Round two. Brunhilde is circling and attempting to land.

[AbitNutz]

After my ex-wife mounted broom and flew off with her new, soon-to-be ex-boyfriend, with all she thought valuable. I wrongly believed that she was actually gone. I thought I had found the ultimate painkiller, her absence. So I bought myself another motorcycle, a new BMW R 1250RT, reveled in all the excess disposable income, and proceeded to split my free time between blasting around the country roads of Southern Ohio and Northern Kentucky, honing my feeble skills at the now open shooting ranges within that riding area, and meeting and disappointing new women.
Well, one dark and stormy night (actually last week) I heard a howling that I thought only the undead can make. I was wrong yet again. It was a succubus, a soul eater. It was her! My ex-wife! She was back and she had a weapon....a suitcase! No, wait! Two suitcases! I remember something about the curse of the vampire, that you had to invite them in before they could cross your threshold. Well, that's bull$hit 'cause she pushed right past me, cursing me while she did..."get my bags, she hissed".
To make a long story short, I had learned. She was a magnificent teacher. I was absolutely immune to her pilate'd butt. I reached for the coffee table, not for the Ruger 57 that I had just finished putting a Tandemkross trigger in, although I do believe that would have been justified. Instead, I went for the jugular. I went for my cell phone and called 911. The look on her face...priceless....The suitcases remained on the porch until the nice man with the badge and then his backup, insisted she put them in her car and go away. I waived but I know ding dong, the witch is not dead.

 

[Ravenworks]

Pretty foolish putting this shit out there, I think you're a drama queen

 

[BigTex]

 

[Maggot]

After my ex-wife mounted broom and flew off with her new, soon-to-be ex-boyfriend, with all she thought valuable. I wrongly believed that she was actually gone. I thought I had found the ultimate painkiller, her absence. So I bought myself another motorcycle, a new BMW R 1250RT, reveled in all the excess disposable income, and proceeded to split my free time between blasting around the country roads of Southern Ohio and Northern Kentucky, honing my feeble skills at the now open shooting ranges within that riding area, and meeting and disappointing new women.
Well, one dark and stormy night (actually last week) I heard a howling that I thought only the undead can make. I was wrong yet again. It was a succubus, a soul eater. It was her! My ex-wife! She was back and she had a weapon....a suitcase! No, wait! Two suitcases! I remember something about the curse of the vampire, that you had to invite them in before they could cross your threshold. Well, that's bull$hit 'cause she pushed right past me, cursing me while she did..."get my bags, she hissed".
To make a long story short, I had learned. She was a magnificent teacher. I was absolutely immune to her pilate'd butt. I reached for the coffee table, not for the Ruger 57 that I had just finished putting a Tandemkross trigger in, although I do believe that would have been justified. Instead, I went for the jugular. I went for my cell phone and called 911. The look on her face...priceless....The suitcases remained on the porch until the nice man with the badge and then his backup, insisted she put them in her car and go away. I waived but I know ding dong, the witch is not dead.

You hadnt changed the locks???

 

[c1steve]

Good move, with the law there she was not able to make something out of nothing. You learned a valuable lesson, as you are now immune from her behavior.

 

[hlee]

Pictures of pilate'd butt or it didn't happen...

 

[kl3309]

Petition the Courts for a stay-away and/or red-flag her ass. That's what she's fixin' to do to you.

 

[AbitNutz]

Meh, I have to look at the humor in this shit after a while. Otherwise, I'd be sharing this in group therapy. I know many have gone through worse. Drama queen, er, uhm, not sure what to say to that one. I've always been described as reserved or the only living heart donor.

I guess you can laugh at me or laugh with me.

 

[AbitNutz]

Pictures of pilate'd butt or it didn't happen...

Right, and then she would have me in court again.

 

[NoDopes]

Should have asked for a quickie, then kicked her out.

 

[AbitNutz]

Should have asked for a quickie, then kicked her out.

Oh man, that would have been like Eve asking Adam to just take a quick bite of the apple. I have lived and learned, lived and learned. There ain't nothing. I repeat nothing. That would be worth going near that again.

 

[Alphatreedog]

Good for you . Way to think straight . God may love Children and Retards but everybody else loves a winner . For the effin win .

