Ring Ring Ring

[TheGerman]

Phone rings, I just pick it up without even looking at the number.

Me: Yeah?

This is an important call from the Social Security Administration. You are receiving this call because your social security benefits are being suspended due to illegal behavior. To talk to someone about this, please press 1.

Presses 1.

Hadj: Hello. This is the department of social security card. What are you calling about?

Me: Department of social security card, huh?

Hadj: Yes.

Me: I just got a call that something is wrong with my social security card. So Im glad the department of social security card called me about my card, since i have a social security card and would hate for there to be a problem with my card so it seems like the department of social security card can help me fix whatever is going on with my social security card, right?

Hadj: What is the last 4 of your social security so I can look up your file?

Me: 6668

Hadj: Six six six A? Like the letter A?

Me: Yeah, sure, the letter A.

Hadj: (makes clicking noises on his keyboard) Oh yes, I have your file right here. It says there is a problem with your social security card and it has been deactivated due to bad behavior.

Me: Bad behavior? What? Did my wife call you?

Hadj: Yes. Bad behavior. If you do not fix this very soon, you will lose all of your social security moneys.

Me: Oh, wait, did the government do this?

Hadj: Yes

Me: Ok. Well, phew. I think I know what it is then.

Hadj: What your bad behavior is?

Me: Yeah. I figured theyd do this. See, they probably froze my social security card because of the murder trial.

Hadj: murder trial?

Me: Well, yes, 3 actually. See they didn't consolidate them so its a trial, but theres 3. I killed, err sorry, ALLEGEDLY killed 3 people. You know how that goes.

Hadj: What do you think this did with your social security card that we need to help you fix?

Me: I'm not sure. The last 3 guys that asked me that, I killed....ALLEGEDLY killed, when I found them over their VOIP internet phone numbers and killed them. Or thats what they said I did anyways. That's how I got into this mess in the first place. But Im glad you called so we can fix this!

Me: Hey I just realized, is this a VOIP number youre calling me from?

Hadj hangs up.

 

[Sean the Nailer]

Dayummm, I'm almost tempted to ask for video, next time! Great story.

 

[Maggot]

Phone rings, I just pick it up without even looking at the number.

Me: Yeah?

This is an important call from the Social Security Administration. You are receiving this call because your social security benefits are being suspended due to illegal behavior. To talk to someone about this, please press 1.

Presses 1.

Hadj: Hello. This is the department of social security card. What are you calling about?

Me: Department of social security card, huh?

Hadj: Yes.

Me: I just got a call that something is wrong with my social security card. So Im glad the department of social security card called me about my card, since i have a social security card and would hate for there to be a problem with my card so it seems like the department of social security card can help me fix whatever is going on with my social security card, right?

Hadj: What is the last 4 of your social security so I can look up your file?

Me: 6668

Hadj: Six six six A? Like the letter A?

Me: Yeah, sure, the letter A.

Hadj: (makes clicking noises on his keyboard) Oh yes, I have your file right here. It says there is a problem with your social security card and it has been deactivated due to bad behavior.

Me: Bad behavior? What? Did my wife call you?

Hadj: Yes. Bad behavior. If you do not fix this very soon, you will lose all of your social security moneys.

Me: Oh, wait, did the government do this?

Hadj: Yes

Me: Ok. Well, phew. I think I know what it is then.

Hadj: What your bad behavior is?

Me: Yeah. I figured theyd do this. See, they probably froze my social security card because of the murder trial.

Hadj: murder trial?

Me: Well, yes, 3 actually. See they didn't consolidate them so its a trial, but theres 3. I killed, err sorry, ALLEGEDLY killed 3 people. You know how that goes.

Hadj: What do you think this did with your social security card that we need to help you fix?

Me: I'm not sure. The last 3 guys that asked me that, I killed....ALLEGEDLY killed, when I found them over their VOIP internet phone numbers and killed them. Or thats what they said I did anyways. That's how I got into this mess in the first place. But Im glad you called so we can fix this!

Me: Hey I just realized, is this a VOIP number youre calling me from?

Hadj hangs up.

Im so stealing that.

 

[HeavyAssault]

 

[Not a Sniper]

Phone rings, I just pick it up without even looking at the number.

Me: Yeah?

This is an important call from the Social Security Administration. You are receiving this call because your social security benefits are being suspended due to illegal behavior. To talk to someone about this, please press 1.

