or flippant. I'm one of those guys! Been married to the same woman for 32 years, all our kids are married off and out. When we were starting out it was for budgeting reasons, now it more for respect. She's earned that right the same way I earned it. We can afford things now just like we could back then it was a mutual priorities thing.

 

[myronman3]

My take on it is a few possible situations.

#1.....dude aint got the sand to begin with. Uses this as an excuse for his own hangups....blames it on her.

#2. Kinda the same thing....dude lacks the stones to tell her what it is. I’ve seen guys that are strong as hell, afraid of their wives wrath. Bitch will drop 150 bucks in a blink of an eye getting nails and hair done, but holy hell, if $150 goes missing for a deal on a hunting scope, it hits the fan. fuck that shit. Send the bitch packing and be done with it...that’s my motto. And everyone who eventually does, gets pissed when they see how much cash they have once the wife is gone.

#3. Guys dont have their shit together, and want to spend money that should be used to improve their family’s situation, they blow on shit. In this case, the woman is right.......but wrong for being with a shithead that behaves that way.


I make my money, i’ll decide where to spend it. End of the fucking story.

 

[Maggot]

Anal is not something you ask for you just do it and apologize after saying you thought you were in the other hole, my bad.

Thats one I could never understand.

Why in the name of you know who, would you want to stick it in a shit tube that stinks, when 1.5"-2" away is the honey pot?

Am I being a prude?

What happened to the gal who was chiming in for the last few weeks?

 

[D̷e̷v̷i̷l̷D̷o̷c̷A̷Z̷]

Heard a story about a chick in the middle of sex that screamed out "If my pussy is too loose put it in my ass!"

Id say you avoid that one at all costs after that, and maybe get some penicillin.

Regards the OP.......

Its a money thing and the fact you really dont even want the item.

Usually both factored together.

Sure if you had a spare $6000 with no other thing to buy you would get an AI.

but truth be told if you dont have that desire that makes your balls ache, your mouth salivate and you feel an ache in your heart every time you think of the item.....and you cant stop thinking of the item......than you wont be sacrificing to get it.

We (men) are pretty simple computers.

When we really want something the process chain is pretty simple.

When we want to avoid something though we will make up the most stupid shit to avoid it.


What are you looking to buy by the way?

I'm not looking for anything. I was reading a post about a guy complaining he is only allowed to own 1 gun.

 

[Rthur]

One question:
If the wife needs a consult when you want to buy something does she do same?

R

 

[Spblademaker]

 

[Loonhunter]

Thats one I could never understand.

Why in the name of you know who, would you want to stick it in a shit tube that stinks, when 1.5"-2" away is the honey pot?

Am I being a prude?

What happened to the gal who was chiming in for the last few weeks?

It’s like trying that restaurant that’s right next to your favorite restaurant. You’ve loved the food
for twenty + years but the menu never changes.

 

[Alphatreedog]

Its cheaper than boozing and banging whores.

My hobby used to be motorcycles.

That ended because it was tough saying "Seeya" and riding off leaving family behind.

So now its rifles.

Gots to have something.

Besides it was that or Anal.

Just have to know how to phrase your negotiations.

I'm gonna borrow that . " Why do you need another gun ?" Well it's a gun or anal . What's it gonna be door number one or door number two ?

 

[Loonhunter]

I'm gonna borrow that . " Why do you need another gun ?" Well it's a gun or anal . What's it gonna be door number one or door number two ?

Door number brown or door number blue?

 

[Keel Haul]

That’s why I have my own money and not a shared account. And the only thing I’m upset she won’t let me do is bang her sister.

 

[D̷e̷v̷i̷l̷D̷o̷c̷A̷Z̷]

Don't let my answer be construed as being rude or flippant. I'm one of those guys! Been married to the same woman for 32 years, all our kids are married off and out. When we were starting out it was for budgeting reasons, now it more for respect. She's earned that right the same way I earned it. We can afford things now just like we could back then it was a mutual priorities thing.

I appreciate the feedback.

You say it's out of respect, but it makes her look like a bad person.

 

[TIMMYTOY]

If you both work buy what you want!
What you need to do is buy a rifle you really like then make three four etc exactly the same just different calibers so when you take it out of the safe/room she thinks it’s the same gun.

 

[TIMMYTOY]

Communication is the key works both ways.

 

[Ol' RD]

I appreciate the feedback.

You say it's out of respect, but it makes her look like a bad person.

No it doesn’t, my buddies are married as long as I’ve been. We all work hard, marriage is a joint venture, the guys that say “I make it, I’ll do what I want with it!” Better be ready to pay the divorce lawyer and loose half his stuff. My wife’s been with me when I was scraping every dollar I could to keep a roof over our heads, to be so selfish as to not include her in my decisions is silly in my opinion.

 

[Maggot]

It’s like trying that restaurant that’s right next to your favorite restaurant. You’ve loved the food
for twenty + years but the menu never changes.

Yes, but as Shankster used to put it, " A woman's anus is a dark dank place." paraphrased.

 

[Maser]

I can't answer this thread because my wife won't let me.

 

[Ol' RD]

I appreciate the feedback.

You say it's out of respect, but it makes her look like a bad person.

It says more about me than her. I appreciate my wife’s lifelong commitment to me, I should do no less for her.

 

[D̷e̷v̷i̷l̷D̷o̷c̷A̷Z̷]

No it doesn’t, my buddies are married as long as I’ve been. We all work hard, marriage is a joint venture, the guys that say “I make it, I’ll do what I want with it!” Better be ready to pay the divorce lawyer and loose half his stuff. My wife’s been with me when I was scraping every dollar I could to keep a roof over our heads, to be so selfish as to not include her in my decisions is silly in my opinion.

Perhaps I misunderstood. If you are saying "we discuss large purchasss" then I agree with you.

What I read was "I say things like, my wife said I can't have it" and then thought you said that was a form of respect.

 

[isofahunter]

If the dynamic is not clear at the beginning it gets messy in the end. Too many people have piss poor money management skills.

 

[Loonhunter]

Yes, but as Shankster used to put it, " A woman's anus is a dark dank place." paraphrased.

Which is why your penis doesn’t have eyes or a nose.

 

[Spblademaker]

Which is why your penis doesn’t have eyes or a nose.

Didn’t see that coming.