 

[oneshot86]

Should have asked for a quickie, then kicked her out.

The, ole grudge fuck...
Do it man do it

 

[Howland]

Having just ended marriage #2, I know exactly what you're going through.

I would have gone for a hard check against the boards to prevent her entry, but the 9-1-1 call was a no brainer.

 

[Spartan67]

You should have tossed at her some bread, and lunch meat, and told her to just get started. You can almost see the smoke coming off her shoes now...

 

[AbitNutz]

You should have tossed at her some bread, and lunch meat, and told her to just get started. You can almost see the smoke coming off her shoes now...

You think more quickly than I do brother. That would have been hysterical. I likely would not have survived it, but it would have been hilarious.

 

[Aaros143]

Should've asked the police for a criminal trespass warning on the spot.

 

[1moaoff]

If she has that good of an ass please show me and send me her number im in southern ohio.

 

[Mike Casselton]

After my ex-wife mounted broom and flew off with her new, soon-to-be ex-boyfriend, with all she thought valuable. I wrongly believed that she was actually gone. I thought I had found the ultimate painkiller, her absence. So I bought myself another motorcycle, a new BMW R 1250RT, reveled in all the excess disposable income, and proceeded to split my free time between blasting around the country roads of Southern Ohio and Northern Kentucky, honing my feeble skills at the now open shooting ranges within that riding area, and meeting and disappointing new women.
Well, one dark and stormy night (actually last week) I heard a howling that I thought only the undead can make. I was wrong yet again. It was a succubus, a soul eater. It was her! My ex-wife! She was back and she had a weapon....a suitcase! No, wait! Two suitcases! I remember something about the curse of the vampire, that you had to invite them in before they could cross your threshold. Well, that's bull$hit 'cause she pushed right past me, cursing me while she did..."get my bags, she hissed".
To make a long story short, I had learned. She was a magnificent teacher. I was absolutely immune to her pilate'd butt. I reached for the coffee table, not for the Ruger 57 that I had just finished putting a Tandemkross trigger in, although I do believe that would have been justified. Instead, I went for the jugular. I went for my cell phone and called 911. The look on her face...priceless....The suitcases remained on the porch until the nice man with the badge and then his backup, insisted she put them in her car and go away. I waived but I know ding dong, the witch is not dead.

Is this the toilet paper bitch?

 

[Dead Eye Dick]

I sincerely hope you are exaggerating that she walked in YOUR house cursing you and demanding you get her suitcases.

That behavior goes way beyond plain stupidity and orneriness. Instead of just getting a cease and desist order, It might be a good idea to also request the District Attorney petition a judge require an evaluation to determine the need to commit her in a long term mental health care facility. Under a court order, she can’t self discharge or be discharged at the usual 2 weeks. Nor can she be discharged without the court’s approval. oh, don’t forget the no contact order as well.

Finally have a really good divorce lawyer on retainer as well, jsut in case this ugliness rears its self up again. Even if you are currently divorced.

However, The last thing you need is an order naming you as the conservator of your ex-wife. These types of orders make you responsible for her health, safety and actions just as if she was your minor child.

 

[JbBooks]

Are you sure, you’re not the wife?! Therapy? Jesus fucking Christ, this is wtf is wrong with society, people just airing there shit out in public. Hey guy, go to the bar, get drunk, fuck some ol bar fly, cry to her. This is the sh bear pit, we got real issues here, like where in the ever loving fuck did milf Monday go on the mpt.


Oh and one last note....
You should’ve fucked her....
Fag!

 

[gonzaga]

If he would have fucked her she could have cried RAPE!!
That is the honest to God fucked up society that we live in and then he'd be the one on the outside looking in.

 

[Threadcutter308]

If she has that good of an ass please show me and send me her number im in southern ohio.

yer a nitwit. WTF you thinkin' ?

Can you actually run that fast ?

 

[whatsupdoc]

Now that is some funny shit.
This post should be a sticky.

 

[hlee]

Now that is some funny shit.
This post should be a sticky.

Knowing this crew, it will be… Eww.

 

[Threadcutter308]

Knowing this crew, it will be… Eww.

Too late.

Reinforcements incoming........