Presses 1.

Hadj: Hello. This is the department of social security card. What are you calling about?

Me: Department of social security card, huh?

Hadj: Yes.

Me: I just got a call that something is wrong with my social security card. So Im glad the department of social security card called me about my card, since i have a social security card and would hate for there to be a problem with my card so it seems like the department of social security card can help me fix whatever is going on with my social security card, right?

Hadj: What is the last 4 of your social security so I can look up your file?

Me: 6668

Hadj: Six six six A? Like the letter A?

Me: Yeah, sure, the letter A.

Hadj: (makes clicking noises on his keyboard) Oh yes, I have your file right here. It says there is a problem with your social security card and it has been deactivated due to bad behavior.

Me: Bad behavior? What? Did my wife call you?

Hadj: Yes. Bad behavior. If you do not fix this very soon, you will lose all of your social security moneys.

Me: Oh, wait, did the government do this?

Hadj: Yes

Me: Ok. Well, phew. I think I know what it is then.

Hadj: What your bad behavior is?

Me: Yeah. I figured theyd do this. See, they probably froze my social security card because of the murder trial.

Hadj: murder trial?

Me: Well, yes, 3 actually. See they didn't consolidate them so its a trial, but theres 3. I killed, err sorry, ALLEGEDLY killed 3 people. You know how that goes.

Hadj: What do you think this did with your social security card that we need to help you fix?

Me: I'm not sure. The last 3 guys that asked me that, I killed....ALLEGEDLY killed, when I found them over their VOIP internet phone numbers and killed them. Or thats what they said I did anyways. That's how I got into this mess in the first place. But Im glad you called so we can fix this!

Me: Hey I just realized, is this a VOIP number youre calling me from?

Hadj hangs up.

You rock dude-never lose that shit!

Hysterical!

 

[E. Bryant]

Dayummm, I'm almost tempted to ask for video, next time! Great story.

I'd at least like some audio so that I can read TheGerman's post while imagining the correct accent. I had an idea of what Theis sounded like, and then my mind was completely blown when I heard his actual voice on a podcast

 

[DarnYankeeUSMC]

My side hurts, I can't breathe from laughing

 

[DIBBS]

I have found that a loud whistle, while not near the entertainment value (very well said BTW), will result in the offending party hangin up immediately.

I like your approach mo bettah though! Guess I'm lazy...

Thanks for the hearty belly laugh!

 

[D1gger]

The last time my Social Security had been "suspend", it ended with the dude telling me "I'll fuck you up dickface" before he hung up-lol

 

[Biggie1976]

That's funny

 

[candyx]

When I call you tomorrow I'll ask for the first three numbers then the next day the middle two numbers. That way it doesn't seem suspicious

 

[Wyfox]

Did everybody else read that using their best Hadj voice?? Or just me, lol

 

[6.5SH]

This usually gets a rise out of them:

 

[MCHOG]

There are some Youtube videos of guys that let "Microsoft" scammers connect to their computers. While they are stringing the scammers along, they actually hack into the scammers' computers and delete files. Pretty entertaining stuff.

The best I've herd is guys that almost got a scammer killed by sending him to Chad near Darfur. https://www.thisamericanlife.org/363/enforcers/act-one

 

[Strykervet]

I just got one recently for Medicare.

Are you so and so?

Yep.

I'm blah blah super fucking fast, what's your SSN?

Who are you?

I'm blah blah super fucking fast, what's your B'day?

Who? Wait, I'm asking... Click.

I never got to have any fun.

I did report 'em to IG though because I can see some old folks falling for this easily.

There are some Youtube videos of guys that let "Microsoft" scammers connect to their computers. While they are stringing the scammers along, they actually hack into the scammers' computers and delete files. Pretty entertaining stuff.

The best I've herd is guys that almost got a scammer killed by sending him to Chad near Darfur. https://www.thisamericanlife.org/363/enforcers/act-one

Didn't get one killed but I shut down an entire Nigerian operation with the help of (believe it or no, my arch nemesis fedex) once and they threatened me over the outcome. Apparently tens of thousands of dollars got frozen during that fiasco. They got greedy though and I kept pressing 'em for real info. Took a few weeks but I got it.

 

[6.5SH]

I just got one recently for Medicare.