 

[Texasflyer]

You had the chance to be a big big man, be like "Bitch, put your bags back in your trunk, maybe if you do such and such dirty deed you can stay for breakfast" but... you went option b and.... called the cops?.... now you messed up the booty call forever, i bet she has contacted your other ex's allready on the x matrix network and now they know you're.... a booty call narc.... your blown dude, gonna have to change your name and move to another country... even then you may hear wispers in the shadows and light womens laughter as they point you out.... thats savage.

 

[Ravenworks]

Having just ended marriage #2, I know exactly what you're going through.

I would have gone for a hard check against the boards to prevent her entry, but the 9-1-1 call was a no brainer.

Get his number

If he would have fucked her she could have cried RAPE!!
That is the honest to God fucked up society that we live in and then he'd be the one on the outside looking in.

 

[Texasflyer]

Be epic op, right now. Call her and ask her to a nice dinner at olive garden. Make sure to let her know there are unlimited bread sticks. Then when you get there.... go in the bathroom and slug yourself in the eye, i mean really wail it in there. Then call the cops on her again. Then get us all a titty pic thru the visitation glass and we can tell you if the pilates worked or not.

 

[308pirate]

Having just ended marriage #2,

Slow learner?

 

[Baron23]

I thought the OP was very funny and people taking serious shots at him for it....well, seem to lack a sense of humor.

My advise, garlic on the door....keeps the vampires away. That stuff about having to invite them in is BS....garlic for the win, baby.

 

[THEIS]

Hi,

Sounds like a couple that are AbitNutz.................

Sincerely,
Theis

 

[acudaowner]

If she is not slobbering/ crying and stuttering while in court you did not do your job correctly get back in there and take one for the team dam it man . lol

 

[AbitNutz]

I only hear the words echoing in my mind, "The best revenge is living well. The best revenge is living well."

 

[Dirty D]

 

[AbitNutz]

You had the chance to be a big big man, be like "Bitch, put your bags back in your trunk, maybe if you do such and such dirty deed you can stay for breakfast" but... you went option b and.... called the cops?.... now you messed up the booty call forever, i bet she has contacted your other ex's allready on the x matrix network and now they know you're.... a booty call narc.... your blown dude, gonna have to change your name and move to another country... even then you may hear wispers in the shadows and light womens laughter as they point you out.... thats savage.

I can see how you could say that and I'm willing to live with your "wimp" label to completely get rid of her. I'm sure your momma told you that when you lie down with dogs you get up with fleas? How about doing it again and again and again? At some point, you become the flea carrier and spreading them to others. No thanks. I'll be who I am. I look around at my position in life, who are my friends, who wants to go out with me, and who wants to go out with the flea carriers. The best revenge is living well.

 

[Texasflyer]

I can see how you could say that and I'm willing to live with your "wimp" label to completely get rid of her. I'm sure your momma told you that when you lie down with dogs you get up with fleas? How about doing it again and again and again? At some point, you become the flea carrier and spreading them to others. No thanks. I'll be who I am. I look around at my position in life, who are my friends, who wants to go out with me, and who wants to go out with the flea carriers. The best revenge is living well.

Im a happily divorced man, 1 divorce. You are a beta male wimp. At least be man enough to be ashamed of being a whipped little bitch.... 3 times over.

 

[1moaoff]

yer a nitwit. WTF you thinkin' ?

Can you actually run that fast ?

I travel for a living, and I have a fake ID and burner phone...

GAME ON!!!

 

[AbitNutz]

Im a happily divorced man, 1 divorce. You are a beta male wimp. At least be man enough to be ashamed of being a whipped little bitch.... 3 times over.

Sorry dude, I happy guy now and not wasting one minute being miserable or seeking revenge. As bad as it was, it's over and I can laugh about it. He who seeks revenge should dig two graves and I'm all out of shovels.

 

[diggler1833]

Glad you didn't put your dick in her.

I had one last bang with my ex about 10 months into the NC required (at least at the time, its been a while) 1 year separation period. Bitch came at me for those extra 10 months when it came to determining how much of my military retirement she would rate. Judge took her side too.

Fortunately she and her lawyer suck at math, and I actually got the total number of months reduced by five (15 lower than she originally got me for). We had to ammend another part of the divorce decree, and my lawyer and I slid the month change in.