Are you so and so?

Yep.

I'm blah blah super fucking fast, what's your SSN?

Who are you?

I'm blah blah super fucking fast, what's your B'day?

Who? Wait, I'm asking... Click.

I never got to have any fun.

I did report 'em to IG though because I can see some old folks falling for this easily.


Didn't get one killed but I shut down an entire Nigerian operation with the help of (believe it or no, my arch nemesis fedex) once and they threatened me over the outcome. Apparently tens of thousands of dollars got frozen during that fiasco. They got greedy though and I kept pressing 'em for real info. Took a few weeks but I got it.

Good job and nice ability to exploit their greed.

 

[Desert Raven]

@TheGerman NEVER disappoints. One eternal truth you learn on this board is that. Oh and for the love of Christ, never dress in a ridiculous fobbit-ass ghillie suit and have him give you a synopsis of your "gear".

 

[LeftyJason]

Calling @Foul Mike because he would appreciate this.

 

[Huskydriver]

Phone rings, I just pick it up without even looking at the number.

Me: Yeah?

This is an important call from the Social Security Administration. You are receiving this call because your social security benefits are being suspended due to illegal behavior. To talk to someone about this, please press 1.

Presses 1.

Hadj: Hello. This is the department of social security card. What are you calling about?

Me: Department of social security card, huh?

Hadj: Yes.

Me: I just got a call that something is wrong with my social security card. So Im glad the department of social security card called me about my card, since i have a social security card and would hate for there to be a problem with my card so it seems like the department of social security card can help me fix whatever is going on with my social security card, right?

Hadj: What is the last 4 of your social security so I can look up your file?

Me: 6668

Hadj: Six six six A? Like the letter A?

Me: Yeah, sure, the letter A.

Hadj: (makes clicking noises on his keyboard) Oh yes, I have your file right here. It says there is a problem with your social security card and it has been deactivated due to bad behavior.

Me: Bad behavior? What? Did my wife call you?

Hadj: Yes. Bad behavior. If you do not fix this very soon, you will lose all of your social security moneys.

Me: Oh, wait, did the government do this?

Hadj: Yes

Me: Ok. Well, phew. I think I know what it is then.

Hadj: What your bad behavior is?

Me: Yeah. I figured theyd do this. See, they probably froze my social security card because of the murder trial.

Hadj: murder trial?

Me: Well, yes, 3 actually. See they didn't consolidate them so its a trial, but theres 3. I killed, err sorry, ALLEGEDLY killed 3 people. You know how that goes.

Hadj: What do you think this did with your social security card that we need to help you fix?

Me: I'm not sure. The last 3 guys that asked me that, I killed....ALLEGEDLY killed, when I found them over their VOIP internet phone numbers and killed them. Or thats what they said I did anyways. That's how I got into this mess in the first place. But Im glad you called so we can fix this!

Me: Hey I just realized, is this a VOIP number youre calling me from?

Hadj hangs up.

 

[6.5SH]

View attachment 7583462

Are you claiming there was an ostrich involved? Was it sick?

 

[dustingaunder]

They got my mom pretty good recently. No money lost but the scam was on point. The number displayed on CID was the county sheriff’s office, guy claimed to be an officer that really works for the SO and claimed to have a warrant signed by an actual judge in the county. Luckily her boss is the ex-chief of police where she lives and he was there at work. He knew the officer and when that detail came up the scammer bailed. Pretty elaborate I was impressed when she told me about it.

 

[6.5SH]

They got my mom pretty good recently. No money lost but the scam was on point. The number displayed on CID was the county sheriff’s office, guy claimed to be an officer that really works for the SO and claimed to have a warrant signed by an actual judge in the county. Luckily her boss is the ex-chief of police where she lives and he was there at work. He knew the officer and when that detail came up the scammer bailed. Pretty elaborate I was impressed when she told me about it.

That is way more elaborate and detailed than most. Was the scammer a native english speaker?

 

[2aBaC̶a̶]

I'd at least like some audio so that I can read TheGerman's post while imagining the correct accent. I had an idea of what Theis sounded like, and then my mind was completely blown when I heard his actual voice on a podcast

Just leave the imaginary german voice alone. He probably sounds like a country Danny DeVito

 

[Ronin_64]

Wish you the best of luck at your murder trial. If I can contribute to your GoFundMe defense account, I will. I just need your name, ssn, and address, please and thank you.

 

[TxWelder35]

There are some Youtube videos of guys that let "Microsoft" scammers connect to their computers. While they are stringing the scammers along, they actually hack into the scammers' computers and delete files. Pretty entertaining stuff.

The best I've herd is guys that almost got a scammer killed by sending him to Chad near Darfur. https://www.thisamericanlife.org/363/enforcers/act-one

Dude that saga of sending that guy around Chad should be mandatory Internet reading. Holy cow

 

[silentwoods]

Fucking epic...

 

[Charger442]

where is the audio of the comedian who had a recorder hooked to his phone so he could mess with telemarketers? The one that made the caller freak out was he told him he was a detective and the person he called had been murdered and started asking all the questions about "how do you know, John Doe? what was your business with him? i need your name and full contact info because we need to bring you in for questioning". it was fantastic. my google must be weak, i cant find it.

 

[dustingaunder]

That is way more elaborate and detailed than most. Was the scammer a native english speaker?

She said it sounded like an American.

 

[Foul Mike]

Yesterday I got a call about Social Security. It had been about 2 weeks from the last one. I played it to the Hilt, and had them stuck but there is NO Hadji that can cuss as well as I do,-- but they try. It is really comical when after I have taken up so much of their time going on and on and giving them Off the Wall numbers that they spool up and tell me "I am going to Fuck your Mother." OK, go ahead Assbreath. "You are a Necrophilite and want to stick you dick in a bunch of bones?" "She has been dead for 20 years, what can you tell me about this mental condition that you have?" "Can I help you with that?"
It takes a while to learn how to waste their time but it can be done and you have to know how to lead them on til they explode, then the fun happens.
I seldom get many calls these days, but take the ones I get, I take them soley for the entertainment value. I haven't much else to do, so call me.
I think I am now on their Shit List as it doesn't happen too often. But when it does, Game On.

 

[tomcatmv]

Hi German, that was epic. Reminded me of some of the Jerky Boys stuff. Funny as shit.

 

[BLKWLFK9]

I have found that a loud whistle, while not near the entertainment value (very well said BTW), will result in the offending party hangin up immediately.

I like your approach mo bettah though! Guess I'm lazy...

Thanks for the hearty belly laugh!

i bought 2 air horns for this reason.

 

[Foul Mike]

My Squaw uses a dog whistle and it uncunts them every time. Dial tone. Done

I prefer to play with them. I am the nastiest pig fucker in the world when I really get them unspooled and into a lashup.

You would not believe some of the exiting comments after I just set up an account for Joe Bogotrod and it dawns on them that this whole thing is BullShit and they have been played.

Burner phone --just like theirs. No Fucks to Give. Call back later. I have plenty of time but rarely get a call anymore. Shit List??

 

[Foul Mike]

May Be that these calls are Karma for ALL of the neat calls we made when we were Kids?

 

[Kiba]

where is the audio of the comedian who had a recorder hooked to his phone so he could mess with telemarketers? The one that made the caller freak out was he told him he was a detective and the person he called had been murdered and started asking all the questions about "how do you know, John Doe? what was your business with him? i need your name and full contact info because we need to bring you in for questioning". it was fantastic. my google must be weak, i cant find it.

Tom Mabe is who you're thinking of.

 

[PusherX11]

I received this email last month. Wife and I had a good laugh over it.

 

[LeftyJason]

Here is a good one. Using tech to get them back and some of how they work.

 

[broncoaz]

I received this email last month. Wife and I had a good laugh over it.
View attachment 7586986
View attachment 7586987

I get stuff like this in my email all the time, I ignore it. Nobody in my contact list would be at all surprised to find out I jack off. Besides, I put masking tape over the lens on my iPad just in case.

 

[1moaoff]

That one and the credit card debt relief i always try to talk to.

The credit people ask if I have any credit card debt.... I go on qith them and at the end tell them I'm a business and I pay it off every month but why should I when they will take care of it.

The SS idiots that call i tell them im actually waiting on benefits to be approved... but I act old and deaf until they hang up

 

[Son of Dorn]

The best I've herd is guys that almost got a scammer killed by sending him to Chad near Darfur. https://www.thisamericanlife.org/363/enforcers/act-one

I've been reading through that. Those guys are utterly evil...