Never put your dick in something you're trying to get rid of.

 

[1moaoff]

Glad you didn't put your dick in her.

I had one last bang with my ex about 10 months into the NC required (at least at the time, its been a while) 1 year separation period. Bitch came at me for those extra 10 months when it came to determining how much of my military retirement she would rate. Judge took her side too.

Fortunately she and her lawyer suck at math, and I actually got the total number of months reduced by five (15 lower than she originally got me for). We had to ammend another part of the divorce decree, and my lawyer and I slid the month change in.

Never put your dick in something you're trying to get rid of.

Or get better at making them not want you afterwards!!!

 

[Carlos Danger]

If he would have fucked her she could have cried RAPE!!
That is the honest to God fucked up society that we live in and then he'd be the one on the outside looking in.

I know someone who did precisely this. Few years in prison and some more on parole. Sex offender status for life. Most costly piece of ass he ever had.

 

[diggler1833]

Or get better at making them not want you afterwards!!!

Cunt hasn't worked a day in 16-3/4 years. She lives off of my child support, my military mandated alimony (18.5% of my retirement), and the state. Like all cunts...they're going to come after everything they can get their hands on.

I don't want to hijack the OP's thread posting about how much I hope she develops an inoperable tumor.

 

[BLEE]

After my ex-wife mounted broom and flew off with her new, soon-to-be ex-boyfriend, with all she thought valuable. I wrongly believed that she was actually gone. I thought I had found the ultimate painkiller, her absence. So I bought myself another motorcycle, a new BMW R 1250RT, reveled in all the excess disposable income, and proceeded to split my free time between blasting around the country roads of Southern Ohio and Northern Kentucky, honing my feeble skills at the now open shooting ranges within that riding area, and meeting and disappointing new women.
Well, one dark and stormy night (actually last week) I heard a howling that I thought only the undead can make. I was wrong yet again. It was a succubus, a soul eater. It was her! My ex-wife! She was back and she had a weapon....a suitcase! No, wait! Two suitcases! I remember something about the curse of the vampire, that you had to invite them in before they could cross your threshold. Well, that's bull$hit 'cause she pushed right past me, cursing me while she did..."get my bags, she hissed".
To make a long story short, I had learned. She was a magnificent teacher. I was absolutely immune to her pilate'd butt. I reached for the coffee table, not for the Ruger 57 that I had just finished putting a Tandemkross trigger in, although I do believe that would have been justified. Instead, I went for the jugular. I went for my cell phone and called 911. The look on her face...priceless....The suitcases remained on the porch until the nice man with the badge and then his backup, insisted she put them in her car and go away. I waived but I know ding dong, the witch is not dead.

I'm proud of you! That takes some balls, but you needed to do it. Now she knows to stay gone... Hopefully!

 

[AbitNutz]

I'm proud of you! That takes some balls, but you needed to do it. Now she knows to stay gone.

My dog is even happy she's gone. He's a Border Collie and it took everything he had to keep from eating her Siamese cat.

 

[BLEE]

My dog is even happy she's gone. He's a Border Collie and it took everything he had to keep from eating her Siamese cat.

She must be my ex's, long lost sister.

 

[lariat]

I know someone who did precisely this. Few years in prison and some more on parole. Sex offender status for life. Most costly piece of ass he ever had.

This right here is the danger of those hookup sights. Why people can’t see this I have no clue.

 

[BullGear]

I feel for all of you divorced or soon to be divorced guys out there. I've been happily married to my wife for soon to be 37 years. She lets me buy whatever I want and I stay home and not in trouble. We are both Christians and believe the part about until death do us part.

I'm not judging, just thankful for how lucky I've been.

 

[rtB]

^^^^^ so what you're saying is someone else has been banging your wife for 34 years while you stay home.

Just kidding, sheesh.

 

[AbitNutz]

I feel for all of you divorced or soon to be divorced guys out there. I've been happily married to my wife for soon to be 37 years. She lets me buy whatever I want and I stay home and not in trouble. We are both Christians and believe the part about until death do us part.

I'm not judging, just thankful for how lucky I've been.

You are indeed a lucky man, sir. I bet your dog even likes her.